Hey! We're back, but not for long – Saz is off on holiday again! Spain, lucky devil!
We know we said it would be a 'two-shot' but we think it'll be three chapters now.
But, here have some more and enjoy.
Ha-ha, Saz says "We'll give you fuckers an update on the 15th maybe."
Disclaimers – we don't own the boosh, two incredible men do, Julian and Noel.
Enjoy :D
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Howard slammed his magazine down and sighed. He grabbed his coat and wallet and left the shop, destination; Argos.
Vince, walked over to his wardrobe and opened it up looking at his 'hair equipment' shelf, he pulled his black, skulled motive GHD straighteners down and plugged them into 'Nicky's space' he flicked the switch on and waited for the flashing light to signal that the plate's where hot enough to be used.
He ran them once... okay twice... okay six times over his hair (jeez, what are you, the police?) before heading down to the shop. Seeing that Howard was no longer there he took out his phone and dialed the number 07890 537 699. He waited for the recipitant to pick up their phone. They did.
"Leroy? D'ya wanna come round?"
"What so you can seduce me into giving back my hair straighteners?"
"Your hair straighteners?"
"Yes, mine."
"Forget the invite Leroy."
"Ah, but mate." Leroy whined, but Vince hung the phone up and walked up to the till, he opened it to see how much money was in there - nothing. He sighed, and walked back upstairs.
Vince's phone trilled. "What?"
"I'll give you the money, but I NEED these, mate. And I'll shag you, whenever, wherever, however you want."
"Fine, come round. NOW"
"Already on my way"
Vince sighed as he jammed his phone back into his pocket; he walked into the kitchen and flicked the kettle on.
Howard marched up the high street, carrier bag in hand and a aching wallet in his back pocket. He just forked out £100 pounds for a pair of hair straighteners, and no doubt Vince would gain a love for a different pair, so really that was a waste of money.
Leroy arrived, he ran upstairs and, gave Vince the money, and kissed him.
"Y'know, Leroy. This technically means I'm your prostitute."
"Vince?"
"Yeah?"
"D'ya wanna shut up and fuck me?"
"Yeah..."
Vince kissed him, picked him up and threw him on the kitchen table. He stripped Leroy of his clothes before removing his own. He thrust into him, unprepared.
Howard came through the door, and blushed, his two friends where getting it off on the kitchen table, he threw the carrier bag and contents down onto the floor and walked into the living room, flicking on the TV and turning the volume up full blast, drowning out the noises from the other room. Vince only noticed Howard was there when the TV noise flooded through the room.
"SHIT! Come on!" They ran into Vince's bedroom and continued
Vince sat pressed up against the headboard of his bed, receiving kisses of his 'prostitute' up and down his body, the sensation sending him shivers of pleasure and allowing moans to escape his mouth - everything he didn't want, well he wanted but not from Leroy, he'd always imagined of different lips caressing his body
When they had finished, Leroy left. Leaving Vince, alone, ashamed in his room. Vince felt wetness trail down his cheek and into the hair that was tucked under his chin. There was a knock on his door.
"Vince? Can I come in?" the slight lisp of Naboo came through the door.
Vince jumped, scrabbled for his clothes and threw them on.
"Vince?"
"Uh... yeah come in." Vince shouted through the door, quickly re-adjusting his hair.
The door opened. Naboo came and sat next to him and brushed his cheek with his hand.
"Wha-?"
"You had a tear stain."
"Oh."
"I hate seeing you upset, Vince. But it's not just you. Howard's in there too. He's not crying, but you fucking someone while he's next door is a bit bitchy. He loves you y'know"
Vince widened his eyes, slightly shocked by Naboo's 'straight to the point' attitude, but hung his head, revealing only the crown of his head.
"How do you?" Vince mumbled into his lap
"I can tell."
"How?"
"The way he looks at you. The way you look at him. all the time when the other ain't bloody looking."
"Oh."
"See, Vince I think you should go out there an talk to him."
"I don't know how too!"
"I'll ...I guess I could help you."
"Really?"
"Yes, right first of all get into the bathroom and sort yourself out, you look like a mess and you smell like cheap beer, seriously has Leroy ever heard of showering?"
Vince laughed quietly before shooting into the bathroom and sorting himself out. He showered and wiped his face clear of makeup (he knows how Howard likes him) but, just for confidence, ran a smidgen of eyeliner under each eye. He stepped back into naboo.
"Second of all - decide what to wear, something sexy but not to hard to take off."
Again Vince chuckled at the shaman before nearly yanking the doors off the wardrobe, he buried himself deep in his wardrobe and pulled out various clothes, throwing them across the bedroom and practically burying Naboo before settling for his Joan jett jumpsuit (and of course underwear, but we don't need to go into too much detail, but just for the record he was wearing jet black boxers)
"Okay."
"Right, last of all, you go in there and tell him."
Vince froze, and bit down on his lip looking at Naboo and then at the door.
"Right, okay. Yeah. I can do that."
"y'know, Vince, to "do that" you needs to go out of the room."
"Shut up spastic... person"
Naboo raised his eyebrows, and smiled. "Ok, I'll shut up, go on then go tell him." Naboo spoke; Vince just spun around and looked at him pleadingly.
"No, I'm a spastic."