Okay, let me explain a little where I'm coming from on this one since this whole Sofia thing seems to, um, strike a nerve. You gotta think Sara and Grissom got together somewhere between Committed and, obviously, Way to Go. And he asks Sofia to dinner and they have a mild flirtation going on for a few episodes at the same time he's going to Sara's and holding her hand and freaking out when she gets attacked at the hospital. So, therefore, I thought Sofia might have had a part in all this, ya see?!

Anyway, thanks for the reviews. I've got at least one more chapter in me, after that, we'll have to see. :)

It took Grissom 2 months to finally both manage to get Sara alone and get up the nerve to tell her what he had been rehearsing in his head. And all it took was an inmate at an insane asylum to nearly cut Sara's throat.

Grissom and Sara were investigating a murder at Desert State Mental Hospital. Grissom knew Sara was uncomfortable before she even stepped inside, but she waved it off, saying she could handle it. But when the patient they were investigating for murder, Adam Trent, cornered Sara and almost very much cut her throat, Grissom knew he had made a mistake by taking her to this place. He made the biggest mistake, one that would continue to haunt him for many months, when he wandered away from the nurse's station where Sara was to find someone who could open some drawers. He left Sara alone and vulnerable, and sure enough, Adam Trent attacked. And when Gil realized something was going on, he raced to the station and watched what was happening with horror. He didn't know what Adam would do to Sara, and this scared Gil to his very soul. He watched helplessly, yelling for someone to just unlock the damn door already.

When Sara got away and raced out of the room, she confided again in Gil about her many trips to the hospital as a child. And when she was done, Gil held her hand once again. And then he said, "I realize this is a bad time to ask, but will you have dinner with me tomorrow? I...want to talk." He wanted to talk to her then and there. He wanted to take her away from this bad place, take her in his arms and whisk her away from all the dangers that the world contained for her, but they still had work to do. A lot of work.

"Yeah, I would...I would like that," she said, looking him in the eye. They shared a look that lasted just a little too long.

When Grissom went home that afternoon, he found himself wanting nothing more than to sleep. Usually after a shift he found something to occupy himself for a few hours before getting an hour or two of sleep before the next shift. But that afternoon was different. All he wanted to do was drift off into unconsciousness.

He dreamed. He dreamed about waking up foggily, peeling the sleep out of his eyes, throwing some water on his face. He dreamed about getting in his car, driving to Sara's apartment and knocking loudly on her door. He dreamed about how she opened the door after a few minutes, having just woken up herself. He dreamed of staying silent and letting his hands do the talking. He dreamed of taking her hand, leading her inside her own apartment, pinning her against the wall and giving her a long, slow, passionate kiss that said anything he needed to say. He dreamed of her smiling, a smile so content and happy it made his heart ache. He dreamed of them moving to the bedroom, where they performed in bed what they had been dancing around for too many years to count. He dreamed of them falling asleep together, sweaty and satisfied.

He didn't want to wake up from this dream but eventually he did. He thought for one second about getting his car and acting out his dream, but what if something were to go wrong? What if she wasn't at home? What if she took his gestures the wrong way? What if she didn't want the same things he wanted? Grissom was just too logical for something like that to happen. He wished to be impulsive and crazy, but he wasn't. He was a supervisor, a boss, a mentor, and he would act like one.

The next night, a few hours before shift, Sara met Gil at her favorite vegetarian restaurant, Komol. She insisted she'd go wherever he wanted, but he insisted more that they go to where she wanted. He could deal with vegetarian food for one night, he told her. He knew she had no idea what the hell was on his mind. And he was very anxious to know what she would say once he told her.

They met in the front and walked in, and were seated at a booth. They smiled at each other before looking at the menu. Grissom decided on the simple Stir-Fried Broccoli. Sara decided on something called the Kang Ped Delight, which had bamboo or something in it. Grissom was impressed with her adventurous tastes, and he told her so.

"Yeah, I've gotten pretty adventurous with this stuff since I became a vegetarian. Which I guess I have you to thank for," she said, grinning at him.

"Well, we really got something out of that little pig, huh?" He said, thinking back to the pig they used in an experiment many years ago.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence for a few seconds.

"Uh, Sara-"

"Look, Grissom-"

They both giggled. Grissom said, "You first."

"I just wanted to say, thank you. Thank you for letting me confide in you the past couple of months. I've been talking to a therapist, but it's a very slow process. Talking to you has been really helpful to me, and I appreciate that. And what happened at the hospital, I know I freaked out a little. I admit, I was scared."

"Well, I don't blame you. Not only was it full of bad memories for you, but you were in a life or death situation. I'm proud of how you handled it, Sara, I really am. And you will never understand how sorry I am that I left you alone. God, Sara, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault. But thank you for being there for me. It means so much."

He nodded and gave her a smile. He knew he had to say something now, or he would probably lose his nerve forever. I wouldn't put it past me, he thought.

"Well, I am happy that you feel safe in confiding in me. Look, there's something you need to know. I've been wanting to tell you this for a while, and--"

"You and Sofia are together, right? I knew it. I mean, that's great, "she said, not looking happy about it at all. "I'm happy for you. That's wonderful. I mean, that's great. I mean, that's really--"

Grissom reached out and again grabbed her hand, a gesture they were both getting used to.

"Sara, please, let me talk. Sofia and I did have dinner, yes. But we aren't together. We spent most of the night talking about you, actually."

She frowned.

"What did she say about me?"

"Nothing that wasn't true, Sara. But that's not the point," he rushed on as he saw her start to frown again. "I've realized, over the years and especially over the past couple of months, that I...have feelings for you. Now, these feelings are complicated and I don't always understand them. And I actually thought I had feelings for Sofia but then she made me see who I really want to be with, and Sara, I know I haven't been very good about my feelings in the past, and I know I'm not being very forthcoming now, either, and what I'm really trying to say, which I've been trying to say for a while now, but it's hard for me to say because well, I don't know..." Gil stopped talking, almost forgetting what his point actually was.

"Grissom? I'd sort of like for you to finish your thought."

"Okay. I love you."

Sara stared at him. She stared at her boss, her peer, her confidante. She stared at him directly in his piercing blue eyes. And it made him very, very nervous.

Before she had a chance to reply, he added, "And I know that might be strange coming from me and I admit I don't really know how to express love in a way that is normal, so this is really all that I have to offer, that being, you know, my love--"

And now it was her turn to grab his hand.

"Grissom, please shut up. You don't have to talk anymore. I...I love you, too. I have for a long time, but you know that. Hell, everyone knows that. But the past couple of years have been hard. You have rejected me more than once, and it hurt. So...I don't know what exactly you want me to say right now."

Well, that was not the response he was expecting. Not for the first time, he questioned relationships and why they had to be so complicated. Bugs were simple. They had a rhyme and a reason. They had a purpose and they stuck with it at all costs. Why couldn't Sara understand he was baring his soul here? He knew he rejected her in the past, but it wasn't the past anymore! Why couldn't she just accept him and take him into her life? He didn't understand.

"What do I want you to say? I don't have a script, Sara. I guess what I want to tell you is that I want to do this. I want to start a relationship with you outside of work. I want to take care of you, I want to help you. I want us to have a partnership, you know? I want you."

She smiled, that famous smile of hers he loved to see. Whenever she gave him that smile, he felt like things would be okay. But now he wasn't so sure. He wasn't exactly expecting her to jump out of her chair and kiss him on the lips, but he did expect a little more than this.

"I appreciate you reaching out to me like this, Grissom. I do. And a year ago I would be sitting next to you, holding your hand by now. But I've been to counseling, and I've done some soul-searching, and I don't want to rush head-first into something that might be more harmful than helpful. I just...want to know you're serious before this happens."

Grissom was quiet for a minute, thoughtful. It was Sara's turn to be nervous. He just didn't know how he could reassure her that he wouldn't hurt her.

"Well...I know I've hurt you in the past, and I am deeply, deeply sorry about that. And I wish I could say that I will never hurt you again, but what do I know? We can't make each other promises like that. Right now I can offer you facts. The facts are...I am in love with you. I want to be in a relationship with you. I want to take care of you. I want to be the man you thought I was back when you had your feelings for me. Because, Sara, I didn't think that I could ever be who you thought I was back then. But now? I will do what it takes to make sure I am."

And he was spent. Those 11 sentences were probably the most emotion anyone had every gotten out of him. Sara looked like she had the wind knocked out of her. It took them both a minute to recover.

Thankfully, their food was finally brought out, and they eat in a somewhat uncomfortable silence.

After a silence that lasted seemingly forever, Sara took a gulp of water, swallowed, and said, "We'll see. Let's take it slow, okay? Be patient with me."

Grissom nodded, but wasn't quite satisfied.

"I'll wait for you, Sara. I'll wait as long as you'll let me. But I have to know...do you want this to happen? I understand your reluctance, of course. But do you even want...to be with me?"

Sara took another gulp of water. He guessed her food was pretty spicy.

"Look, I may be taking it slow, but know this, Grissom - I have never wanted anything more. I'm just trying to be less impulsive and more cautious. But believe me, I want this. More than you will ever know."

That was all Grissom needed to hear. They smiled at each other and continued eating their dinner. When they were finished, they walked out of the restaurant hand in hand. Grissom couldn't imagine anything could feel better than that, not even his bugs or his experiments. Before getting into their separate cars, he squeezed her hand, and they shared a goofy grin.