Chapter twenty- eight - 'Your getting as bad as our mother ya know!'
"What a brilliant party Sirius, you've really out done yourself making this place look..." Fred explained clapping a hand on Sirius's shoulder as his brother followed suit with the other shoulder.
"Hell almost like its Christmas!" George finished for him.
"Yeah well, I'm not the only one living hear now am I? Tonks does seem to insist on making most the key rooms more female, I can't see why though she's never been remotely girly!"
"You don't have to be girly to be cleanly Sirius!" Fred explained as his brother nodded in agreement and with a mock serious expression plastered across his face.
"She's got pink hair Sirius and you don't think she's a bit girly!" George added, as now his brother nodded in agreement with there matching cheeky grins.
When Sirius thought about it properly, they reminded him so much of how he and James used to be, but just before he became over come with a frequent nostalgia mood, that no-one could ever notice were positive, he was brought crashing back to reality by two giddy red heads.
"In a tomboyish sort of way, no I don't think she is. You know she's nearly as scruffy as I am, Lupin's the only one that keeps this place tidy, kicks up a fuss when we make it look like slobs live here, until somebody tides up." Sirius explained trying his best to sound jolly now he was out of his dream world.
"I bet you think it's always you that cleans up too?"
"It is!" Sirius complained.
"Yeah well it's not as if you go out much Sirius."
"I suppose, but don't rub it in." Sirius grumbled.
"We won't!"
"Promise."
"On I brighter note, Harry seems to be getting on better now since his troubles in the summer." Fred explained sounding for once a little serious.
"Yeah he does seem better but I think it still bothers him some times. He's not been right this week one bit." Sirius explained absentmindedly, he was so glad to see Harry up and about talking with people but he had the horrible nagging suspicion that this days break of him behaving almost normal was only going to be short lived. Especially as Sirius still hadn't got to the bottom of the problems anyway.
"What does?"
"Never mind, I'm just glad to see him laughing again."
"Like a little girl again."
"Yeah we are too and he's been really good with Ginny."
"He has?" Sirius wondered what on earth the twins were considering good work by Harry when it came to there little sister.
"Yeah after he talked to her we haven't heard any reports about her harlet ways, nearly all year!" At this Sirius had reason to believe that the two older brothers had slightly less information than he did but was quiet sure it was in Harry's best interest not to drop any hints to what he thinks might having been going off between Harry and there clearly beloved little sister however odd they were about showing it.
"Oh well I suppose she does seem to be calming down a little bit. She causes just as much trouble though with her mother doesn't she?" Sirius explained curious as to what take the twins took on the mother hen from hell.
"Oh yeah, just we don't think mum gets to hear about most things these days!"
"What with her spying on Tonks and Lupin all the time!"
"Yeah, no wonder she thinks Ginny's trying to abandon the family." George put in thoughtfully, which would have seemed rather mature if it wasn't for his brother's mocking egger agreement and the fact that neither of them had ever shown much thoughtful maturity before to Sirius.
"Hmm." Sirius wondered.
"That is why she's now moved in, isn't it, coz those to are at it?" They both winked broadly over at where Tonks was stood trying to get away from Mrs Weasley's forced politeness. Lupin was obviously hiding somewhat out of reach talking to Podmore, glad he didn't have to contend with Mrs Weasley on his own. Podmore kept giving him heads up so he could run away when she seemed out of ammo and looking for a new target as the pair quickly moved out of her eye shot.
"I don't know what your talking about boys, Tonks was having problems with her flat so I said she could stop here as long as she likes and well, Lupin has a minor, well major actually, cash flow problem at the moment so I told him to stay too."
"Yeah really!" They laughed together.
"Your getting as bad as your mother ya know." Sirius put in quickly, sure it wouldn't be enough to offend them enough to stop, but he was quiet happy being ignorant of Tonks and Lupin and no two cheeky red headed Weasley twins were going to ruin it for him.
"Oi, take that back we aint never as bad as her!" They snapped together.
"As bad as who?" Mrs Weasley asked firmly with her hands dangerously close to being on her hips along with the usual cross expression.
"Nothing mother, we have to go deal with some business now." George explained moving to stand either side of Sirius with Fred.
"Sirius why don't you show us those Dixy droppings now." Fred put in hopefully leading the way away.
They quickly left the room to get away from the dreaded mother as Harry uncomfortably noticed that Sirius had gone. This left Harry talking to Lupin and someone he barely knew called Sturgis Podmore.
He'd only met Podmore a few times and didn't really know him very well, although he found watching Lupin and Podmore talking about what it was like at Hogwarts from a teachers point of view rather amusing in a weird sort of way. They'd both only lasted a year at the Defence Against the dark arts job like so many other teachers between them and were wondering who would get the job next year as the current one was unlikely to be the first to last two years.
"Lupin always speaks very highly of you Harry, said you always manage to get top marks in whatever you gave him." Podmore suddenly asked, wanting Harry to join in the conversation more after noticing that the famous boy so often praised for his manners hadn't said a word in a while.
"It's easy in some ways, I get a lot of practice at it." Harry explained quietly whishing he could hide his scar better with his long hair, but really, it was longer than his eyes now, how long did it need to be to get sufficient coverage?
Mrs Weasley had recently taken to offering to cut it at every chance she got, as Ron flatly refused to go under the scissors and although Harry admitted it was getting long, and sometimes a bit annoying he wasn't going to let anybody but a proper barber near it. After asking both Ginny and Sirius's opinion he'd decided that really, he liked it being long even now the weather had gone hot and despite Mrs Weasley, he had no intention of cutting it off any time soon.
"I suppose in a lot of ways you have had more practice than most your year." Podmore admitted cutting into his Christmas cake and taking a bite.
"Besides Hermione was always better at most of it anyway, except in her exam, Ron laughed away at that for weeks. It was really quiet sad to be honest." Harry explained more to himself and sort of Lupin than Podmore who was obviously going to need more of an explanation from Lupin later.
He knew the basics about Hermione, as did all of the order but having never had an in-depth conversation with her about house elf rights he really hadn't had enough of the Hermione experience to comment on her.
Harry though, was feeling tired now having stopped up late 'talking and stuff' with Ginny the first night and since then had had to suffer sleepless nights of dark ally's screaming mothers and Dementors afterwards. Harry was sure he'd been talking in his sleep again because when Sirius regularly came to get him up with an odd expression that had been pushed aside far too quickly. He also had the odd feeling in the pit of his stomach that something dreadful was going to happen again soon and felt there was probably nothing he could do about it. Harry had had this feeling before and it always frightened him because every time it was truly justified in his stomach ache.
Charlie had finally turned up out of hiding with a bit of a scarred cheek and uncomfortable stance with his left knee, after almost jumping over the sofa to get away from his mother he was now avidly talking away to Tonks behind Lupin about the latest weird sisters album, as Podmore took up the topic of the Daily Prophet.
Charlie just couldn't cope with his mother anymore and although really he should be resting, he'd decided to 'rest' somewhere else for a few days as a little treat of a holiday.
Harry tried to turn away to his own cake now and scan the room in silence for Sirius's barking laugh again. But eventually he decided Sirius must have gone upstairs to see Kresher or something and unfortunately found it a little disappointing. He was just wondering about how best to get out the room and go find him when suddenly he was forced to turn back to Lupin having heard his name mentioned clearly.
"Harry are you enjoying the party?" Lupin asked as Podmore looked on in interest, having only known James for the last few months of his life, but still, he wanted to see for himself if the rumours about Harry were true and how worthy the high praise about him was.
So far he had seen nothing spectacular other than his darting green eyes and his surprisingly modest posture. He could barely see any of James's pride in him at all, except for his very determined lips and certainly nothing of the arrogance he heard Snape talk about. Harry although far from normal and clearly holding things tightly inside, seemed perfectly normal for what was to be expected, stood there with them.
"Charlie I think you've drunk enough tonight." Tonks laughed taking the beer from Charlie and laughing heartily at his slight swaying motion as he seemed a little too cheeky in his affectionate manner of giving her a hug.
"Yeah your right, I shouldn't really be drinking anyway, have you seen Bill recently he's got a lovely black eye at the moment." Charlie continued with Tonks who knew full well why Bill had a black eye but was a little curious to hear Charlie's slightly drunk take on it.
He'd dared to comment on how nice Fleur's cousin's legs was looking one evening, in her knee length skirt and suddenly came a cropper with a large wooden spoon Fleur was cooking tea with. Charlie although clearly not drunk yet was however, slightly boisterous and easily prone to attack by his two younger twin brothers who couldn't help themselves but be mischievous.
Seeing both Charlie and Tonks standing on a rug behind Lupin and Podmore, the twins wondered if Tonks falling into Charlie's arms would be enough to make Lupin react and prove that the rumours about him and Tonks were true, and try and catch her. Or at the very least if they weren't true, then what with Tonk's clumsiness and Charlie's inability to cope well with alcohol, would it be enough to send them falling to the ground in each other's arms. Thus creating a whole new set of rumours about Tonks for their mother to enjoy engrossing herself in. Oh the possibilities were endless!
Deciding it would be highly amusing either way while there mother was conveniently distracted by Ginny, Fred flicked his wand and magically pulled the rug from under their feet. The result was far more entertaining than even they had anticipated, having forgotten to factor in Tonks sexy tight top (for Remus's benefit), Charlie's love of touching any fit women, Lupin's dodgy knee and Harry, as the domino effect took place knocking Tonks and Charlie right over. Lupin fortunately fell onto the sofa but Harry ended up taking the worst of the lot as Podmore suddenly came crashing down on top of him with an already rather sore back. While the twins merely roared with laughter Charlie chased them out the room after clearly stopping to manhandle Tonks a bit as she helped him up.
"Sorry Harry, those bloody Weasley kids!" Podmore complained loudly, pulling himself up with a little help from Lupin and then held his hand out for Harry. Harry however had had the air in his lungs knocked totally out of him and was struggling for breath on the floor clutching his chest for a moment with his wand hand.
He looked up startled at Lupin and Podmore's smiling faces and couldn't help but notice the similarities to his dark encounter down an ally, he knew he was being stupid but he couldn't help what was happening to him. Harry was frightened, and didn't know what to do, his glasses had been knocked off when he fell as he scrambled to find them with one hand and kept his other firmly around his wand.
It was quiet dark in this end of the living room, as the fire had diminished and too large dark figures stood over him with the gleam of laughter in there eyes. Harry could feel the cold wind in the room and feel the prickly nettles under his hands as he looked up expecting to see rain falling down into his eyes. Lupin becoming increasingly aware of Harry's deep breathing and refusal to move so knelt down carefully towards him, seeing Harry struggling for breath as Lupin held his hand out kindly to help him. Harry pushed it quickly away and scuttled backwards terror on his face. The only thing going through Podmore's mind was that this was a boy struggling with something and he was in very great danger of seeing one of those strange characteristics of Harry popping out of Harry soon, this guiltily made him a little bit excited. Anything could happen with Harry, everyone knew that.
"Harry what's the matter with you?" Lupin asked, seeing Harry finally drag himself to his feet and back quickly away from him further. There was no mistaking the fear in Harry's glaring eyes as he looked from Lupin to Podmore, and then to the door to the left that led out into the cold hallway. He could do it, he could get away, he just had to force his legs to move and push his hand out when he reached the heavy door.
Lupin made another move towards Harry, but Harry merely took a quicker side step to keep nearly two meters away from him. He wasn't sure what to do and was sure Sirius wasn't in the room otherwise he would have come the moment Harry fell over. Podmore however, although guilty wanted to see Harry do something other than smile and laugh at other people's jokes he knew weren't funny, was startled by the sudden change in Harry's pose. Harry was clearly terrified of something and he wondered if Voldermort was trying to use him or something like the order had whispered might be a possibility.
"Leave me alone!" Harry hissed viciously and seeing his chance darted to the door wrenched it open and slamming it shut behind him as he sprinted up the dark stairs.
"God that boy's weird!" Podmore exclaimed as Lupin turned to find Sirius.
"He's not weird, as such, just a bit dodgy when people touch him that's all.' Lupin explained quietly then seeing Sirius grabbed him by the arm and whispered in his ear.
'Harry's gone all weird again, when Podmore fell on him by accident, ran out the room frightened after hissing something at us!" Sirius understood perfectly well what Harry must have thought when Podmore fell on him and left the room following Harry and calling his name loudly as he went, not bothering to shut his mother up for fear of what might happen with Harry.
"FILTH, TRATIORS, MUDBLOODS, SCUM!"
"He did just hiss at us didn't he? I'm not mad in me old age am I?' Podmore asked seeing Lupin's eyes follow Sirius out the room and then quickly turn away as he saw Mrs Weasley coming towards him with a determined look on her face.
'He's a parsletougn isn't he?" He finally twigged also rather annoyed by the way Mrs Weasley was striding across the room to him.
"Yes but Dumbledore tends to keep Harry's peculiar abilities quiet. You know full well what people would think if they herd him talk to snakes." Lupin explained quietly moving away to a corner in an attempt to get away from the dreaded Mrs Weasley long enough to think it all through.
"Wow, I would never have believed it unless I saw it. What's the matter with him, he just suddenly flipped? Or is that just normal for him?" Podmore asked, trying not to sound overly nosey and annoying. Lupin however didn't find him annoying knowing full well Podmore was the sort to keep almost everything shut up quiet and was probably only concerned about Harry. And in any case, compared to Mrs Weasley he seemed positively board by the subject of Harry.
"No and yes. Not until last summer, remember when Sirius and Dumbledore explained something horrible had happened to Harry? Well every now and then something sets him off and he gets a bit difficult. Far as we can tell he really can't help it and he's just a bit frightened that's all! I mean, you'd be awkward if summet frightened you, only where as you are supposedly capable of keeping things under control, Harry, well... stuff explodes! " Lupin tried to explain without going into detail how Sirius had ended up with a broken nose after making a stupid comment.
"Is he going to be ok? I mean, he seemed ever such a mess when he looked up at us." Podmore continued, noticing the uncomfortable agitation in Lupin's voice as he tried to explain calmly.
"I hope so. He trusts Sirius and I think he'll come round in a bit when Sirius has found him, but Harry does seem to have a habit of wondering off by him self at times, gets himself the most god awful messes because of it!"
"Oh!" Podmore finally got out before Lupin could ignore Mrs Weasley no longer.
"What's the matter, why is Sirius hurtling through the house shouting after Harry?" She demanded hands on her hips as Podmore slipped away and left Lupin cornered with a guilty smirk, he wasn't going to stand and talk with the dratted women for anyone!
"Harry's just a bit tired he's gone to bed and Sirius was just checking on him. You know how over protective Sirius gets at times." Lupin tried to explain but she wasn't taking any of it until Moody, Arthur and Ginny moved over.
Ginny mainly for the entertainment unaware there was something the matter with her dear Harry, but the other two men were also concerned by how useless Lupin was at keeping concern out his voice. He couldn't help it, he was quiet a sensitive bloke in his own way. Once you ignore the fact that he's a werewolf, ten minuets of talking to him about something and anyone with a bit about them can work out he's about as soft as butter most the time.
"Has Harry had a bit of a relapse from the summer?" Mr Weasley asked quietly having not told his wife about Harry and his habit of cutting himself or anything else that Sirius may have subtly asked for advice about leaving Mr Weasley to guess at no end of horible things.
"Yes I think so. Sirius will manage though, he's gone after him pretty quick and knows what he's looking for now." Lupin explained glad Moody had half moved his body between Mrs Weasley and the others as they whispered quickly.
"Potter's door seems to be taking quiet a lot from him but Sirius is there on the other side." Moody explained as his magical eye swiveled around upstairs and then coming back down to search around the rest of the house like normal.
"Good, best leave them to it. Let us know if something changes will you Moody." Mr Weasley decided firmly before turning to his wife with a little sigh.
"Course, Sirius is sat by the door with him now, I think he's calmed down a bit!" Moody growled and went back to his drink as the other two men walked in opposite directions to get away from Mrs Waesley who didn't know who to get at first.
"Harry! Harry! Where are you?' Sirius called running up the stairs to the floor of bedrooms but suddenly heard the bang of a door being quickly snapped shut.
'Harry let me in." Sirius knocked against the door as it seemed to be bolted shut. He put his head against the door to listen and heard the painful sob on Harry as he banged things against the walls.
"Go away!" He half sobbed, half hissed at the door.
"Harry you have to speak English for me to understand you. Tell me what the matter is and I'll try and fix it.' Sirius called through the door wondering if breaking it down was really such a bad idea at the minuet.
'Trust me Harry, I won't let anybody hurt you but, just please don't, just don't hurt yourself again." Sirius asked almost pitifully, letting his head droop as he remembered the silver letter opener he'd seen on Harry's desk this morning.
"Go away!" Harry called back and this time Sirius could understand him.
"No Harry, not until I've seen your ok. I don't want to see you hurt yourself again, will you let me in? Please Harry, just let me in?' Sirius asked as he stepped back hearing a wail form Harry and the clear ringing of a light metal object being thrown against the wall. Harry continued to sob on the floor, banging his head against the hard wall hoping he'd pass out cold soon but Sirius still tried his best to talk to him through the door.
'Please Harry just let me in. It's just me, no-one else, I just want to know you're ok and you haven't done anything to yourself. That's all, just let me in." Sirius called but this time he got the full pelt of Harry's temper as his piercing highly pitched scream echoed around the room.
"GO AWAY!" He screamed loud enough to make himself horse but the effect of it on Sirius's ears wasn't deafening, he heard everything far too clearly to cope with.
Just after though as Harry covered his ears to buffer out the sound of his own ringing voice, something glassy exploded making Sirius have to deicide quickly, weather to break the door down as he heard Harry's muffled frightened screams or maybe wait a little longer. Harry however had managed to frighten himself to some sense and pulled the door open trying to get away from his own destruction. Sirius grabbed him easily as he staggered out and held on to him tightly as he leaned forward to through up down the front of Sirius's trousers and shoes.
"I never liked them anyway." Sirius muttered as Harry started to stop and wiped his mouth on the hankie Sirius was holding down to him before pulling him gently back up straight.
"I'm sorry." Harry mumbled tears still streaming down his face. But Sirius merely flicked his wand and made it vanish in an attempt to cover Harry's misplaced embarrassment.
"It's ok, now let me see your arms. Please Harry?" Sirius asked but Harry pulled back until Sirius finally got a hold of one and pushed the sleeve back. His left arm was fine but the right one had a clear splat of blood where Harry had pieced his skin and then given up to throw the letter opener away.
Sirius sighed slightly disappointed but held his wand over to clear the wound up. The only comfort he had was that at least Harry had suddenly decided he couldn't go through with it and thrown the blunt knife away.
"You're not mad at me are you?" Harry suddenly asked noticing Sirius's disappointment, always worried that if he upset Sirius too much he'd lose him forever and be left on his own again.
"No I'm not mad at you, I just wish you'd talk to me more, rather than pretending your ok when clearly you not. I heard you shouting in your sleep again last night.' Harry looked away but kept close to Sirius as he held his godson up.
'It didn't sound like a good night's sleep Harry and you've done it a few times recently, along with getting up to puke every morning. Why won't you tell me things? Hay? Why won't you tell me what keep's upsetting you so much?" Sirius asked softly, turning Harry's face to him to see him properly and pushing the long hair out his face. Harry merely looked ashamed at this and tried to turn away but Sirius could only guess this was something to do with Harry's odd fear of being afraid rather than a fear of Sirius.
"I'm sorry." Harry mumbled before his legs gave way again and Sirius helped him sit on his bed. He fixed the two glasses and water bottle that had smashed in Harry's rage, Sirius merely took comfort that it wasn't the wardrobe or something and put them away before sitting back down next to Harry, who merely slumped in on himself and let his head droop down.
"What was it that frightened you?" Sirius asked tentatively stroking Harry's head gently like he did Buckbeak whenever he used to get restless in the night.
"Podmore fell on me." Harry muttered not trying to stem his tears.
"I suppose, he's a big man and I know you don't really know him too well but he's ok Harry, he's just a bit curious about you that's all." Sirius explained softly.
"You left me talking to Lupin!" Harry half snapped angrily, half sobbed.
"I'm sorry Harry, you seemed ok when I left, you were talking quiet happily with them. Anyway, I thought you were used to having Remus around now?" Sirius replied trying to rack his brain for what had exactly happened when Sirius had left and what he should have done different to stop Harry from ending up in such a state again, it didn't seem to be working to well because he could barely remember leaving the room to go for a leak.
"I didn't want you to go. I wanted you to stay." Harry muttered again as Sirius became rather touched by Harry's affection as he let his head slump heavily on to his shoulder.
"I'm sorry Harry I didn't realise. Were you frightened of Lupin too?"
"No.' Harry replied flatly but then also quickly added.
'Yes." Just as flatly.
"You don't need to be Harry, he's not going to hurt you." Sirius explained gently in his soft manner reserved only for Buckbeak and Harry. Harry merely shrugged and twisted his hands painfully in his lap as they started to go red.
"Couldn't help it, it was dark and it reminded me of when they..." Harry trailed off in his quiet voice but Sirius couldn't help but see yet more tears Harry quickly wiped off his pale cheek.
He was tired and fed up of having nightmares. He was happy when he first came here he was laid on this bed with Ginny, doing things he'd never dreamed he could and now he's sat here with Sirius in a mess, shivering, cold and frightened, unable to feel anything at all that could remotely be considered happiness.
"I understand, he fell over on top of you by accident and you couldn't help but remember, its ok Harry you're normal. Sometimes when I'm sat by myself I forget where I am and think I'm back in there.' Sirius explained, trying to make Harry realise in his own way, that Harry was actually rather normal to be frightened of things. But then he was getting worried by how red Harry's hands become so tried to lay his own hand on top to stop him but Harry pulled his hands quickly aside so he couldn't.
Unfortunately Sirius was looking at Harry's face and he knew as soon as he'd done it he should have been more careful. His heavy hand meant to offer some comfort missed, Harry's rapid hands and landed gently in Harry's lap right on the inside of his thigh. Sirius pulled it away quickly but the damage had already been done. He'd let himself touch Harry too closely and now Harry had jumped up and stood away from him.
'Harry I'm sorry, I just wanted you to stop rubbing your hands so hard.' Sirius explained bordering on desperate now as he saw the look of sheer terror in Harry's eyes.
When Sirius first met Harry as a young teenage boy, he had never dreamed he would be in a situation where Harry could be both so vulnerable and so strong and that he would be having to use everything he could possibly muster up to try and get Harry to trust him. He had no idea this side of Harry even existed.
Where he showed just what a young boy he was despite his maturity and everything he'd been through, there was a child inside of him that was frightened of the dark, didn't like talking to strangers and some times just wanted to play silly little games and laugh in a totally innocent way about daft little things.
Sirius was beginning to wonder about the two clearly different personalities in Harry, having guessed only to well from Harry's secretive looks and shy grin what he'd been up to with Ginny in this room on his first night. Now he saw a totally different person, a clearly distressed little boy half frightened of his own shadow and looking nervously at the silver letter opener again like it could give him of all things some relief from the pain of life.
'Harry I want you to come sit down.' Sirius began, standing up and holding his hand out gently for Harry to take. Harry wanted to, he really did, but something in his head was telling him not to and the fight raging on inside of him was making him flinch and hesitate as Sirius took slow steady steps towards him.
'I won't sit next to you if you don't want me too but I want you to sit back down. Please Harry you're not well are you?" Sirius asked hoping he was doing the right thing. He had no idea what he was doing half the time, parenting surely wasn't supposed to be this hard, he'd never even heard of someone who behaved like Harry let alone looked after one.
"Will you stay here with me?" Harry finally asked standing perfectly still and staring straight into Sirius's eyes to see the honesty in them.
"If you want me to Harry then yes."
"I don't like the dark." Harry explained taking half a step closer to Sirius and then stopping to shift his weight steadily from one foot to the next as he pondered how close he was willing to get to Sirius.
"I know Harry. I can leave the candles burning if you want." Sirius replied taking steady slow breaths while his heart panted away in his chest. If he could only get Harry to trust him again, things would be ok, he could make things be ok for Harry!
"You promise not to leave me?" He asked determinedly looking at Sirius with half begging eyes.
"I can stay here all night if you want me too Harry, I want to look after you Harry, your not well and I want to see you get better." He explained keeping perfectly still while he tried to think what would be best to do with his large totally uncomfortable arms.
"I, I don't feel ill, I feel just like myself." Harry explained moving closer to Sirius's hand and bringing his own up gently towards it but just not close enough to touch.
"Harry you aren't behaving like you normally do, why don't you come and lay down on the bed?" Sirius asked thinking if he could only get him to lie down then Harry might eventually go to sleep.
"I'm not mad Sirius!" Harry declared loudly wavering a few inches from Sirius's grasp not sure yet what he wanted to do.
"No Harry you're not mad. Do you think, I think your mad?" Sirius asked not sure why Harry was suddenly talking about being mad when it hadn't really occurred to him yet. He was still in the stress-ball of grief world with Harry. It hadn't occurred to him yet there could be anything else wrong.
"You must do, everybody else does!" Harry explained bitterly fighting his tears again.
"I don't think your mad Harry, I just think you need some rest. I think you're under a lot of pressure and that you're frightened, that's all. Will you come to me Harry, please, come and sit down?" Sirius explained and Harry finally took that last leap of two inches to take a hold of Sirius's hand tightly.
At first Sirius was going to pull him closer to him but then thought maybe he should let Harry come closer by himself. But as soon as Harry had a hold of Sirius's hand, he held on tightly and came up close to Sirius to rest his head on the older man's chest. It didn't take long before his eyes closed and his knees simply buckled under his own weight as he just started sobbing away in to Sirius's shoulder.
Sirius grabbed a hold of him quickly and supported him up right, suddenly afraid by how ridiculously thin Harry felt. Sirius laid Harry's limp body on his bed and then sat down next to him as he pulled the scruffy shoes off his wiggly toes, then pulled off his jacket and folded his glasses carefully on the bedside table.
Sirius assumed Harry had pasted out cold again by how still he was and would probably sleep now for a while like the last time he had a screaming fit, so tried to stand back up but Harry still hung on tightly to his clothes and pulled him back down. As he did though, Harry's eyes suddenly popped opened and focussed carefully on Sirius's worried face.
"You promised to stay?" Harry explained in a very different sort of voice, he was firmer and didn't seem to be the same frightened little boy Sirius had been dealing with earlier.
"I was going to sit on the chair Harry." Sirius explained but Harry's grip merely tightened until Sirius guessed that Harry wanted him no further away than he was now and sat back down on the bed. Harry shuffled over more next to the wall giving Sirius plenty of room to lie down next to him.
Sirius who had intended to leave him sleep while watching from the chair thought it odd that Harry would want him on the same bed, but figured if it would keep Harry calm so he slept then he would just do it and not think about it too much. At least then he'd be able to tell if Harry was really asleep and not just pretending for some unknown reason.
Pulling his shoes and jumper off Sirius laid his wand on the bedside table before turning to face Harry laying next to him. If Sirius had thought his godson weird and peculiar before he certainly did now. Just as Sirius had laid down Harry shuffled over closer and looked determinedly into his godfathers eyes then lifted his head up to kiss Sirius gently on his closed lips.
Then closing his eyes and curling up close to his chest he remained perfectly still and never said a word. Sirius didn't find the experience wrong as such, but found it odd, in a sensitive sort of way because he couldn't understand Harry, who, after dosing quietly for a while, turned in to a large sleek black cat to purr occasionally in his sleep next to him, quiet content in his own weird way.
Sirius laid there quietly next to him watching Harry as he occasionally twitched and flicked his tail, but after a while when he was sure Harry was asleep he pulled the sheet over Harry's cat like form to keep him warm. Turning into Snuffles he watched Harry with his dark eyes as he rested on his front paws totally oblivious to anything else that might be going off in his house.
"Are they ok up there do you think? They've been gone a long time now." Lupin asked Moody quietly, having finally re-grouped after Molly had tried to interrogate each one without success.
"Yes, Harry seems to be sleeping and Snuffles is watching him. It's odd though, Harry's shape, I would never have expected him to turn in to that." Moody growled quietly to Lupin as Mr Weasley came sneaking over while his wife was busy chiding Ginny for trying to sneak off, obviously to see Harry.
"No but he does seem to have a lot of feline qualities and I wouldn't have expected him to turn in to small creature. You should see him standing next to Snuffles you can see what a hell of a difference youth makes." Lupin smiled as Moody nodded with an odd sort of knowing smile before turning to Arthur.
"How is he now?" He asked carefully keeping an eye on his wife.
"He's asleep, Sirius is sat watching him again.' Moody explained.
'It looks like he's worn himself out with screaming and just keeled over into bed."
"Oh well, at least the rest will do him some good, he's looking a bit on the skinny side again isn't he? I can't understand how he could just change like that so quickly he was fine a few minuets before talking to you Lupin. And then he just suddenly flipped." Arthur wondered wishing his wife was a little less stressed and a little bit more like the woman he'd fallen in love with and married all those years ago.
"I can't understand it either. Dumbledore's been thinking about it since the summer but Harry always seems very normal around him and he can't make his mind up about what's causing it until he sees it happen. Sirius said he just sort of goes blank and then becomes totally different but I've never seen it and Sirius isn't exactly the best person for explaining things." Lupin explained quietly also watching Mrs Weasley from one eye.
"I just hope what ever it is he gets on top of it. Boy needs to keep his head doesn't he, what with his track record of run in's!" Moody growled but then Mrs Weasley's attention shifted and they moved away from each other. Moody who'd had his eye on Harry and Sirius let it move around the house quickly missing Fred and George who had been standing in the hallway behind the door.
"No Ginny you aren't going upstairs to see Harry you can stay down here with the rest of us and enjoy the party!" Mrs Weasley hissed loudly at her daughter then seeing she had made her point and had now won the argument turned away to talk to Ron.
"Not much of a party if he isn't here!' Ginny muttered then headed over to the other side of the room to talk to Fred and George.
'What's got into you too all of a sudden?" She asked seeing there dumb struck faces and hurried whispers.
"Nothing we just heard something that's well, very disturbing."
"Now why don't you run along to check on Harry and then come back quietly and tell us how he is?" Fred explained half shoving his sister up the stairs.
"We want to know he's ok and your far more discreet that us!" George added with a startled look at his brother.
"Yeah no body would notice you missing." Fred added clearly implying she wasn't important enough to be missed by anyone.
"Gee thanks! But ok, I'll go have a look." Ginny replied, then slipped through the door and up the stairs.
"What do you thinks going on with Harry?" Fred suddenly asked quietly sitting down on the stairs and leaning his head in with his brother to talk.
"Dunno, they seemed really worried about him though." George added.
"Fink it's Voldermort?"
"Maybe, it'd make sense."
"What the way Dumbledore's keeping him so super guarded again?"
"Yeah, can't even shit in peace now can he!" George agreed listening out for any sound of Ginny up stairs.
She was going to whisper his name and knock on the bedroom door but instead contented herself to listen to any sound of them talking. There wasn't a sound coming from the room and she knew he must be in there as he wasn't in Sirius's room.
Carefully she pushed the door open and quietly stuck her head around the door. It wasn't quietly enough, as Snuffles's head suddenly popped up to look at her then after a moment quickly laid back down to watch Harry's paws twitch as he scratched at something in his dream.
Ginny could only see the shape of Harry laying under the bedding and a little bit of black hair pocking out the top so still had no idea he was a cat just like all his other friends. So, aware by how still the dog was laying with him she knew she couldn't really enter and stay but however determined she was not to be pushed around, she knew that at a time like this, even Sirius was going to make her leave. Shutting the door quietly she crept back down the stairs to find Fred and George waiting to hear from her.
"Well?" They asked in unison.
"He's fast asleep on the bed I think and Sirius is sat watching him. I daren't go in properly because you know how over protective Sirius gets." Ginny explained to her older brothers who merely nodded at each other in an understanding way.
"Yeah."
"We kind of guessed he would be."
"Err, I don't think they're coming back to the party now so maybe it'll finish soon." Ginny wondered looking over towards the door where everybody still seemed to be chatting away almost happily and munching through the rest of the snacks.
"Yeah well apart from the fact that mother will want to get her bit in with Harry before she goes." Fred groaned finally leading the way back in to the living room where as quiet rightly the party had some what diminished since Harry ran out the room.
"Where's Harry? Mum's getting quiet arsy with me again?" Ron explained quickly coming over to see the other three.
"He's asleep with Sirius.' Ginny explained quietly.
'He's not well, so Sirius made him go to bed a bit ago!"
"Oh, so I guess we can't go up and see him then?" He sighed annoyed that he hardly seemed to spend any time at all with his friend now they'd finally over this last half term got back on track as good friends.
"He's been ever so odd recently hasn't he? He's gone all thin again?" Ginny put in quickly shocked that it wasn't until tonight that she realised just how unhealthy Harry looked, and that was only when Tonks had mentioned it and asked if she'd noticed anything odd about Harry recently. She just thought he was a bit like her Prince Charming and perfectly amiable.
"Yeah we noticed that." Fred suddenly added as his brother followed on seamlessly as always.
"Has Hogwarts gone down hill or summet food wise?" George wondered.
"No, it's as good as ever, it's just Harry. He keeps trying to skip meals. Half the time I think he only eats because it would worry Hermione to much if he didn't and the rest of the time he pretends to just to be remotely sociable and keep her happy." Ron explained sitting down at the dinning table with the others and looking away thoughtfully.
"You're thinking about something important aren't you?" Fred began again.
"We can see the cogs clunking around in your head and the way you can't do two things at once when you think!" George added.
"What is it Ron?" Ginny asked softly, sure that if she wasn't as offensive as the twins Ron was more likely to say. Despite his stupid attitude towards Ginny, he was never that far off when he had an idea about Harry.
"It's just, odd that's all. Harry keeps hiding away a lot recently. I know he's not always by himself.' At this point he gave Ginny a difficult look that Fred and George didn't quiet understand yet before carrying on.
'But still I've never seen him so, well, jumpy. And he won't go up to our dorm by himself. He'll just sit there yawning away totally knackered in the corner waiting for somebody else to go up first and then follow." Ron explained making very little sense at first to the twins.
"Yeah I've seen that, it's like he's scared of the dark or something. It never used to bother him wondering round Hogwarts at night but it does now. I thought he was just worried about getting caught but, even before curfew he's not exactly calm these days." Ginny added clarifying some of Ron's thoughtful ramberlings.
"That doesn't really sound like Harry though, he's not usually easily frightened of daft things or at least, he doesn't show it much?" Fred decided glad that he and his brother also knew Harry well enough to comment. They always did hate being left out of intellectual conversations, just as much as Ginny did, but it wasn't there fault, the money was in playing the fool and the more they played it the more money they made.
"No, it doesn't!" Lupin added deeply from behind them having come over to wonder what had made the twins go serious and calm all of a sudden.
"You know you should really stop doing that!" Fred complained loudly.
"Yeah it's so annoying!" And George continued.
"You're spending far too much to with Sirius, it's just not healthy for you!" Fred finished as Lupin sat down next to Ron also curious by what on earth was going on in Harry's head but a little bit put out by the twins comments.
"They're right ya' know?" Ginny added quickly.
"Do you know what I mean though, it's definitely him you're talking to but then he sort of drifts and you're just not quiet sure anymore if he's actually there.' Ron continued trying to explain to the others.
'It's like trying to talk to Kresher some times. He's listening to you and answering and everything but it's like he's not there, he's miles away and doesn't even realise it, he'll just stop halfway through a sentence and it won't occur to him that he seems odd!"
"I think Kresher's just dim to be honest." Lupin confirmed a little too bluntly for his usually mature manner, taking in a lot of information and processing it quickly. For Ron and Ginny to notice so many odd little things and comment on them, then Harry must have been like this quiet a while.
"I think it's time we get going home kids." Mr Weasley decided calmly walking over to the table.
"Yeah we've got shop in the morning." George explained with little gallon signs flicking up in his eyes and a grin flashing across his face again next to his brothers.
"Those kids are going nuts for our Christmas specials." Fred quickly added standing up and looking about for anymore cake.
"Ginny, Ron, have you got everything?" He continued turning to his youngest two children.
"Just let me get my bag." Ginny replied striding over to the other end of the room and picking up her little red bag.
"Err, I think I'm too drunk to go back home tonight, mum will be awful as it is..." Charlie stumbled out from the living room sofa next to Tonks who had found it rather amusing to see just how flirty Charlie could get with a few drinks in him. And of course there was the added bonus of...
'I wonder what sex with a jealous werewolf is like after a night of stewing in his own horny juices?'
"Yeah I think you are." Lupin agreed appearing quickly near Tonks as Charlie tried to get up with the aid of Tonks and quickly slumped back down on to his seat with a hefty grab of Tonks waist along the way and a good old look at her breasts as he did.
"Ya think Sirius will mind if I sleep it off a bit till morning?" He slumbered out swaying a bit before laying down ready for sleeping. He'd only had about three or four beers, and strictly speaking he wasn't supposed to be drinking at all, which was why he'd taken to moving around all evening to keep away from his mother.
Mr Weasley however had made the decision that if he's stupid enough to get himself drunk again, then the safe environment and the awful way he was going to feel in a few hours, might be enough to make him tailor his ways in the near future.
But then knowing his son, the fact that he nearly died didn't seem to stop him so a few hours of throwing up and feeling badly wasn't going to either.
"No he won't mind, just don't puke all over the floor or anything." Lupin replied looking sneakily over towards Tonks as she grinned back at him, thankful they were the only two in the room for that split moment.
"Too late Remus, he's fast to sleep." She grinned as little snores started coming from the sleeping red head.
"Oh well leave him to it." Lupin decided following Tonks over towards the rest of the group. Podmore had already gone along with Kingsley, Emille and Lucy Valance. The former was actually rather annoyed that Sirius hadn't really been seen for most the second half of the party and never put any mistletoe up above any of the doorframes for her to hang around under.
"Are you lot off now then?" Tonks asked nicely looking mainly at Mr Weasley and then to Fred and George who quickly ran over towards Charlie and scribbled a few things on his face that looked suspiciously like 'drunk tosser' written backwards over his forehead along with whiskers and thick eyebrows.
"Yeah we're off."
"Bye."
"Goodbye, boys." Mr Weasley added seeing the two quickly leave the house.
"Well Molly I think it's time we left too." He decided trying to sound firm and leading the way across towards the fireplace.
"Sirius left it open for one last trip so you could get home." Lupin explained yawning and looking over towards Moody who was still spinning his eye around and rolling the left over fire whisky cake up into a little hanky for later.
"I'm not so sure about going yet dear, I'm a bit concerned about Harry." Mrs Weasley began as several people in the room rolled there eyes.
"No dear I'm sure he will be fine. He's asleep and we shouldn't bother him. Besides, we have our own children to think about and it's getting very late." Mr Weasley replied, taking her gently by the arm and leading the way over to the fire place.
"No, I'm really not sure. If he's unwell then..." She began again but at this Ginny butted in bluntly.
"Mother he's laid in his bed fast to sleep and Sirius is sat with him. If he happens to be a bit ill in the night then I'm quiet sure Sirius will be fine at looking after him!" She snapped firmly earning herself a chiding look and probably a good telling off when they got home.
"Yes well I see YOU'VE not had enough sleep again madam, maybe we should go and get you in your bed SOONER in future! You seem ever so ratty these days!" She snapped.
At this though the others heard something distinctly like 'bloody nasty mother' before Ginny's freshly grown and un-died hair disappeared through the fireplace to hide in her room before her mother could really get going again.
"Go on Ron you next!" Mr Weasley added as always choosing to ignore his daughters comments nearly as much as his wife's as nothing good ever came of him trying to take a side no matter what his opinions were.
"Honestly I don't know what's gotten into that girl, she's so moody and difficult, we never had such cheek out of the rest of the children Arthur." She snapped back loudly.
"Bugger off I'm trying to sleep!" Charlie groaned from the next room before rolling back over to snore louder as he slept. At this Arthur rolled his eyes behind his wife's back and Tonks suppressed a little giggle by stuffing a fairy bun, gracelessly in her mouth.
It wasn't long before Moody had gone home and Tonks had crawled into Lupin's bed with a shockingly little amount of clothes on, leaving Remus himself to poke his head around the bedroom and see for himself if Harry was doing better now with Sirius. Seeing Remus though, he carefully turned in to a man and sat on the bed with Harry inviting Lupin quietly in to talk to him.
"Is he ok?" Lupin whispered but Sirius merely shook his head.
"I've got to talk to Dumbledore soon he's getting worse!" Sirius whispered back checking that Harry was indeed still asleep.
"Yeah we've got another meeting just after Christmas day, Moody recons it might be better to wait until then unless something really drastic happens. Dumbledore's having a lot of trouble with the minister at the moment and contact with him is difficult for well, us." Lupin whispered back then stood motionlessly for as second as Harry took a particularly heavy sigh and shiver before starting to purr softly again.
"No still asleep. Has everybody gone now or something?" Sirius asked quietly, completely oblivious to what time it might be.
"Near enough, Charlie got a bit drunk so he's snoring on the sofa down stairs and I've sort of just left the mess until morning. If you don't mind?" Lupin explained a bit timidly.
"No worries. I'm stopping here, I'll tidy up tomorrow some time when Harry's feeling himself again. Apart from that, I've been young and pissed enough to know it's probably best we just leave Charlie be, besides, he can't exactly make that carpet down there smell much worse now can he?" At this Lupin had to agree, Sirius really had been young and pissed a lot of times and they usually did just ignore him snoring on some random sofa. And that carpet did stink so much even Kresher wouldn't get his nose too close to it if he could help it.
"Right thought you wouldn't mind. I'm gonna go. Don't stay up too long Sirius, if Harry's asleep then you can sleep next to him easy enough. Well when he's awake you seem to need your wits about you a bit more." To this though Sirius made no reply, he had no intention of closing his eyes for even a second until he was sure Harry wasn't going to start crying or shouting or getting upset again. And Lupin knew it, so quietly left the room to curl up a little too happily next to Tonks a few rooms down.
"Remus my feet are cold let them come over to your side." Tonks mumbled wiggling and scrunching her nose up a bit as Lupin was attempting to save his legs from the cold torment of Tonks's icy toes.
"Oh all right, if it stops you from wiggling about." He finally relented stretching down and rubbing her feet in an attempt to warm them up before they cuddled down together with his nice warm legs and her icy feet.
"Hmm. Love wolfy?" She mumbled snuggling her chest down to his making Lupin a bit uncomfortable.
Did she just tell him she loved him or did she just really like the way even when it was cold, his body was really rather warm? Crickey he thought he'd finally gone through the stupid adolescence.