A/N: My longest chapter yet.. Wow. Four chapters.
Chapter 4
"So what am I to you? What am I in your eyes?" Ed asked, voice soft and almost sad.
"Beautiful," Roy replied without really thinking about it. He was almost as shocked by his words as Ed was.
"What?" Ed asked, raised eyebrows, confused. Roy shifted his position in his chair.
"You wanted an honest answer, didn't you?" he asked. Ed nodded. "I see you as the beautiful human being that you are. You don't need to get all fancy to show off your good qualities for me or anyone. You're perfectly fine the way you are everyday."
Roy groaned and held his head. Why had he said something like that? Now Ed was sure to avoid him. If the blonde running from the room like his shoes were on fire wasn't clue enough, Roy was sure that no word from either Ed nor Hughes in the last six hours was definitely a sign.
He screwed up big time.
Ed was avoiding him now, he just knew it. As fuhrer, he could always order Ed to come see him, but then what? Was he supposed to ask Ed to forgive him or something? Never. Roy was never going to apologize for how he felt. Even if Ed never returned the feelings, he'd still love Ed. He couldn't change it. He'd tried. Eight years he'd tried to correct these feelings.
At first he told himself it was paternal, seeing Ed lying unconscious on that bed. Then it was like Ed was his kid brother, he told himself. Teasing Ed every chance he got and getting Ed to meet people and do things to help him grow and become a better person to become a state alchemist. After that, every chance he got to see Ed, he felt like a kid in a candy store and would get all his pent up emotions out by teasing Ed even more. There was no end to it, it was a vicious cycle.
Then he had to admit respect for Ed, worry and fear for Ed. He had to admit that he cared about him deeply, but he never admitted it was love. Then they lost contact with Ed and all thought he was dead. That's when it hit him. Ed dead? His heart had hurt so much he couldn't stand it. He had to excuse himself to another area where he leaned head first against a wall and told himself Ed was just fine and there was no reason to worry at all.
And then they could see Ed walking toward them through the flames of homes that had been caught in the cross fire between Roy and Pride, and Ed, Envy, Wrath, Gluttony, and whoever else was down there. Ed never did tell them who all was involved. Ed had come into view carrying his little brother on his back. As soon as Al was taken from him by Riza, Ed had collapsed. Roy caught him before he hit the ground, an undefinable relief spreading through him.
Ed was alive! But when he woke up, Ed was in a depression. He tried to smile, but Roy saw the years of a wise old man in Ed's eyes. He hated it. So with the help of Al, Winry, Riza, and the other military men Ed was friends with, Roy did his best to cheer Ed up. It wasn't long before Riza or someone said something inspirational to Ed and the blonde perked up like new. Roy was overjoyed to see Ed happy again, but now had little time to see him due to his new job as fuhrer.
It seemed that even after realizing his feelings, things only got worse. They couldn't get much worse than now. If Ed avoided him, he wouldn't apologize for his feelings, but he might as well become a priest. There was no way he could forget about Ed after watching him so closely for the last eight years. He would go mad with anxiety. He would-
"Hiya, Roy!" a loud and annoying voice rang through his head and gave him an instant headache.
"Hello, Hughes...," Roy grumbled, setting his pen down. He would break from signing papers.
"Take a break from all those papers, Roy," Hughes said and Roy groaned. "I need to talk to you about a very serious issue."
"Yes?" Roy asked, hoping it was Ed. Hughes took a deep, serious breath. Then he pulled out two pictures. Expecting them to be of Elysia, Roy rolled his eyes. However, they were of Ed. One was Ed in his normal outfit, and one was Ed in everyday street clothes.
"Which one? Elysia told me to get a picture of Edward for her to put in her scrapbook of love, or something, and I just can't choose. I thought you'd be able to help since you're the Ed expert and all," Maes explained with a grin and a happy tone. Roy grit his teeth.
"Maes...," he threatened.
"Oh, just pick one, Roy. It's not that hard," Hughes said, losing the joking tone. Roy sighed.
"The black outfit he always wears. If your daughter is going to idolize Ed, she should idolize him as he always looks," Roy replied tiredly. Hughes stuffed the photos away.
"Thanks. So anyway, Ed changed out of that nifty uniform I gave him. No clue why. The kid wont talk to me. The only thing I could get him to say was 'I blame you', but what on Earth would he blame me for?" Hughes asked. "I only told him to go show you his new uniform."
"I'm afraid I may have said too much and angered Fullmetal," Roy explained, frowning a little.
Hughes stared a Roy a moment and then adopted a quizzical look.
"Oh yeah? What did you say to him?" he asked. Roy sighed.
"I told him I liked his normal clothes better. He got upset and asked me just what I thought of him and I...," Roy paused.
"Yes?" Hughes urged.
"I told him I thought he was beautiful," Roy confessed with a deep sigh. "He booked it out of here like a cougar was after him. I seriously messed up this time."
"Nah. It's not that bad. I'm sure Ed was just surprised and needed some alone time to think about it," Hughes replied, trying to comfort his best friend.
"Maes, if he needs to think about it, it doesn't matter. He either likes me or he doesn't," Roy said pessimistically. Hughes grunted, then he smiled.
"Well I always knew you were a fruit fly, but I never had the chance to ask Edward. I mean, he does have a lot of admirers from his travelers. You know, I heard he even made friends with that hot thief woman. Ed told me she was going to show up for his party but something came up," Hughes said, basically ranting.
"If you're trying to make me feel better, you're not," Roy growled.
"Oop. Sorry. Sorry. My bad," Hughes apologized and laughed lightly.
"Just... use your overflowing charm and get some information on Edward for me, will you?" Roy asked, looking tired.
"Sure thing, Roy. Anything," Hughes replied, fixing his uniform and strolling from the room.
– – – – – – – – – –
Roy was closing up and leaving for the night. The only ones still going to be in the offices were the night shift militia. Roy knew them all by name or rank. Some he could only remember if they were with someone else he knew. Anyway, he was working on it.
Roy waved to the last man in the building before the door. Now the sun was set and the stars were glinting above him, laughing at his pain. He cursed those stars. Why did they have to be so damn bright and twinkly? They were mocking everyone on Earth for the pitiful lives they led. Smug bastards.
"Not on guard? The fuhrer is sure asking to be jumped," a sly voice teased. Roy smirked, albeit a bit sadly, and turned to the one speaking.
Ed was leaning on a building, right under a light. He was wearing his normal everyday clothes - black tank top, black vest with a cloth clasp, tight yet baggy black pants, and boots. It was a relief to see him in those clothes, but he didn't understand exactly why Ed had changed back. Was it all because of what Roy had said? Or maybe he was tired of all the stares... either way, Roy's heart swelled against his will at the very sight of his familiar little blonde.
"And just who would dare jump me? Not to mention, who besides you would even notice I was off guard?" Roy asked, hands in his pockets.
"Good point. Maybe I shouldn't worry," Ed shrugged.
He pushed off the wall and began to stroll down the road. The way the light glinted on his hair made him shine like gold. Outside of the light, as he walked, Ed looked so young again. Roy was sent back through all 8 years of knowing Ed. His heart swelled again.
"Edward, wait up," Roy called out. As if under a spell, Ed froze.
"You're off duty. I don't have to treat you like a fuhrer and listen to what you have to say," Ed replied. Roy was already caught up to him though, and they started walking together.
"Yes, but that's on my own personal request... and you did what I asked anyway," Mustang pointed out.
"Hmph," Ed huffed out and looked away from Roy. Roy just smiled.
"So were you waiting for me to get off work?" Roy asked. Why else would Ed be out there so late?
"Don't flatter yourself, Colonel. I wasn't out here for anything but curiosity," Ed said a little harshly, wanting to make his point clear... even if he was partially lying - which is what it sounded like to Roy.
"Curious? About what?" Roy asked. Inwardly he knew. Ed was going to ask about the comment he'd made in the office. However, he also knew Ed was proud and wouldn't admit it right away. In fact, he wasn't replying with anything. He could be so childish... and yet, so could Roy. Perhaps they were equally stubborn when it came to feelings.
"What did you mean back in the office?" Ed finally asked after about five minutes of walking. Normally, Roy would have used a car, as many preferred him to do, but since he wasn't even wearing his uniform he doubted anyone would recognize him in the dark. Besides, he had the Fullmetal Alchemist with him, just incase his own alchemy wasn't enough to defend himself.
"Hm?" Roy asked, playing dumb. Ed noticed and pouted.
"You know what I'm talking about. That statement about me being beautiful! You don't tell a guy he's beautiful everyday! What the hell is that supposed to mean? How am I supposed to react to something like that?" Ed complained.
Roy frowned.
"However you want to," he replied like it was obvious.
"What? What kind of answer is that?" Ed grunted. Sometimes Roy could see hatred in Ed's eyes, and it only hurt when it was pointed at him. However, despite the hate in Ed's eyes now, he knew it wasn't directed at him. It was directed right back in at Ed himself.
"Well, being told you're beautiful can only mean one thing. The person thinks you're beautiful, stunning, attractive,... you appeal to them in some form or another. The way you respond depends on how you feel about the other person. If two women are shopping together and they tell each other they're beautiful, it means they probably look damn good in the outfit they're wearing and the corresponding female would no doubt giggle and smile. But if her boyfriend was with her and said the same thing, she may blush and smile. They may even kiss. See Edward? You can't be told how to respond. You're going to respond however you see fit. You're not an inexperienced child anymore," Roy replied roughly.
The fuhrer wasn't quite in the mood for these silly games. Normally, he'd find it cute and tease Ed, but he was a little tired - mostly emotionally - and was not in the mood for his emotions to be toyed with and tested. Ed seemed to sense this and shied away just a little. Roy stopped walking as they passed a shop that was closing down. He thought about it and nodded.
"You stay here and think. I'll be right back," Roy said and entered the shop. He left Ed to think. Sometimes it was easier to think alone.
The shop he went into sold food as well as flowers and small gift items, probably more for girls. Roy was mostly in here to buy some bread. He browsed the other isles with his eyes, just in case Ed looked in the window. If the blonde thought Roy was shopping for a gift, he may get mixed feelings about it. He'd either think Roy was buying it for him, which he was, and get scared and run, or he'd think Roy was buying it for a girl and.. Well if he liked Roy, he'd get upset and yell at Roy. If he didn't like Roy, he'd probably still get upset but with less yelling.
"Thank you for shopping," the cashier woman said, bowing to him as he took his stuff.
"No, thank you," Roy said with a charming smile. She blushed as Roy left, making the bell above the door jingle.
"Sorry for keeping you waiting," Roy said, looking at Ed. He adopted a confused look. "Edward?"
A/N: This story is so different than imagined it. For starters, it was supposed to be a one-shot. XD And there was supposed to be more Russell. Oh well. I'll try that later if it comes into play, I suppose. :P