The confrontation

Ziva thought Tony was acting weird on the phone, he was very curt, nothing like Tony at all. Since McGee was the one who drove them back, he still didn't like the way Ziva drove any kind of vehicle, she could grab some sleep on the way back. She didn't sleep all too well lately, every now and then the dreams or better yet the nightmares would come back to haunt her. When she and McGee got of the elevator and rounded the corner she saw a strange man sitting at her desk. She knew him, but couldn't quit place him just jet, but then all a sudden it her. She dropped all her stuff and walked over to the man "Hamza, it's you isn't it" Ziva switched to Hebrew straight away. Hamza stood up and just held her, his hands moved all over her body, compensating the lack of sight with his bare hands. "you're hair, you've got long hair, and now at least I can feel some meat on your bones, and you smell a whole lot better"

Ziva smiled "well I get fed a whole lot better now and I do have a shower in my apartment" She turned around and started to introduce Hamza to the rest of the team, but Hamza interjected saying they already met when he was brought up here by Gibbs. "you didn't tell them, did you" Ziva wasn't looking forward to the questions that would be asked, she never liked to explain any of the things that happened to her over there, because they couldn't image it, any of it. The only one who would understand was Hamza.

Hamza felt her getting tense "I am sorry I did a little" Ziva sighed, she knew what was going to come next, she wasn't ready for it.

Hamza told her he was going to be occupied the entire afternoon, but he would love to have dinner with her that evening. While Ziva escorted him downstairs to the already waiting taxi she dreaded the rest of the day but she just couldn't see any way out of it. The questions would come, why, how, what, who, when oh god she just couldn't deal with that, but she had to do it, she had to face it. She took a deep breath and stepped out of the elevator, when she got back to her cubicle she saw Jenny standing there "Can I talk to you in my office" Both woman went upstairs into Jenny's office.

Jenny closed the door behind Ziva carefully. "Why didn't you tell me"

"tell you what" Ziva looked confused, what was she talking about.

"That you were caught saving me, why didn't you get into the helicopter with me when they picked me up at the rendezvous point, the one you arranged because I got wounded"

Ziva looked at Jenny in horror, "who told you this…………Hamza……….I don't wish to discuss this"

Ziva stood up from the chair she was in and started walking towards the door.

"I have a right to know, Ziva"

"You a have right" Ziva turned around "you have a right to know" Ziva was yelling by now. "You don't have any right, leave it alone, I don't want to talk about it"

Ziva slammed the door shut, but Jenny wasn't about to just let her go. "Officer David, come back"

"Oh, no Jenny this isn't a conversation between Officer David and Director Sheppard, this is a conversation between former partners Ziva and Jenny and I have decided not to talk to you, so don't turn director on me now"

Everyone in the office was listening in on their very loud conversation. "why don't you talk to me"

"Why should I, should I tell you that I died in there, that I wanted to die but my body just refused to let me, that I stole food from a dying man so I could live for yet another day in that hellhole or should I tell you about those brave marines who left me standing there because they were not authorized to take a foreign agent out of country who was sympathetic to the United States, yeah let's sit down and discuss the different ways that they tortured me, that would be a real pleasant conversation"

Ziva stormed down the stairs, grabbed her backpack and left. She stood in the elevator, hitting the button for the ground floor, with Gibbs barely managing to get into the elevator before it closed the doors. Ziva fell to her knees and buried her head into her hands. Gibbs stopped the elevator, like he always did when he felt the need to. "Take the rest of the day of, but remember you've going to do something about this because it's not going to go away, she wants to know, Ziva"

"don't you think I know that, but what I want and what she needs from me are two different things, I cannot tell her about what I went through because I want, no I need to pretend like I never had those things done to me, I want to live in denial because that is how I get by, but some people just will not let go, and she is one of those people"

Gibbs knew, he knew the pain of something so big you just couldn't share it, because that would mean facing up to it, dealing with it and that was just too much to live with. "I'll talk to her"

Ziva slowly got up again, looking at Gibbs. He noticed she looked immensely tired and sad, but also he could tell she was relieved that it finally had gotten out in the open.

"No,………….yes…….just tell her I didn't mean to yell at her like that. I'll talk to her, but not now, I'll choose when and where and even if I want to talk, but right now I just want to go to sleep. Tell her she doesn't want to push it, cause if she does I'll leave" Gibbs nodded his head, "I'll make sure she knows the ball is in your court" Ziva wasn't sure what to say, ball in her court, what the hell does he mean by that. Gibbs saw the confusion on her face. "what I mean to say, I'll let her know it's up to you if and when you want to talk" Ziva left for the day, and when Gibbs returned to the bullpen he went straight to Jen's office, naturally he didn't knock but walked straight in. "we need to talk"

Gibbs sat down and chose his words carefully something he rarely did "the one thing you don't need to do is push her in telling you about her capture, you need to let her choose the time and place, but if you push the subject you'll lose her as agent but most of all you'll lose her as a good friend"

Jenny nodded, "I know, I have to let her be in control, I know…."Gibbs raised his hands, "no Jen, that's the problem, you don't know."

TBC……