Title: Our Mrs. Sheppard

Pairing: Sparky

Spoilers: Nothing specific. We'll say through season 3.

Disclaimer: I don't own them or Firefly. sigh

Summary: Sometimes John's off-world shenanigans catch up with him. Sparky.

Author's note: This one is kind of short, but I hope you enjoy it. Please review!

Chapter 2- The reception

Wondering if his day could get any worse, John made his way to the mess hall for dinner. He was through the line and taking a piece of chocolate cake when Andy, his favorite cook, the one that always held back turkey sandwiches for him, motioned him into the kitchen.

"What's up Andy?" He asked, starting to eat a French fry.

"I just wanted you to know Colonel, that even though this cake is chocolate, I do make an excellent white cake. So I would be honored to make your wedding cake." Andy said with a huge grin.

John coughed, choking on a bit of potato. "You know?"

Andy nodded and said with obvious glee, "Everyone knows."

"Oh, great." He should have realized that all of Elizabeth's calls with Elder Alix had been in the control room. And the Atlantis grapevine was always very efficient.

"Well, it's not every day that one of our illustrious leaders accidently almost gets married." Andy replied with a laugh.

"Thank god for that." He glanced at the door. "I don't suppose there's a way I can eat in here?"

Andy grinned and shook his head.

"All right then, I'm going in." He turned and went through the kitchen doors into the dining room.

And was greeted with the wedding march. At least half of the members of the expedition were standing and humming 'Here Comes the Bride.' John rolled his eyes, but couldn't help smiling as he made his way to the table where Rodney, Ronon, and Teyla were already eating. By the time he was sitting down, the song had ended and was replaced by applause.

"Thank you everyone for your well wishes." He stood, feeling his face flush. "But were there actually a wedding I would get real musicians." This comment was met with laughter and everyone turned back to their food.

"All right, get it out of your system." He said to his team with a wave of one hand.

"I would have gotten you a toaster." Ronon stated and started eating.

John paused, watching Ronon tear into a piece of chicken, and then looked to Teyla for an explanation.

"Rodney told us it is a traditional wedding gift on Earth." She elaborated.

"What would you have gotten me?"

"A toaster. Rodney also said people mistakenly get more than one for their wedding." She grinned, clearly enjoying his predicament as much as everyone esle. "Oh, and I would have sung a lovely song in your honor at the ceremony."

"That's very nice. Thank you." He replied sarcastically.

"Can we still have the bachelor party?" Ronon asked. "Because I know this place-"

"No." John interrupted. "Let's stop right there. Elizabeth is already irritated enough at me for having to deal with all of this."

Ronon shrugged and went back to his dinner.

"You can't blame her for being annoyed though," Teyla said, always the reasonable one.

"No, I suppose I can't," he admitted. "But it wasn't my fault! Just a strange set of circumstances I happened to fall into. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I would have preferred the Wraith or being injured or something else. At least then I get some sympathy."

"Hey, I offered you a bachelor party, but you turned it down." Ronon pointed out.

John rolled his eyes and the table fell silent as everyone continued eating. In fact, it was oddly silent. He cocked his head to regard the third member of his team. "McKay. You are being remarkably quiet."

"Oh, I'm just biding my time Sheppard. Something like this has to be savored." Rodney answered smugly. "But I also would have gotten you a toaster."

The following dinner was a rather strange affair. John never thought he would be discussing weddings at dinner with his team, but Teyla and Ronon...well Teyla more than Ronon...were interested in what Earth weddings were like and they all started comparing Earth traditions to those of Athos and Sateda. To their credit, his friends only made the rare comment about his near brush with wedded bliss. It was almost like they could tell he still felt unsettled from his discussion with Elizabeth. The distraction was nice, not to mention it was fun watching Rodney trying to explain the 'YMCA' as a traditional dance. They lingered over dinner, and soon the mess hall was mostly empty, with only his table and a few others remaining.

"Thanks McKay," John said, reaching to take the cup of coffee Rodney had gotten him in addition to his own. In addition to common dance songs, Rodney surprisingly knew a lot about the origins and symbolism behind different parts of the wedding ceremony. It was a little surreal.

Rodney held the cup just out of his reach, "Now Sheppard, I'm giving you this cup of coffee, but it does not, in any way, indicate that I want to marry you. Just so we're clear."

John narrowed his eyes and took the coffee, while his so-called friends erupted in laughter.

"How long is this going to last?" He asked, after taking a sip.

"Biding my time, Sheppard." Rodney replied with an evil smile. He pulled out a data pad and proceeded to mark something off of what looked suspiciously like a list. "Biding my time."

TBC…..