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DM: I'm back from my trip! I love you guys! Thanks to:
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Operation: Revenge
Chapter Three
Triangle
Tamaki was walking rather calmly with Hunny and Mori. The two were still dressed like ninjas, and they were leading Tamaki off the Ootori just as the sun was rising, passed-out bodyguards wearing make-up littering their path. Yet none of this seemed to bother him, because when he spoke, he had other concerns on his mind.
"Is Kyouya going to be ok?" Tamaki asked his captors. Hunny and Mori looked at each other.
While it was a relief that he hadn't asked, "Why do there seem to be a lot of crossdressers out this morning?" or "Are we doing ninja day at the Host Club?", his question was still difficult to answer.
"Of course, Tama," Hunny replied, giving a strained smile. He didn't know the details of Haruhi's plan, but one could be certain that the Shadow King would be a little less than fine. Mori grunted, as if to validate the little guy's response.
"Are you sure?" Tamaki asked, rubbing his chin as he sidestepped a Britney Spears look-a-like in the middle of the path, "He bumped his head rather hard on the door."
Completely unaware that the injury was entirely his fault, Tamaki furrowed his brow in worry. Hunny and Mori sighed.
"So, where are we going?" Tamaki asked.
"Cake!" Hunny replied without thinking. All that breaking and entering, assault and kidnapping had made him hungry. Mori slapped a hand to his forehead.
"Mitsukuni, it's six in the morning," he said softly. Tamaki turned around abruptly.
"That's not a problem! Commoner bakeries open at seven!" he said proudly.
"Yay!" Hunny exclaimed, jumping in the air. Mori glared at the back of Tamaki's head.
The trio walked on a little further in silence, coming at last to the end of the grounds, where the Honinozuka limo awaited them.
"Oh yea," Tamaki said as they clambered into the car, "Have any of you guys seen Haruhi? She's not picking up her phone."
"Maybe it ran out of battery," Hunny suggested sagely. Tamaki appeared to be listening.
"Maybe she was kidnapped," he said, revealing that he had already taken the first bus to Lala land.
"Or maybe she's at home," countered Mori, joining in the logic fest.
"Maybe she fell through time and now has to battle dinosaurs!" Tamaki exclaimed, ignoring the other two, "Oh god, Haruhi that's not an herbavore! No! Run!" he cried, pressing himself against the window, as if that would help.
"Or maybe she's going out with Hikaru," Hunny said quietly, tired, irritated and hungry.
"What?" Tamaki asked, frozen. For a second it looked like Hunny had got him pinned. However, he recovered quickly, shaking his head. "Nah," he said, "That's about as likely as you and Mori boning. That would never happen."
The other two exchanged glances but said nothing. Best to leave him to his own delusions, they decided.
"Say, Haruhi," Hikaru began, unsure of how to phrase his request. She turned to look at him and his voice caught in his throat. They were sitting on Kyouya's bed as Kaoru messed with their victim.
"What is it, Hikaru?" she asked. They had gotten bored of watching the game (Kyouya and Kaoru were in class) and making out in the same room as two sleeping dudes was awkward, so they were now snooping through Kyouya's CDs.
"You know that story you wrote?" he continued, watching her toss aside another CD of classical music. How boring.
"Uhm, what about it?" she asked, looking back to the box to avoid his eyes. She had never let him read past the "Haruhi and Hikaru have hot gay sex" chapter. Of course, right after it came the "Haruhi, Kyouya and Tamaki have a hot, drunken, gay threesome" chapter. She sighed, debating whether or not she should encrypt it or something.
"Can I finish reading it?" he asked. Her hands stopped, and for a second Hikaru was sure he'd made her upset.
"Look! I found George Michael!" she said happily, pulling out Faith and displaying it proudly to Hikaru. He began laughing hysterically as some ludicrous images came to mind.
Kyouya singing "I Want Your Sex" in the shower being the principle one. Oh god, it was too funny.
Amidst the laughter, Hikaru forgot entirely that Haruhi was hiding half a story from him.
I should definitely encrypt it, Haruhi thought, a guilty feeling creeping at the back of her neck.
Of course, while Haruhi and Hikaru were conducting a gross invasion of my privacy (which she would later confess to me when I asked where my GM went) I was busy trying to fend off Kaoru's advances. It seemed he'd read some fanfiction or something overnight and decided that we would make a good couple. Asshole.
"Kyouya, whacha doin'?" he asked, peering into the closet.
"I'm changing for today's Host Club, now get out, you idiot," I said, resolutely facing away from him. I don't know when I became a snappy and self-righteous female, but Kaoru was definitely speeding up the process. He didn't reply, so I ventured a peek over my shoulder.
He was suddenly right behind me.
"Kyouya, you have such a nice body," he whispered softly in my ear. In spite of the revulsion my brain felt, I shivered. Damn hormones. It's pitiful to be confessing this to you of all people. I mean seriously. Pitiful.
I had only managed to get on my pants before this interruption. We were dressing up as ninjas that day. And here I was, defenseless, shirtless, penisless and alone with a seemingly horny Kaoru. A bit of a problem, in my opinion.
"After club practice come back here and I'll show you how to get out of this mess," he whispered, placing his hands on my shoulders. I jumped as something cold and wet pressed against my earlobe. Practically shivering, my eyes widened in horror as he pushed his tongue into my ear. It was a delightful sensation, really, but the male mind inside of my was utterly disgusted. In fact, I suddenly feel like cleaning my ears.
"Kyouya, what's taking you so long?" Tamaki's voice and footsteps were coming rapidly closer. I elbowed Kaoru in the gut, causing him to nearly fall backwards. He grabbed me for support.
So, when the game-Tamaki entered the room, he saw me shirtless with Kaoru holding onto my breasts for dear life. A lovely tableau for every molestor to have in their living room.
I suddenly appreciated the level of technology that was virtual reality, because it took all sorts of rationalization to convince myself that no, he was not, in fact, the real Tamaki that I knew. The real Tamaki was eating cake or something at that time anyway.
The game's Tamaki ran the gamut of emotions: he at first colored in anger, then he looked as though he were about to cry, and then finally he became embarassed and ran off. Totally in character.
"That's interesting," Kaoru said after a brief pause. I cleared my throat.
"Didn't expect him to react like that, that's for sure," he continued, talking more to himself than to me. I cleared my throat again, a little more loudly. He was still grabbing my breasts.
He muttered something I couldn't hear and looked around a bit, as if he had lost something. When he finally located his hands his triumphant expression fell through immediately. Giving me a little squeeze, he let go and stepped back, suddenly embarrassed. I crossed my arms and began tapping my foot.
"Seriously, Kaoru, you don't even like girls," I said, noting his lack of a hard-on. He blushed. There was a pregnant pause.
Then I kicked him in the shin. That got him moving so that I could at last get changed. What a jerk.
Anyway, let's cut to after club meeting, which is when Kaoru's idiocy essentially ruined my life for quite a while in ways I still have trouble understanding. Oh god, I remember it like it was yesterday (his tearful apology, that is). I also remember just as clearly that fateful afternoon, the first and last time I ever experienced heterosexual sex.
I should start from the beginning. I was changing in the closet after club practice, deciding strongly that I would install a lock in the door as soon as possible, when I heard footsteps approaching.
"Kaoru, I'm really not in the mood to be sexually harrassed. Come back tomorrow," I called, my voice dripping with its usual sarcasm. Tamaki had avoided my eyes for the rest of Host Club. I was finding it rather difficult to believe this wasn't real life, and so it bothered me that I was now estranged from the ever idiotic King.
Kaoru didn't reply, but I heard the door open behind me. Not caring that I was in my underwear (I was actually male, after all) I spun around to face my assailant.
"Listen, Kao--maki?" I was rather confused. It was Tamaki in the doorway.
"Kyouya," he whispered, advancing toward me. It must have been the hormones, but I was sure in that moment that the real Tamaki was in front of me.
Little did I know that the real Tamaki was now trying to pay for a 500 yen breakfast with 10,000 yen and had no idea of my predicament. I also didn't know that Haruhi and Hikaru were making out on my bed while listening to George Michael, but that was less important.
"Kyouya," Tamaki repeated, coming so close we were almost touching. He was quite tall, I realized suddenly. His hand came up and cupped my cheek, pulling me up onto tiptoe.
Out of nowhere, his mouth was suddenly pressed against mine; a wonderful, nonsensical tangle of wetness and heat ensued. His hands were in my short hair, tugging me back as his tongue pressed in further, forcing me to arch my back and bend down towards the floor--
I can't do this. Ok, yes I can. Sorry. I had to collect myself for a moment there.
I didn't realize that I was on the floor until I felt the cold shock of the tile through my camisole. Tamaki broke the kiss and stared at me, both of us panting.
He was waiting for my reaction. Several sensible courses of action were speeding for my frontal lobe (where decisions are made, you know) when Tamaki ran his thumb over my left nipple and essentially derailed them. I gasped and arched my back into his hand, which squeezed me in reply. We were kissing again and I could feel something hard and hot on my leg but did not mind at all. My camisole began sliding up and suddenly his cold hands were all over my chest.
In spite of myself, I moaned as he nibbled my neck, taking a nipple and pinching it between his thumb and forefinger as it hardened. He kissed me again, probing deeply with his tongue as he slid the camisole and the matching panties down off my body. He sat back on his heels and stared.
In a moment of horny insanity I wished that he would look at me like that when I was a man. It passed quickly as he removed his shirt. I couldn't hear any voices outside and dimly wondered if Kaoru had sent everyone home. He had planned this all along.
As Tamaki removed his pants I shivered. It was cold, lying naked there. Goosebumps formed on my chest. Clad only in boxers, Tamaki leaned foreward and placed his mouth over one of my breasts, teasing the nipple with his tongue. I gasped, shivered, squirmed beneath him, only to be pushed down flat on the floor. He nearly tore his boxers as he tossed them off, never taking his eyes off mine.
Desire taking hold completely, I let him push my legs apart, both desperate for and afraid of what was coming next. He rested his elbows on either side of my head and kissed me deeply again. Mid kiss I felt a searing pain, almost like burning between my thighs. I broke away.
He was going painfully slowly. It hurts more when something's only halfway in, to be honest. This is also true in men, as I would learn later. I grabbed his hair and pulled him until we were nose to nose, which I think surprised him a little.
"Just. do. it. all. at. once." I growled through gritted teeth. Women are scary.
He complied and with one more painful thrust I was filled with Tamaki. It was a wonderful feeling, to be honest. He held me close, waiting for my pain to subside. Placing my hands on his shoulders, I pushed him up and gazed in his eyes. I then said, not for the last time, "Fuck me, please." Tamaki's always been the obedient type.
His eyes were half-lidded in lust as he thrust in and out, occasionally kissing me but mostly biting his lower lip. He let out a low moan. I wrapped my legs over his back and moaned in reply, pushing myself up into him, feeling him go deeper with each thrust. It was exquisite.
The thrusting grew faster as Tamaki muttered out barely comprehensible "yea"s and "Oh Kyouya"s. I bucked back, delighting in the mixture of pain and pleasure as our hips collided roughly. He propped himself up on his arms and looked down at my face as I moaned and begged him not to stop. However, three huge thrusts and the sexiest look I've ever seen on Tamaki's face told me it was over. He had come, and beautifully.
Knowing full well that I hadn't had the orgasmic experience he'd had, he whispered a soft apology and kissed my nose. I wrinkled it in reply.
"Don't worry about it," I said, regaining my usual tone, "They say the female orgasm is very fickle."
This is mildly bad, guys, I'm sorry to say. Oh yea, it's Renge again, but this time I don't think I can be as cheerful as usual. Sigh...
Anyway, Kyouya is having his fifth round of sex with the game-Tamaki, which I have a very bad feeling about. I also wish Kyouya was a man. It would be so much hotter that way. Don't look at me like that!
Furthermore, there's something else that worries me. Thanks to Kaoru, Hikaru and Haruhi seem like they're about to have some problems. Also thanks to Kaoru, it seems Kyouya is falling in love with Tamaki, who has so far seemed to be straight (sadly). Lastly, he just told me with complete conviction that my new red iphone was green. He's behaving very strangely! Not only is he involved in two love triangles, but now he's contracted colorblindness!
Actually, you might be born with that last one.
I could have sworn this was important to the story somehow, but I forgot. Sorry!
DM: Well that's it for now. Sorry that this was borderline crack. Also sorry that the sex scene wasn't horribly sexy. Kyouya's not very good at that, you know. Anyway, next chapter will be entirely third-person narrative, because I can't be trusted with Kyouya and Renge's voices. Please review! I can update within the week if you do! Next chapter: Double Trouble.