Well, I kinda want to continue with this fic but it can't all be about Sofia, so I guess it's more heading in the direction of what other distractions get in the way of Grissom and Sara's relationship. And of course, there are many.
A YEAR OR SO LATER...
Gil Grissom had obsessed over cases before, but there hadn't been many that frustrated him more than this miniature serial killer. Serial killers always made him furious. The way Paul Millander slipped through his fingers was still something he had nightmares about. But this miniature killer was really something. Whoever it was, they made tiny replicas of crime scenes and sent them to Gil, leaving him and his team to try to figure out the missing pieces of the puzzle.
It got so intense, he almost forget he was in a relationship. He saw Sara every day, a good portion of the day, and yet they barely got any time to be alone together. Sometimes he just wanted to stop everything, leave the lab and drag her home with him, but he couldn't do that. Ever. He was a supervisor. He was in charge of a very high-profile team in Las Vegas, and he had responsibilities.
Fortunately, Sara understood this. Well, most of the time. Sometimes she, too, got frustrated with the amount of time they spent together. But they were both workaholics, caught up in the game that was solving the crime. He admired her abilities, her attention to detail, her love of science. He also loved the curves of her body, the way she moved when they made love, the way she moaned when he kissed her earlobe, how she smiled at him when they both woke up from a long, much-needed sleep.
As time went on, Gil found himself becoming increasingly more frustrated as to how many distractions would come up to try to thwart his romance with his young and beautiful colleague. So many times he found himself wanting something but needing to tend to his obligations first. And this serial killer was not helping things at all. This killer was so imaginative, so very anal about all the little pieces of the puzzle. Grissom almost felt like he could relate to his tormenter. One was trying to create a puzzle and the other was trying desperately to solve it.
One day, after shift was over and everyone was scattering every which way, Sara came into Grissom's office while he was studying yet another miniature.
"Grissom...why don't you come home with me? I'll make you some lunch, we can watch a movie or something, maybe go to sleep or something?"
He shook his head.
"You know I want that, Sara, but this case is killing me. I feel like it's just in front of my nose and yet I can't see it."
"Well," Sara said gently, "It'll be there later, Gil." She hated calling him by his first name, but he insisted. He told her it felt so formal when she'd always call him by his last name.
"Yes, it will, but maybe so will another murder. This will be over soon, Sara, I promise. We WILL catch this guy."
She smiled, muttered a good-bye and left his office alone yet again. He knew she'd just go home, cook some veggie enchiladas and do some internet research, maybe getting a couple of hours of sleep before the next shift. He hated that she couldn't sleep. He wish he could be there to help.
When he found himself alone in his office, he turned off the light, locked the door and put his feet up on the desk. He gave himself a few minutes to zone out, to forget about this damn serial killer for a second. He found himself thinking about the rocky beginning of his and Sara's relationship, and how it took her a while to really give in and trust him.
A YEAR SO AGO
After their dinner where Grissom confessed his feelings for her, their relationship was slow to develop. But it did, in fact, develop.
Sara rapidly warmed to Sofia now that she knew they weren't competitors. The team of Sofia, Greg and Sara did well together and received many compliments from the higher-ups. But then Nicky was kidnapped, and everything changed.
They all watched him down in that coffin, surrounded by ants, pleading for his life. Warrick watched as his best friend nearly took his own life. Grissom read Nicky's lips while he left his good-bye message. Everyone else watched in horror as their colleague and friend went through something they could never dream possible. For days after Nicky was rescued, Grissom and Sara found solace in each other. They clung to each other in the throes of a new relationship. They spent as much time as they could together, acting almost like newlyweds. In fact, their first kiss was merely hours after they found Nicky. It sounds callous, but they couldn't help themselves.
When Nicky was found, they all found themselves following his ambulance to the hospital. Nobody wanted to go home, and nobody wanted to go back to the lab. It was all about Nick, their good friend and co-worker. Grissom, Sara, Warrick and Greg stayed at the hospital nearly 24 hours, until the next shift started. Catherine went home to her daughter, threatening violence on anyone who didn't call her the second something new with Nick happened.
After an hour or two, Grissom rose from his uncomfortable waiting room chair to retrieve some coffee. Sara followed him. Nobody thought this was strange; they just thought the two of them wanted coffee.
"Hey," Sara said, watching Grissom fill up his cup.
"Hey," he said. He looked so very tired.
"I just wanted a second alone with you. It's been such a crazy night, and I just...needed a second with you."
He nodded. He gave her a long, comfortable hug.
The two had been seeing each other just a month or two, and had yet to kiss. It was taking them longer than they though to get used to the whole touchy-feely thing after not being able to touch each other for so long. And, of course, they couldn't be clingy at work, that just wouldn't be professional. So when they touched, even if it was Grissom taking Sara's hand or Sara giving Grissom a neck rub after a long day, it was always a strong gesture. It always meant something. It was never devoid of meaning.
After the hug, they both smiled at each other. Grissom moved a strand of Sara's hair that was in her eyes. And then he leaned forward and kissed her.
Sara was so shocked that she dropped her coffee. On Grissom's foot, no less.
"Oh, my god! I am so sorry, Griss, let me--"
"Shh," he said, not caring about the heat that was generating on his shoe.
And he kissed her again. And it lasted a long, long time. And it was so, so good.
When they both came up for air, Nick's doctor came pacing down the hall. They composed themselves and talked to the doctor about Nick's condition.
"He's going to be fine. There's not going to be any lasting effects from the ant bites except a few scars. He does have a few scratches and cuts, but they're all superficial. It could have been worse, but this guy's a fighter, you should be proud."
The doctor went back to the operating room, and Sara and Grissom went back to their colleagues, holding hands until they were near the waiting room.
That had been a nice, quiet moment in their relationship, bonding over the near-death experience of their friend Nick. And in the year they had been together, they would share many more moments like that. But that's really all their relationship was - a string of moments that occurred when they had a chance to get away from the lab.
Sometimes they'd talk about how they ended up in a career that demanded so much of their free time, how they allowed their job to completely consume them. But they also agreed that speaking for the victim of an unspeakable tragedy was way more satisfying than many people would ever understand. They agreed that it was frustrating to be in a relationship where they saw each other so infrequently, but they also both acknowledged that it would be worth it in the end.
BACK TO THE PRESENT
Gil drifted back from his daydream.
His relationship with Sara was completely satisfying to him, but then again, it worked well for his personality. He worked, worked, worked, and when he felt like he couldn't work anymore, he found comfort in her arms. He knew that Sara wanted more of him, but he took it for granted. And he knew he was taking it for granted, and yet never quite did anything about it. On one hand, they talked over and over again about how the job took precedence, how important it was to understand each other's roles in the lab. And on the other, he knew that this would all come to a head eventually, and Sara would be the one to instigate it.
He was right.
Eventually, they found the source of the miniatures, one Mr. Ernie Dell. It haunted Grissom to watch that man kill himself, and it kept him up for days. Everyone thought they had caught the miniature killer, but Grissom wasn't so sure. There were so many little things that still bothered him, and again, it was like it was right in front of his face.
To get his mind off the situation, Sara took Grissom to Komol to try to get his mind back to the present while reminding him in a girly way where it all began. However, instead of being happy to get out of the lab and get his mind on other things, Grissom did not look happy.
"What's wrong?" Sara finally asked after trying to start numerous conversations.
"Ernie Dell was not the miniature killer, I'm almost sure. God, this is really getting to me, Sara, I can't even tell you."
Sara smiled at him, and even that did nothing to ease his worry.
"Griss, he confessed. It's over. Why would he confess if he didn't do it?"
"I don't know, but I have a feeling--"
Sara put a finger on his lips. He looked offended.
"It's over. He confessed. Please, come back to the present. Enjoy our few minutes we have to ourselves, okay? Is that really too much to ask?"
"Yes, actually, it is. I just can't get my mind off this guy--"
"You never seem to be able to get your mind off of something, Gil Grissom. You know, it's okay to just relax sometimes. It's okay to take a deep breath, recognize a job well done and relax with your loved ones. But...you can't do that. In the year or so we've been seeing each other, there's always something that takes you away from me. Yes, I understand that happens in our line of work, because you know why? I'm there, too. I see what's happening. And I'm just as much of a workaholic as you are. But I can take a few minutes and say, "Wow, it sucked at work today but at least I have you." And you, it appears, aren't capable of doing that."
Gil was quiet. She was right, and he had no way of defending himself
"Nothing to say to that, huh? Look, I'm gonna go, okay? I'm gonna call a cab and go back to work. When you feel like you can take, oh, I don't know, an hour off, let me know. Until then...well, whatever."
She looked at Gil and he gave her a long, desperate look. For a moment, he could tell she was tempted to stay. But she slowly got up, walked out of the door and didn't look behind her.
He sighed. She was right, and he needed to do something about it. He didn't want to lose Sara Sidle, not now, not ever. She didn't know it, but she was the other half. She made him whole. He was tempted to throw everything to the wind for her, but he'd rather just find a balance. He wanted to know how to balance both the job and the relationship. She could do it, and before he came into her life, she was the biggest workaholic he knew. So why couldn't he do it? Why couldn't he cut the cord?
Grissom knew what he had to do. He was offered a teaching position at Williams College. It would just be for a month, and he would teach a seminar on Thoreau's Walden, something he had read about extensively. He ran it past Ecklie when it first came up and Ecklie, much to Grissom's surprise, was enthusiastic about the opportunity. He thought it would be good P.R. for the lab.
It was what he needed, he thought. He needed a sabbatical to take time to think about what was really important. He didn't understand how to balance his relationship and his career at the same time, but if meant losing Sara Sidle, he would figure it out.
TO BE CONTINUED...