The End is Heaven
by Myka
Part 06 – 'deception'
Pairings: Sirius/Remus, Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny
Spoilers: Books 1-7
Genre: AU, drama, romance, angst
Summary: Remus Lupin survives the Second War and is left to raise Teddy alone.
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Harry was not the least bit deterred after knowing that they needed Remus to be present for the spell. Even after Hermione had told him this, his determination to move forward and try the spell that very same night didn't change. He told everyone that they were moving forward; that they were meeting that night near the Whomping Willow, and that they were doing the spell that night no matter what.
Harry assured the others that he would get Remus to Hogwarts. He knew he could do it; he would just have to be a little deceptive. Even if no one knew where Remus was right now, at least Harry knew he was somewhere because whenever Harry sent a letter to Remus the letters never returned and the owls never gave letters to anyone except their intended recipients. Which meant Remus was somewhere accepting them, but not responding to them. Those letters were the key to bringing Remus from hiding. Ever since that fateful day with Andromeda Harry had taken it upon himself to relay, and paraphrase, the letters Andromeda sent to Harry and his friends about Teddy. Like when Teddy caught his first chocolate frog, and when he first changed eye color. Harry was keeping Remus informed even if Remus hadn't asked to be. He wanted Remus know how Teddy was doing, even though Harry tended to skip the not-so-good news. Like how Teddy has kept his father's brown hair since they parted, and how he would cry, often for hours, no matter what Andromeda did.
So it wasn't hard for Harry to write a letter that said something was wrong with Teddy. A letter that Remus would have no reason to disbelieve. A letter that was sure to force Remus to come out of hiding and seek out Harry for more information. Harry was sure Remus would come, like Harry had requested, after dark, near the Whomping Willow.
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Everything was ready.
The moon shone brightly, three quarters full, just days from the full moon. It offered more than enough light to see. Hermione marked a large circle with the pixie powder she had procured from Slughorn that represented the area where; theoretically; Tonks should appear. She then marked smaller circles around the lines of the bigger circle where she would have to place the other items needed for the spell. Ron and Ginny helped her without asking too many questions, removing broken branches and other debris that didn't belong in the circle.
Now they could only wait. Everything now hinged on whether Remus showed up or not.
Harry remained close to the tree, watching, waiting. Ginny tried twice to approach him and strike a conversation, but it proved rather pointless since Harry would just take her hand and stare at the tree more intently.
"Harry?" she asked softly, trying again. "You do know that Remus'–" she bit her lip, "that Remus' situation is not your fault right?"
He looked at her then, slightly perplexed by the question. "Of course I do," he said.
"You don't blame yourself do you?" she asked more earnestly.
Harry hesitated and looked at his shoes. "Maybe. Just a little. "
Ginny frowned as she looked at Harry's face, but didn't say anything else because she knew, that on a reasonable level, Harry did understand that the war and all those deaths weren't his fault. It was the stubborn and subconscious part of him that refused to let go of the sense of responsibility he felt for Remus.
Harry suddenly took a sharp breath that made Ginny look forward. The hand holding hers quickly let go as Harry ran towards the Whomping Willow.
"Remus!" Harry called as the clear shape of a man appeared from underneath the tree. Harry came to a sudden stop when he got close enough to see Remus, his eyes widening. "Remus?" Harry asked carefully. Remus met his eyes and shock hit Harry squarely in the chest. Remus looked horribly pale and gaunt.
Remus approached Harry with fast steps, his face twisted with fear and anxiety. He grabbed Harry's shoulders tightly when he reached him. "What happened to Teddy?" he asked abruptly his voice threatening to crack in his panic.
"He's," Harry tried to say and couldn't force the lie out. He had done this. Remus looked like he was about to die from worry. This, for once was really his fault. "I'm so sorry, Remus," he said earnestly, "Teddy is fine. Nothing happened to him."
"But you said-" Remus started. Then comprehension dawned on his face. He understood. "You lied." It wasn't a question.
"I'm sorry," Harry repeated, a lump forming in his throat.
"I'm leaving," Remus said sharply, his hands letting go of Harry's shoulders and started to turn.
"No!' Harry yelled reaching a hand towards him. "Please, Remus!" Harry felt suddenly desperate. "We are bringing Tonks back for you! Don't leave!"
Remus stopped and slowly, very slowly, turned around to look at Harry. "You what?"
The plan spilled, unbidden, from Harry's lips, word after word of everything they had kept secret until know. When he had finished he could do nothing but stare at Remus and wait for his reaction.
Remus was very still for what felt like hours. Then, slowly, he began shaking. Harry thought Remus might be crying, but he quickly realized he was mistaken. The older man clenched his hands into fists as his eyebrows knitted together and his eyes darkened.
"I-" Remus stopped, tried again and failed. He put a hand to his forehead and closed his eyes, trying to control his boiling emotions. "Harry," he finally managed to say. "I don't know what made you think what you just told me is appropriate or alright." He glanced around and saw the circle. "I cannot believe you – all of you - thought it was alright!"
"But-" Harry tried to defend himself and the others.
"No." Remus cut him off. "There will be no discussion about this, Harry. You will return everything you took, clean the mess you made and forget this ever happened."
"We are just trying to make it better!" Harry yelled in frustration, refusing to give up. "You deserve to be happy, Remus. It just hurts so much when I think about you and what you must be going through that I had to do something."
"I'm perfectly fine, Harry," Remus said in a lifeless tone, running a hand over his eyes again.
"That's a lie! Just look at you! Remus, you say you are fine but your appearance says something else and I'm afraid," Harry swallowed hard and forced himself to say it, "I'm afraid you might hurt yourself. Kill yourself."
Remus looked at Harry sternly for a few seconds then closed his eyes, suddenly looking exhausted. "I do wish – no – I do believe I would be better off dead. Almost every day I wake up and just don't understand why I'm still breathing. But that doesn't change the fact that I am. And I would never think of killing myself."
"That doesn't matter, Remus!" Harry shook his head. "Just look at you! They way things are now you won't last the year! You're dying."
Remus looked startled for a second. Not so much surprised by the words, but more that once he heard them aloud they confirmed something he already knew. It was true. Every word. He went through the motions of every day, eating when hungry, sleeping when tired. Everything was the same everyday, except himself. He saw the lines of his faces grow more defined, the gray in his hair multiplying. He felt weaker and weaker after each full moon. A year Harry had said. It was possibly less than that. "Then I will welcome it when the time comes," he said to Harry in a low rumbling tone and turned to leave.
"No," Harry whispered almost to himself. Remus ignored him. Then out of nowhere Harry suddenly had his wand between his fingers, pointing it at Remus' back. Harry called Remus' name and Remus turned slowly, his eyes going wide when he saw the wand. His mouth opened but no words came out, red sparks burst from Harry's wand, the spell spoken. Remus landed with a loud thud a few feet away from the tree, unconscious.
Someone screamed and it took Harry a few seconds to realize it was Hermione. He remembered that he and Remus weren't the only ones there and suddenly was overwhelmed by the other's presence.
"What have you done, Harry?" Hermione shriek as she looked between Harry and Remus.
"You stunned him." Ron said sounding more amused than surprised.
Ginny was already by Remus's side checking on him. "He's breathing fine," she said. "He's completely out cold though."
"Just do it," Harry suddenly said to Hermione. "The spell. We need to do it before he wakes up!"
"Harry, surely you don't think it's appropriate to force the spell on him," Hermione said almost horrified by the idea.
"Yes I do. I'm not watching him die!"
Commotion ensued. Hermione's protests continued while Ron and Ginny helped Harry move Remus to the circle. Eventually Hermione realized she was fighting a loosing battle and that they would do the spell with or without her help and it would be a much better idea if it was with her help.
"Wait," she ordered just before they put Remus inside the circle. "I need to take some blood." Hermione half ran to where the items for the spell laid and grabbed a small wooden cup and the unicorn blade. She approached Remus slowly and said a soft, "I'm sorry," before she pressed the blade against the side of his arm, collecting the blood that fell until the cup was full.
"What do you need that for?" Ron asked.
"We can't expect to get something without giving something in return," Hermione answered.
They laid Remus on the left side of the circle carefully and stepped away. Hermione didn't waste any time and poured the blood from the wooden cup beside Remus. She then quickly collected the items and, one by one, placed them where they belonged around the circle at the same time as she chanted the spell.
"Discerning fate – a broken heart – lost love – lost faith – to return – to heal – soul – grief – return to him where his happiness is."
There was a sudden bright flare of light that forced everyone to shut their eyes. A loud roar crashed against their ears. Louder and louder until… BANG. The light disappeared and the quiet night returned. There was something like mist rising from the circle that made it impossible to see.
Harry rushed forward, calling Remus' name in a panic. He tried to swipe away the thick mist, coughing as it got into his lungs. He could see shadows through it. A body on the side where the blood had been spilled.
Harry suddenly realized that they had done it. They had succeeded.
But as the mist cleared the body became more defined. Broad shoulders and dark hair and clearly not female.
Harry blinked, realizing who it was but unable to believe it.
It was Sirius Black.