Yea, okay, last chapter wasn't much of a funny one... but this one is. so enjoy! Please review. it makes me really happy and I write more!

"MOM? DAD?" I yelled as I entered the house. Hmm.. I guess no ones home. I walk into the living room where I hear the T.V. on.

"Oh, hey, Emmett... Where is everybody?"

"Out." He gave me one of those looks that meant I'm supposed to zip it.

"Okay, well I'm going over to pick up Jacob, then I'll be back by... whenever."

"Okay, oh and before you go to Jake's, could you deliver something to somebody for me. She was an old friend of mine. It has nothing to do with my job, just personal. Would that be okay?"

"Sure I guess. What is it?"

"Oh... umm... it's... uh... it's a book." He picked up a book from beside him.

"Emmett... that's mine."

"Oh, it sure is. Damn, I guess I forgot it. Well could you still go over there and tell her that I meant to bring it to her..."

"Ugh, fine."

"Thanks bro."

So I pull up to the address Emmett gave me. It was his old apartment complex he used to live in before he decided that home was where the heart is. What can I say, for a tough mobster guy he can get really lonely.

But I looked at the address. It was the exact same as his old apartment.

I didn't want to think to much about it. Feeling a little awkward, I knocked on the door. A female voice inside said to come in.

I opened the door and a red hot female was standing in the living room. Her sandy-blonde hair waved gently to her mid-back. Her eyes were a startling blue. The red lipstick she wore matched her sweeter top, which was an inch shy of meeting the top of her skinny jeans.

"Whoa." I couldn't help but blurt out. Yea, I know. Jerk, testosterone ,Y-chromozone fiend. But if some guys I know were in my place their lips would already be devouring ever inch of her body.

"Hello." She smiled coolly. "You must be Edward."

"Yea, hi, and... you are?"

"Tanya. Nice to meet you Edward."

"Yea... um... well... I just... I just came... came here to... to tell," She was walking towards me, her hips were swaying sending my heart beating ninety miles per hour.

"Yes?" Tanya purred.

"IjustcametotellyouthatEmmettforgotthebook." I let out in a gush.

She pulled up short. "What book." She paused for a little while. ''Ohhhh. Well, forget about the book, I'm not interested in that anymore." Her hands combed through my hair. "Hmm... you look tense, let me message that out."

All I could do was nod.

Wow that felt good. I took a deep breath to clear my head. And that's when it hit me. I had forgotten about Bella. Sudden guilt flooded into me. This was wrong. I don't even know this girl.

I turned to her to tell her that I had to go and that it was nice meeting her. But what I saw made my jaw drop.

She had pulled her shirt off. Tanya smiled at me. "It was getting kind of hot in here." She justified her actions.

Her bare skin made my eye stay glued to her. I couldn't even move. It was like she had me under some sort of spell.

She came near me again, and I moved as far back from the seat as I could. Crouching down to my level her hands started gliding up my thighs.

I think at this point everything just shut down. I wasn't even thinking, moving, hearing, and possibly even breathing.

Finding their targeting and griping on, her hands pulled up on my shirt.

I was brain dead for about two seconds when everything started crashing back to me and I rebooted.

I jumped out of my chair and flew to the other side of the room. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU"RE DOING!!" I yelled in surprise, my normal mannerly self thrown out the window.

"Silly Edward." She purred, looking shocked herself. "Tonight I am all yours."

I didn't even want to think what that meant. But too late.

"I think there is a misunderstanding..." I breathed. An image of me and her flew through my head.

"I don't think there is any error at all." She smiled at me as she advanced once again. Looking at my face she laughed a little. "This is your first time isn't it?" I nodded like a hungry lost child. "It's okay, I'll be easy on you." She smirked.

I nodded again then realization hit me... again and that nod turned into a shake. "No." I stated. My voice almost fully recovered. "I can't." I wanted my first time to mean something, not some one night stand with someone I'd never see again. I wanted it to be special. And after knowing Bella and hearing her sing, no one else would satisfy me. I just had to remember her.

Tanya looked pissed off.

"Sorry, but I don't want it to happen like this." I grabbed my jacket and left. Not even looking back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You're an idiot Edward!" Jacob cried out as I drove back to the arena. "You could have had some of the best sex out there and you denied it? Edward! Come on!! You're horrible at this Edward." He shook his head in disbelief. "She was right there! Right there Edward! Willingly ready to let you nail her and what do you do?" He pulled on a mock voice. "Nah, I don't want it like this.' You idiot!"

"Jacob." I said calmly. He turned to me. "Shut up. You weren't there. It was like she was a predator and I was her prey, it was disturbing."

"Oh, Edward. Do you not realize how hot that is? I'm just geeking out about it! If I was there she wouldn't even have to say a word." He licked his lips.

"You're sick Jacob. I didn't want that to happen that way."

"Well, you are delusional. You are a terrible person to live vicariously through. You're fired Edward."

There was silence the rest of the car ride. I pulled into a parking spot and before Jacob got out he looked at me. "Is there going to be booze at this thing?"

I looked at him seriously. "I think there is a Russian who's name is Boozie."

Jacob sighed. "Close enough."