DM: Well I'm back with more for you! Thank you all so much for your reviews—you made me so happy!

Disclaimer: I don't own OHSHC.

Operation Revenge

Chapter Two

The Queen

I continued to search around the virtual Host Club for Haruhi, but failed. I sighed, resigned to my status as a "Haruhi-esque" character. My designations were all thoroughly entranced by everything I said, which wasn't very much, really.

I vaguely wondered what I looked like. The great Kyouya as a girl was an idea that I was starting to find intriguing. I won't lie—it actually gave me a smug sort of satisfaction that I was fooling these girls.

At last, my third designation pulled out a mirror to reapply lip gloss, an obvious attempt to draw my attention to her lips.

"Oh, your lips look so luscious today, my sweet," I said, throwing her off guard with my very Tamaki-like phrase. In fact, I sounded so much like Tamaki I felt my heart throb a little. Really, had I sunk so low?

Regardless of my humiliation, the girl (a rather overweight one at that) loved the attention. She puckered her lips and whispered a soft "thanks," her hands reaching across the table for mine.

I took them, bringing the hand holding the mirror up to my face. At last I was able to see what I looked like—

"Oh my," I said softly. The girl blushed a deep crimson, believing that I was talking about her.

My reflection was the strangest thing I'd ever seen. I looked like a slightly more masculine version of my sister, Fuyumi. I didn't have glasses on but I could see perfectly. It was a strange feeling.

I muttered some barely comprehensible praises of her beauty before excusing myself, leaving her sighing happily and staring at my back.

I was a lot shorter than I was in the real world, but just as slender. The entire thing felt so surreal.

I suppose I'll have to admit that I could have possibly been in a daze. However, since I am Ootori Kyouya, I highly doubt that was the case.

Regardless, I bumped into something tall on my way to the restroom, causing me to nearly fall. A hand caught me around the waist. I had closed my eyes in preparation for the impact and therefore did not know the identity of the asshole who had gotten in my way.

"Sorry," I muttered, opening one eye slowly. I realized who it was and both my eyes snapped open and widened.

Haruhi was holding me in her—his—arms. I became dimly aware of chattering throughout the rest of the Host Club, but decided to worry about it later.

"Haruhi?" I asked, wondering how on earth she had become so tall.

He (it's strange, but I suppose that is correct) set me down on my feet, smirking. The girls in the club whispered excitedly as I looked him up and down.

Haruhi looked very different from when we'd first played the game. Now he was at least 180 centimeters tall, with broader shoulders. His face was less feminine, and he wore glasses. I then noticed that he was holding a notebook and pen. My upper lip curled in anger.

"You've usurped my position!" I whispered harshly, feeling rage boil up from my stomach. He let out a low chuckle.

"This is my game now," he replied calmly, "And my revenge."

He turned back to his work as I stood there in shock. Not ready to give up until I'd had the last word, I opened my mouth and took a step towards the taller teen.

"Why you—" I began, but was interrupted by a hand covering my mouth. A large, pale hand. I looked up to see Tamaki bending over my head, smiling his typical idiotic goofball smile.

"Now, now, Kyouya, Haruhi is busy today so let's just let him work," he said, his thumb caressing my cheek in a fond manner.

I felt a strange throbbing sensation in my body by his proximity. Tentatively, I reached out with my tongue and licked his palm. I still don't really understand why, even now as I write about it.

The look in his eyes shifted (he was surprisingly realistic for a virtually animated character) from one of patronization to one of desire. Or I could have imagined it. Whatever.

He removed his hand, my face now feeling cold where he had held it, and went back to his seat.

However, our eyes kept meeting throughout the rest of club activities in a way that made me both excited and uneasy.

It also made me sure that Haruhi and possibly Hikaru had upped my libido while hooking me up to the game. The bastards.

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Yoohoo! It's Renge again! I'm so happy to see you all again!

Anyway, sorry to bother you while you're reading, but I forgot to tell you something last time.

You see, while we were testing UkiDoki Memorial 3 with Haruhi, Kyouya had used the multiplayer mode to mess things up a little.

And by mess things up I mean he got Haruhi drunk and had a homo homo threesome with her and Tamaki. I'm getting a nosebleed just thinking about it. So moe!

I just thought you guys should know that before the story continues.

Oh yea, now that I think about it, I don't think anyone except me, Kyouya and Haruhi knows that it happened. I think they both decided to keep it quiet since it's a little bit of a sensitive issue, what with Hikaru and all.

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The aforementioned Hikaru was, at that time, with his brother as the two set about initiating phase three of Operation: Revenge, as Haruhi liked to call it.

Phase one was breaking into and entering the Ootori compound. Phase two was hooking up Kyouya to the game and arranging his settings.

Phase three was making sure that every member of the Ootori defense force was blackmailed sufficiently so that Kyouya could play through as much of the game as possible. That way, no one would interrupt him and Haruhi could at last exact her revenge.

Blackmailing the staff was the twins' job, and they were very good at it. While their victims were knocked unconscious (thanks to Hunny and Mori) they merely had to dress them up in some lovely female haute couture gowns from their mother's first fashion show. Note that their mother debuted in 1985.

After the men were sufficiently dressed and "prettied up," photos were to be taken, developed, and placed in their hands with a note saying "We have the negatives. Let Kyouya be."

Hikaru felt a proud smile come to his lips. His Haruhi had thought of such an evil plan—it amazed him, really. Kaoru ignored his brother's daydreaming as he added some lip gloss to a particularly fierce-looking bearded man.

Hikaru gave a sigh as he shoved another guard into a blue one-shoulder dress with a single enormous sleeve. His twin felt his eyebrow twitch in irritation. He wasn't really the jealous type, per se, but the fact that his brother and Haruhi had gotten together so quickly was strange to him. She had been so cold towards him before, but after two days of playing a game she was suddenly in love? He didn't like it.

"Hey, Hikaru," Kaoru began. The other was humming as he rouged a young man's cheeks excessively. It was not until a few moments later that he stopped and said,

"Did you say something, Kaoru?"

Kaoru gave an impatient groan and stared at his twin with more than a little frustration.

"Why is Haruhi so dead set against Kyouya?" he asked, searching his brother's face for a reaction. The older twin rolled his eyes.

"I told you already, Kaoru, she's made because he—"

"—used her as a lab rat and toyed with her emotions. Right," Kaoru interrupted, "But isn't it because of him that she realized she liked you in the first place?" He watched as Hikaru thought about it.

"But Haruhi said she would have realized eventually, it's just that he sped up the process—" he reasoned. Kaoru cut him off again:

"—Then why is she so mad at him? I think she owes him a debt of gratitude or something." He finished rather loudly, feeling a little angry that Haruhi was keeping them all in the dark about something.

"What are you trying to say, Kaoru?" Hikaru asked, arching an eyebrow at his younger brother. Kaoru sighed and shrugged.

"Nothing. It just seems like we don't know the whole story of what happened in that game," he said lamely. With that, he turned away, his face a calm façade.

However, as soon as Hikaru had turned back to his work, Kaoru broke a tube of lipstick as he applied it rather fiercely to Kyouya's bodyguard's lips.

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When the task was complete, the twins headed up to Kyouya's room to find Haruhi playing using multiplayer mode. There was a kitchen timer next to her that rang as Hikaru stepped closer to her.

The timer was so that they could each take turns participating in the game. That way, Kyouya wouldn't know where the attack was coming from.

Hikaru shook her awake as Kaoru disconnected her. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, still bleary from her slumber. It was now close to dawn. Thankfully, it was a Saturday. They would let Kyouya play until Sunday and then rip him back into reality.

The great thing about the game was its time ratio. Twenty-four hours in the real world coincided with a month in UkiDoki world. That would be plenty of time for Kyouya to get royally screwed up, Haruhi decided.

Just getting his period once would be enough to scar him for life, she thought, smirking evilly.

"Hey, can I play now?" Kaoru asked. The truth was, he was very curious about how this game worked and had been wanting to try for a while now.

The next thing he knew Haruhi had pressed chloroform to his face and he was out.

Hikaru gave her a surprised look but hooked him up nonetheless. She reached out and grabbed his arm when he was finished.

"Sorry, but I missed you. It was really hard convincing myself that the Hikaru in there isn't the one right here," she said, by way of explanation of her rough handling of the younger Hiitachin.

Hikaru felt something inside him turn to goo as he looked at her. Her hair was slightly tousled from her position and her nose was a little red.

Without thinking, he leaned in and kissed it, just at the tip. She drew back a little in surprise, but then kissed his nose in return.

"Haruhi," Hikaru said softly, reaching across so that they were embracing over Kaoru's sleeping form, "I love you."

Haruhi felt a scarlet blush creep across her cheeks and tried not to look away. His golden eyes were so intense it was almost scary.

"I love you too," she whispered, wondering when her heart had begun to pound this way. They'd been going out for a month now, but it had never been like this.

He leaned in and closed the gap between his mouth and hers, tilting her head back and burying his hands in her hair. Haruhi closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation, until she felt something wet against her lips.

His tongue was pressing against her mouth, begging for access. Hesitating only slightly, Haruhi opened her mouth and obliged him.

Before she knew it, his tongue was sweeping across hers, giving her a swooping sensation in her stomach and causing her heart to throb almost painfully. She pressed back and their tongues clashed together in a hot, wet kiss.

However, people do need to breath from time to time and the lovers pulled back eventually, each panting a little.

Hikaru looked down. Haruhi followed his gaze. They had been making out directly over a sleeping Kaoru, who now looked thoroughly engaged in the game.

"Maybe we should go," Haruhi began slowly. She got up, desperately trying to hide the weakness in her knees, and walked out of the room.

Hikaru got up to follow her, but gave one last look at his brother.

"It just seems like we don't know the whole story of what happened in that game."

Hikaru shook his head. Haruhi wouldn't hide anything from him.

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I noticed instantly when Haruhi left the game because her character flickered a bit. Then Kaoru's flickered to indicate his entrance.

By the way, yes I can tell the difference between the twins. Don't ask me how or why, but I can. Kaoru is less of an idiot, so I suppose my stupidity sensor is the reason.

Anyway, it was already my second day of the game (I discovered the night before that I was poor and lived in an apartment alone) and we were cleaning up after a long day of hosting. The sexual tension between me and Tamaki was rapidly increasing and paying attention in class was getting rather difficult.

Just for your information, I was a second year with Tamaki in the game. Haruhi, all though she pretended to be my replacement, had at least left me that.

I attributed the perverse thoughts that kept coming to mind to the sex drive control, which I cursed myself for not removing before giving to Renge. That had been my own idea, just to get the apathetic heroine to care about something for a change. If I hadn't added it, she probably would have continued just the same and never done anything entertaining.

It was all Tamaki's fault, I decided. He had knocked me out, the bumbling idiot that he was, and so I was trapped in this stupid game world in which I was forced to be a woman.

Out of spite, I stuck my leg out and tripped him as he walked by. He fell with a loud thud and then got up, laughing and thinking he'd tripped over nothing. I barely hid a smirk.

"Hey, Kyouya," Kaoru called, unaware that I knew exactly who he was, "can you go get me some pocky? I left it in the back room."

I was about to say "Go get it yourself, rich bastard" in true Haruhi-fashion, but Tamaki interrupted me.

"Here, Kyouya, I'll get it," he said. Then he turned to the twins, "Kyouya's not your slave just because she's a commoner," he announced in a shockingly serious tone.

I watched him go and the part of me that was ridiculous decided to go with him. I followed him into the back room, only to hear the door shut and lock behind me. Hikaru and Kaoru were sniggering outside.

I was trapped.

Tamaki, oblivious to it all, was searching through the cupboard for pocky. Just a note: there was never any to begin with.

"Ahem." I cleared my throat softly. He had begun to hum Claire de Lune.

"Ahem," I said again, a little more loudly. He was now dancing a little in time with his humming as he moved from cabinet to cabinet.

"Tamaki!" I said finally, so loud that he jumped and slammed a cabinet shut. Said cabinet rebounded with equal fervor, nearly hitting him in the face.

He dodged it with an exaggerated jump, and the next thing I knew I was on my back on the floor and he was on top of me, blushing brightly.

"Sorry," he said, "I tripped." He didn't get up. Pain was shooting through my back, but I ignored it, busy looking in his violet-blue eyes.

My heartbeat was so loud that I swore he could here it and for a moment, just a moment, I thought it was the real Tamaki lying on top of me. He slowly moved and held my hands above my head. I could feel something warm and throbbing against my leg and gasped. It was all too real. The entire game was just too real.

Luckily for me, the door opened to reveal the twins, Kaoru wearing a distinctly triumphant smirk. The hungry look vanished from Tamaki's face and he got off me, smiling sheepishly and angling his body to hide his erection.

"I couldn't find the pocky guys, sorry," he mumbled. I sat up and he fled from the room, followed by Hikaru.

"Come now, Kyouya, let's go home," Kaoru said smugly. I grabbed his pant leg to help myself up.

"You're a jerk," I said in a petty, womanish way. He laughed a little and I felt my fist curl up.

We were all alone after-hours at the Host Club.

I know what you're all thinking. I know what you write about us. "Haruhi left to go to the supermarket," leaving all those hot homo homo men alone in the music room, right? Then we have mad, passionate, homo homo orgies, right?

No, not really. I apologize, but that did not happen. Kaoru and I simply went home. I can't make any guarantees about what would have happened if he'd been Tamaki instead, though.

DM: Well there you go! Chapter two! Just a warning, there will be smut in the next chapter. Hetero smut. And in the chapter after. What a smutty fic. I apologize. Anyway, it's time for me to present you with a shameless plug: I recently began a story on fictionpress (fanfiction's sister site) called Confessions of a Yaoi fangirl. Just search for it in the search bar or go to the link in my profile (ff doesn't let you paste links in stories). I think it's safe to assume that most of you are yaoi fangirls, so I think you'll appreciate it. Please read and review! I wouldn't bother you about it, but it's so difficult to get readers on fictionpress. Anyway, next chapter: Triangle.