Chapter 2

Saffron hit the deck and Mal lowered his weapon and turned to look at Zoë, his right eyebrow raised, forehead creased in a frown of amusement.

"Why Zoe, that surely 'aint no way to be treatin' someone who was once so dear to me."

"Sorry Sir. Your – ex - wife brings out the best in me."

"That's my girl!" Wash whispered to Book.

Simon rushed to Saffron's side and examined the side of her head. "Doesn't seem to be any damage. She'll have one helluva headache when she comes too though. Swelling is already settling in. Do you always have to resort to punching?" Simon didn't seem to aim the question to anyone in particular. Most of the crew seemed to have a likin' to punch first, ask questions later.

In Zoë's defence, River whispered, "But Simon, its Saffron," as if that provided good enough reason.

Mal smiled smugly. "Smart sister you have there Doc. Finally see'n some of that intelligence you mouth off about so often."

Simon rolled his eyes. "Mal, will you help me get her to the infirmary?"

Mal backed up. "I 'aint touching that snake."

"She's unconscious Mal," Book added with exasperation.

"You never know. Darned hellion might have some poison on her clothes or somethin'. I 'aint talking any chances."

Jayne rushed forward, "I'll do it!"

Kaylee gasped and mockingly placed a hand over her heart, "Jayne, chivalry?"

Zoë glanced her way and muttered matter-of-factly, "anything to cop a feel."

"I heard that!" Jayne said as he swept by, a limp Saffron in his arms. At Zoë's raised eyebrow, he added, "and it's been months since I felt a willing woman's flesh against my flesh."

Simon winced, "She isn't willing! She's unconscious. And does anyone else find that mental picture remotely as disturbing as I do?"

Kaylee patted his back soothingly and both followed Jayne to the infirmary.

With Saffron laid out on the examining table and the crew gathered around, Simon took a moment from his ministrations and stared at everyone. "This is me, needing space to work here..."

Mal was rooted to the spot, "I 'aint leaving till the Bei Bi Shiou Ren comes too long enough for me to knock her out again," at Simon's look of distress, added, "and find out what she's doing here of course."

River peeked over Mal's shoulder and glanced at the unconscious Saffron, "Up to no good she is, no good at all."

"Damn, all these pearls of wisdom. What did your sister have for breakfast this mornin'?" Mal asked.

Simon sent a pleading look Kaylee's way.

She instinctively knew what he meant, "Come along River. Let's see if we can get some more of whatever you had this morning. Must'v been the really old protein blocks."

"I think I'll join you Kaylee," Book added and followed. "The amount of ammunition trained on that unconscious girl makes me a trifle uneasy." He stressed the last word and glared meaningfully at Mal before following the girls out of the room.

"Jayne, Zoë, check if there's anything worth salvaging off that hunk of junk Saffron was on. And be quick about it. Jayne's right. Alliance is patrolling this area. Don't 'wanna be caught with our pants down." Both nodded and turned to leave. "Wash, soon as they're done, see to getting' us 'outta here."

Wash saluted, "Aye aye Cap'n!" and followed his wife out.

Alone in the room with Simon and the patient, Simon asked, "and you are doing what exactly?"

Mal smiled, "waiting for my – ex - bride to come too of course!"

"With heavy artillery?"

"Such fancy words Doc. If it means the same as armed and at the ready, I guess I'll agree to that. But let me remind you, last time we met – as I recall you all mentionin' in great detail not a moment ago – I was NAKED after a run in with this piece of go se. So forgive me for being a might crotchety!"

Simon raised his hands in a sign of peace and went to seeing to his patient. Life aboard Serenity just became all kinds of interesting. And amongst the list of things they needed, that was not one of them!

It was actually more than an hour before Saffron stirred. At that point, Jayne and Zoë had managed to salvage some food supplies and a few coils of wire from the ship's engine room, and Serenity was flying safely far from the scene of the wreck. There was nothing onboard that gave any clues as to where the ship came from, or who it had originally belonged to.

Mal, who was sitting in the corner of the infirmary cleaning his pistol, looked up when he heard a moan. Placing the pistol out of arms reach, he walked towards the bed and said, "rise and shine sleepin' beauty."

Mal paused a second and contemplated before saying, "now, I wouldn't exactly say beauty was the right word to be usin'. Perhaps sleeping snake or-"

Saffron lifted her head gingerly and winced as pain rushed to her head. "Oh shut up you blabbering idiot."

Mal touched his heart and grinned, "Now is that any way to be speakin' to the man who so graciously rescued your thiev'n behind?"

Saffron tried to sit up, "graciously my ass-"

Mal quickly added, "yes, you're right. Not gracious at all." Quickly moved to annoyance, and in fact in no mood to be trading insults, Mal asked, "what are you doing here?"

"You just said you rescued me, meaning you brought me on board this piece of crap you call a ship. My, my honey. Must be the old age settling in."

Mal pushed Saffron back onto the bed, jarring her head. As she forcefully hit the pillows, she moaned as her head shuddered. Mal felt a twinge - a very small twinge - of sympathy. Pushing his face right up against hers, and staring directly into her eyes, he said, "Listen up you Fang Pi, I 'aint in no mood to be playing word games with the likes of you. We found you stranded out in the middle of what I consider to be my part of this here 'verse, and let me tell you, this 'aint no happy reunion. So you better start talking or I'll have no cause not to throw you out the airlock of this," he paused for a second before continuing, "piece of crap."

Saffron pushed at his arm to get him out of her face. He was angry. And she knew better than to play with fire. Sulkily, she began, "I was on a job ok. Things went south when-"

Mal interjected, "Your new husband?"

Saffron gave him a withering look but continued grudgingly, "Yes, my husband, learned I was more interested in his rare collection of jewels than playing the good wife and rolling over to Gun Ta Jwo Lu. Some of those jewels date back to earth-that-was, and I don't need to be telling you what they might be worth. One night he found me trying to open the safe-"

Mal grinned and added, "must be slippin' Saffron dear. He caught you?"

Ignoring the condescending pleasure in his tone, she continued, "-and locked me in one of the rooms till the damned Nien Mohn could get there and arrest me. I managed to seduce the guard sent to watch me-"

"Oh, shocker there," Mal added dryly.

"-and made off with the shuttle you found me on. Damned thing got me this far and refused to go any further. Fuel most likely."

Shifting gears and trying another approach, Saffron ran her hand up Mal's chest. "Lucky for me, you happened to be around to save me." She said the last bit with a flirtatious lilt and fluttering eyelashes.

Mal tskd. "See now, this here's a recipe for unpleasantness." Mal knocked her hand off his chest. "Now, what strikes me at this here moment, is that had I not had my life, and the life of my crew banged-up by you – oh twice – I might be of a mind to fall for your little performance. But see'n as I'm wiser - save the act, not buying. I'm not interested in your wares. However, you can tell me whether you managed to get away with any of those jewels."

Saffron reverted back to being her old tetchy self, "So sorry, no Mal!" she added with liberal amounts of sarcasm. "I was after all trying to escape with my life in tact!"

"More's the pity," Mal said as he turned to leave.

Saffron made a move to get up and immediately sank back into the pillows when the left side of her head exploded with pain. "Where are you going?"

Mal didn't look back but picked up his pistol and headed for the exit, "To order Wash to get us to the nearest - preferably uninhabited rock - where I can dump you and fly off into the sunset. Hopefully thereafter never to lay eyes on you again. Had you had the jewels, you handin' them over to me might have endeared you to me somewhat. Seein' as you don't have any, there really 'aint no use for you now is there?"

Saffron squealed, "You can't do that!"

Mal turned, "Now it just occurs to me that the sound that just came out of your throat sounded oddly like a pig's squealin'. Can it be you're finally revealin' your true nature?"

"Mal please. The next port. I'll get off and you wont see me again. I promise."

"See'n as the only way you can be guaranteein' I won't be see'n the likes of you again would be if you were six feet under, I delight in informin' you that my answer is," Mal turned and shot her a sardonic smile, "No."

"Mal please!"

Standing at the door, he said, "Stop the beggin' Saffron, its mighty unbecoming, and really not doing anything to improve my black mood, something that I have been battlin' with for a while now. So let me make myself clear. You will be off this boat as soon as we reach the next world. If there is air to breathe, you will be left there – and consider it a kindness that I'm taking your being able to breathe into consideration. Dohn luh mah?"

Saffron sulked but knew there was nothing else that could be said. She watched as Mal left the infirmary – but not before tightly securing the bolt from the outside.

"Pi Gu!" she shouted at him and huffed her frustration.

Glossery:

Bei Bi Shiou Ren: Pathetic wretch

Go se: Crap, shit

Fang Pi: Asshole

Gun Ta Jwo Lu: Screw him

Nien Mohn: Alliance

Dohn luh mah?: Are we clear here?

Pi Gu: Ass