Disclaimer: I don't own Jack (as he has told me on many occasions) therefore he can flirt with any floozie he wants. (Tis righ', lass, ye can't be goin' and changin' the natural way o' things!) But god forbid I bat my eyelashes at someone else…(Oy! Ye! Yeh makin' eyes at me gel? I'll rip ye ta shreds ye bloated bastard son o' a whore!) See what I mean. Okay, my chapter. Here it goes…
It wasn't before long my mother was standing outside my door. She knocked lightly, "You guys okay in there? You're not getting high or doing anything illegal, are you?" She kidded. Oh mama, if you only knew…
"We're perfectly fine!" I cried, striving to calm my heart rate.
Jack pointed a triumphant bejeweled finger at me and exclaimed, "Ah hah! Ye talked! Ye lost the game, yeh 'ave! Ye lost an' I won! I won an' ye lost…"
I clapped a hand over his mouth in desperation. Oh god, the jig was up. My mom would come in guns blazing…
Laughter didn't sound anything at all like machine gun fire. My mom was laughing, "You're getting really good at that Jack Sparrow voice, Vicki! If I didn't know any better I'd think a real drunken pirate was in there with you."
Vicki and I shared a glance.
'What?' I mouthed in confusion.
She shrugged her shoulders in response in a sort of 'Just go with the flow' way.
"Thanks, Ms. Hobbes." She piped up. I eyed her curiously as she mouthed back, 'What can ya do?'
"You're welcome. You guys stay up as late as you want, just don't wake me up, okay?"
"Okay!" Vicki and I chorused hoping that would be the end of this near miss.
My mom's footsteps retreated and we waited for the sounds of her getting ready for bed to end before we relaxed finally.
"That was close." Vicki sighed.
"Yeah, too close…OW!"
Jack had just lightly bitten my hand. I had forgotten it was even there. He must have been suffocating…all the same, that doesn't call for use of teeth.
I rounded on him, "What do you think you're doing, ya dip dong? I've probably got rabies now!"
Jack disregarded my foul mood (despite the dangers of doing so) and asked pleasantly, returning to his previous position stretched out on my bed, "Who was tha'? Yer maid? Yer governess?"
"My mother."
Jack made an "Oh" face to find his guesses so off the mark, but pleased none the less. I didn't like his look, namely because I could see the cogs turning in his head. It's not everyday that you meet your girlfriends mother, am I right? And if I was interpreting his look accurately he was planning to make it clear to her that we'd gotten freaky on the island. No way that was happening. I don't think so; I had no wish to be deported to a nunnery.
"And she can't know you're here!" I commanded, pointing a finger at his nose.
"I don't think yer in any position ta stop me if I want ta meet yer lovely mother, lass."
"He does have a point." Vicki admitted, "How are you gonna keep him a secret?"
"We! How are WE going to keep THEM a secret! I'm not going solo on this." I reminded her strictly.
"So, why can't I meet ye mumsy, me love?" Jack asked again, swinging his legs over the side of the bed to peer at me, "I promise I'll be a perfect gentleman."
"Norrington would be a perfect gentleman. You, well we all know what you'd do…" Vicki snorted.
"An' yer point, lass?" Jack countered snidely.
"There doesn't have to be a point. You're not getting near her, Sparrow!" I argued, "And besides," I added in an effort to end the matter, "she's deathly allergic to…make up wearing pirates…and…I'm not too fond of them either."
Jack's brow rose skeptically.
"Oh come on, Rachel, you know you love his eye-liner." Vicki chided me.
I grumbled but didn't answer in the affirmative.
"Is'all righ', Miss Victoria…I think I 'ave a hunch as ta why she doesn't want her mother ta meet me." He leaned forward a bit more, his features twisted into a very smug expression, "It's because ye weren't exactly mummy's litt'l gel on tha' island, righ' lass? Yeh did some things ye'd never live down or admit to, am I righ'? I hit the nail on the 'ead, didn't I?" He waggled his brow.
Vicki and Will turned to stare at me simultaneously. I didn't look at them.
"Um, Rachel," Vicki began, "not to press or anything but…just WHAT did you DO on that island?"
"Yes, please inform us…" Will asked earnestly.
"Nothing." I crossed my arms defiantly over my chest, glaring at Sparrow, "Nothing at all."
"Tha's not exactly the way I remember it, love." Jack commented lightly from his perch, as he nonchalantly glanced over is nails.
"Well, that's the way I remember it." I said with an air of finality.
"I can refresh yer memory if ye like…" Jack volunteered huskily.
My knees nearly gave out.
Vicki rolled her eyes, "Oh for god's sake, Jack, just take her to the coat closet and get it over with."
"What? Like you and Will did?" I snapped abruptly, "You stay put!" I commanded to Jack, who had begun to get to his feet with an intimidating gleam in his eyes. At my words, he raised his arms as if backing off, but his smirk was much too feral for my tastes. I glared at him suspiciously until Vicki piped up.
"Actually, we were interrupted." Vicki clarified, sniffing in disdain as she crossed her own arms over her abdomen.
"By who?" I questioned.
"The vacuum cleaner, to be exact."
Will had just blushed so badly his ears ended up turning beet red.
I shook my head…too much info. I coughed embarrassed, "I think we should, ugh…get ready for bed. Get some sleep. We've got to find a way to send you guys back tomorrow."
Vicki's grip tightened on Will's arm.
"But, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it." I assured her hastily.
In the end we all decided sleep was the most useful and welcome course of action, as we were all beat. Vicki and I took turns in the bathroom, to brush our teeth and change into PJ's. Her in her flamingo design ones and me in my Nightmare Before Christmas tee and flannel black baggy pants.
Vicki went to set up the Aerobed for Jack and Will. I woke my mom up.
"What? What is it, honey?" She murmured groggily, trying to wake up.
"Just wanted to say goodnight. Vicki and I will sleep in. We'll make our own breakfasts and I'll call you when we're up."
"Okay, sweetie. I love you." She murmured, burying her head under the covers again.
"I love you too." I whispered, shutting the door gently behind me. "But would you still love me if I had a man, no wait, TWO men in my room? Yep. Didn't think so…" I chuckled, making my way to my room, "I'd be sent to an all girls boarding school…"
Thoughts of such a scenario fled my mind as I entered my room to find Jack had tossed his coat, hat and boots to the other side of the room and was now lying sprawled out on my comforter again. The slit in his shirt was gracious enough to give me a glance of a well tanned chest. I shook myself out of it.
"Alright." I proclaimed, hands on my hips to try and look authorative, "Off my bed."
"Ye could just share it with me." Jack returned.
"You could just get your ass kicked unless you move now!" I said, grabbing him by the leg that hung off the side and pulling him off.
"Come on Vicki, you can fondle Will later. I'm tired."
Vicki growled faintly, but reluctantly untangled her arms from him. I got in bed and turned out the light, sick of waiting for her. I heard whispers, then Vicki giggled.
"Play footsie with Turner another time!" I whined, beating my pillow with my fist as I sought a comfortable sleeping position, "I really wanna go to bed!"
Vicki laughed loudly at that. Come beads jingled nearby, Jack settling down next to Will, no doubt. Vicki got in beside me, and I pinned another pillow over my head to block out the rest of her smothered giggles. Stupid Will. Stupid Vicki. Stupid love…couldn't just let a girl get a decent night's sleep.
I should have been paying more attention at the time. Things were different in the morning.
I think I dreamed of dancing demon monkeys. I was taping Vicki as she painted a picture of Will. When I asked her to do her impression of Jack she threw down her brush and declared, 'she couldn't work under these conditions' and dragged Will off with her. Then Jack appeared and I locked him in a Batman lunchbox I had had in second grade.
Needless to say that was nothing close to what I woke up to.
I snuggled closer to my pillow under the warm covers, but it certainly wasn't a pillow.
"Jesus, Vicki…" I muttered turning my back to her presence, still half asleep, "tell to sod off when I'm sleep molesting you."
An arm snaked around my middle, pulling me against a solid warmth behind me.
"Not Victoria, love…an' not mindin' it one bit."
I screamed.
Somewhere downstairs, Vicki nearly dropped the milk she was about to pour over Will's first helping of Frosted Mini Wheats, her arm was shaking because she was laughing so hard.
Jack's hand was over my mouth before I had time to draw breath to scream again. I was now turned to face him, eyes wide.
Gently, he removed his hand.
I erupted. "What are you doing in my bed!" I whispered in a hushed, shaking voice.
"I 'ad been in the throes o' a peaceful sleep until tha' delicious wake up…"
"No…" I stopped his flow of words with the face of my palm, "I mean how did you sneak in my bed and why?"
His eyes shifted from dark to light, and back again. "I wouldn't necessarily call it sneakin', love. It more worked ou' like this: Miss Victoria wanted some undisturbed time with Turner an' suggested we make a litt'l…trade. Ye…for the Eunuch. But I 'ave ta say I do think I got the betta end of the deal." He murmured, burying his head in my neck. Whoah, not that early! Besides, I had some retribution to dole out because someplace, somewhere there was a dead Vicki walking!
"Where is she?" I growled, making to throw off the covers and crawl over Jack to find her and read her the riot act…four or five times on mega sound.
Unfortunately, Jack's arm was still wrapped securely about my waist. I couldn't budge in any direction. I couldn't even press myself closer. When Jack doesn't want you to move…you don't move an eyelash.
"Now's, I also bargained with the lass tha' I would 'old ye back should ye feel any need for bloodshed in light o' the proposition we agreed on."
I answered calmly, "I see no reason for bloodshed. I won't kill her…" I moved to rise, his arms loosening about me, "I'll just maim her really, REALLY badly!" I tried to dive out of the bed but Jack's arms clamped down again, relentless as a vice, "Now, let go of me so I can go push her down the driveway!"
Jack rolled me under him with the expertise of… well…let's just say he'd probably done it before. We wrestled for a few moments, each of us trying to get the upper hand. Actually, it was me fighting for the upper hand, Jack already had it.
"Sorry, nothin' doin', love. I'll release yeh as soon as ye calm yerself enough ta 'ave some breakfast. Personally o' course…I'm rather enjoyin' meself…"
"Sparrow…" I began in the most threatening voice I could muster in my current position, "get your hands off me now or face the consequences."
"I'll take those odds." His eyes glittering darkly.
"I…I mean it, Sparrow…" I sputtered, seeing that menacing shine flickering in his eyes, "If you try anything…if you do something…"
"Wha'?" He inquired with an impish innocence he didn't have, "Ye mean somethin'…"
"Don't…" I warned severely.
"…a litt'l like this?"
A little something like this was exactly what I had meant. I had every intention of telling him off so badly that his ears would bleed, but that is somewhat hard to do when someone else's lips are fused hotly with your own. Plus, it was kind of hard to think around...all THAT. The man had some deadly skills with his mouth, no kidding. I was completely comatose by the time he had pulled away. After a few moments of speechless dumbfounded silence I managed to choke out, "That…was…low…"
"Aye," Jack nodded slightly, agreeing as he husked, "below the belt ta be sure, but every bit as rewardin', in any case." He murmured leaning forward again.
I'd never had someone nibble at my neck before. I was going numb. 'Wake up, and bring yourself around, girl!' I mentally screamed. I was so mad. I was stronger than this, goddamnit! I would not allow myself to keep falling into a puddle of mush whenever he said my name or looked in my direction. I would not abide it.
Shit.
He was kissing me again.
As much as I hated to think it, as much as it disgusted me, I realized I had grown into a full fledged MARY SUE! I couldn't hold my own against ONE lousy pirate! I had Jack Sparrow in my room…in my BED…and I was letting him kiss me and I was kissing HIM back! I was a Sued Pimp, I realized sadly. I was the bane of all that was sacred and cannon! I had become what the fanfiction verse ran in mortal fear of!
'Never again,' I vowed.
'Stop speaking like a weep wailing OC!' My more sensible side snipped cruelly.
(Sniff) 'But I am an OC…'
'Not on my watch!'
'You can't stop it.'
'Watch me, Barbie.'
Thus was my internal dialogue.
Coming up for air, with no idea the battle raging on in my warped mind, Jack murmured muzzily against my ear, "Now…abou' those consequences…"
I pulled back, stretching my arm behind my back, searching my bedside table.
"Ya want 'em?" I pitched my voice to a lower register.
"Indeed, I do…" He was leaning in for yet another go.
My fingers wrapped around a tall bottle, bringing it slowly forward, concealed by my back.
"You got 'em! Here ya go!"
And so saying, I sprayed him in the face with my Lolita Lempika perfume. His eyes were already almost shut in expectation of another kiss, or else it would have done some serious damage, about as much as could be expected from pepper spray. Luckily he just swallowed a bunch of it, choked, gasped for breath and started up a lung busting coughing that allowed me a short amount of time to wiggle myself out of his clutches to tear out of my room and down the stairs.
I skidded into the kitchen.
"VICTORIA CAMERON FRASER, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!"
She peeked her head in from the dining room, "Did he google you yet?"
"NO!" I bellowed, "And I don't appreciate your selling me to Jack just so you can squeeze in another closet rendezvous with Will!" I fumed.
"Is that a hickey on your neck?" She asked peering at me.
I clapped a hand bruisingly to the side of my neck on which Jack had bestowed his ardent minstrations.
"Don't try to change the subject when I'm mad at you…" I pointed out following her into the dining room.
"Really, Miss Rachel," Will cut in around an inquisitive tasting of the frosted mini wheats, "by no means is it as bad as you fear, surely…"
"And YOU…!" I cried, rounding on him, "You should KNOW better! Leaving a poor defenseless girl alone in a room with the likes of that Ladies Man! You should be ashamed of yourself…"
Will hung his head in guilt and pushed away his cereal bowl with a grimace, "I think I've had enough, Victoria."
"Bullshit. Eat up. Don't listen to her." Vicki said sliding the bowl back to him, "She's just in denial. She's trying to pretend she didn't have rabid bunny sex with him on that island."
"I didn't!" I protested.
"She's really just head-over-heels,-wild-crazy-dog,-hate-to-love-love-to-hate-him,-out-of-her-mind,-head-in-the-clouds,-wants-to-marry-him-and-have-lots-of-babies,-in love with him."
I stamped my foot on the ground, loudly like a little girl having a temper tantrum, "I AM NNNNNNNNNNOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!"
Vicki smirked widely, "See what I mean?"
Will smothered a grin.
"She's crazy about him." Vicki put out.
I lowered my volume but my snarl stayed just as deadly as it had been a moment before, "I am not crazy about Jack Bloody Sparrow."
Before Vicki could point out the lie in such words a new voice joined our heated debate…a higher voice, thrown into a mockingly falsetto feminine tone.
"Oh, tha' Captain Jack Sparrow simply drives me mad! I'm crazy abou' 'im. 'is ruggedly 'andsome devil-may-care features 'ave ensared me an' set me aflame…"
I spun around in horror to view Jack descending the stairs; his mouth speaking these words in what I assume was supposed to be an imitation of me, with a book in his hands. My mouth dropped at the sight of it.
It had come from my room. My dream journal, in which I recorded all I could remember of any dream I woke up from, was in his hands! It had been hidden. Looks like Jack had found it.
With a merry twinkle in his eyes, and a certain smug smile on his lips he continued, "He gets me all 'ot an' bothered. God Almighty, if I 'ad 'im with me righ' now, we'd 'ave a glorious romp together an' I'd no longer 'ave me knickers in such a bloody twist." He was now down level with us.
My face was so red by then that I could have passed for a very large lobster or a very small Henry the Eighth. Will had just spat out a frosted square back into his bowl with a plop and Vicki was turning blue, as she choked on her orange juice.
Of course I had written nothing of the sort in that book. For someone who was as obsessed as I was with the dear Captain, I sure didn't have that many dreams about him. Oddly enough it was Vicki who had that pleasure. The world was sick and twisted that way. So there was really no danger, but there were some things…other types of things that I didn't want him to read in front of a roomful of people.
"Give it here!" I screeched as I launched myself at his hand that held the small book.
Holding it aloft, high above me, he danged it just out of my reach.
"I'm not a damn cat, Jack!" I protested, jumping up again to try and snatch it from him, "Just give it to me!"
"I beg ta differ abou' the cat comment…yer quite the Hellcat. Leavin' me in such a state o' wantin'." He made a tsking sound, "Tis not nice ta be such a tease, love," He murmured pulling the book back higher every time I jumped, "Is it?"
"What a horrible pun, Jack. Don't try it again. Now…GIMMEE!"
"I'll take that…" Vicki claimed, as she plucked it from his hand. She had climbed back up the stairs and reached her arm through the railing to get it.
I stopped my frantic attempts at getting it back, "Thanks a bunch, Vicki." I sighed relieved but it seemed Vicki had plans to read it as well.
"Hmmn, uh-hmnn, ah ha…" She commented, "Oh my…" She looked down at Jack, "Sorry Jack, this dream wasn't about you…but…wow, that's really steamy…Rachel…is this your 'In a dressing room with Sean Bean' dream?"
I ran to check. God help me if it was.
"Who be this then?" Jack grumbled, trying to take a peek at the writing as well.
"Nobody…" I said quickly, just as Vicki said, "Oh, he's this guy Rachel's ga-ga for…only he's like forty-six with children…"
"He's 'as forty-five children!" Jack's eyes popped, "Why 'ee's been with more lasses than I, by the sound o' it."
"Not forty-five children!" Vicki snorted, "He's forty-five years old and he has children."
"Oh…well then…"
Vicki turned the page.
"Why are yeh dreamin' abou' this bloke, eh?" Jack inquired, prodding me in the shoulder.
"Ow…"
"Why?" He poked me again, more insistent this time.
"Will you knock it off!" I snapped, swatting at his hand like a fly.
But Jack as we all know is relentless, "Why ye be dreamin' abou' other men, lass? 'Ain't I enough?"
Poke…
Prod…
Poke…
"I don't know! I don't know why!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms in the air in surrender. "I don't know why I dream about other guys and not you, but that's jus the way it is. Deal with it! And while you're at it maybe you'll ask Vicki why SHE'S the one that gets all the sex dreams with you in them!"
"Wha'?" Jack pulled back in pleased surprise.
"What?" Will uttered softly in shocked stupor.
Vicki's face paled drastically and her mouth tightened into a straight line. She took brief darting glances at the gawking males, "I don't know what she's talking about." So saying she glared at me and hit me with the book.
Jack smiled knowingly and while Will had relaxed and had sent her a timid smile, he still looked somewhat uneasy. Vicki turned another page, trying to pretend I hadn't just outed her.
"So wha's me bonny lass doin' in these dreams…hmnnn?" Jack purred, reaching a hand through the railing to run his fingers up my leg. I tried vainly to remember the last time I'd shaved.
"Nothing." My voice trembled. Get a grip, woman!
Vicki snorted, "In other words the shedding of clothes and lots and lots of wall slamage."
"Wall slamage?" Jack asked raising a brow.
Vicki shook her head, "Forget about it, you've done it before…You wouldn't be Jack Sparrow if you hadn't."
"It sounds shifty…" Jack commented, "Why's it in yer dreams?"
I erupted.
"I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW! I DUNNO! STOP ASKING ME! I DUNNO!"
Vicki turned another page and making a huge double take at the words written on it, her mouth twisted into a malicious grin.
"Hey, Rachel…there's on about Jason Isaacs in here too."
"Who?" Jack asked, turning his attention to her.
"Well whoever he is she apparently, and this is a direct quote, 'wants him to…'"
"LA LA LA LA LA!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, making everyone wince.
Unfortunately Vicki simply leaned over the rails and whispered it in his ear.
I knew I was doomed.
Sparrow's look was incredulous. The poor man had evidently gone into some sort of shock, or so I thought…until he murmured aghast, "Me…me bonny lass wrote tha' down?"
Vicki nodded.
Jack exploded. There's no other term I can use for what happened.
"LET ME SEE THA'!" He exclaimed, swapping the book from Vicki's hands, flipping through its pages frantically in a manic state.
In a moment of pure luck and coincidence the phone rang.
I took the cue and exited before Jack could rant the house down.
"Yeah, hello?"
"Can I speak to Rachel?" Came the familiar voice.
"You are. Hi Maura, great timing. You just saved me from a confrontation."
"With who?" She asked eagerly.
"A guy…"
"A guy? Rachel's got a guy?"
"It's complicated."
"I'll bet. So listen, I was just ya know…wondering if you wanna go see a movie or something or hang out…"
"Maura…this really isn't a good time."
"Let me guess. It's your guy and it's complicated."
"In a manner of speaking…"
"I can't bloody get me mind around it." Jack proclaimed, shaking the book in his fist, "The wench 'as been two timin' me. Me!"
"Only in her dreams." Will reminded him.
"I don't give a flyin' fuck, mate. It's still adulterous." Jack shot back.
Vicki snorted, "I'd imagine you'd know all about that word, Jack."
"And honestly, Jack," Will added, "you make it sound as if you both had some sort of understanding. You aren't married to her, as you pointed out the last few months, at every port and pirate village we stopped in on."
"If only, boy. Married men are getting' more ou' o' their friendly lasses than I am at the momen'." Sparrow scoffed.
"JACK!" Vicki shouted outraged, "Eh, you're probably right." She agreed.
"Wha' is takin 'er so bloody long, anyways?" He gestured to the other room.
"She's on the phone, cool your jets." Vicki answered.
"Say again?" Jack asked.
Vicki sighed in annoyance, "She's talking to someone."
"Is'it a chap?" Sparrow inquired suspiciously.
Vicki decided to have a little fun.
"Could be. It's probably Sergio."
Silence, then…
"WHO THE BLOODY 'ELL IS SERGIO!"
"In a manner of speaking…"
"Oh come on, Rachel. How bad could it possibly be?" Maura admonished me.
Possibly?
Bad. Really, REALLY bad.
I honestly didn't see him come in but suddenly POOF, there he was…and he looked beyond pissed.
"Can I help you?" I asked, putting a hand to the receiver.
"Where is 'ee!" Jack demanded.
"Where is who?" I asked, confused.
"I know 'ee's 'ere so's don't even try it, yeh brazen hussy!"
"You what?" I inquired dangerously of him.
"Where'd yeh 'ide the stinkin' coward? Ye want me woman yeh'll 'ave ta fight me ye litt'l bugger!" He yelled to the all but empty room.
"What are you going on about? Hold on." I turned back to the phone, "Maura could you like chill for a sec? I've got a problem I need to deal with…"
"Is tha' 'im?" Jack demanded, pointing to the phone.
"Is WHAT WHO!" I shouted, trying to understand him, "You're talking like a crazy person, Jack! What is it?"
"Tha' does it, gel! Give me tha' thingamabobber tha' yeh got in yer 'and."
"Are you out of your mind?" I exclaimed, "No way. I'm not giving you the phone. You're not ready for it. Hey!" I yelped as he snatched it from me.
And then he started bellowing into the mouth piece and my mouth dropped.
"IS THIS SERGIO, THE PANSYING FRISKER! OR IS IT THE TASTELESS BADGER, SEAN BEAN!"
"JACK!" Wherever the hell did he get the idea that Sean Bean was on my phone? I mean not that it wouldn't be cool, it's just highly unlikely.
"WELL, 'OEVER YEH ARE, YE DAFT BIG BUMMED MONSTROSITY, YER NOT GETTING' YER CLAWS IN ME BONNY LASS! YEH GOT IT!"
"Jack, you stupefied carrot, give me the goddamn phone!"
"YE STAY OUT O' THIS, YE LOUD VOLUMED WITCH!"
"YOU'RE GONNA BE ROAD KILL, JACK! I'M WARNING YOU!"
By now our shouts had drawn Will and Vicki into the room as well…Jack was back to yelling at the person on the other line, regardless as to whether it was Sean Bean or not.
"NOW YEH LISTEN 'ERE, YE GREASY MAN-CHILD FOOL! YE STAY AWAY FROM 'ER OR I'LL BE GO PULLIN' THE TRIGGER 'APPY JACK AND I'LL BLOW YER BRAINS OU', SAVVY? YE…YE…SNUFFBOXED WILLY MCNOW! YE UNDERSTAND, BOY? I WILL MESS WIF YE SO BADLY, YE WON'T BE ANY BETTA OFF THAN A SHADOWED LARK IN WITH A SCOTTISH PRISON FONDLER!"
"I say, I take offence at that remark." Vicki remarked.
That was as far as he got before I tackled him and pried the phone from his hands while he spat out curses of the most amazing and unusual variety.
"Hey Maura…ya still there?" I asked uncertainly.
"Yeah…yeah I think so…" Came the weak reply.
"I'm so sorry about that. Trust me I'm going to have a long serious discussion with him about phone etiquette."
"That's good, great for you…uh Rachel?"
"Ya huh?"
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Ok, yeah…sure…"
"Just what is Jack Sparrow doing on your phone anyway?"
"Apparently threatening bodily harm, if his curses are anything to go by."
"Yeah but…"
"Gotta go, Maura!"
I hung up the phone.
"We are in such deep dog doo if she thinks it's really him." I muttered.
"Why?" Vicki asked from her perch on top of Jack, next to Will. Sweet people that they were, they had restrained him.
"Because she'll keep calling."