Chapter twelve ' 'Bugger it's me mother!'
"Oh god, Remus!" She moaned quietly in his ear spurring the excited man along with wanton devotion as he tried his best not to groan too much in a growl by bighting his own tongue and burying his face into the cushion behind Tonks head.
"NYMPHADORA TONKS, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Andromeda Tonks bellowed through the now widely open door.
"Bugger it's my mother!" Tonks cried, as Lupin fell off the side of the little bed with half the sheets, to leave a naked Tonks as she quickly pulled the cushion and remaining blanket around her skimpy form.
"Never mind bugger, how about holey bloody shit!" Remus muttered to himself as he came crashing to the floor.
Lupin was now sprawled out on the floor and had unfortunately fallen badly on his knee and decided, seen as he was totally covered by the bed sheets and totally naked, he'd rather play dead than face Tonks mother just yet. There was always something in the look Sirius had when he talked about her that she wasn't a women to get on the wrong side of and leave the house with everything in tact.
"Mother, what are you doing home so early?" Tonks cried with clear shock in her voice, masked only by the sheer horror of her mother walking in on her and Remus's intimate moment in bed, he'll never do it again now she was sure. He'd be too nervous.
"I could ask you the same thing!' She snapped back clearly shocked more than anything else.
'Now get dressed and come and say hello properly." She snapped slamming the door shut and left Tonks to quickly jump off the bed and see how Remus was on the floor.
"Remus, are you ok?" Tonks gently asked leaning over the bed to see her lover in a crumpled heap on the floor.
"I err, fell on my bad knee and well it bloody hurts and let's err, leave it at that." He explained as she pushed him over on to his seat sympathising with the pain flashing across his knee.
"Oh well, I best not touch it then, you know how clumsy I am. Err, are you ok, I know you were err, pretty close and I hope the shock of my mother didn't cause you to, err?" She tried to ask but blushed just as dreadfully as Lupin when he guessed what she was trying to say.
"Oh no don't worry I'm fine. You err, might want to wash you sheets some time soon though." He added blushing and looking down at Tonks's bare pale chest and grinning. He'd been almost reduced to mindless pleasurable grunting only moments before the interruption and had quickly achieved his moment of glory when he fell out of bed.
"Oh well at least you managed to get there." She giggled kissing his pink cheek softly.
"I'm sorry, I haven't really been very active like that recently." He tried to apologise but Tonks stopped him with a few well placed kisses.
"Don't be daft, you just like to do things properly don't you. Besides, who wants a lover that's over and done in ten minuets flat. There was a reason why Casanova could never keep a woman very long ya know?" She teased with her youthful giggle making Lupin feel a hundred times better with himself as she kissed him gently on the lips and hugged up close to him.
"You'd better stop doing that you know, otherwise you might make me start all over again." He added pulling away from the kiss before his stupid male lust over took him again.
"Ok, come on, I'll help you find your clothes." She explained sitting up and helping Remus sit back on the bed as she fished around the surprisingly messy room for something to wear.
They quickly dressed and Tonks lead the way down stairs as Lupin tried his best not to look at the dark haired witch at the bottom of the stairs in the hallway. All she needed was a rolling pin and it would be the perfect scene, she however ignored Lupin and dragged her daughter off into the kitchen for heated words leaving Lupin in his uncomfortable silence. Quickly though an old horse voice called him in from the sitting room.
"Hay sunny come in here and help an old man will ya?" He called through to Lupin who was completely bamboozled as to why anybody would call him sunny, he hadn't looked like any sort of sunny boy in at least two and a half decades. He quickly obliged though helping the somewhat frail man into his chair and pasted him the requested glasses on the side before finally sitting down as he was told too on the slightly saggy sofa.
"I may be getting old and nearly blind but I'm not stupid. You must be the daft young man seducing my daughter?" He asked smiling over at where Lupin sat. It was clear he could barely see a thing but still the rest of him seemed perfectly fine. Lupin tried to ignore the raised voices from the next room and wondered if he was looking particularly shabby and old today or not. He couldn't tell and so tried not to worry about it too much, Tonks could be a bit of a scruff too sometimes when she came in late.
"Err, I guess, but honestly I had no idea you'd be coming home." He tried to explain but didn't have a clue what to do, it was one thing dodging the over protective Sirius, but it was another to be sat talking with the father that Lupin was beginning to suspect wasn't as old or as frail as he seemed by the way his eyes twinkled and darted around the place.
"Not to worry she's getting quiet mature now, I'm glad she finally settled on a man. I was beginning to wonder about her. Now come tell me what your name is, if I've met you before I'm more likely to remember your name than a face. You seem a little blurry even with these on." He asked but Lupin was sure he'd never met this odd man before.
"I'm afraid we've never met. My name's Remus Lupin." He added not sure weather been friends with Sirius was going to help him here or condemn him to an angry rolling pin in the end he thought it best to wait for them to bring the subject up. He often heard Tonks and Sirius discussing her mother favourably and wasn't exactly sure how they might feel towards some of there crazy convict runaway relatives.
"Ah yes, I think I remember your name. Sirius used to rabbit on about you with his giddy young friend James. Such a lovely boy he was, such a shame now." He sighed honestly but adding to the effect by pausing briefly before looking back up towards Lupin.
"Yeah that was me." Lupin explained pleased that Ted seemed pleased to remember him even if Tonks was now trying to explain that he wasn't the usual male arse hole to her mother. He was however, a little worried about what Ted might think of Sirius now, as he was still an at large convict and all having supposedly murdered and tortured a whole number of people according to the papers recently.
"Hmm, such a shame what happened to that boy. The papers say he's on the run now but still, to break out of Azkaban like that was quiet a feat. He seemed like a nice young boy when he used to come here, I still can't believe he'd do such a thing. I remember seeing him and James laughing away many a time, thick as thieves they were and about as annoying." Ted sighed, Lupin knew he was been tested in an odd fatherly sort of way but he couldn't help but defend Sirius, it just shot out his mouth before he could even stop himself.
"He didn't do it, some one else did and he was framed and left to rot away for it."
"Yes I thought he must have been. I bet it was that Peter fellow. Such a snidey brat when I met him, always sneaking around and sucking up to our Sirius, I tried telling him a hundred times that he shouldn't waste his time on him but still, Sirius was too kind for his own good and had him tagging along all the time getting in the way."
"Yeah he went into hiding after faking his own death and left Sirius to take all the blame." Lupin added a little bitterly but thinking that as Sirius's only living decent family members should at least know the basic truth.
"Yeah and I bet he's still alive with his beloved master isn't he. While dear Sirius is grubbing around in some god forsaken little hole, poor thing must be half starved by now."
"Yep pretty much." Lupin sighed.
"Would you like a drink young man?" Ted suddenly asked pulling a hip flask out from under his chair where he obviously hid it from his wife.
"No thank you, I don't really drink much it interferes with, well never mind." Lupin replied politely sure he shouldn't mention his annoying werewolf-syndrome so quickly into the conversation. Ted however didn't have the same discrepancies, he didn't see the point, a spades a spade you might as well accept it's never going to be a spoon.
"You're a werewolf aren't you?" Ted suddenly asked plainly making Lupin feel both incredibly uncomfortable but also rather hurt by his own old prejudice.
"Is that a problem?" He suddenly snapped.
"No of course not. We have no prejudice's in this house, at least not against dear Sirius's friends. Besides what does it matter anyway, I bet you save all your money for Wolfsbane or whatever it's called don't you?" He asked making Lupin feel both rather disappointed in himself and pleased that Ted at least didn't care or was pretending not too.
"Yeah actually, but well, it's just a bit difficult trying to get hold of a decent potion maker that's all."
"You should get my Andromeda to mix it for you if your stuck, provided you manage not to pull all My little Nymphi's clothes off before hand. It won't get you in her good books you know?" He chuckled making Lupin feel much more comfortable with himself then he ever could have if this was a wizard he was talking to. But then there was that nagging feeling that Tonks always seemed to be referred to as MY Nymphi and that really she was probably doted on by her very loving father.
"It's ok I manage. Did you enjoy your day out?" He asked hoping to give a good impression seen as he'd totally mucked up meeting Tonks's mother with the passionate groping and groaning he was sure he was doing moments before and therefore probably right in front of her mother's glaring gaze.
"Oh yes charming motors, such lovely sounding engines too. I guess your one of these all wizard fellows, that don't know much about a decent car and pop all around the country willy nilly?" He asked with a twinkle in his empty eyes.
"Unfortunately so, seems such a brilliant idea though. To have a car and run it up and down the country."
"Oh it is but nothing can beet a motorbike. I used to love riding them when I was a young man but I had to ditch it when little Nymphi came along. Couldn't take the risk of her getting into the you see.' He chuckled.
'Look what good it did me hay, now she runs about the place with her wand and chases down nutters all day long. But at least I got Sirius in on it for a while despite the wife." He grinned happily away as Lupin began to wonder how it wasn't that odd that a man like this would produce a daughter like Tonks, he could see where some of her odd little ways were coming from now and was sure he'd find them far more cute to watch now he understood them.
"It's not that dangerous being an aura you know?" Lupin tried to explain helpfully but was cut off quickly by Ted.
"Don't lie through your teeth young man, I can hear it in your voice. You hate the idea of worrying about her don't you?" He asked firmly but Lupin got the feeling he wasn't supposed to disagree he was supposed to worry about Tonks, which he did so it was ok.
"Yeah I guess but she loves her job. I wouldn't dare say anything against it." Lupin sighed having tried to hide it from himself just how much he worried about Tonks when she went away on missions, he was almost as bad as Sirius for worrying about her but she'd already proven on several occasions she was well capable of looking after herself. And unfortunate as it was to admit, she'd kick his arse easy any day.
"That she does. Now tell me something about yourself, do you work?" Ted asked and Lupin dreaded the answer as always.
"I'm sort of between contracts at the moment. It's hard to find work a man in my potion." He tried to cover it as best he could and was quiet glad Ted couldn't see just how shabby his clothes were.
"No need to cover it from me young man. I've never heard a bad word against you, it's just a shame you have been forced to live on the cheap. Still, I haven't yet met a man who considered himself rich that I like so you're getting brownie points again." He chuckled and Lupin finally felt fully at ease until he heard the clear ringing of Tonks's voice from the next voice.
"He's a nice man! Why do you have to be so bloody difficult? What does it matter if he's a bit odd?" Tonks cried loudly back at her mother.
'Odd, is that what Tonks thought of him, that he was odd.' But then another voice replied just as firmly.
"I don't care if he's a sodding werewolf. I've got no problem with that, it's just coming home to find him stark naked and the pair of you at it like rabbits the moment my back's turned. What the hell did you bring here for to do that, why not just go back to your flat and muck about there, why did you have to come here of all places, you never normally turn up like this!" Her mother bellowed back and despite Lupin blushing like mad Ted chuckled a little more cheerfully.
"I err, couldn't, it's just not convenient." Tonks tried to reason calmly and totally unsuccessfully.
"Not convenient. Where the hell are you living? You said you had a nice little flat in London near where you're working." Her mother bellowed back as Tonks had some what forgotten to tell her mother about her knew living arrangements with Remus and that it was actually quiet a grotty little hole she'd been living in anyway.
"I had to move out, I've sort of being stopping with Remus but the man who owns the house doesn't really want too err?" Tonks gave in, her mother was furious and instead continuing she braced herself for what was coming next.
"YOU LEFT YOUR FLAT AND NEVER TOLD ME AND MOVED IN WITH SOME MAN YOU BARELY KNOW! And what's the matter with this landlord then? He a peeping Tom or something?" She asked quietly but firmly and Tonks immediately decided she much preferred the bellowing.
"Wow we haven't had a time like this since she told us about her new job. Oh well, wifey will get over it eventually she always does. I think she's just a little shocked to find Tonks with a man after all these years that's all."
"Oh." Was all Lupin could manage at the moment.
"I shouldn't worry though, little Nymphi can hold her own. Now tell me, have you two been at like rabbits all day or have you been off doing something else I'd much rather hear about?" He asked plain as anything making Remus gulp before he could answer.
"Err, no actually, we were up at Hogsmade this morning."
"Oh yes. That village by the wizarding school. Any particular reason?" He continued.
"Err well, we went to see Harry, it was a Hogwarts visiting weekend. We met up with him and his friend Ginny for a bit so he err, wouldn't have any problems wondering round Hogsmade."
"Are you talking about the famous Harry Potter here or just some other random Harry?"
"No, no it's the famous one. Ginny's the youngest Weasley daughter, one of Harry's friends."
"Ah I think I've herd wifey mention them once to her anal retentive clucking friends. Have the Weasley's got a lot of kids all with shocking red hair?"
"Yeah that's them. Tonks gets on well with her and sort of her mother, they seem to spend a lot of time talking and doing whatever weird stuff women do, I dunno really I was just glad to see Harry again."
"I'm glad, Nymphi could do with another girl to talk to and besides I thought ALL women talk constantly?" Ted chuckled as Lupin forced his laugh along a bit still felt too shocked by the situation to relax properly again however nice Ted seemed.
"Yeah I guess. Well even Mrs Black still manages to rattle on these days."
"I thought the horrid old bat was dead?" Ted suddenly asked as Lupin worked out why Sirius liked him so much and was quickly thinking if he should tell Ted about the portrait or not as he half heartedly kicked himself for being so careless because he was so nervous.
"Oh she, I err, it's just her rather annoying portrait stuck on the wall, screams her head off constantly going on about pureblood nonsense."
"Ahh, so you must have been to the Black family home then?" He asked pleased he'd managed to work something out.
"Err yeah, unfortunately I have to call it home at the moment." Lupin explained not sure how much detail he should go in to about where Sirius was.
"Oh don't worry I'm not going to tell anybody. Besides, that place is a bloody fortress. Even its own master struggled to find it sometimes. But then he was a drunkard bastard of a man wasn't he! I guess that's where Sirius's is hiding at the moment? Poor fellow, he hated that place so much and to be stuck there again. It must be awful for him?"
"Yeah well I keep him company do his shopping and stuff. But once you're in it's hard to come out again." Lupin sighed.
"Is he managing ok? After been in prison all these years, he must be very different." Ted wondered pushing on a bit to find more out.
"He's still him, but yeah, he's a lot different now. He spends most his time sulking around the place and being moody and difficult, causing trouble, that sort of thing."
"Always did have an odd thing about him didn't he. Has he still got that chip on his shoulder or as it finally worn off?" Ted asked.
"Yep it's still firmly lodged there, but having Harry around helps it wear down sometimes. He says it's the only thing that's kept him going these past years, Harry's got very little idea he just wonders about quiet oblivious sometimes. It's quiet sweet really in a way."
"Well I did wonder. I heard plenty of rumours about that boy and what he gets up to, but you must know more of the truth. He's supposed to be some where between a genius and totally nuts isn't he?"
"Well he is really quiet something but he's turning out to be a brilliant young man now. I used to teach him in his third year and even then he's taking on fifty Dementors at a time without too much trouble. It's such a shame to watch him struggle so often though, it's not fair on him, but there doesn't seem to be anyone that can really help him sometimes."
"I'm glad he's turning out ok. And I hope James is proud of the boy. I remember seeing Lilly all up duff with him and pair of em were beaming away about having a little nipper together. He must be about fifteen or sixteen now isn't he?"
"Sixteen last summer. And yeah his dad would be proud of him, particularly his knack of getting in to trouble. You know that kid's been in the forbidden forest nearly as much as I have and I was running round howling at the moon. And did you hear he managed to get right in to the Ministry and cause a right old mess in June?" Lupin explained pleased to be telling at least one willing person that Harry wasn't what the papers said he was.
"Yeah what was that all about? They said Sirius had been spotted down there too in one of the dodgy left wing papers?"
"He was. So was I and Tonks. Harry's managed to develop a very loyal and brave side to him, one even his father couldn't even match I'm sure. It wasn't his fault, he made his choice and did what he thought was best at the time. But he was tricked into thinking Sirius had got caught down there and went off to help him. Things turned out ok in the end, but still. Sirius was in a right old state when we thought Harry was dead for a bit. He's a lucky lad really, to still be alive."
"Well he sounds like his father. I remember when he turned up with Sirius one Christmas wanting feeding and charmed his way right into the dinner table and seconds. What with him and Sirius in full flow I'm surprised we only ended up keeping Sirius for a week that year? I'd have thought at the rate he was going he'd have his own bedroom in no time. Wifey always was a bit soft in the head when Sirius was concerned."
"Harry can do it too sometimes but he doesn't realise he is, but you remember his mother? Lilly, she was something very different wasn't she."
"She was a stunner wasn't she and had the biggest heart imaginable?"
"She was and more than half the time Harry's more like her even if he doesn't realise it. He doesn't seem capable of the same daft arrogant ways as his father. Still got a lot of pride mind you, but I would never of... Well lets just say he's an honest young man that has to deal with a hell of a lot of problems on his own but still has a very big heart."
"What does he think of Sirius as his godfather? Or is his life kept closely guarded by Dumbledore?"
"Oh yes. Dumbledore keeps a very close watch over Harry, always has, but far as I can tell they get on ok. They spent some time together over the summer but Harry was having a few problems and it wasn't always a very cheery affair.' Lupin sighed again remembering how Sirius only seemed to be held together by his hair some evenings when Harry was in a particularly bad state.
'Sirius loved it though, it didn't matter to him however many times Harry through up over him. Sirius kept going back for more and Harry was ever so grateful in his own way. He's never had anybody to fuss over him like that and he's finally letting somebody take care of him. Plus, Sirius has finally come out of puberty, spends most his time doting on him. If it wasn't for Harry being totally insecure most the time I wonder if all the attention might go to his head." Lupin explained as Ted seemed to develop a rather curious expression.
"I'm glad, that boy needs some loving from what Tonks has said. Still the little women will be over the moon when she hears 'dear sweet little boy Sirius' is ok and he's got Harry to dote on as you put it. She was ever so upset when they dragged him off and we had her in hysterics when he escaped. She never did believe the rumours, always said he didn't have it in him to kill all those people." Ted explained a little sadly as they both sat in silence listening to the mother and daughter squabbling in the next room.
"But why did you bring him hear? What ever this weird landlord is like he must go out sometimes." Mrs Tonks's snapped.
"Well Sirius can't go out and he's always so stubborn, he won't let Remus alone with me for long enough, so I had to bring him somewhere else!" Tonks gulped then realised what she'd spat out in such a haste.
"What do you mean Sirius is so stubborn? Where've you been living? You said you we're living with Remus?" Her mother snapped looking rather confused as Tonks sighed heavily and started to explain slowly with the same stubborn cross face Sirius had when he couldn't see Harry.
"Well Remus is living with Sirius, it's his house and I've sort of moved in. He's lonely and he doesn't make me pay rent. And he cooks nice food for my tea when I get in and most the time he does my washing too." Tonks tried to explain but a light flicked on in her mothers head and she suddenly lost all her furious cross attributes and took on a whole load of other annoying ones.
"What you've seen him? How is he and why didn't you tell me I've been worried sick about him? Running around the country like a mad convict like that, escaping prison, what the hell has he been up to? I need to know my little Sirius is ok." She slapped her daughter hard on the arm in an attempt to make her talk quicker.
"Well he's board, he can't go out the house or anything so me and Remus keep him company. You know he was never suited for sitting around on his arse and he loves cooking when he's in a good mood. He loves it even more than kicking Kresher about the place and it's far more constructive." Tonks tried to explain but her mother had that dreaded look again.
"He's stuck in that wretched place he used to call home and you have him cooking and cleaning for you?" She snapped soaking up any information about her much missed cousin possible.
"He likes it, gives him something to do. He decorates as well you know, made a lovely job of re-tiling the bathroom." Tonks tried to explain off hand glad the subject had changed from Lupin's total nakedness with her, to dear sweet 'wonderful' Sirius.
"Well I guess it must be difficult, but at least he's not scrapping around in some dreadful hole. Does he seem ok, he must be totally innocent then mustn't he, that sweet little boy would never go against James for anything and they said he murdered all those people too, what was all that about?"
"Oh yes he's totally innocent it was Peter that betrayed the Potters and framed Sirius. He's still alive somewhere working for you-know-who. Harry was a right mess when he met him again, the idiot had been pretending to be a pet of one of his friends."
"What that horrible lumpy boy that hero worshiped Sirius turned out to be the traitor? My god and all this time he's been pretending to be dead, I was sure it wasn't Sirius but I couldn't believe it would be that other friend Remus, Sirius always said such nice things about him, well up until his last visit. And what you going on about Harry? You mean the famous one, Sirius's godchild?"
"Yes the famous one!' Tonks rolled her eyes and received another slap on the are for being so flippant.
'I told you I see him every now and then in the holidays and I've been working up at the school some weeks as well. Like everybody else it never occurred to him Peter would be the one passing information. And Remus is such a nice man, honestly. Anyway, Sirius does ask about you every now and then, he likes to hear how you are and things it was one of the first things he said to me when Dumbledore introduced him again."
"Oh I'm so glad he's ok. I don't suppose there's anyway I could get to see him is there."
"No afraid not, we have to be careful about coming and going but we all chip in to keep him company. Now, seen as Remus is such a nice friend of 'dear sweet little boy Sirius's' will you try and be nice to him? I think you gave him such a shock coming home like that." Tonks asked a little sarcastically but actually very worried her mother may have scared her beloved Wolfie off somewhat.
"Gave him a shock!' Andromeda huffed.
'But I suppose seen as he looks after my dear Sirius, but I'm still in a bit of shock. You never bring boyfriends home and I'm beginning to wonder if you'll ever settle down with a man. But I suppose this is better than nothing."
"Mother he's really nice, you'll like him I promise, if you haven't frighten him off already, it's taken me ages to get him to go out with me. He thinks he's not good enough for me because of his stupid monthly's but he is, honestly mother, you'd like him if you were just nice to him a bit."
"I'm sure I will. Will he stop for dinner then? What does he like to eat, I hope he doesn't mind vegetarians?" She asked flicking her wand so the pots started to wash themselves.
"That won't be a problem and he doesn't even drink much. He's just a bit shy that's all." Tonks quickly added seeing her mother's final look of acceptance and sighing with relief that the worst was probably over, for now.
"From what I herd down here it didn't sound like you had confidence issues to me?" Ted laughed at himself as Lupin's face turned bright red and he quickly had a cold drink of water before Tonks and her mother came in the room painfully politely to see him. He quickly jumped to his feet and looked at Tonks for help but she merely smiled weekly and tried to give a nod of encouragement.
"I'd like you to stay for dinner Remus it would be nice to get to know you properly." Mrs Tonks asked but Lupin could tell this was more of an order than any sort of suggestion.
"Sure that would be nice." He tried to explain but then seeing the black haired witch with her proud features suddenly remembered Sirius and checked his watch.
"I just need to send a message to someone and then I'm all yours."
"Is it Sirius, I know your looking after him see and will you please tell him I want to here from him soon. Even if it's one of his lovely little postcards he used to make for me." She quickly asked as Tonks roller her eyes behind her mother; fortunately Lupin was too confused and embarrassed still to react sufficiently so Andromeda wouldn't notice anything.
"Sure I won't be a minuet." He explained quickly following Tonks through the kitchen and into the back garden.
"You'll be fine just try not to talk about him too much because that's all she's going to bleeding ask about now." Tonks explained as Lupin started scribbling a message with his wand on an old bit of paper.
"Well what can I talk about then?" He asked nervously.
"Anything you like, dad will probably make a lot of crude jokes about us, but he's ok really and I guess it would keep you in mum's good books if you talk about him for a bit.' She continued.
'What you telling him then anyway? I bet you don't put the truth about how she first met you on my bedroom floor?" Tonks laughed.
"Of course I'm not going to and don't you dare tell him. Meeting fathers are one thing but Padfoot, he's an evil bastard when it comes to your family, you know the only reason he hasn't threatened me with a serious severing charm is because he has the firm belief that I'm so pathetic I'd never get it up and you into bed anyway!"
Lupin whispered quietly back as he tapped the paper three times with his wand so the ink disappeared off to the corresponding letter back in Sirius's bedroom drawer, you could never put that much but for quick messages that meant nothing to know-one else it was ok and they were yet to find a way to intercept it.
"Well he was wrong wasn't he!" Tonks laughed as she led the way back into the kitchen. Lupin found himself been pushed down into a chair next to Ted and Tonks as her mother had long since given up asking for any help the kitchen by her clumsy daughter. The last time she asked for help in the kitchen by her husband nine months later Tonks popped out with a bit of effort.
"Do you like lentil soup Remus?" Ted asked quietly as his wife busied about the room and Tonks tried her best to watch all three and judge their reactions so she could keep the peace.
"Yeah it's ok, why?" Remus replied trying not to look at Tonks for fear of grinning like a stupid school boy with a crush.
"Coz it's all we bloody get these days. I hant had a decent steak in years and now she's decided to go all vegetarian as well as organic." He muttered as Lupin smirked and Tonks and her mother rolled their eyes behind his back.
"I can see why that would bother you!" He decided diplomatically not wanting to get on the wrong side of Tonks's mother but also quiet liking her father and his old man ways.
"Yeah well hopefully seen as you're a werewolf and all she might start cooking some decent meaty foods again, if you come round for dinner more often that is." He grinned nodding to his wife and rolling his eyes as Andromeda tutted slightly as if to say 'no such thing matey, your strictly on the healthy diet!'
"Bring Sirius with you and I might even get proper home made thick creamy trifle and hot custard as well." He added with a little knowing look. At this though even Tonks had to agree that they probably would get a five course thick creamy meal if Sirius turned up for dinner one day.
"We can only hope." Remus replied then smiled best he could to Andromeda, just as Ted had predicted she heated up some home made lentil soup and seeded brown bread.
Well at least it was healthy he decided, taking his bowl and trying his best to smile subtly at Tonks who shrugged and started on her own meal quiet used to healthy home made stuff.
"So your Sirius's friend from school aren't you?" Andromeda began politely as Ted rolled his eyes sighed then started eating politely.
"Yeah that's right. He always said nice things about you, said you were his favourite relative." Remus added hoping to try and improve on his first impression of literally screwing her daughter like a mad werewolf as she arrived home to see them.
"I'm glad, he was always such a nice young man." She explained politely supping at her dinner with far more grace than her daughter making Lupin smirk inwards.
"And what do you do now?" She asked and Lupin could feel that uncomfortable unemployed thing cropping up soon but was also thankful of Tonks's scowl behind her bread and Ted's smirk behind his.
"What ever crops up really?" He tried to explained off hand but Ted, although he didn't have half the subtly of his wife seemed to have taken a liking to Remus and put in a helpful word.
"It's ok, I never kept a job very long in my adult life either and we managed perfectly fine." He declared making Lupin feel if anything even worse now he was caught between Tonks's scowling at her mothers questions, her mothers scowling at her husbands bluntness and Ted's shocking ability to make difficult inappropriate comments with the greatest of ease.
Of course there was also the annoying feeling in the back of his head that Sirius would actually find this highly entertaining whether he had a normal life or not, just to sit in the corner as a dog and watch would be his idea of a brilliantly entertaining afternoon, through in James watching from where ever he was and Lupin felt like he was on the wizarding version of big brother.
"Yes well Ted you were an oddball weren't you!"
"And you married me!" He laughed taking another bread roll and grinning away but Remus had to agree he did have a point there.
"Remus was telling me earlier while you two hens clucked in the kitchen about what a fine young man the Potter boy is turning into." He began before his wife could get any further into her interrogation.
"Well I'm glad, from what I've heard he seems to have a lot of troubles every now and then." She added politely.
"He does, but he seems to mange ok, especially now he gets to talk Sirius so often."
"What, Sirius still gets to be his godfather?" She suddenly wondered.
"Of course, who else would James have looking after him. He still has to go stay with his other family every now and then like always and Dumbledore keeps him safely locked away at school most the time but he's seems really rather fond of Sirius and comes to see him in the holidays when Dumbledore decides it's safe enough."
"Really, I thought he never left that school, I heard the new ministry is trying to get hold of him but Dumbledore won't let anybody near the boy."
"They are and no Dumbledore doesn't let anybody near him who isn't, err, pre-approved by Dumbledore. It's just not safe anymore for him, even in the wizarding world and Dumbledore doesn't want Harry to have to put up with things like the ministry until he's ready. Officially he never leaves the school. And unofficially he never leaves Dumbledore's watchful eye." Lupin explained plainly pleased how Tonks had told her parents already about some of things she does for Dumbledore.
"Scrimgeour's even got people posted in Hogsmade to try and catch him leaving the school or just wandering around by himself on a school visit. That's why Sirius sent us up to meet him today. So he could at least get some fresh air like his friends without being hassled by anyone." Tonks continued on Lupin's behalf pleased her mother was softening a very tiny bit.
"So that's what you do on your days off? Go up and down the country for Sirius and Dumbledore?" She asked peering closely at her daughter.
"Mum it's not like I'm working all day every day."
"You never come home dear these days. You spend all your time working or sneaking off."
"No I don't, I get more free time now than I used to but I help out with more important things now instead of playing on my dratted play station as you put it." Tonks snapped back.
"But you're getting so skinny dear you used to have a lovely full figure dear and now you're all skin and bones."
"Mum just because I was fat nearly all my life doesn't mean I'm too skinny now, besides Sirius does some good cooking these days, he's finally stopped putting chili in everything!" Tonks replied in her mother-daughter way. Lupin wanted to vouch for Tonks on her eating having seen her eat just as much as Sirius does on a hungry day and never puts an ounce on of weight on and by half he's looked closely to see if she does.
"It's true he does seem to be able to cook for some reason.' Lupin added.
'Can't fathom how, he could never cook before!"
"Why would he put chili in everything?" Andromeda asked scowling like her daughter does when she concentrates on something important and happened to be in a slightly bad mood.
"I think he was fed up of eating rats and has finally got his taste buds back to be honest, he eats constantly though now. He's put on a load of weight, he'd never fit though them prison bars now so were going for the never get caught again approach." Tonks explained a little too chirpily.
"Good for him, I bet he never got a decent meal in that hell hole, not that most of me don't deserve it mind you." Ted added quickly butting in before his wife had formed her words.
"He ate a lot of rats?" Andromeda asked putting her spoon down stunned at the very thought of her dear Sirius eating rats.
"Yeah well, he said they're easier to catch than birds and he was always moving around, people would notice if he started stealing food too often."
"But he lived off rats, how come he never caught the plague or something." She continued unable to eat her own pleasant food with the thought of Sirius living on a diet of rats so clearly in her mind.
"He err, has a very strong stomach, he can eat almost anything. Managed to cook a pigeon once or twice but decided the wings and feathers were too much hassle for the amount of edible meat he got." Tonks pondered thoughtfully.
"He hasn't had rats in over a year though now. Harry won't let him." Lupin added hoping this wasn't going to develop much further, Sirius may have a strong stomach but Remus certainly didn't, rats for dinner wasn't what he considered a delicacy.
"Oh well, I still think I'd like to send him a doggy bag if you don't mind giving it to him Remus?" She finally decided picking up her spoon again.
"No of course not, I'm sure he'll like it." Lupin tried to reply with a plain face given that he was being strangely reminded of Molly Weasley and Sirius all at the same time and hoped it didn't crop up with Tonks as he was sure all concerned would find the image offensive.
For now though he tried to concentrate on his dinner and having got past the odd serious lack of meaty stock that he usually put in his food he found it quiet nice.
He was however trying not to get too warm again as he was well aware he was covered in Tonks's dried sweat and although it was doing it's best to turn him on, he didn't think it was something Ted would find funny. Even if his little girl did, she was after all still His little Nymphi and always will be.
They managed to get through soup and even some home made cakes with out too much trouble, Lupin seemed to spend a lot of time talking as Mrs Tonks seemed determined to ask him a lot of questions. He didn't mind too much, at least they didn't have that odd disapproving look when they worked out he was a werewolf, but still, he wouldn't call it enjoyable. Until Andromeda brought up a subject Tonks had been hoping she wouldn't.
"So may I ask, was it you that crushed my dear pansy's by the front gate when someone brought Tonks home completely drunk a few weeks ago?" She asked bringing out some coffee and eyeing Lupin dangerously.
"Err, I'm sure I didn't squash your plants but I did bring her home, didn't want her wandering around by herself in that state and Sirius would have gone nuts if I brought her back to him like that.' Lupin explained hoping it wasn't him that had crushed the plants as judging by the garden and the hundred books pilled up by the stairs she was probably a dangerously keen gardener.
'He's very, erm, dangerously over affection about things like that and spent hours making me ill the following day with his over greasy fried breakfast." Lupin explained cautiously.
"Hmm, well at least you had the decency to see her home safely." She decided sitting down and handing Lupin a cup.
"Mum I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself." Tonks declared scooping sugar into her cup.
"Not in that state you weren't. You were trying to break in through the open window because you couldn't find your key again. And then you managed to topple the table over when you were sick again, all over my new carpet and all." She chided as Tonks went a little redder around the cheeks and both Ted and Lupin had to look away from her so not as to burst out laughing.
"Yeah well, I dropped it in that pot of sick and didn't want to pick it out again." She tried to explain quietly.
"You never said you through up?" Lupin asked having injured hours of torment by Sirius for hanging his head in the toilet half the day.
"Yeah well, I wasn't about to let him wind me up like he did you. He spent most the following day eating fry up's outside your room didn't he and wafting the smell over your nose when you slept to see how green you'd go before you woke up!"
"Yeah he's quiet horrible sometimes isn't he." Lupin replied remembering how dreadful he'd felt that day and how Sirius had found it almost as fun as having Harry around to wind him up about it.
"My dear sweet little Sirius is not horrible, it severs you right for dinking too much doesn't it!" Andromeda snapped leaving Lupin in no doubt she didn't approve of drinking too much and no body was aloud to say anything against Her sweet Sirius in this house.
"You know mum you'd probably get on very well with Harry?" Tonks suddenly explained.
"Why's that dear?" Ted asked supping at his cup politely enjoying the entertainment for the week.
"He's stupidly and inappropriately besotted by Sirius as well." She decided clearly, Lupin could only agree with her and Andromeda decided she probably would like to meet Harry leaving Ted to merely smirk and stole another biscuit when he thought his wife wasn't looking.
"That's enough for you!" She snapped slapping his hand as he cheekily stuffed half the biscuit in his mouth. After a few moments of quiet Lupin's pocket watch began to chime and he quickly pulled a bottle out his pocket.
"Err, I have to drink this hope you don't mind." He quickly added pulling the top off and downing the contents in two or three quick gulps. He put the lid back on and shoved it back in his pocket before quickly magicing up a glass of water and drinking that quickly as well.
"It's his wolfsbane." Tonks explained to a slightly confused mother.
"Oh ok." Understanding now why it was so important he drank it quickly.
"It tastes foul but I still drink it." Luipn explained after finishing his rather disgusted facial expressions as it all washed down.
"Well if it's good for you it will taste foul. Now would you like another cup of coffee?" Andromeda asked taking his cup and looking at Tonks.
"Well actually I shouldn't stop too much longer. Sirius will be getting restless again if I leave him too long. I swear he's worst than a flaming puppy sometimes for trying to chew up the furniture." Lupin explained which was usually true, Sirius was often worse than a dog or actually a dog chewing on the furniture because he had tooth ache and had forgotten about wizarding dentistry.
His wanting to go though had more to do with the fact that he usually got grouchy and sometimes offensive without meaning to after taking his first potion of the month. Not to mention worn out for no reason and he had had a bit of a busy day already.
"Oh yeah sure, why don't you go and sit in the front room with Nymphadora and Ted while I pack up a doggy bag for Sirius, won't be long, got some more cake round here somewhere." She started clearing the table and after offering to help he did as he was told and headed into the living room with Ted and Tonks.
"You don't have to go you know?" Ted asked sitting down in his chair and picking up his paper.
"No I should really get going I was meant to be back with his stuff hours ago." Lupin explained looking at Tonks.
"Oh well, as long as you come back some time soon with maybe a few more clothes on." He grinned sealing his lips the moment Andromeda came in with a little bag and a small tin. Lupin hid them away in his cloak that Tonks had retrieve from the landing and got up to leave as well.
"It was nice meeting you Remus your welcome back any time soon." She explained nicely.
"Thanks." He managed standing up and pulling his cloak on.
"Err, Nymphadora you and I are going to have a little chat, now show your friend out nicely and take that horrid black cloak off." She continued with the politest smile and tone imaginable. Tonks rolled her eyes but did as she was told and walked Lupin out to the front gate and pointed him in the right direction to a dark ally where he could apperate safely from.
"You shouldn't worry about me Remus, I can handle mum but do you mind err, keeping quiet from Sirius I err, don't want to?" Tonks started.
"Rub his nose in it?" Lupin helped.
"Yeah something like that."
"I won't. Are you coming back later or do I have to wait days and days before I can get you on your own again?" He asked sounding a little too hopeful he thought.
"I'll try, even if I have to break out the roof again. But I think I best clean my room a bit before I go." She grinned kissing him on the cheek.
"Yeah, sorry about that." Lupin smiled back down at her resisting the urge to kiss her too much.
"Don't worry about it, I had fun!" She grinned giving him a half hug and another kiss before finally saying good bye.