Chapter 8

Inara Serra lay quietly for a moment - not moving, hardly daring to breathe. She just lay in silence trying to ascertain exactly where she was, and what had happened.

She remembered snippets of things; these memories seemed to come to her immediately. Voices mostly. Pushing that from her mind, she tried to focus. Through the darkness of her subconscious a menacing picture formed. Niska! Yes, he had come to the training house and he had taken her off her world. He had asked Mei-Li to contact the crew of Serenity in order to get Mal to come for her. She had begged for Mei-Li not to. But she had, as Inara ultimately knew she would. And then she remembered the pain. Lots of it.

A whimper escaped her throat involuntarily and she felt someone at her side instantly, "Inara?"

She knew that voice and she would recognise the touch anywhere. Firm and yet gentle at the same time. Whatever part of her body didn't feel numb, immediately seemed to tingle with life at the familiar voice that usually provided an abundance of annoyance, but this time provided only comfort.

"Mal?" Opening her eyes, she shut them immediately as the glare of the overhead lights hit her sensitive pupils. "I can't open my-"

"Shh…" she felt her hair being stroked comfortingly, "just rest. You're onboard Serenity. Everythin's fine."

"Mal?" her voice became urgent, she groped blindly for his hand, "Niska… he wanted you – and he did things – things that I-" her voice caught at the end.

Mal grasped her hand tightly. Her skin was cold and clammy. His gut tightened at the terror in her voice. "Hey, just hush now," he said soothingly. "Niska 'aint here, he don't have me, and he won't be botherin' anyone anytime soon."

Inara tried to open her eyes again, this time slowly, allowing herself time to adjust to her surroundings. Dressed in a plain white gown, she was slightly elevated, lying on her back, soft cousins offering support. She was in the infirmary aboard Serenity. The sterile smell, glaring lights, white-washed walls. It shouldn't have, but the comfort it provided was overwhelmingly familiar and most welcome.

Then she looked at Mal. He couldn't have masked the concern in his eyes even if he tried.

Inara tried to sit up. "Careful there," Mal said and helped her into a sitting position and offering her some water. She marvelled at his thoughtfulness.

"Thank you," she said, "this is a little more dignified than being flat on my back," she added with a short, humourless laugh. Sobering, she looked at their still joined fingers, squeezed his with both of hers and then looked back at him, "thank you for coming for me. You didn't have to. But you did."

Mal tried for a weak smile, "was nothin'. You're an old friend and all. We couldn't leave you at the mercy of that Feng Le Huen Dahn," and shrugged as if it were no big deal.

Inara, not having any other reason for holding onto his hands, let go reluctantly, and slowly moved them up to her face. There were huge bandages covering her forehead and cheeks. Judging by the tight feeling at her waist, her midsection was bandaged as well. She wasn't in much pain, but she expected that was due to the painkillers she was sure Simon had administered.

"What do I look like?" she asked suddenly. "I know he did things to me Mal. I know he-" she swallowed hard, "cut at me a little. How bad is it?"

Mal's face darkened, "Come now 'Nara, don't be worrying about-"

Looking him straight in the eye, she asked again, "how do I look Mal?"

Mal moved to sit on the side of the bed. Talking a deep breath, he said honestly, "you have some scarin'."

Touching the bandages at her cheeks lightly he continued, "It was surface cuts. Nothin' that won't be healin' itself in time. Same goes for your midsection. Cuts on your belly bled somethin' fierce, but it was surface wounds according to the Doc."

Tears gathered in her eyes, and the usually strong Companion battled to keep her emotions in check.

Seeing the shimmer in her eyes, Mal said, "'Nara…"

She shook her head to stop his placating and waited a minute before saying, "it isn't that there will be scars. I know beauty is more than what you see on the outside," Inara gestured to her face. "It's the violation of my body."

She continued, "I remember what it felt like." She looked at him and Mal saw the tears glisten her lashes, "I thought I was going to die. Companions have training Mal. We are taught how to handle ourselves should our clients become unmanageable. But I couldn't block out anything. I couldn't focus on getting past the pain. I saw the grip of madness hover above me so temptingly. And all I could think about was that after me, he would do all of that to all the people I cared about. Kaylee and Simon, sweet River and Jayne, Zoë, Wash and Book," she looked away, "and you."

Guilt had been eating at Mal for two days, consuming him as he held a silent vigil at her bedside. Had it not been for him, Niska would never have gone after her.

"I'm so sorry 'Nara," he said and backed away from the bed. Looking at her made it worse. He had never seen Inara without all that paint she usually wore. Her armour he supposed. And without it, she looked younger, vulnerable and so achingly beautiful. Nothing highlighed anything because her beauty spoke for itself. Milky skin, paler than usual at the moment, her dark hair hanging in silky waves, and pink lips. And with the white bandages on her ashen skin, he felt ill at what might have happened to her.

"Mal?" she asked confused.

He had his back to her as he said, "I don't promise much to my crew – you know that better'n anyone. Hard work and tough times, but always protection. I protect me and mine. And you were once a part of this crew. And I couldn't protect you."

She saw his shoulders stoop, "Mal," she began.

"He came after you cos he wanted a way of gettin' to me. He had no business lookin' to you as a way of comin' at me-"

"Its not your fault Mal. Niska is not a man to be reasoned with. He was pure evil and you know he would do anything to anyone – deserving or not – to get what he wanted. If it wasn't me, it would have been anyone who you ever had any contact with."

"Mal?" Inara reached out towards him and winced. "I can't be chasing after you like I used to when you were being pigheaded Captain," she smiled. "I'm a little tied up at the moment. Would you come here please?"

Mal turned to look at her and hesitated before approaching the bed once more. Inara held out her hand.

Mal made a move to take her hand again, but was interrupted by, "Princess! You're awake. Mal Dear, isn't it wonderful?" a droll voice commented.

Inara looked past Mal and saw Saffron enter the room, "Saffron," she said hesitatingly, looking from Mal to Saffron and back again, "I see I didn't dream you after all." Inara's hand fell limply to her lap.

"That's the thanks I get?" the other woman said, walking to Mal and resting her hand on his arm.

Inara saw the gesture and said slowly, "Not at all. I thank you – sincerely," she said with meaning. "I'm still a little fuzzy on the details, but I remember what you did for me. We might not have had the best understanding in the past, but I'm grateful."

Saffron smiled graciously, and then said, "Oh, don't mention it. It was all for my Mal here."

Mal turned to look at Saffron annoyed, "Saffron-"

She saw his look but continued anyway, "Not to worry Inara, we're heading to Persephone, and by the time we reach her, I'm sure you'll be ready to take up your old life again. Not too far from your world and all sorts of transportation available there I hear."

Inara looked at Mal for some sort of explanation, but he was still looking at Saffron, and as she couldn't see his expression just said, "Yes," slowly, "Persephone seems like the perfect place to make my way back home," she trailed off.

Mal looked at Inara then and his jaw tightened.

Saffron looked from one to the other and decided that the journey to Persephone wasn't going to be so dull after all. Captain Tight pants here obviously had the hots for Princess Uptight and visa versa. And looks like they weren't anywhere closer to seein' that. No reason why she couldn't have fun with that knowledge.

"Right," he said. "Inara will be needin' some rest," he said to Saffron, "and I have Captainly things to be attendin' to."

Not really looking at Inara, he said, "'Nara," and bowed slightly before turning and leaving. "I will ask the Doc to look in on you," he said, "and the rest will want to see you as well I presume," as he made his way to the exit.

Inara looked at Saffron who still stood at her bedside but didn't know what to say to the woman who seemed so comfortable in the space that was once her home. It seemed like a lot had changed in the months she had been away.

"Gotta go too. Dinner to cook for the husband all that." Saffron said coyly.

A sort of panic settled in Inara's stomach and she couldn't stop herself, "Saffron?" The other woman turned, one brow arched enquiringly. "Are you and Mal-?"

Saffron never had the opportunity to answer. Kaylee, Simon, Zoë, Jayne, Book and River came barging in.

"Inara!" said Kaylee, rushing to her friend's side. "You're ok! I was so worried. Tell her Simon. Tell her how worried I was."

Simon touched Kaylee's shoulder before looking at Inara kindly and saying, "We were all really worried."

Inara glanced helplessly at Saffron as the other woman simply shrugged off the question and left. Were they involved again? But surely Mal knew what she was! Once a con artist always a con artist right?

Putting it from her mind, Inara tried to focus on her friends, their concerns and their kindness. The bleeding from her injuries might have stopped, but the bleeding in her heart was still oozing. It had been since the day she walked out of the hanger bay of Serenity.

Glossary:

Feng Le Huen Dahn: Crazy Bastard