Title: Our Mrs. Sheppard
Pairing: Sparky
Spoilers: Nothing specific. We'll say through season 3.
Disclaimer: I don't own them or Firefly. sigh
Summary: Sometimes John's off-world shenanigans catch up with him. And sometimes Elizabeth gets involved. Sparky.
Author's note: I was going to try to keep this whole story from John's point of view, but that just didn't happen, starting with this chapter. Let me know what you think!
Chapter 3- Cold Feet
After John left her office Elizabeth sat down to work despite it being early evening. She should have gone to grab dinner and bring it back, but with this afternoon's activities she wasn't up to seeing anyone at the moment. The Atlantis rumor mill was most likely in full swing by now, and she really didn't need to hear anymore about the almost-wedding, having been a participant in part of the action. So she tried to finish the paperwork that would have been done a couple of hours ago if not for Sheppard's latest incident. However, as was usually the case with a certain Colonel, she couldn't keep her focus on her work for very long. Instead of reading one of Zelenka's reports, her thoughts kept drifting back to the conversations that had filled her afternoon, first with Elder Alix and then with John.
When Elder Alix had brought up John's engagement, she hadn't known what to think. The rational side of her was convinced that it was some sort of misunderstanding. The pessimistic part thought it might be true and that John was looking for a way to broach the subject and hadn't gotten around to it yet. And the cautious leader in her thought that it could all be an elaborate trap for Sheppard. The cautious side had won out for the most part, which was why they had done all of their communicating through the Stargate rather than visit the planet and speak directly to the Elder Alix and his people.
Now that some time had passed, she could examine her actions. In that mixture of emotions, she had chosen to focus on anger. She had been so angry at John for getting himself into this situation. She assumed that he had been flirting with some girl and then stumbled into the entire mess in true John Sheppard flyboy style. No matter what the situation, he somehow managed to get into trouble, and it was up to her to get him out when he couldn't resolve it himself. She could handle sending rescue teams or signing off on his hair-brained schemes. She did however mind cleaning up his women problems. Admittedly it had only happened a few times, but when those situations did arise she always ended up getting hurt. In this case, hurt that he might be engaged in the first place and that he hadn't told her. And then angry at herself for feeling hurt when she had no right to feel that way. It was completely irrational considering she hadn't even known the entirety of the situation, but there it was. She had taken all of that anger on John when he really only deserved a portion of it, if any.
Elizabeth sighed and turned her chair to face away from the control room and any prying eyes. She still held Radek's report in one hand to keep up appearances. I need to stop doing this to myself, she thought. Being attracted to John Sheppard was one thing. He was a close friend, a very good looking man, who respected and protected her. It was entirely another thing to have this much of a crush on him. But just as soon as she would get over it, the idiot would do something endearing or heroic or almost die, again, and she would be back at square one. The man was infuriating.
Elder Alix had said 'your Colonel Sheppard', but he wasn't her Colonel Sheppard. And Elizabeth doubted he ever would be. She was convinced that John cared for her only as a friend. True, he would flirt with her, but he would flirt with a chair. No, she just wasn't his type. And she would want more than a fling. Not to mention the fraternization policies that sort of applied to them. She had also seen enough and heard enough rumors about him and Teyla to guess where things would likely go in the future.
"There, have you convinced yourself enough." She said aloud to the room. Great, now I'm talking to myself.
Regardless, wallowing in all of this wasn't going to resolve anything or help her move on. Besides, now that she had examined her actions she was feeling guilty. Arguments with John always left her feeling a little uneasy, but in this case, she had almost completely failed to rein in her emotions. She had treated him with suspicion and anger when he hadn't exactly deserved it. What he did deserve was an apology.
To make matters worse, even though the engagement between John and Imely was broken, she still had to figure out what to do about Gandria. It was most likely that this all had been a misunderstanding. But things in the Pegasus galaxy were rarely simple. So while it was unlikely that Sheppard had been targeted for a specific reason, he wasn't going to be allowed back on that planet for a while, a fact he was absolutely going love hearing.
"This is why they pay me the big bucks," she sighed.
TBC...