Chapter thirty-three - 'What do you think Harry's up too now?'
"I think it's time I take him now!" A spiteful looking woman with a long nose and heavily ringed fingers decided, firmly yanking the little bundle of joy out of a young girl's hands as she cradled her work and gently rocked back and forth with a sweet smile.
"No just let me have him a bit longer, just another half an hour?" She begged too tired to put up much of a fight as she sat in her dark red dressing gown and saggy nightdress, her usual ones not yet fitting.
"No you silly girl, you can have a few days rest and then your to go back to school when the new term starts, so make sure your rested enough to cover up those breasts!" A second spiteful looking woman explained with the same long nose although slightly older around the face and a little thinner around the middle. At this the young girl burst in to tears again and apart from having a hanky past over to her by her mother, she was completely ignored as the two woman started to discuss how much gold was spent by the father fudging the little boy's birth certificate.
"Will I ever get to see him again, even if he doesn't know who I am?" The young girl suddenly blurted out firmly dropping the hanky and holding her deflated stomach miserably.
"Possibly, when he's older, maybe in five or six years when he's old enough to come to family gatherings!" The first lady decided still holding the blanketed bundle although not showing it much attention while it slept peacefully.
"Five or Six years!" The girl gasped bursting out into hysterical tears again.
"Oh put a sock in it girl! Come on, we may as well go down stairs now, It will have got the basket ready for you. How is that little rat I gave you working out? I do hope he's satisfactory?" She wondered although there was no question of her ever taking 'It' back if it wasn't.
"Oh yes, very satisfactory, It sees to all his own punishments and does it in the most convenient out of sight places. I only ever know It's there when I call him." She replied rearranging her robes and waiting for her sister to lock the door behind them.
"Arggh! Make it stop, make it stop!" Harry screamed twisting around on the bedroom floor as he tried to fight off invisible monsters trying to strangle him. Lupin had just been dozing slightly in the chair as Harry slept when the screaming had started all over again as he woke up.
"Harry, Harry! Its ok, its ok, your dreaming!" Lupin tried to explain holding Harry's waving hands down and trying to calm him down.
"No make it stop, make it stop! Keep them away!" Harry shouted more coherently as he struggled slightly less now Lupin had got him over on to his side.
"Harry, Harry its ok! Its ok. They're gone, they won't come back!" Lupin reassured him as Harry's body fell limp yet again and he let his head dropped with a thud on to the side of the floor. His legs half open and his arm stretched out over his body, Harry laid on his side eyes wide open, completely oblivious to anything and anyone else around him. He was dribbling slowly on to the towel Lupin had carefully placed under his head. He did think about pulling the blanket over Harry's shoulders again but as he seemed quiet for the moment so Lupin thought better of disrupting Harry's momentary peace accidentally.
"Did it happen again?" Sirius asked rubbing his eyes roughly and leaning on the door frame for support as he looked down at Harry's limp body and blank open face. He was definitely awake but Sirius knew it was no use trying to talk to Harry, he'd hardly been Harry for over a week now and besides, what do you say to a limp body going through hell and hardly able to swallow properly without some help let alone answer you back.
"Yeah, you're meant to be asleep Sirius." Lupin sighed looking wearily up at his friend as he returned to his chair.
"I couldn't manage it. Besides, he's really noisy sometimes."
"Then put a charm on your door, he's not going to change much he hasn't for days and days." Lupin explained also feeling a bit on the tired side.
"He might." Sirius put in hopefully.
"I'll manage."
"But he might." Sirius pleaded again.
"Sirius, get some sleep." Remus sighed.
"I can't, let me sit in here for a bit."
"Lay on his bed and sleep for a bit, you might get a good half hour yet before he well..." Lupin decided looking determinedly over to Sirius.
"Suppose. Whish he could..." Sirius began flopping down on to Harry's bed, glad Lupin had changed the sheets and rested his head on the pillow tiredly.
"I know Sirius, but he can't help it. He won't be like this forever."
"He might." Sirius groaned.
"He won't Sirius!" Lupin put in firmly but he still worried, something had recently crossed Lupin's mind a few days ago, that if they didn't get some food into Harry soon, he'd end up being too weak to last much longer anyway.
It was a horrible prospect the thought of Harry dieing like this and it was obvious the though hadn't occurred to Sirius yet but Lupin couldn't help it, he was terrified, why was it taking Woolnough so long to find something, anything that could help?
"Did he manage to take it at all?" Woolnough asked flicking his pen with his wand, looking at Sirius and supping his herbal tea as he often did. It was late on a Sunday night, they'd managed with Dumbledore's help to get Harry unseen into the ministry with Lupin. So while Lupin sat with Harry laid by the fire, Woolnough asked all the necessary questions of Sirius leaving Dumbledore to watch on feeling a little disappointed by the clear rut they already seemed to be in with Harry's help.
Woolnough was still optimistic that he would find a breakthrough soon, Sirius was still optimistic because he couldn't bare to even think about the possible consequences of not being optimistic. Harry was still rather mindless most the time and Lupin was torn between worry for Sirius and Harry while some how managed to keep him self in control.
This was aided by a little potion Woolnough had given him every now and then to calm his nerves about being a werewolf without wolfsbane around Harry, it was nothing more than mineral water and a few vitamins Woolnough thought he could do with a booster of but Lupin didn't know that. He thought it helped and so it did, it gave him the confidence to stay in control so he could help Sirius to help Harry without taking the Wolfsbane potion.
Snape had been furious that Lupin had politely declined his snidy offer of making the werewolf 'his concoction', even worse was the comment that he'd had better made for him in the past and that Snape's had a habit of being a little feeble on occasion in comparison. "No we've hardly got anything at all down him." Sirius sighed letting his eyes wonder over to Harry again.
"Well that is a shame. I have something completely different for you this time.' Woolnough sighed and drank deeply from his cup.
'To be honest it's a bit of a shot in the dark to try and see what reaction I get. I didn't want to try it at first but I've exhausted all the variations so far one way or another. Apparently his grandfather was allergic to one of the ingredients, a type of plant used a lot to aide digestion. This is a different way of using the same basic plant but the root rather than the leaf."
"Do you think he might be allergic to it as well?" Dumbledore asked as Sirius covered a yawn and Lupin helped Harry shuffle over to be flat on to his face like he seemed to want to be, arms and legs splayed out in all directions and his face turned only slightly to the left side. He'd been crying again and they were waiting for him to calm down a little bit before Woolnough had another look at him.
"There's a very good chance, however I need it to get the rest of the potion into his blood and if he is, it'll bring him out in a rash and shouldn't do too much damage. Well not as much as if stay's as he is."
"I suppose." Sirius mumbled looking longingly over at Harry who after crying and twisting around in agony for half an hour in front of Woolnough seemed to be so tired now he couldn't even fight off his invisible leeches trying to suck his blood. It was disturbing to say the least but Sirius could only comfort himself that at least Harry wasn't screaming at the moment.
"When was the last time he ate?"
"We got half a banana down him last Monday night but that's it and he choked most of it up about two hours later."
"Well try again with this as often as you can manage, but it'll have to be at least a mouthful every three hours or so but you have to get something in him."
"I know. What is it?" Sirius asked taking the large tin from him and putting it in to the rucksack on the table.
"It's a variation on a simple Centure food. You don't have to eat much to get a lot of goodness from it. It looks a little bit like fat cracker but it'll turn mushy like a very soft banana as soon as it gets into his mouth but it won't swell up and fill him when he gets it in his stomach so hopefully he'll keep it down longer."
"Oh well, little and often then whatever he can manage." Sirius repeated so the instruction lodged itself firmly in his brain.
"Yes, now when can you next come back? You'll know within four hours if he's allergic to the leaf but I'd rather keep him on it at least 72 hours to know how it's worked? Unless of course if it all goes dreadfully wrong, in that case you won't get anything down him so just stop trying with the potion and do your best with the food."
"I'm afraid it will be Thursday night now, but after that we can bring him hear on the Saturday night." Dumbledore explained thoughtfully.
"Ok, I'll need some more of his blood then."
"It'll be best not to tell him what your doing, he thinks he's lost a lot of blood recently with the leeches and all?" Sirius explained stifling yet another yawn.
"Has he?" Woolnough asked curiously, positive Sirius hadn't mentioned any blood loss.
"Not a drop. Not even in his sick, I check every time. Most of it goes over me these days anyway!" Sirius replied sadly, following Woolnough over to Harry who was back to twisting his back around against the floor to get leeches off and crying quietly.
Woolnough waited for Lupin and Sirius to hold Harry still then holding on to his arm while Sirius turned his face away he tapped it with his wand to remove some blood seamlessly. Harry hadn't realised yet and after struggling and trying to bite at Sirius's hand decided they must be trying to inject something into his arm to make him sick and started crying out again.
Sirius did his best to calm him down but in the end Woolnough did inject something into Harry's arm and he laid out on the floor panting away rolling his head from side to side as he fought the urge to sleep.
"That'll where off in an hour so I suggest you get going soon."
"I thought you didn't like giving sleeping aides to him?" Sirius wondered sure that looked so much easier than the hours he had to injure of trying to get Harry to calm down after something.
"I don't, but it's the smallest dose so he can manage and he's so weak now, his body wouldn't be able to cope with another full blown fit. He's just too tired."
"He's so thin!" Sirius sighed having sneaked a peek at Woolnough's notepad to see Harry was actually hardly six stone now and immediately regretted looking.
"Get some sleep Sirius, as soon as you get in, go to bed and sleep for at least four hours. Your about ready to drop and this isn't Azkaban, you have more important things to do than stay in your cell all day and night thinking about nothing very much." Woolnough explained firmly. Lupin had to look away at this because so far he'd only ever heard Woolnough mention Azkaban so firmly to Sirius and get an almost constructed sentence back.
"Suppose, I can't sleep though."
"I can give you more to help with that but you said it didn't work, so you'll just have to try harder to dose off." Woolnough replied firmly before heading over to his cabinets and retrieving a set of potions to give to Dumbledore while Sirius and Lupin rapped Harry up and lifted him into Lupin's arms to carry him.
Fortunately Harry was so light now Lupin could hold on to him and Dumbledore without too much trouble to apperate back safely, while Sirius opened up the house for them under the cloak.
"What do you think Harry's up too now?" Ginny asked sitting with Ron in the corner of Hagrid's kitchen while Hermione and Hagrid set a few young unicorn's free again.
"He's probably laid about on the sofa with Sirius playing with some weird jigsaw Tonks has made for them. Sirius will be doing one bit and Harry the other and he'll be listening to Sirius telling him some daft story about James to make Harry laugh. Then Lupin will keep correcting him and dropping Sirius in it from the chair where he'll be reading the paper like the boring old fart he is."
"You think so." Ginny asked wanting to believe the story Ron was earnestly telling her.
"Course, Harry will be back in no-time I'm sure, he's probably nearly perfectly well and just taking it easy with Sirius for a bit so he can get out of school work." Ron decided sounding firmer than he felt for his sister's sake.
Hermione was currently in a state where she couldn't even bare thinking about how ill Harry was, as Ron's comforting stories never made any logical sense and she saw them too much for what they were. Her best way of coping so far had been to make a perfectly organised simple set of notes for each of Harry subjects so when he got back it would be easy for him to catch up.
Ron occasionally helped under the guise that Hermione wouldn't get them simple-enough but it was often more for the help of finishing his homework now he couldn't even get worked up about the exams any more.
"Tonks go fetch ya old man another cup of tea will ya?" Ted called into the kitchen as Tonks clumsily made herself a sandwich.
"All right." She answered setting the water to boil with her wand and digging out two cups. It was her one full day off in the week and as usual rather than spending the day with Remus she was back at home with her dad getting in the way and feeling terribly fed up.
She wanted to go help with Harry but so far she couldn't be much use and could hardly stand the sight of Harry looking so sick anyway. She did try but found she often got in the way so had decided to keep out the way and let the two men get on with it, going out to fetch things that they needed so Remus wouldn't have to.
Most of the inner order knew exactly how she felt, having caught either a glimpse of Harry or heard him at least once either crying or shouting upstairs with Sirius. Other than staying out the way and help keep information pasted on Harry to a minimum, there was very little anyone other than Sirius and Woolnough could do for him other than stand back and watch which anyone would find unbearable.
"Are you around tonight Nymphi?" Ted asked when Tonks had sat down with two cups on a clumsy tray and a couple of healthy biscuits.
"Err no, not tonight I'm out so I was just gonna have some soup early and then go before you have tea."
"Ok, but you best not be sneaking out for steak for tea and leaving me at home with you mother's cooking."
"Dad, would I do a thing like that and not sneak you some back. I told you, I'm a bit on the skint side at the minuet which is why I keep eating at home. Besides I couldn't leave you with mum all day long on your own."
"Are you sure your not just trying to avoid Remus again?" Ted wondered a little suspicious by how quiet Tonks seemed to go whenever he was mentioned.
"Remus is fine, he's just a bit busy at the minuet and I can't get in the way, now pass us one of those chocolate creams you've got stashed away before mum gets back in." Tonks whispered pouring Ted his cup and stirring milk in.
"Don't you let her find out, it's taken me ages to find a good way of hiding them so she won't find em. That dratted acro spell is nothing but a nuisance for us normals!"
"Harry, Harry. Are you ok?" Sirius called through from the little bathroom where he was just flicking his wand to clean out the bath and the floor. Harry had decided he was really dirty and wanted a bath.
After helping him wash in a small amount of water Harry had suddenly felt really sick and threw up all over himself in the water. After cleaning Harry up and laying him on his bed to rest, Sirius had cleaned himself up better and was just finishing the wall off with his wand as best as he could when he heard Harry panting and moaning quietly in the other room. Giving up on his cleaning quickly, Sirius rushed through to Harry and sat down next to him.
"Where am I?" Harry asked shakily.
"Your in your room Harry, with me. It's ok. Tell me what the matter is." Sirius replied softly taking hold of Harry's shoulders so he stopped rocking back and forth so much.
"Who are you?" Harry continued trying to rack his brain for information other than his stomach hurt, his mouth tasted of sick and his name was Harry.
"I'm Sirius, Harry. Do you not remember me?" Sirius asked carefully looking across at Harry's face as he stared in front of himself at nothing in particular.
"No." Harry replied shaking his head and feeling very lonely as he realised he couldn't remember anyone at all. Maybe he didn't have anyone which was why he couldn't remember them, but this man was being so nice to him, even if Harry was sure he couldn't be his dad otherwise he would have said so.
"Do you remember anything else, is it just you can't remember me?" Sirius asked wondering if this was like what Woolnough had said, maybe Harry's brain had returned back to a state of memory prier to now and had absolutely no recollection of any time passing.
"No I can't remember anything. What am I doing here?"
"Your not well Harry. I've been looking after you." Sirius explained gently feeling the back of Harry's neck to see if he'd suddenly turned warm again and was about to pass out.
"Am I better now?"
"Not quiet Harry, but your getting there I think."
"Oh, I'm tired."
"Do you want to lay down for a bit?"
"Yes.' Harry nodded and let Sirius bring his legs up and pull the sheet over his shoulders.
'Sirius?"
"Yes Harry?" Sirius asked quietly helping him lay down now.
"Why aren't my mum and dad here?' Harry asked blankly as Sirius faulted slightly, surely he must know, he must remember, Sirius wouldn't have to tell him nearly all his family were dead.
'Have they gone out for something?" Harry pressed looking plainly up at Sirius.
"Something like that Harry. Why don't you got to sleep it'll help you feel better?"
"I'm tired but I'm not sleepy, have I been asleep quiet a while?"
"Sort of, you dose off every now and then but you didn't sleep too well last time so try and close your eyes for a bit."
"But when will they be back?" Harry pressed stubbornly as Sirius made him lay down properly again and sat on the bed next to him.
"I'm not sure Harry."
"They are coming back aren't they? They won't just leave me here will they on my own?"
"No of course not Harry, I'm with you."
"They wouldn't just go off and leave me with you though would they? And not come back?"
"Not if they could help it, they care about you Harry. You're their little boy."
"I'm not that little." Harry complained creasing his eyebrows up to frown.
"No of course not Harry. But you should really try and get some rest."
"When they come back will you wake me?" Harry asked still determined not to go to sleep until he knew he had a mother to wake up to.
"I'll do my best. Now close your eyes Harry, I'm just going to talk to Remus a second."
"Who's he?" Harry immediately piped up trying to sit again but Sirius kept him laid back on his bed.
"He's our friend Harry. I'm just going to see he got in ok and then I'll be back. Ok? I'm not far so you can just call me if you need anything."
"Ok." Harry sighed laying on his side and trying to get comfy. Although tired Harry was right, he didn't feel remotely sleepy but laid very still thinking.
Surely he must remember something. Sirius hoped rather than assumed Harry was asleep as he quickly called Lupin over from his room. They stood just out of Harry's view in the hall talking quietly as Sirius explained.
"He doesn't remember anything except that his names Harry. And I think that's only because he heard me call his name."
"What nothing at all?" Lupin asked a little confused as to why Sirius looked so odd and worried by this. Harry had had memory problems plenty of times before.
"No nothing, he's asking for James and Lilly he can't understand why they've left him alone with me looking after him if he's ill. He wants to know when they're coming back so I can wake him up."
"Look try not to panic Sirius.' Lupin began firmly thinking on the spot of something to say to calm him down.
Lupin could see exactly what the matter was, no one in there right mind would want to tell someone they cared about both their parents are dead. It's hard enough coping with the news yourself but to have to tell another even closer to them.
'It'll be ok Sirius he probably won't be like this when he wakes up. In a bit he'll change again like he always seems to and he'll know and after the initial shock it'll all sink back in and well, he can cope with the information can't he? He can cope with it because he always does it's just one of those odd things about him."
"What should I do for the time being? He's wide awake and talking properly, it's not like humouring him in one of his hallucinations. If I lie to him then he'll know and I don't want to lie to him." Sirius explained.
"Wouldn't lie about what?" Harry asked standing at his bedroom door with his favourite blanket rapped round his shoulders.
"Oh Harry, why are you up?" Sirius asked pulling himself back together after his momentary shock at seeing Harry on his feet.
"I'm thirsty. What won't you lie to me about?" He asked again as Sirius looked to Lupin for some help.
"Look why don't you come back to you bed and I'll make you a drink Harry?" Sirius decided taking hold of Harry's shoulders and leading him back into the room.
"Ok. Err Sirius?" Harry asked in a whisper as he was sat down on the bed and looking over to where Lupin was standing in the hallway not exactly sure what to do.
"Yes Harry."
"Make him go away. I don't like him. He's weird!" Harry declared firmly and quietly looking at Sirius who looked at Lupin who heard every word and made an it's-ok-Sirius-he's-not-well look before disappearing back to his own room.
"Harry that's not very nice." Sirius tried to explain.
"I don't care, I don't like him. He frightens me. And you said you were looking after me until mum and dad get back." Sirius was sure he hadn't said this exactly but he didn't have the heart to correct Harry properly.
"Lupin's ok. You don't need to be frightened of him."
"If you say so, but he still frightens me.' Harry grumbled then sighed heavily.
'When is mum and dad coming home? I can't sleep and I can't remember them properly. I can't hardly remember anything." Harry sighed again sulking slightly at his own lack of information and lack of assurance from Sirius. He seemed to be behaving very shadily and although Harry felt he trusted him, he couldn't remember if he did or not and could only work with his basic instinct.
"Here Harry have a drink." Sirius decided handing Harry a large glass of water in the hopes it'll stop him from asking questions for a while.
"But what about what you were talking about? You were talking about lying to me, why would you lie? Your supposed to be looking after me. You said so!" Harry continued firmly.
"I know Harry and I am but it's best you don't worry about that now, try and get some sleep."
"I'm not sleepy though." Harry snapped.
"Look just try and lay down quiet for a bit, I'll sit with you if you want. But you really need to get some more sleep Harry." Harry didn't really know what to do and assumed Sirius would know best so laid down on the bed again and tried his best to go to sleep.
It didn't happen very easily but after an hour he finally dosed off in to a light sleep and twitched his hands and nose regularly like a cat as he did. Sirius waited until he was sure Harry was asleep this time and then got up to get a hold of Remus again.
"Is he asleep then?" Lupin asked quietly standing in the kitchen this time with him across from Harry's room.
"Yeah. He still thinks we're sort of looking after him until they get back and he's frightened of you."
"I gathered as much. Now try not to worry Sirius. For all we know he could be puking up and allsorts again soon and back to the way he was this morning. I know it wasn't pleasant but it's a very firm possibility. As long as he's like this it's just as uncomfortable only this way you have a chance to fob him off for a bit and get some food down that skinny neck of his."
"I suppose so." Sirius sighed when all of a sudden they heard a high pitched scream followed by the sound of a hot sweaty boy falling out of bed to start sobbing hysterically on the floor and shouting.
"It's not true! Tell me it's not true! Why would they just die like that?! Why would they just leave me all on my own?!" Harry sobbed as it became quiet clear what he'd suddenly remembered in his little nap.
"Harry. Harry it's ok. Shussh." Sirius soothed quickly going back to him.
"How can it be ok? They're gone, they've left me! I'm all on my own!" He sobbed harder as Sirius tried to hug him in his long warm arms.
"No your not Harry we're still here!" In the end Sirius lifted him up and let him sit in his lap as Harry wailed away his misery into his chest occasionally thrashing his head and legs about to get the horrible memory out.
"I don't want to be left on my own!" He sobbed.
"You won't be. I won't leave you on your own Harry, I promise I won't!"
"When did it happen?" He finally asked taking a deep gulp of air as he did.
"A while ago, you just couldn't remember Harry. I didn't want to have to tell you." Sirius soothed rocking Harry slightly now as he suddenly started wailing louder again like a little upset seven year old.
"I can't remember them! Why can't I remember them?"
"In a bit you'll be able to I'm sure. But I've got pictures, I can show you what they looked like.' Sirius explained earnestly as he looked over to Lupin. Harry clearly didn't want him there and Sirius wasn't sure what to do, so silently Lupin left yet again feeling pathetically useless around Harry.
After a while of wailing and sobbing and shouting how much he hated not being able to remember, Sirius opened the bedside draw and pulled a picture frame out of James and Lilly laughing and giggling as they stood next to a tree waiting to have a picture taken. Harry calmed down when he could see them moving around in front of him.
Sirius knew he always liked this picture because it made them look so happy and care free. They weren't even married in it yet and Harry wasn't even thought of other than as a name Lilly might later want to use later for a baby boy. The second if he ever came along was to be called Joshua whatever James thought as James really didn't like the sound of Joshua James Potter.
'Do you feel a little bit better now Harry?" Sirius asked softly pushing Harry's hair out his face and noticing just how warm he'd suddenly become.
"I feel sick Sirius." Harry explained taking short deep breath and willing the contents of his stomach to stay down. Sirius knew it would be no good, if Harry felt sick he near enough always was so quickly took the picture off him and placed it safely on the side before helping Harry to his feet and moving him over to the toilet just in time for Harry to lean over and start.
After the first wave Sirius waited with Harry fifteen minuets in case a second wave came. It did, but after that Harry couldn't stop. His body just kept on trying to bring things up and once his stomach was empty it just hurt him and made Harry feel even worse. Being sick was horrible, but trying to be sick and not managing it was worse, particularly when well into the night your body's still trying to do it and your laid out on the bathroom floor shivering next to your godfather, as your body put you through hell for no good reason.