DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR THE AKATSUKI (AS MUCH AS I WISH) OR VICTORIA'S SECRET OR PAIN BY THREE DAYS GRACE.

AKATSUKI GOES TO THE MALL

CHAPTER 2

"I'm going to the piercing parlor," stated Pein.

"See ya." Itachi kept walking straight, looking around for something that might interest him.

"Itachi, where do you want to go? I'm already bored!" said Hidan in a whiney voice.

"Hmm… let's go look for Deidara, there's too many posters." Itachi stopped. "Bye the way Hidan, there's a cop outside the mall." He pointed through the glass door.

OUTSIDE

"Yes, office- hey, that's him!" She pointed at Hidan through the door.

INSIDE

"Aren't you going to run?" Itachi raised a brow and turned to Hidan just to notice that he was already on the other side of the mall. He sweat dropped and sighed. "I should have just stayed in Konoha." He walked ahead.

KISAME AND SASORI

Sasori and Kisame were walking and looking around when suddenly… "OH HIDAN'S GOD!" Kisame screamed.

"What is it Kisame?" Sasori looked up at him. Kisame pointed in front of him.

"Orochimaru." Sasori's eyes went big in shock. Yes, the store that had once been called Victoria's secret was now called "Orochimaru's Secret". In the window, mannequins of Orochimaru wearing Orochimaru's "secret things" stood.

"I think I went blind! Worse than Itachi!" declared Sasori.

"I think one of them winked at me. " Poor Kisame twitched violently.

WITH ITACHI

"Hmm… I wonder where everyone is." Itachi walked through the mall, holding about 12 shopping bags. He entered the arcade where Tobi and Kakuzu were. "Tobi." Itachi called him but Tobi was to into his game. "Tobi." Again, Tobi didn't turn.

SPOILER WARNING!! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ, SKIP TO WHERE IT SAYS END OF SPOILER, PAST THE ITALICS!!

"GOD DAMMIT MADARA TURN!" Tobi jumped and put a hand to where his mouth was supposed to be.

"How do you know I'm Madara?" Tobi asked.

"You were my teacher you dumbass."

END OF SPOILER

"Oh…right." He stopped for a second. "So does what Itachi want from Tobi?"

"Where's Zetsu?"

"Zetsu went to go get food." Itachi looked annoyed since he knew what food meant to Zetsu.

"When did he leave?"

"Tobi thinks about…one hour ago." Itachi left and on the way he saw Kakuzu steal some tokens from a little kid who was to busy to notice and was rubbing them against his cheek, muttering something that sounded like, "Tokens, sweet, sweet tokens! And they're all mine! Hahahaha!". Itachi tried to put it out of his mind.

WITH DEIDARA

Deidara was to busy running away from security to notice where he was going and accidently went into Orochimaru's Secret. He hid behind a mannequin. Deidara looked up and saw it was actually a mannequin that had been created to look like Itachi and was dressed in ladies underwear. He laughed his butt off and pulled out his cell phone to take a picture. "Itachi san's going to kill Orochimaru when he see's this, un!" When the flash went off, Deidara turned to look at Hidan.

SILENCE

"Do I want to ask?" Hidan questioned the blonde, who was now waving his hands in front of him. The mouths on his hand looked as if they were laughing, probably at the Itachi mannequin.

"It's not what you think!" Deidara said.

"There she is!" Dozens of security guards where about to enter Orochimaru's Secret but stopped when they realized what store it was. "Well…she has to come out sometime," said one of the security guards whose eye was starting to twitch after a short glance at the name of the store.

"FOR THE LAST TIME I AM A GUY, UN!!"

"Deidara…"

"Yes, Hidan?"

"What fucking store are we in?"

"I don't know, but I'm too scared to find out, un!" said Deidara, who was trying to keep himself from looking around the store. There wasn't anyone in the entire store to ask either. A tumbleweed passed by.

"Hey isn't that that fucking son of a bitch Itachi?" Hidan pointed at Itachi through the mob of security guards.

"I think it is, un."

ITACHI

Itachi looked and notice that the store that had once been Victoria's Secret had turned to Orochimaru's Secret. The other thing that he noticed was the dozens of security guards and cops. "Somehow, I just know that Deidara and Hidan are in there." He kept walking, not bothering to help.

EARLIER….

"Stupid guys. They ditched me." Konan was looking for some few interesting stores but found Orochimaru himself. "Hey Orochimaru!" She waved at him. Orochimaru turned.

"Konan… Damn it, why'd I turn?"

"I haven't seen you in a long time!" She was about to hug him but he stepped back.

"Yeah… nice to see you again…" he said in an unwilling voice. How the hell do I get out of this?!' "Hey look at the time!" Konan simply stared and blinked like an idiot. "Look it's umm… PEIN GETTING PIERCINGS!!" He pointed behind her.

"Where?!" she turned. Orochimaru ran in the meantime. "I don't see hi- Orochimaru?" She shrugged. "He probably had things to do."

Kuri sama: REVIEW PEOPLE, REVIEW! I GOT 70 HITS AND ONLY 4 REVIEWED!! THAT'S SAD!!

HIDAN: REVIEW GOD DAMMIT OR I WILL FUCKING SACRIFICE ALL OF YOU TO JASHIN SAMA!!

DEIDARA: Stop scaring them, un.

ITACHI: …Pathetic…. (from far away because he has felt Kuri sama's wrath before and doesn't want to go through it again.)

Puky: Yes, well, just please do as they say. It was really sad. Hours of hard work, my back was in pain-

Pein: PAIN, WITHOUT LOVE! PAIN, I CAN'T GET-

ALL: SHUT THE HELL UP, FOR THE LAST TIME!!

Puky: sorry about that. Anyways, from typing this on a very hot day in a very hot room. Now Deidara, get back here, I'm not finished painting your fingernails...