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Usagi was watching TV, her favourite program. Before her, a bag of chips was placed, next to her – the plate of small cookies with raisins.
Seems she only came here to watch TV, Mamoru thought. He was sitting near her with crossed arms, pretending to enjoy the show. Usagi stretched her hand to take another cookie but reached farther and grabbed her fiancé's palm.
"You don't like it, do you, Mamo-chan?" she inquired anxiously with tilted head. He smiled vaguely and decided not to lie.
"Yes," he nodded, almost asking for forgiveness, "I'm sorry, Usako."
Why does she always address me "Mamo-chan"? It starts to irritate me sometimes.
Usagi put the cookies aside and moved nearer to Mamoru.
"If you don't like it, let's stop watching it," she grinned widely. Mamo-chan is not glad, something bothers him. What is it?
He clasped the girl and kissed the top of her head, inhaling deeply the scent of her hair. Then his lips slipped down slowly to her ear. He brushed it gently, hugging her tighter.
"I love you," he muttered, leaning backward to catch her eyes.
"I love you too," her eyes were those of the bird hypnotized by the snake. She wanted to run away, he could see that. Anyway he proceeded, expecting her doubts to fade away.
Usagi answered the kiss, her lips trembled slightly. She embraced his neck with her fragile arms, adding to his arousal. She even managed to groan weakly.
There is no fire here, nothing burns, he grabbed her waist desperately. She is cold. Just cold. How do we have created Chibiusa if she's that way?
"Mamo-chan, what is wrong?" she whispered, her soft lips touched the side of his neck, making him gasp, "I love you."
"I was going to ask YOU what is wrong," he suppressed the disappointment when she took advantage of the break in his manipulations and adjusted her shirt quickly, "I think you didn't like what I was doing."
"Eeee," she blushed, "That's not true."
She lies and she doesn't even know about it, Mamoru took the cookie and crushed it in his mouth. She's sure we love each other and everything is perfect. But how the hell could I touch her heart? She is so distant, she doesn't understand what I mean. She can't see her own frightened face and pleading eyes. If she could maybe she would understand.
"That was bad idea," he turned TV on, "Let's finish watching the program."
"Mamo-chan?" Usagi's eyes were so big, trusting, innocent and worried, "Tell me, what is wrong?"
"Nothing," he sighed, enclosing her with his arm, "I'm sorry."
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Healer woke up in her room. She thanked heavens it was still dark because she couldn't bear the light of a day upon her, upon her forbidden, sinful desires. She hit the mattress with her fist, cursing herself. The dream she had was still surfacing her mind, making her flush from her tiptoes to the top of her head. In that dream she was looking into the most beautiful eyes in the world, narrow distrustful eyes of her companion.
Oh no, she jumped out of her bed and started to hurl around the room, Don't think of that!
Those eyes belonged to someone she loved. But she never supposed she could love that person in THAT way.
That was just a dream! the short Senshi tugged her hair and tightened her eyelids, You have to forget it!
That person in her dream was Maker. At least he was Maker... before.
Healer fell to her knees and leant against the bed, her head resting on her arms.
Taiki, she breathed, pressing her temples, "Please, I'll stand everything but not that."
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The famous car racer, Haruka Tenou, was confused. It wasn't easy to confuse her. Anyway when she met Rei in her shrine, she was confused. She told Rei how she was driving down the street the last night and she encountered Mamoru... or rather someone very similar to him because she didn't believe it could be him. The drunk, tottering man with his jacket slipping down from his arms in pitiful way, not fitting neat Mamoru-san they knew before.
Rei repaid Haruka with her own story of the one memorable day from month ago. Senshi agreed thatthe situation was strange and suspicious, requiring the farther investigation. They decided Haruka will meet Mamoru and talk to him. And she did.
Usagi knew none of that even if all of her friends gradually became involved. For some reason nobody wanted to talk to her about Mamoru.
Haruka's investigation didn't go well. He didn't want to cooperate and derided of her to rise a redundant alarm. Finally he became annoyed and she could sense something hidden within him what he didn't want to reveal. It had to be admitted thatthey never were very good friends so Haruka had to retreat. Before walking away she remarked thateveryone was worried and they wouldn't give up.
Usagi spent that night in his flat. Mamoru urged to repeat their wonderful first night but it seemed to be impossible.
She is so submissive. Too submissive. Lifeless! There are no signs of pleasure, I can't tell if she likes it. If I stop I'll be suspected of having not enough love for her. If I continue, I will be alone. I will feel like exploiting her.
Usagi quivered when he moved backward, his desire obviously fading away. She wanted everything to go perfectly, their love to shine brightly, but she didn't know what was the real problem.
"Mamo-chan..." she whispered with heart-breaking voice and he frowned.
"I think it would be better if you didn't call me Mamo-chan all the time. It sounds a bit... childish, you know."
Usagi's lower lip trembled and she nodded eagerly.
"Of course, if you don't like it I will call you Mamoru. Is it okay?"
It's getting worse and worse. Doesn't he love me anymore? Why did he stop touching me? Doesn't he like my body? Maybe I grew fat?
Mamoru clasped her and kissed her forehead. Like anelder brother, he snorted to himself.
They went to bed.
In the middle of the night Usagi jumped out of the bed, screaming. She fell down and grabbed her head, clenching her eyelids and uttering the horrifying, ear piercing shriek. Mamoru shook her arms, drawing her out from the nightmare. She opened her eyes slowly.
"What was that?"
"It is always the same," she lowered her head, "I'm sorry I woke you up."
"It's okay! I just want you to talk to me, I want to help you!" he embraced her tightly, "Come to bed, stop sitting on that cold floor..."
He laid her on the bed and covered her with the coverlet. Her teeth were chattering.
"It was Galaxia", Usagi's voice was so tired, "The girls lost their Star Seeds and I was alone... I was totally alone, like never before..."
I never thought one can be so alone. I lost everything. The only ones who left to support me were Starlights...
"Don't talk about that," she squeezed his hand, "Please..."
"I think you should talk about that! Or it will grow within you and smother you," Mamoru drew the forelock from her forehead.
What can I tell you? You'll never know how I suffered. You'll never know what truly happened, how close I was to losing faith. I almost surrendered because I was alone. And then he helped me to take that challenge, he helped me even if he knew it would separate us forever.
"Mamo-chan," she murmured sleepily, "Let's finish it in the morning, okay? I love you."
"I love you too."
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It is over. I offered her my love and she didn't want to take it. I can't look in her eyes again. It would be too humiliating, too heartbreaking. It's better for us both not to see each other. Especially if she refuses to be the one I always knew...
Kakyuu leant over the pool and looked at her reflection. The rejected Princess. I'm pitiful, she sneered to herself, wiping her tears. She didn't know Healer was observing her from a distance. Poor Princess, Senshi thought, how Fighter could push away such a extraordinary, compassionate, beautiful woman? I'll never get it. Anyway I'll talk to her. I can't leave it the way it is.
Fighter wasn't in her room. Healer was surprised and she hit the wall with fist, expressing her frustration. Where could she go? Then the flash of enlightenment lit her mind. Maker's room!
When she knocked the door, Maker opened it after a long while. Healer peeped in searchingly and Maker rose her brow.
"What is it?" she asked with the tone suggesting Healer wasn't very welcome.
"Is Seiya here?" the short Senshi decided not to play courtesy games.
"S-Seiya?" Maker stepped back with startle but composed herself quickly, "You mean Fighter?"
"I mean what I mean," Healer moved forward, "I want to talk to him."
"You're pretty self-confident," Maker grasped Healer's shoulder and she shivered. Don't touch me. I have to forget you and Taiki are the same person. Seems I am the only one who can fix our relationships so I can't collapse now. Don't touch me.
She cast an icy glance at Maker and the taller Senshi released her arm. Then she went in and Maker shut the door.
Seiya revealed himself, making Maker enraged. She hissed angrily and passed by him.
"We did our best not to let anyone know. You can't ruin it so easily!"
"But she already knows," Seiya adjusted his clothes, "How did you learn about me?"
"I was spying on you," Healer answered at once.
"Don't you think it is none of your business?"
"Everything what involves the Princess is my business!" Healer replied.
"I see... So it was you who made her talk to me?"
"Seiya, please stop that madness... We are Senshi, we always were..." Healer addressed her former friend pleadingly, "We made our dreams come true, we came home and got back everything. Aren't you satisfied yet?"
Seiya turned his head aside.
"I didn't make my dreams come true yet," he answered so sadly it wrenched his companions' hearts.
"You know your dreams can't..." Healer started and was interfered.
"My dreams are not to bediscussed about. Definitely. And about our duties... Where do you think that form comes from?" Seiya indicated at himself, "I know you forgot. I forgot too. We forgot who we were at the beginning, before we became Senshi."
"But what matters the most is our destiny. We are intended for being guardians who protect that planet and its people!"
Seiya's eyes began to burn and the blood coloured his cheeks. He moved nearer to Healer and bent to look straight into shorter Senshi's eyes.
"I won't deny my own feelings!!" he exclaimed.