Part V
Beverly allowed the smirk on her face to turn into a full-fledged smile. "Also," she said, "I told you so." Then she took a step back. Few times in her life had the doctor witnessed Jean-Luc Picard speechless. Even fewer times had she been the one to render him speechless, as she had just done. As the captain's face failed to compose itself, as his mouth stayed open in a rather non-captain-like manner, Beverly reveled in her triumph. The war had been short, quick, and she had emerged as victor.
Leaving Jean-Luc to his thoughts, and apparent paralysis, the doctor re-took her seat against the outcropping's wall. Only part of the ledge had the overhang, and she'd chosen to sit in the sun, something she rarely got to do on a starship. Lady Q had left another map, this one outlining the way from this particular cave to their final one. By her calculations, they could make it to the next cave by nightfall if they made good time. Of course, if her partner didn't regain the ability to speak or move, they'd never make it anywhere. She resisted glancing over at him. The kiss had been nice, nice enough that she almost forgave him and almost kept her comment to herself.
Almost.
Besides, he'd asked for it.
Now, if they were going to get to the next site, they had to get the Codex out of this cave and get going. And since the Starfleet captain with her had suddenly become useless, she'd just have to do it herself. She folded the map and tucked it into her backpack, snatching up her flashlight at the same time. She'd taken one step toward the cave's entrance when she felt a hand grab her forearm.
"I'll go," Picard said.
"Oh, so you remember how to speak," Beverly said as she turned around to face him. Then she proceeded to ignore the particularly annoyed look her friend was giving her. "I was wondering if you'd permanently gone mute. I think Q would've been quite happy, you know. No more of your long lectures on proper behavior, or conduct becoming a member of the Q-continuum. Come to think of it, I wouldn't have to hear any more of your long-winded lectures about the Prime Dir—"
As she'd talked, the captain had taken her other arm, raised both her arms over her head, and walked her back against the rough rock wall where she'd been sitting. Then he'd completely silenced her by pressing his lips to hers and kissing her thoroughly. More thoroughly, she realized, than she'd done to him before. In fact, it was quickly progressing towards passionate and possibly leading towards things they shouldn't be thinking of doing at the entrance of an ancient Mayan cave. As she kissed him back, Beverly had no objections, as she'd won the war, and now she could even complete goal number two of this little adventure.
At least, those were her thoughts on the matter before Jean-Luc dropped her hands and stepped away.
"As I was saying, I'll go in and get the Codex," he said, as if nothing had just happened.
This time, it was her mouth left agape. However, she managed to regain her ability to speak much faster than the captain had. "What the hell was that?"
He flashed a far too satisfied grin at her. "Getting even." Then he walked through the entrance.
"Fine, you go into that cave of tarantulas all by your lonesome. See if I care." Beverly knew it was a weak retort, but it was all that came to mind. Her irritation at Jean-Luc flared beyond what it'd been before. How could she love that man? How possibly? Yet, even when she admittedly wanted to flay him, she loved him.
Damn him. She hoped a second herd of tarantulas waited for him. A herd of the baby tarantulas' parents.
When the captain strode out of the cave for the second time, looking none the worse for wear, and carrying another Codex, Beverly cursed. Apparently, the baby tarantulas had no parents.
Damn them, too.
"What was that?" Picard asked, opening the volume once he'd gotten into the sunlight. He sounded entirely too cheerful for someone who had supposedly just lost a war.
"Nothing." She refused to look at him as she put her pack back on.
"If you say so." He flipped through a few pages. "I believe this is the Paris Codex."
"I'm surprised you didn't just throw it straight into the trash," she said, giving in and glancing over.
He kept his nose in the book. "Couldn't find a rubbish bin."
She narrowed her eyes. Why did Jean-Luc Picard have to be such a quick learner? Or had he always been like this, holding back retorts like the ones he'd been giving, and holding them back so well that they didn't even appear in his thoughts? Because she certainly hadn't caught any sarcasm of this nature when she could read his mind on Kesprytt.
"Have you got the next leg of our journey planned?" The captain closed the book, and then looked over at her expectantly.
Her face remained inscrutable.
He raised his eyebrows. "What?"
She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of a compliment of his wit. "Nothing. As a matter of fact, I do have the next route ready to go. We should be able to make it by nightfall. Since we haven't had much rest and lunch was so light, we should camp by the cave and find the last Codex in the morning."
Picard rummaged through his pack. "We haven't got any provisions."
"I'm sure those will be taken care of. It isn't like a hero can save the universe on an empty stomach."
"I have," said the captain as he slipped on his pack.
Beverly strode over to the ladder. "I never said you were a hero." She didn't need to see Jean-Luc's face to know the outrage that had appeared on it. "I'll go first. You can follow me."
"I'll bet you'd like that," Picard said in a very low tone Beverly was fairly certain she was not meant to hear.
But she'd heard it and halted only three rungs down the ladder to call him on it. "What do you mean by that?"
A quite pleased expression dancing across his face, Jean-Luc squatted down so he could peek over the ledge and meet Beverly's eyes only a foot away. "Nothing at all, Dr. Appreciative."
Beverly responded by continuing down the ladder. She had not been admiring his rear end, she'd been concentrating on not looking down. And possibly admiring his rear end at the same time. The ladder shook as the captain started his descent a few feet ahead of her. The doctor decided she'd retaliate by admiring Jean-Luc's rear the entire trip down the ladder. On reaching the ground, Beverly dusted off her pants, grabbed the map, checked it, and set off toward the next cave. The hour's march passed in a wordless war, each of them trading off who led them along the trail so that the other could follow. Of course, they weren't fighting for who got to lead anymore—it was for who got to admire.
Admiring only stopped when the sky somewhere above the jungle canopy opened up and unleashed a torrent of rain. Within seconds, both of them were thoroughly soaked, thoroughly tired, and thoroughly cranky. The hike ended in a near-blind bushwhacking through the undergrowth until they managed to find the slight hill to a small clearing and what seemed to be another cave entrance. Closer examination revealed the etching and carving around the opening to the cavern. A three foot overhang kept a small area in front of the entrance protected from the rain.
"We should set up camp in the cave and sleep there," Picard said, setting his pack on the dry ground just outside the door.
The doctor shook her head. "No. Absolutely not."
Picard glared at her as if she were a misbehaving child. "Beverly, I don't know if you've noticed, but it's pouring out. If you want to sleep in the rain just to be contrary—"
"Jean-Luc, not wanting to sleep in the cave has nothing to do with you, aside from your well-being, which I'm definitely beginning to regret caring about. We can't sleep in the cave."
"And just why the hell not?"
"Because inside those caves are assassin bugs." She crossed her arms, getting ready for an argument. Another one. "When we're just in for a quick exploration, they don't pose a real threat. But if we're asleep and completely unawares, they could easily, multiple times, crawl onto us and bite us."
"They're just bugs."
Beverly raised an eyebrow. "And tarantulas are just spiders."
Picard said nothing.
She continued, "An assassin bug's bite can carry Chagas' Disease. Chagas' Disease a human tropical parasitic disease which occurs in the Americas, particularly in South America. Its pathogenic agent is a flagellate protozoan named Trypanosoma cruzi, which is transmitted to humans mostly by blood-sucking assassin bugs of the subfamily Triatominae. The symptoms of Chagas' disease vary over the course of the infection. The early stage symptoms are mild and are usually no more than local swelling at the site of infection. As the disease progresses the serious symptoms appear, such as heart disease and malformation of the intestines. If untreated, the disease is often fatal."
The captain's eyes narrowed. "Was that another brain dump?"
"No. I learned it in medical school. You know, where they teach us about diseases, oh, and fifty ways to kill a human being without leaving a mark. Though, that last one was an elective. But I figured, one never knows when that could come in handy."
Picard held her gaze for a beat before he sighed. "Fine. I'll start a fire. You do... whatever it is you intend to do."
"That sounded like an order."
"Sorry, lapse in memory. Hard to keep that whole sidekick thing straight when I haven't got a cape to remind me." He trudged into the jungle as she glared after his retreating backside.
As her wayward sidekick hunted for dry wood, Beverly found that Lady Q had indeed given them ample provisions as they'd hiked. The captain managed to find some suitable wood and made a fire when he returned. They ate wordlessly, each of them planning their next move in the war between them. When the food was gone, each set about searching their packs in the hope of finding a tent or sleeping bag or both. Beverly came up triumphantly with a sleeping bag, though still lacking in a tent. The captain found neither.
"Too bad you were mean to me, or I might have shared," Beverly said, unable to keep the glee from her voice.
Picard scowled at her. "Had it crossed your mind that you might have been mean to me first?"
The doctor unrolled her sleeping bag. "No."
He did a double-take. "No?"
"I wanted you to know that I protested your posting to the Enterprise," Beverly said, attempting to make her voice sound as serious as Jean-Luc's had been those seven years ago.
The captain's scowl grew deeper. Deep enough that Beverly couldn't tell if he was truly indignant or only mock indignant. "You aren't still holding that against me, are you? It's been seven years, and if I should have been trying harder to make it up to you in all those years, you could have at least told me." He began to pace the small area under the overhang.
Banking on mock indignance, Beverly smiled. "No, I don't still hold it against you."
The captain spun around on one foot and looked at Beverly incredulously. "Then why did you bring it up?"
She shrugged. "I had to come up with something."
Picard threw his hands up in the air in complete exasperation as he turned to face the jungle. "Women!" Then he turned back around. "No, no. Not women in general. Just... just... just you!"
"You really didn't want to share my sleeping bag, did you?"
The captain's mouth moved, but no words came out. For the second time that day, the captain of the Enterprise was completely gobsmacked.
Beverly smiled innocently.
Then her sleeping bag disappeared from her hands.
Picard started laughing. "Oh, that was wonderful!" he said. "The look on your face was fantastic! Serves you right, I think, after rubbing it in my face that I hadn't gotten one. And that you weren't sharing."
Two sleeping bags winked into existence just outside the dry overhang. Both the captain and the doctor bolted and rescued them from the rain. As they carried the bags underneath the ledge, two sets of dry clothing appeared outside the cavern entrance. Beverly set her bag next to her backpack before picking up her set of clothing. "I get to change first."
Jean-Luc made a show of surveying the area around them. "And where do you propose you change? It certainly can't be the cave. Wouldn't want your lovely rear getting bitten by an assassin bug. Or mine for that matter."
She couldn't argue with that, on either point. "Well, you could be a gentleman and turn the other way. And promise not to peek."
He smirked. "Only if you agree to be a lady and do the same for me."
"Are you implying that I'm not a lady?"
Picard said nothing, merely raised his eyebrows.
Beverly held up a hand. "Nevermind. Don't answer that."
His reply was to turn around and sit down.
The doctor quickly swapped wet clothing for dry. It felt positively luxurious. Since she hadn't detected any untoward behavior from Jean-Luc, she decided to be a proper lady and didn't peek while her friend changed. They spread their sleeping bags on opposite sides of the fire. Just as each of them went to climb in, the bags disappeared.
They both glared up at the sky, and said in concert, "Very funny."
Yet no replacement bags appeared.
But the rain stopped.
Resigned to a night without the comforts of even a blanket, or comforts of any sort, each of them sighed and sat back down where their sleeping bag had formerly been. They studied one another across the crackling fire. The flames were all that was left to them for the night. They said nothing and after a few moments, each of them lay down, contemplating the rock ceiling above, or imagining the stars beyond.
Beverly's mind quickly drifted from the rock to imagining the starry sky above it to the night she'd shared with Jean-Luc on Kesprytt. Or hadn't shared, as it had turned out. What she couldn't figure out was what had stopped them from sharing anything more than thoughts. Both of them felt the same about one another—ranging from pure annoyance to actual love—and neither one of them were opposed to a relationship. But something stopped them, whatever it was. If she bothered to try forging something tonight, would they hit another stone wall? She groaned at her inadvertent joke. If her brain didn't shut up, she wouldn't get any sleep and she wouldn't be getting any of anything else.
"You can't sleep either?" Jean-Luc asked from the other side of the fire.
She sighed. "No."
"We have flashlights, you know. And in a cave, night doesn't exactly apply. We could just finish our little adventure now."
Beverly stood up and grabbed her backpack. "What do you say, Jean-Luc? Shall we go and save the universe?"
He gave her a half-smile. "I suppose I could be convinced."
She mouthed 'sidekick' at him.
"Or commanded." He swept his hand toward the opening. "Lead on."
Once they had stepped inside the cavern, the opening that they'd walked through changed into a solid rock wall. Beverly mentally rolled her eyes. Stone wall. "I can take a hint," she said out loud.
"I think we're beyond hinting," the captain replied.
She'd like to be beyond hinting, way beyond, in fact, but whoever held their fates didn't seem to be in a particularly generous mood. Gritting her teeth, she moved through the next cave wall opening and took in the room beyond. The walls glittered with quartz from floor to a ceiling their flashlights barely illuminated. Two slate stelae stood guard on opposite sides of the cave, while a clear pool bisected the room.
Picard whispered, "Magnificent," and moved forward to inspect the stelae.
Beverly smiled to herself at her friend's wonder of ancient history. Then she walked over to the pool and squinted into it. She could see to the pebble-lined bottom. Already, she could feel cold air wafting from the pool's surface. After glancing around the area, she realized there was no way to the other side except for crossing through the pool itself. "Dammit. We have to go swimming."
"What?" The captain strode over to where Beverly knelt in front of the pool. "We only just dried off. There has to be another way. Have you even bothered to look?"
Picard's accusatory tone served as the final step to igniting her temper once again. The war was back on. Again. "What, is a little water going to hurt you?"
"I rather like the idea of warm, dry clothing."
She stood up. "Carry your pack on your head and you can change into another set of dry clothing once we reach the other side. Didn't you learn anything in captain school? Or will it hurt your hairless scalp to carry a pack on it?"
He glared at her. He glared at her some more. And then he did just as she'd suggested, complete with dignity and aplomb.
Beverly waded in after him, barely holding in a gasp as she hit the cold water. How could he not have made a sound? She knew his parts were more sensitive to temperature changes than hers. How dare he appear so dignified. She dropped her pack into the water—where, oddly enough, it stayed afloat—not that she cared. Then she leapt forward and plunged her friend completely under the chilly water.
When he got back to the surface, he was gasping. And not, she thought smugly, due to lack of air.
His gasping stopped.
She didn't take note of the expression on Jean-Luc's face until it was too late. Before it registered in her mind, Picard had already wrestled her below the surface. Floating in the cold, clear water, with her friend so very close, Beverly decided.
Oh, the hell with it.
When she gained the upper hand, instead of pushing Jean-Luc back under the water, she pulled him toward her.
He got the hint.
For, as he'd said minutes before, they were beyond hinting. Hands roamed freely, lips met and met again. Beverly couldn't think of a single reason why they hadn't tried this long before.
"We have to find the last Codex," Picard said in between kisses.
"I don't care," she replied as she unbuttoned his shirt.
"Beverly, we have to save the universe." Though, he didn't sound particularly convinced that it had to be saved right at that moment.
She began to divest him of his trousers. "Jean-Luc, I don't care."
A flash of light, and they were on the opposite side of the pool, fully clad in wetsuits. Wisps of smoke spelled out, "I care," in front of them.
Beverly kicked her backpack. "Damn it. Someone is stopping us."
"Perhaps they're just rerouting us for the time being."
She glared at him, as he was an easy target for her frustration, though not the cause. This time. "Do you always have to be so optimistic?"
"Someone has to counter your remarkable pessimism. The depth of it is rather shocking considering that you're a physician." The captain then proceeded to put his pack in the dry bag that had been conveniently placed next to it.
Beverly made an incoherent sound venting both anger and her rapidly escalating frustration. She roughly opened up the map, and then grabbed her pack. The dry bag that had been next to it—which she'd ignored—appeared around it. The map, which she hadn't bothered to put away, also remained quite dry. "Let's go, Picard," she yelled.
"No need to shout," came the reply from right behind her.
She whirled around, willing every spark of anger to appear in her eyes.
"I mean, yes ma'am," Picard quickly corrected himself.
"Good."
For the first time in the entire adventure, the captain chose wisely... and remained silent.
They worked their through way through the caverns, climbing over large rocks, through tight passages, and often in waist-deep water. The deeper into the cave system they went, the more artifacts they came across. Bones became more common, as did stelae, though none as large as they'd found at the entrance. After over an hour of spelunking through the Cave of Cold Water, as Beverly had named it, they emerged into a cavern twice as large as the first. They were also able to finally exit the water.
Beverly wondered if the entire walk had been Lady Q's version of a cold shower.
She was willing to put money on it that it was.
Bitch.
Shoving aside her anger for the time being, she took stock of her surroundings. The cavern was wide open, the lights from their flashlights engulfed by darkness before it could reach the ceiling far above. It was practically a cathedral of stone. Stalagmites and stalactites formed teeth at the far end of the cavern. In the middle of the rows of teeth stood a calcite-covered skeleton.
The skeleton clutched an ancient volume.
Lady Q appeared and plucked the last Codex from the skeleton's hand. She opened the book and read, "December 21, 2012 is also the Winter Solstice, and will provide us with a view that will not be seen again in any of our lifetimes. The Sun will conjunct the intersection of the Milky Way in the ecliptic, giving us view of the Sacred Tree, giving us view of the Tree of Life." Lady Q's eyes lit up. "Ah! I see what they did. Someone confused with flipped magnetic poles prophesy with the position of the Great Rift in the sky!"
"It's a clarification?" Picard asked.
Lady Q snapped the Codex shut. "Yes. You're bright for a sidekick. You should have a cape."
A billowing purple cape appeared around Jean-Luc's shoulders.
Beverly forced herself to ignore Jean-Luc in a cape, though it proved a very difficult task. "A clarification stops the universe from ending?"
"No, not really. But it does save the doomsayers from the embarrassment of having nothing to do after their doomsday passes them right by as they sit on their hill."
Picard, to Beverly's surprise, remained quiet.
The doctor regarded Lady Q suspiciously (as, she was sure, Jean-Luc would point out that it was how she should have regarded Lady Q in the first place). "Then just what was the point of making us find that Codex?"
"Oh, I was somewhat miffed that one of their works about us had been lost," Lady Q replied with a toss of her hand.
Beverly crossed her arms. "Works about you?"
"Well, the Mayans did believe that the entrance to Xibalba is in the Great Rift. Just where do you think the Continuum is?"
"Up your—"
"Not there, my dear." Lady Q extended her hand. "I'm also known as Ixtab. Nice to meet you."
"The goddess of suicide? That's heartening."
Lady Q grinned. "Now that's the spirit! I love how optimistic you are, Doctor."
Picard finally brought himself to speak. "So you're saying that the Mayans were wrong?"
Lady Q shrugged. "Mortals generally are. The universe, in the long run, has a history of pretty much not ending."
A familiar voice resonated throughout the cavern. "Only because I insist on making Jean-Luc keep it that way."
"Q!" Picard yelled.
A flash of light and the Q in question appeared in front of the captain. "No need to shout, mon capitaine." Q then winked at Beverly.
She ignored him.
Lady Q didn't. "Only I insisted on Beverly keeping it that way this time." She smirked at Q. "I have no idea how you find her so irritating. She's been nothing but perfectly pleasant with me."
Beverly turned to Picard. "He finds me irritating?"
Q opened his mouth to reply for the captain, but Lady Q stopped him. "I think it's time for us to leave, Q."
"What for? I haven't even explained about turning her into a—"
Lady Q covered Q's mouth with her hand. "My dear, you want to die?"
"She can't kill me, I'm immortal," Q replied, remarkably clearly, considering Lady Q hadn't removed her hand.
"All I'd have to do would be to tell her that you're the one who's been stopping them all this time."
Beverly rounded on Q faster than any of them—even the two omniscient beings—thought possible. "You!"
Q's eyes opened wide.
And then he disappeared in his trademark flash of light.
"Bring him back," the doctor said.
"I would," said Lady Q, "but I truly don't want him dead, no matter how often I contemplate murdering him. You know how it goes, my dear. You're the same with your Jean-Luc, there. Oh! Speaking of. I'm putting a stop to Q putting a stop to you two. I've also taken the measure of removing all sorts of bugs from this pretty cavern. And arachnids as well, Jean-Luc, so don't you worry about that. You've supplies for the night, including one extra-large sleeping bag, and even an air mattress. Also, there's another pool behind you, and this one isn't quite so cold. You'll return to your ship in the morning, none the worse for wear. And no one will be stopping you this time." Lady Q winked. "You kids have fun."
And she was gone.
The hell with it.
Beverly took Jean-Luc by the hand and yanked him toward the newly-formed pool. After shaking away his astonishment, he willingly followed. After she pointedly removed her former sidekick's billowing purple cape, Beverly finally accomplished goal number two.
Somehow, it felt more satisfying than saving the universe.