Chapter eight - 'I was doing fine as I was!'
"God I thought she was never going to leave!" Sirius groaned as he sat back down in the living room with Lupin who once again, took up the days paper and hid behind it.
"She claimed she was staying to give Tonks some female company." Lupin sighed unable to hide any longer as Sirius twitched and shuffled in his childish manner when he was thinking or wanted to talk.
"Why, Tonks doesn't really like female company that's why she hangs around here and especially not from a nosy busy body trying to get in everybody's business. What's her big excuse anyway for always trying to dictate what Tonks does? She aint her mother!" Sirius grumbled loudly stretching his limbs out lazily.
"She thinks that Tonks would benefit from a boyfriend and should think about settling down with someone before she gets too old or incapable of having children. Apparently anyone who has kids pest thirty is just asking for problems.' Lupin explained dryly as Sirius laughed with his horse bark at the thought at his rather fond of cousin but then became cross when his brain caught up with himself.
'She even keeps suggesting Bill or maybe if she gets desperate, Charlie." Lupin continued trying his best to keep a simple face but Sirius could easily tell from his voice that Lupin was rather annoyed at the minuet.
"You gotta be kidding. Tonks is still really young, she can wait awhile can't she and anyway, I thought Molly was doing everything she can to stop her eldest from rushing into things and telling him that he hasn't been engaged long enough. How many times has she accused that Fleur of being knocked up now three, four? And that she was only marring Bill to make sure her kid had a man about the place to pay for things." Sirius asked just as Tonks herself came through the door and for once managed to keep quiet as she checked the coast was clear.
"Five I think." Remus put in encouragingly thinking the whole idea of kids and marriage an unrealistic mad idea when ever he and Sirius were concerned.
"That's why Fleur is refusing to come to the house and won't even tell Molly the date of the wedding or anything, I'm not sure one's been set from what Charlie said but Fleur's trying her best to dig her heels in and keep Molly out." Tonks explained wondering through the door as carefully as she could, so careful in fact that she only knocked one vase over as she dropped her bag on a spare chair.
"Oh well, I wouldn't envy having that sort of a women as my mother-in-law, I can see why she might want to keep it rather quiet." Sirius decided pleased his second favourite play mate had returned after taking a few hours to hide from Molly at work.
"She's gone then?" Tonks asked cautiously half expecting Mrs Weasley to jump out at any moment and have another women to women chat.
"Yep finally, come sit down, you look tired. You can take it easy now with work until Christmas I recon, when she lands on the doorstep with a suitcase again." Sirius grumbled as Lupin started to try and hide again behind the paper only to get a very cross look from Sirius.
"I really wish Molly would leave me alone, it's not as if I haven't got me own annoying mother!"
"Oi you're mother's wonderful! Don't complain about her!" Sirius snapped in quick as Tonks rolled her eyes.
"What does she think I am, some sort of powder puff girl? No wonder Fleur doesn't want anything do to with her, its six now by the way Remus. You know I had her in tears the last time Molly shoved me a room, knowing full well Bill was hardly dressed again in it." Tonks complained biting at one of her nails a bit before Sirius slapped it out her mouth, the same way her mother would if she was caught.
"What?" Remus suddenly asked quiet flabbergasted but then quickly composed himself and sat back more quietly.
"She thinks, well I don't know what she thinks to be honest, it was really was rather embarrassing. Anyway, it seems Fleur's really upset by the whole kids thing, seems every time Molly brings the subject up it really touches a rather painful nerve and she leaves the room bursting into tears." Tonks explained dropping a foot on the coffee table and pulling off the heavy black boot.
"What do you mean it touches a nerve, can she not have kids or something?" Sirius asked as Lupin tried to hide behind the paper again before it was also slapped quickly out his hands by Sirius.
"It's not exactly like that Sirius, more of something else, but you really wouldn't understand. Too many balls! It's a girly thing, but trust me it's really unpleasant for her, you know if Molly doesn't hold back a bit Fleur's mother is going to step in and stop the wedding. Say's no marriage can be built on this much suffering and if Fleur looses any more weight from worrying, she'd never fit into her wedding dress, not that Molly's aloud to know Fleur's already decided to wear her grandmothers. It sounds really rather pretty to be honest from how she explained it to me, but then, so do most things she talks about."
Tonks explained pouting slightly as she tried not to fume too much in front of Lupin. She didn't want him thinking she was a silly little girl but unfortunately for Lupin, the sight of her pouting and fuming was turning him on, so he had to leave the paper over his lap to cover himself from Sirius and his annoying habit of noticing that sort of thing and commenting loudly.
"Cricky, I'm glad I never married, if this is what it's like. How come Lilly never had this problem?" Sirius asked picking up his mug again and refilling it with his wand.
"She did, to some extent, that's why half her family never turned up to the wedding, after her sister told all those horrible lies about James and they believed it. They all thought she was too nice for her own good and that James had bewitched her when he took her home or something." Lupin added jogging Sirius's memory into a smile.
"Oh yeah, James was really annoyed by the whole thing, but I don't think it was bewitching as such he was trying to do when he took her home." Sirius added with a slight twinkle in his eye pleased for once Harry was out of ear shot, as Lupin chucked a pillow at him and Tonks laughed.
"Anyway dreadfully annoying woman aside, I'm going to bed with my lovely bottle of fire whisky and Harry's present." Sirius declared picking up the bottle and leaving the two as subtly as he could which wasn't very subtle at all.
"I really didn't want to know that Sirius. And how could he give you them, he's supposed to be a decent lad? Well he was when I used to teach him!" But Sirius had gone now and Lupin found himself painfully aware that he was alone with Tonks and she was clearly wide awake with no intention of bed any time soon.
"So being chatting away with Sirius about how dreadful Molly is and after all that crying she did as well on your shoulder the other day." Tonks teased sitting down next to him and lifting her leg up to rub her ankle.
"That wasn't my fault and no, he was just complaining as always and I was listening as always." Lupin replied just as he realised his body was going berserk when he suddenly caught a whiff of Tonks lavender perfume and saw the cold goose bumps on her arms.
"Can you pass me that cloak?" She asked pointing to the warm looking pile just to Lupin's right. He complied and although he had no idea, Tonks took the opportunity to check out Lupin's very pert butt as she called it, as he leaned forward despite the trousers which only made her eager to see just how nice it must be under them.
"Here. You should try wearing a bit more it's cold out there don't want to see you laid up in bed again." Lupin replied.
"I wasn't laid up in bed because I was ill, I had some time off and thought she would bloody well leave me alone if I was ill, how was I too know she would come in and out constantly not giving me a minuets peace? Next time I think I'll play sick at home with dad at least mum leaves me to it most the time.' Tonks complained rapping the cloak around her shoulders.
'But I suppose she can always tell if I'm faking it, I was really looking forward to some lazy me time too and Sirius was so nice cleaning that bath up for me, so I could lay for hours in it and because of her, I barely got ten minuets at a time. Jobs for Dumbledore are fine. Babysitting Harry when he goes shopping is fine because Sirius gives me money to by jeans for it and I think he's really rather sweet.' Tonks decided thoughtfully, not yet aware that Lupin was trying to keep the conversation a bit one sided.
'But I didn't go through Aura training and have to put up with a shitty job to have the over baring bitch from hell come and ruin my one long weekend off for months. You know how hard it is getting time off these days from the Ministry, they'd have us working night and day if they could cope with the paper work."
Tonks ranted as Remus resisted the urge to kiss her face off seeing the sexy cross look before she shook her short pink hair into it's natural long black locks.
"I know it's hard for you to get time off but at least you have a job.' He sighed now painfully reminded of Sirius by her hair. It completely ruined the mental image of kissing her face off now.
'Look at me, if I don't go out and do things for Dumbledore I'm stuck here unemployed still and scrounging off a sodding convict. My dad would go nuts if he saw me now like this. I can hardly face going home at my age in this sort off mess."
Remus sighed but Tonks was strangely paying still attention to him, reminding Lupin far too much of Sirius to even bear looking at her until she took a hold of his chin and forced him too.
"You aren't a looser and at least you can get out unlike me dear, dear, demented cousin who's current only outlet if staring at a mirror until Harry appears and a few dirty muggle magazines that aren't even top, top shelf quality." She explained gently.
Lupin smiled seeing her pointed look and gave in, things weren't that bad and so what, he had to rely on the kindness of Sirius. After all, wasn't it Sirius himself that said he was only keeping Remus as a house guest because he had nothing better to do and needed someone to pester and annoy in the boring nine to five hours when normal people worked.
"You don't think I'm a looser?" He asked cocking an eye brow as Tonks moved his face from side to side.
"No I don't. I think your really rather sweet, to be honest." She explained scooting closer to Remus and smiling shyly at him as he tried not to image how soft and gentle those lips were smiling at him.
"You think I'm sweet, do you?" He replied as she moved closer still and Lupin couldn't move any further away from her as he was leaning as close to the sofa arm as possible.
"Yes I think your very sweet, why are you surprised?" She asked hoping beyond anything that Remus was getting her hint and would make a move soon so she didn't have to do all the work.
"Yes I am actually; no one ever thinks I'm sweet. And I was under the impression you thought me old, past it, scruffy, annoying and a bit of a nitwit, but not sweet." He explained trying to act casual but well aware the cloak around Tonks shoulders was sliding subtly down to revel pale unmarked skin that Remus was now longing to touch.
"Only a bit of a nitwit Remus?"
"I think you're getting me confused with Sirius again but I think you're really sweet too you know, but I bet I'm not the only one. Would you like a drink?" He asked trying his best to change the subject but Tonks was determined that this time he wasn't going to get away. She'd spent over an hour arguing and ranting at Sirius when he came to ask her about the book she'd brought in London. She was terribly confused and fed up with Remus and swore hole heartedly she was never going to talk to him again if he made one more smug high arsed comment about not being interested. She'd already caught him off guard once and kissed him so it was only a matter of time before it happened again. How can anybody this sensitive be so annoying about himself?
"Err, no thanks I'm ok. So?" She replied leaning her head gently on her arm and playing with her hair. Tonks couldn't help herself, she knew she would kick herself later for behaving so ridiculously girly, but at the moment, she just wanted Remus to notice her.
"So." He mirrored but kept his body leaned back away from Tonks.
"So do you fancy coming out for breakfast with me tomorrow? I have the morning off and would like some company." She asked trying her best not to notice how nervous and uncomfortable Remus was looking.
"Err, I don't know. I'll think about it, how come you have the morning off?" He shifted slightly in his seat, he wanted to sit more square to make his knee comfortable, but daren't because that would mean moving closer still to Tonks.
"Oh, it's to sort of cover for Moody. Is your knee ok it looks painful? Here let me give you some pain relief for it." She explained laying a hand on the side of his bad knee and with the other took a hold of his shoulder and pulled him straight.
"Honestly it doesn't hurt that bad, just twinges every now and then that's all." He explained as he jumped slightly as Tonks hand accidentally touched the inside of his leg, he wasn't going to admit why but merely allowed her to believe it was from pain.
"Oh I'm sorry, didn't mean to catch you, just let me thin the pain out a bit and then we can carry on talking." She explained. But Lupin tried to stand up now, unfortunately because of his bad leg he couldn't and lost his balance. He through his arm out to grab a hold of something and unfortunately it was Tonks who clumsy as she was, toppled over landing flat on her back and Lupin on top.
"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to grab you?" Remus began but could barely move as his leg had fallen at a very peculiar angle.
"That's ok, err, do you mind moving off me?" Tonks replied although really enjoying having Lupin on top of her like this she had hoped it to have been a more romantic moment.
"I'm sorry, your right, my legs much worse than I'd admit and I can't actually move it now." Lupin explained and after a lot of pained expressions as he tried to get up he gave in and laid his head over her shoulder totally exhausted.
"Oh well can I help you?"
"No, I'm afraid were stuck between the sofa and Sirius's ridiculously heavy coffee table, until it wears off a bit, I'm sorry. I mean it's not as if you can lift me up is it?" Lupin explained but Tonks merely smiled at his embarrassment.
"That's ok, I've been in far worse positions than this before. So do you fancy coming for breakfast now in the morning?" She asked as Lupin sighed, he couldn't get away from her now and could smell sweet strawberries from Tonks black hair.
"Maybe as friends." He replied but Tonks had a truly disappointed look on her face now he'd said the dreadful word friend.
"Oh I see. Well I suppose?" She tried to sound casual but wasn't making a very good job of it at all. The heads of stuffed house elves on the stairs could even tell how disappointed she was but unfortunately for Tonks, Lupin could only just register it.
"I thought that's what you wanted? Anything else wouldn't work trust me." Lupin tried to explain but he really wasn't sure how.
"Why wouldn't it, you're a nice man despite spending time with Sirius, I still like you and all you do is push people away?" She complained.
"It just doesn't work like that with me. People don't get close to me, like I said, I'm just not that way. And besides Sirius would kill me if I hurt you. He's so sodding overprotective sometimes." Lupin mumbled laying his head back down so he wouldn't have to look at her sad face.
"I can look after myself, I've done perfectly well without my stupid overprotective cousin for years and I'm sure this will continue.' She explained firmly.
'And like I SAID, you've been daft, everybody's like that at some point and as for no-one getting close to you, need I remind you that your currently laid on top of me in a most unorthodox position that if anybody walked in they would think 'arr isn't that nice Lupin has finally found some sweet company'. But no, you have to make people think that you're a boring old fart, whose decided to retire from life before he's much past forty!"
And then turning her face away to sulk Tonks was beginning to wonder if really, this honest sweet man was worth all the hassle. Unfortunately the smell of Tonks's hair became totally over powering to Lupin and he found himself melting himself in her arms and tried to push himself up. The last thing he need was to get turned on when he was trying his best to make friends with her. (It hadn't actually occurred to the nitwit yet to say yes!)
"I'm not a boring old fart and I'm not past forty. And I haven't retried from life, I'm just taking a break from being kicked in the balls and to be perfectly honest this mess is your fault for trying to fix a perfectly uncomfortable knee." He complained as Tonks turned to see his struggling face.
"My fault, you're the one that tried to stand up when you couldn't. Why couldn't you just let me help you? But no, you've got to be the suffering silence type all on your own! Can't accept help from anybody, would rather sulk on his own then admit he actually has a heart and feelings underneath all that scruffy outside, ya' stupid big dummy!" Tonks argued not noticing the door opening.
"Now, now children play nicely. Didn't your mother tell you it's wrong to go to bed angry?" Sirius's cheeky grin was looking at them lopsided over the top of the coffee table and finding the entire situation highly amusing. He knew full well that however they had ended up in this situation Lupin was stuck because of his knee and they weren't going to get free anytime soon without his help.
"Shut up Padfoot and lift me up will you, I can't move and I'm quiet sure Tonks wants to be somewhere else." Lupin snapped seeing the crease around Sirius's mouth indicating he was up to some mischief.
"Arr, has little Moony got himself stuck on top of a very nice young lady.' He mocked giving puppy dog eyes as he leaned in closer.
'Besides, I know for a fact Nymphi has been trying for weeks to pin you down and do rather unscrupulous things to you, from what I've heard down the grape vine."
"Don't you call me that you stupid pig headed..!" Tonks began shuffling around to get up but merely causing Lupin more pain.
"Arr, aren't we a little cross thing! And stop wiggling Lupin doesn't have self control and if you keep rubbing your chest against him like that he's gonna have to change his trousers again." Sirius laughed kneeling down by their heads and sitting and watching the filthy look on Lupin's face, he clearly hadn't thought Sirius had found out about that little accident and was enjoying the confused look on Tonks's.
"What, he just told me he doesn't like me?" She asked looking totally confused.
"Well actually, he fancy's the lacy black knickers off you and despite using me as an excuse, he's convinced his tiny, incy, wincy, little brain, both that you find him repulsive and that his annoying monthly condition makes it impossible for him to like anybody but me." Sirius explained stuffing a rather raggy looking sock in Lupin's mouth so he couldn't argue back.
"What, no he doesn't, he says he's an old fart and he isn't interested?" Tonks asked unsure if Sirius was just winding her up now or actually telling the truth.
"Have you been telling porky pies Remus, bad boy, bad boy Remus!' Sirius slapped him roughly on the shoulder so he lost his raised balance and slipped face first on to Tonks. If it hadn't of being for the sock still in his gob he'd have kissed her then and Sirius knew it.
'Anyway bad boy Remus is definitely very interested in you and trust me, he's my age and I'm certainly not an old fart now am I?"
"No I suppose not, even when we were young I never thought you that old!" Tonks pondered.
"Now then Remus, let me pull this out of your mouth." Sirius pulled the sock out his mouth as Lupin snapped at him with a face like thunder.
"You're a total arsehole PADFOOT!" Lupin snapped the moment he could breath freely through his mouth again.
"Oh that's not very nice. But I'll forgive you seen as your under so much err, 'pressure'. Now then, if you agree to take Tonks out on a little date and you give her a little kiss then I promise I will help you out of your pickle. However, if you don't then I'm going to leave you here to think about it until morning like the naughty little children you are. And don't try and double cross me Remus because if you do I know a very nosy red head who would just love to hear about this little, err, predicament you're in."
Sirius smirked and noticed the slightly pleased look on Tonks face as Remus nodded unable to speak as he was having a hard time of not thinking about Tonks soft lips.
"You're an evil bastared, you know that don't you!" Lupin growled before leaning down to kiss Tonks gently on the soft cheek.
"I'm glad we see eye to eye, or at least you see eye to breast, now let me grab you around the shoulders." Sirius explained stepping over to hoist Lupin easily back on to his feet and supported him as he swayed slightly trying to put his foot down.
"You know you didn't have to interfere like that Sirius." Tonks complained hitting Sirius on the shoulder as he lifted Lupin's arm over his shoulder to stop his friend from toppling over again.
"Quiet you, or I'll show him the only picture in existence of you actually wearing a dress." Tonks face dropped in horror.
"You wouldn't dare. How did you get hold of that anyway mum keeps them all?" Tonks asked hoping he was bluffing.
"Well me and your mum were always best of friends now weren't we and despite her not able to come to dinner here. I'm sure I could manage a few odd little chats some time soon with her! She'd love to hear what I've got to say about you! I'm sure." Sirius explained then started to lead Lupin back out the room and up the stairs.
Tonks didn't follow but apperated up to her own bedroom as Sirius half dragged Lupin to his room.
"How could you step in like that, with your stupid male bravado, I was doing fine just as I was thank-you very much?" Lupin complained as Sirius dropped him on his bed and started pulling his shoes off for him.
"Oh really, anyway I told you, now Harry's gone back to school Tonks has become my new project for the time being. She's mad about you even if it was only the other day she admitted it to me. Honestly, she isn't my little sister, I'm quiet happy to see her happy with another man. But really if for some strange reason you've develop some testosterone, then I really don't want to see, hear or know about you screwing her like the little rampant rabbit I know is in there, well somewhere in there, deep, deep, deep, deep down!" Sirius explained taking the jacket from Lupin and leaving him to get into bed.
"Thanks Sirius!' Lupin called as he reached the door.
'Your right I do need a hefty shove some times to get things moving, but she's still too cute for me." Lupin explained but Sirius merely grinned.
"You only get one chance with her and then I pass her on to Harry or maybe Charlie. Bet he'd love to get near to a proper woman! And probably very capable of give her a good old,"
"Night Sirius." Lupin put in quickly as Sirius merely laughed closing the door behind him and crossing over to the room Tonks had claimed to say good bye before finally returning to his magazines.