Chapter Six: Confessions

"So, why do you think you're so different?"

Gracie was sitting on top of the piano again, not paying attention, as Edward played simple songs. She blinked in surprise when she realized that he had stopped playing a long time ago and had just asked her a question. "Oh, I'm sorry, Edward. What did you say?"

"Why do you think you're different?" he repeated. "Why do you think you're immune to Alice's, Jasper's, and my gifts? Why do you think you have so much of an easier time resisting the call of blood than we do?"

Gracie shrugged. "Daddy always told me I had Irish magic. He said it would sometimes help me and it would sometimes bite me in the butt. I think it bit me in the butt when I was in my first week as a vampire and Jasper couldn't use his power to calm me down."

Edward laughed softly. "Irish magic?"

"Yeah. Ireland is supposed to be one of the most magical places on Earth. I've never actually been there, but Dad says I have a Celtic soul."

"Hmm. Interesting. So if anything strange happens while you're around, I should blame it on your soul?"

"Sure, why not?"

Edward looked away, his face closing. Gracie tilted her head and frowned, perplexed. "Edward? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he mumbled. "Just don't expect anything else to happen because of your soul."

"Why not? What are you talking about?"

He didn't answer and started to slowly play piano again. Gracie's frown deepened and she slid off the piano and walked over to sit next to Edward. She rested one hand on his shoulder and he stopped. "Edward, what are you talking about?" she asked softly.

Still refusing to look at her, Edward whispered, "Vampires don't have souls."

Even more confused, Gracie tightened her hand on his shoulder. "Wait... you think I don't have a soul?"

He nodded. "Vampires don't have souls," he repeated.

"So you think I don't have a soul. You think you took my soul from me by turning me into a vampire?"

Still looking away, he closed his eyes and nodded slowly.

"Edward."

He didn't respond. She didn't even think he was breathing.

"Edward, look at me, please."

He bit his lip, shoulders hunched up around his ears.

"Edward." Dropping her hand from his shoulder, she wound it around his waist instead. "Look at me." It was a command this time. He looked at her, and she reached up to lay her free hand on his cool cheek. "It's the soul that appreciates beauty," she said softly. "It's the soul that reaches out to others. It's the soul that can create things—like music." She gestured to the piano. "It's the soul that feels. It's the soul that loves." She leaned up to kiss his lips softly, tenderly.

He tried to look away but he couldn't. All he could do was bite his lip and attempt to control the burning sensation in the back of his throat.

"I have a soul, Edward." She kissed him again, longer this time. "So do you." She reached up and pulled his head down to rest on her shoulder. Stroking his hair, she kissed him on the ear. "And once more I'll say it; Edward, you've got to stop blaming yourself for... that. It was an accident, and hardly something you could have foreseen or controlled. And even besides all that, I'm not sorry that you did it. I don't regret it—why should you?"

He slid his arms around her waist, allowing his eyes to close. Gracie felt him relaxing, his lips moving softly against her neck. She tilted her head downward a little so that she could press her lips to the soft vein just below his ear. He kissed her throat; then, hesitantly, he trailed his fangs over her neck. She continued to stroke his hair, completely calm. He hesitated again, unsure.

"Edward," Gracie said in laughing reproach. She didn't want him to hesitate.

He touched his fangs to the vein running from behind her ear, then slowly sank in. Her blood was cool and tasted like new-fallen snow and pine needles.

Gracie rested her arms around him. After a few moments Edward pulled free, licking the blood off her neck. The puncture had already sealed up, showing as nothing but a crescent-shaped silver scar.

"You don't have to feel guilty anymore," she told him gently.

It was like a weight fell off of his shoulders. He sat up straight and pulled her closer to him, almost into his lap. Kissing her hair, Edward said mischievously, "Now it's your turn." He held his wrist up.

Without hesitating, Gracie settled back against his chest and pulled his wrist to her lips. Carefully, she bit into the flesh of his arm. He shivered, his fingers stroking her back lightly. She caressed his skin with her tongue for a moment, then lifted her fangs out of the puncture and watched it seal, licking her lips.

He wrapped his arms around her again. "What do I taste like?" he asked teasingly.

"Cinnamon." She traced the crescent scar on his wrist with her thumb. "I'll bet if I put your blood together with Niki's it would taste like a snickerdoodle. She smells like brown sugar and vanilla."

"I'd much rather mix my blood with yours," he told her impishly.

"Snowy mountain cinnamon," Gracie said thoughtfully. "Cinnamon snow mountain. Snowy cinnamon mountain. Mountain of cinnamon snow." She giggled.

Edward laughed and pulled her closer. "Gracie, you need to stop sniffing bad things."

"Edward! I do not take drugs! I create my own high."

"Are you sure it wasn't my cinnamon blood?"

"Hmm... good point. You could make millions off that stuff, you know. There's a new drug on the black market. Vampire blood! We'll make a killing."

"I don't know if it would taste as good to anyone else as it does to you."

She giggled and leaned back against him, turning to rest her cheek on his cool chest. "We should get Alice to bite you and see what she thinks."

"Jasper wouldn't be happy about that. Besides, I don't want to feel anyone's lips on my skin except yours."

"Aww, Edward. You're such a suck-up."

He laughed. "I might be a suck-up, but you're a goody-good."

Gracie pretended to gasp. "Flatterer!"

"Saint!"

"Oh, you did not just go there."

"Oh yeah—I went there."

Gracie turned, sat up on her knees, braced herself against his chest, and leaned up to kiss him. She parted his lips beneath hers, her tongue tracing over the inside of his mouth. Biting down delicately on his bottom lip, her fangs drew blood. He shivered and moaned, his eyes sliding closed. Her hands wandered down to press on the small of his back.

When she drew back, he was gasping for breath—force of habit. She grinned. "Now, was that the kiss of a saint?"

"Oh, to see how an angel has fallen..." He leaned in for another kiss.

"Jacob, it's time to have a talk," Niki announced.

Jacob looked up in surprise. "About what?"

"Baggage," she said firmly, and he understood instantly. He rose and followed her to his room.

Shutting the door gently, Niki pointed to the bed. "Sit down." When he obeyed, she perched on the chair, looking anywhere except at him.

"Where to start," she sighed. "Ah. I know. Well, obviously, I was an accident. I was also born while my mother was addicted to crack, so I was arrived a crack addict. She didn't take me to a doctor until it was almost too late—I was going into withdrawal. After that, Mom tried really hard to stay off the crack. She didn't really have any money for it, anyway, so things were a little better. My brother was almost never home at the time—he was in a gang, and he mostly stayed away. He said it was because he didn't want us getting hurt, but that's a load of fluff and applesauce. He just didn't want to be around us. I don't really blame him. I didn't want to be around us, either. When he died—or, supposedly died—I hardly even noticed.

"We lived like that for a long time—barely scraping together enough money for two meals a day. I never even knew my father, until one day Mom took me to his house. She handed me over to him and, next thing I know, all I can hear is people talking about how she went and killed herself. I have to admit I did everything in my power to make Dane's life a living hell. That might be why he hated me so much.

"The first time Dane came home really drunk was when I was not quite seven yet. He came home falling-down drunk and so pissed off he couldn't see straight. He started breaking things. When I came out to see what was wrong, he looked like he wanted to break me. He told me to go to my room. When I didn't leave fast enough, he threw a plate at me. It was heavy porcelain, and it hit me hard. I won't go into the gory details—suffice to say I had to take medicine for a mild concussion and have a lot of stitches. After that, well... I stayed out of Dane's way." Jacob seemed about to interrupt, but Niki held up her hand for silence and continued.

"Just a little while after my seventh birthday, I met a foreign exchange student at my school who was training in ninjutsu—he had been since he could walk. I asked him to teach me. He said yes. Since then, I wasn't nearly as afraid of Dane hurting me. I wasn't an expert—and I'm still not—but I can handle one idiot drunken man. I'd been busy that whole time learning to defend myself, so I didn't have time to get into drugs or anything, though I easily could have. Not too long after the nine-year mark in my training, we moved here." She fell silent.

"Wow," said Jacob softly.

"There's more." She avoided his eyes, staring out the window. "I want you to know it, but... not the others. And I know you can't exactly help but tell them."

"None of us will think any worse of you," he told her gently.

She looked at him, studying his face for a long, silent moment. At last she sighed. "When I was seven..." she began, "right before I decided to learn to defend myself..." She bit her lip, then blurted it out. "Dane raped me."

"What?!"

"You heard me." She couldn't look at him anymore. She felt tears rising in her throat, but fought them down. "That was why I asked my friend to teach me. That was why I felt like I needed to be able to protect myself." Her voice trembled and finally broke. She closed her eyes.

Jacob rose and crossed the room to her, catching her up into his arms. He buried his face in her neck. "Oh, Niki. Niki. I love you. I love you. He's never going to hurt you again. No one's ever going to hurt you." She was crying, and he cradled her gently, rubbing her back. "No one is ever going to hurt you, ever again. Oh, Niki."

"Jacob." Her voice broke.

"I'm here."

"Don't ever leave me. I need you. I need you so much. I need you like I need oxygen." She clung to him, her hands fisted on the back of his shirt. "I need you like I need food and water. I need you like I need life. More than I need life. Don't ever leave me..."

"I won't," he murmured, caressing her back. "Never, ever. I'll always be here. I'll never leave you, and I'll never let anyone hurt you."

"I love you, Jacob."

"I love you, too, Niki. More than anyone or anything."

She buried her face in his shoulder, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Don't ever let me go..."

"I never will."

"Jake? You don't have to be eighteen to elope, right?"

"It depends on whether you have parental permission..."

"Could we work around that?"

"Oh, I'm sure we could. If we can't, your bloodsucker friend, Alice... she'll work something out."

"Great. Jake... I want to marry you, now."

He kissed her. "Just let me draw up the paperwork," he teased.

Soon everything had been sorted out, with some help from Carlisle and Alice. Since Niki was the last surviving member of her family (vampires not included), Carlisle took temporary custody of her. He had a good reputation with the adoption agencies, since he had supposedly successfully adopted and raised five foster children. With his and Billy's signatures, it was quite easy to find a way for Niki and Jacob to elope.

They snuck back into the house later that night. Niki lay next to Jacob in bed, exhausted and excited at the same time. "Jacob... I am not looking forward to telling everyone about this tomorrow... I'm too tired to deal with everyone."

"Don't worry about that right now," he soothed.

"Mmm-kay. I won't. At long last, your virtue is mine!"

He laughed. "All yours," he agreed.

It was morning, and Niki—grouchy as ever in the morning—was sitting on Billy's counter eating a bowl of cereal, when Paul barged in.

He glanced around. "Hey, Tinkerbelle. Jake around?"

She nodded. "He should be down any minute."

"Oh, okay. I'll wait." He leaned against the counter as she finished her bowl of cereal.

Jacob came, jumping the stairs two at a time. "Hey, Paul. What's up?"

"I just came to tell you Sam won't be able to make the next run, so he's slotting you in as Alpha." Paul glanced back at Niki and his eyes narrowed. "Hey, Tinkerbelle... what's that on your neck?"

"This?" Niki pointed to the red mark above her collarbone. "Oh. Just a mosquito bite." The lie came smoothly. Her eyes flicked to Jacob, who was blushing madly. "What's the matter, Jake?" she teased. "Got a few mosquito bites in places you don't generally display to the public?"

Jacob shook his head, cheeks burning darker. Paul glanced at him and gave a cry of surprise. "Hey, you have one, too! You have matching mosquito bites!"

"Yep," said Niki, hopping off the counter and heading for the door. "Those mosquitoes, they're real freaks. Watch out for them."

Both boys watched her leave. "If that's a mosquito bite, I'm a mosquito," Jacob mumbled, too low for Paul to hear. "Literally."

Niki walked back up the stairs whistling, hands in her pockets. The next time Jake turns into a wolf, Paul will know... and he'll come after both of us with a hunting knife. She smirked to herself. So will the rest of them. But that's okay. It'll be Jake and me against the world. She giggled. Except Gracie. She'll just be disappointed that she didn't get to be a bridesmaid.

"OH MY GOD, JACOB BLACK! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T TELL US!" Leah shrieked at the top of her lungs.

The others winced and some of them covered their sensitive ears. They were pretty ticked off at Jacob too, however. "Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Sam asked quietly.

"Niki didn't want to face everyone," Jacob said calmly. "I was going to wait until she felt up to it."

Quil was excited. "But that's great! You guys are married! How cool is that?"

"You should have waited," grumbled Embry.

"Waited for what?" Jacob snapped. "I've reached physical maturity, and Niki will too, soon. If we should have waited to find out if our love was real—I imprinted, remember? I'm not going anywhere. Niki might have changed her mind, but she was the one who insisted on eloping in the first place."

"He's got a point," Jared told Embry.

"Look, I made a decision," Jacob said, "and I stand by it. If you don't feel the same way, that's your problem. I'm sorry if you don't like it."

"It was your choice to make," Sam said softly, "and whether we agree or not doesn't matter. We'll stand behind you and support you, as your pack."

"Hey, I'm all for it, anyway," Paul said with a shrug. "Tinkerbelle needs somebody to look after her, since her parents are dead and her damn brother's trying to kill her. I can't do it all myself, you know."

Jacob laughed. "I'd be happy for the extra help. Niki's a handful."

"There's no doubt about that," Paul mumbled.

"OH MY GOD! NIKI! I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!"

Niki leaned back and grinned. She had known that Gracie would react like this. Instead of being angry or feeling betrayed, like the pack had, Gracie was delirious with joy. She had pulled Alice into her delirium, as well, and Alice was laughing and dancing around Niki in circles. Edward had very calmly congratulated Niki and then stepped back to allow the females room for their delighted dancing. Esme was crying with happiness. Carlisle was sternly lecturing Niki on the responsibilities of marriage, to which she was not listening. Emmett was grinning and clapping her on the back. Rosalie was quiet, looking forlorn. Jasper was his usual self.

"I'm glad you're so happy about this," Niki said dryly.

"Of course I am! You're married! Jacob will take good care of you."

Niki frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"I just realized something."

"What?"

"I'm going to be locked up in a box for the rest of my life."

"Oh, don't worry about that. Alice and I will kidnap you whenever you want. If Jacob tried to stop us, he'd answer to Edward and Jasper."

"Don't let them hurt him."

"They won't."

"Okay then... good plan."

"What about kids? Are you going to have kids?"

Niki snorted. "Not anytime soon, no. Of course, sometimes protection unexpectedly doesn't work..."

Gracie laughed. "But someday?"

"Someday. Maybe. When my life isn't so screwed up. I'm not gonna bring a kid into this world and say, 'Whoops, I can't even straighten out my own damn life, much less yours. Tough luck, kid.' No chance in hell."

Gracie laughed and hugged Niki. "When you figure things out, you'll make a good mother," she promised sagely. "And Jacob will be a wonderful father."

"I hope so," Niki muttered.

"He will. And you won't be on your own, either. You'll have the whole pack to support you. We'll be there, too." She gestured around to the Cullens. "We'll be behind you every step of the way. We love you, Niki. You have to realize that. We're not going to say, 'Oh, she's fifteen, she got married, oh, teenage pregnancy,' and ditch you. No. We'll be behind you every step. If you turn away and walk a darker path, we won't give up on you." Gracie rocked her like a child, stroking her hair. "When you come back, we'll welcome you with open arms. Always."

Niki clung to her, tears filling her eyes. "I love you, Gracie."

"I love you, too, Niki. We all do."

Trying to recover her usual sarcasm, Niki pulled away and smirked. "That was very poetic, by the way."

Gracie giggled. "I know. I'm Irish. We're poets, the lot of us."

"I can tell. You should write poetry and let me read it."

"Well, actually, about that... Edward and I have been doing this thing where I'll write a song and he writes the music to it. Then he can play it on piano and I can sing."

"That's great! Write a love song for me and Jacob, okay? And then let me hear it."

Gracie grinned. "I'll get right on it."

That night, Niki was lying in bed with Jacob. "...Jake? I have a question."

"Ask."

"Do you want kids?"

He chuckled. "Someday. But not right now."

"No," she agreed. "Not right now. But, if we had kids... would that make you happy?

He stroked her hair. "Of course. And it would make me happy if it was just you and me for the rest of our lives. I'm happy either way."

"Jake? Do you think I'd be a good mother?"

"Once you mature a little, yes." He kissed her forehead. "You have a huge capacity to love people, Niki. You've just been hurt so much before that the damage is going to take a while to fix."

"I'll never be fixed."

"We'll see about that, Nikita Black." He kissed her on the lips this time. "I'll just keep loving you, and we'll see what happens."

She traced his lips with her index finger. "I love you, Jake. I love you more than I can say. I love you so much I think I'd die if I lost you."

"Then rest easy, Niki. You'll never lose me."

"Promise?"

He caught her hand and kissed her fingertips. "I swear. For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. 'Til death do us part."

"I'm hoping that won't be for a while."

He chuckled. "I won't let anything happen to you, Niki."

"Of course not. You have me locked away in a box, remember?"

"And I'm never letting you out."

"Gracie says she and Alice are going to kidnap me whenever I want to get out of the house."

Jacob was silent for a moment, stroking her hair thoughtfully. "You'd be safe enough with them," he said at last.

"Really? I thought you didn't trust the Cullens. You said they were filthy bloodsuckers and I shouldn't hang out with them."

He touched her face. "Gracie, at least, I trust. And I know that she's stronger than Alice—she can protect you, if need be."

"She won't need to protect me from Alice. But with both of them together there, they can protect me from pretty much anything else. I'll be super-safe."

He laughed. "So are they helping you escape your box, or just giving you a bigger, better box?"

"...Damn."

"Oh, Niki. You must learn that you're never going to have to fear for your life on an hourly basis again—and that means living in a box."

"Damn!"

"You're not really upset." He kissed her. "You are sooo happy about not being afraid anymore."

"Mmm, yes... so happy about being under house arrest for the remainder of my life..."

"It's not that strict."

She laughed. "It will be if Paul has any say!"

"Then we won't give him any."

"We don't have to give him any. He'll take some."

"Yeah, Paul's good at that, isn't he?"

"Very. Jake, would you be absolutely disgusted if I suggested going on a double-date with Gracie and Edward?"

He started laughing, so hard the bed shook. "No, no," he gasped when he finally calmed down. "No, I'd enjoy seeing that bloodsucker get tamed by his girlfriend. Just as long as they don't kiss. That would be nasty—bloodsucker makeout session. Do they kiss? Or do they just bite each other?"

"Vampire hickeys," Niki giggled. "I don't know. I'll have to ask Gracie about that."

"Oh, don't. She'll guess it was me that asked!"

"No, she won't. Besides, it's an interesting question. OH MY GOD, JACOB... do vampires have sex?"

"NIKI!"

"What? It's a perfectly valid question. I mean, they don't have babies, right? At least, Rosalie and Emmett have been married, like, twenty times and they haven't been popping out any mini-pires. Do they just not have sex? Or is it just that they can't have kids? And when they're together, are they just, like, all over each other with their fangs? Or do they have to be careful not to bite each other?"

"Niki... I cannot believe we're having this conversation."

"What conversation? I'm asking questions. All you're doing is telling me to stop asking questions. If this is a conversation, it's one-sided."

"Niki..."

"What?"

He kissed her slowly, lingeringly. "Shut up."

"Okay," she sighed. "But we will continue this conversation in the morning."

"I'm petrified."

"Aren't you just? I really do need to ask Gracie about this. Of course, she probably hasn't had sex with Edward. She'd want to wait until she married him. Ooh! Rosalie! She'll tell me. Rose likes me. Emmett said it's really weird that she likes me, because I'm human and she doesn't like humans..."

"You're not human."

"But that's just it! Why would she like a werewolf, of all people! Oh, and that reminds me. Do I start turning into a werewolf soon?"

"You should."

"How will I know?"

"Oh, believe me, Niki. You'll know. It's hard to miss."

"Oh. Does it hurt?"

"Yeah."

"Damn."

"Don't worry. I'll be right here, the whole time."

"How long does it last?"

"Well, for us, a few weeks. I don't know about you."

"Right. 'Cause I'm a weirdo."

"You're Cherokee."

"I have an Indian lady hiding in my body."

"Something like that, yeah. Niki, you're starting to talk nonsense. You need sleep."

"NO! I don't wanna sleep! I want to stay up."

"Why?"

"We've only been married two days, Jacob. Our passion isn't supposed to wane for a few years."

"Our passion isn't waning. You need to sleep!"

"Mmm... I'm a teenager. I could go all night without sleeping. Of course, I'd have to sleep all day."

"Of course."

"Come on, Jake." She pulled him closer, already unbuttoning his shirt.

"Niki, have you been sniffing something I should know about?"

"I'm high off you, Jacob Black. Come here."

He sighed and surrendered to her.

When Bella heard that Alice was out hunting, she decided to take a short trip to the Cullens'. She rumbled to a stop in front of the mansion and turned off the ignition.

Emmett opened the door before she knocked. His eyes instantly were cold. "Bella," he growled. "What do you want?"

Bella was shocked by his hostility. Emmett had always treated her like his kid sister, with teasing adoration. "Um... is Edward here?"

"Why do you care?" he demanded rudely.

"I... I want to see him..."

"I seriously doubt he wants to see you." Emmett was gritting his teeth. It looked like he could barely restrain himself from attacking her.

"Emmett, what are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about?" He looked really angry now. He probably would have hit her if Jasper hadn't appeared right then.

"Emmett, Rosalie needs your help with the car," Jasper told him. Rosalie didn't really need any help, but it would get Emmett away from Bella. Emmett, glad for the excuse, left.

Jasper turned to Bella. "What are you doing here, Bella?" His voice was as flat as always, his eyes distant. She couldn't sense hostility from him, but neither did he bring the aura of peace that he usually had.

"I wanted to see Edward. Is... is he here?"

Jasper nodded and vanished. A moment later, Edward appeared in the doorway.

"Bella." His voice was cool and emotionless.

"Edward, what's going on?"

"What are you talking about?" His face was blank, completely uninterested.

"The way you're all treating me. Alice yelled at me the other day. Emmett looked like he wanted to tackle me. Jasper's not being himself. And now you're acting like I'm some stranger that showed up on your doorstep and you don't know me at all."

He looked at her coolly. "I don't know you, Isabella. I thought I did. I was wrong."

That stung, but what hurt the most was that he called her Isabella instead of Bella. "What are you talking about?" Her voice was rising. "I don't know what's going on! You're all treating me weird and I'm the one who's off?"

His lips tightened, but his eyes didn't warm one iota. "Yes. You are."

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard what you said to Jacob." His voice was still flat, still emotionless. "Alice saw it. She told the others."

Bella's stomach dropped. "I... you know I love you more than Jacob."

He lifted one eyebrow, still completely uninterested. "Do you? You can't have both of us, Isabella. At this point, you can't have either of us."

"What do you mean?" Fear made her voice crack.

"You had your chance to choose one or another. Now you have neither. I don't love you, Isabella Swan. I'm beginning to wonder if I ever did."

Bella tried to speak, but her voice was no more than a whisper. "You're just saying that to protect me."

"I'm not really concerned about protecting you anymore. You've shown me clearly enough you don't want me protecting you." He shrugged. "Maybe you'll find someone else. I have."

"Edward! You're the only one I could ever love!"

"You loved Jacob."

"That's not the same! And even if it was, he imprinted on someone."

"Of course. But you can love another like you loved Jacob. I heard that Mike Newton is available." His face was no longer detached—he looked almost smug. "Run home to Charlie, Isabella. Live a normal life and get a normal boyfriend. There is nothing between us anymore. I wonder if there ever was." He shut the door in her face.

Bella stood there stupidly for a moment, then banged on the door with her fist. She waited for a moment, then banged again. "Edward!" she screamed. "Come back out here! Talk to me! Edward, you still love me! I know you do!"

But as long as she stood there banging on the door, no one answered. The Cullens had cut Isabella Swan out of their lives.