Janitor/Mop:
"Turk, you will NEVER guess who the Janitor's so called girlfriend is. I saw him with her in the hallway last night," JD said as he sat down in front of Turk in the cafeteria early in the morning, a goofy grin on his face.
"...Don't tell me it's Laverne." Turk dropped the muffin he'd been holding, suddenly losing his appetite.
"Nope."
"...BEARDFACE?!"
"No, Turk, that's a man, remember. We checked. No bearded lady."
"Oh, true. Who is it, then?"
"It's his MOP!" JD said, smacking his hand loudly on the table before sitting back and laughing. "He was dancing with it and everything!"
Turk, however, wasn't laughing. He was staring wide-eyed at the Janitor, standing a little ways away behind JD, who was miming breaking a neck with his sponge.