A/N: Don't do it Barb! Don't read this old junk. Go find one of my newer things. I've got lots of angst elsewhere that is far less humiliating. This was written when I was a kid! You know, the whole emo/angsty teen stuff.

Chapter Five

Sai quickly discovered that first night that Hali was an excellent cook. Though he knew a great deal about all kinds of foods and cooking, she seemed to know a lot more about stuff even he had never heard of. Between the two of them, they had produced a feast out of just what they had in the house. Both Sai and Hali blushed profusely in the midst of all the praise.

"It was nothing," they said in unison to the others, drawing chuckles all the way around.

"Actually, Hali did most of the cooking," Sai told them.

Staring at her plate, Hali let her frosty hair fall over her face to hide her red cheeks. "I just thought you guys might like something different. I haven't cooked in a long time and thought I'd see if I was a little rusty."

"Not in the least," Sage raved as the others nodded in agreement.

"Well, we've got the room almost ready," Ryo said smiling warmly. "I hope you like it. You can go check it out as soon as we're done."

"Thanks," Hali replied, returning the smile.

"We just hope you can put up with Kento's snoring," Rowen commented. "He's in the room right next to you."

"As if it would even bother you, Mr. Sleeping Dead," Kento shot back with a scowl amid all the laughter.

Hiding a grin, Hali nodded. "That's quite alright. It's more than I could have hoped for."

"You're too kind," Sage commented dryly. "Just remember that was my room you stole."

"Wishing you could share it now?" Hali asked with a wicked gleam in her eyes as the guys burst into laughter.

Blushing furiously, Sage said nothing as they all finished their food. While Kento and Sai started the dishes, the other three took Hali to her new room. Though fairly plane, Hali was more than grateful for the space. Seeing she was pleased they started to show her around the rest of the house. As they passed Rowen's room, Hali couldn't help but take a quick look at Rowen's enormous, overloaded bookshelf.

"Wow. Quite a library you've got here," she commented randomly picking up a book a quantum physics book by Hawking.

"You can see where his life is spent," Ryo told her teasingly.

Still flipping on through the pages, Hali glanced to Rowen saying, "Hawking is good, but I preferred some of Penrose's theories a little more. His were a little more informative to me."

"You know quantum physics?" Rowen asked dumbfounded.

"Well, yeah. I used to sit around with my friends discussing various theories and stuff. I like a lot of stuff like that," she said kind of shyly. Seeing a familiar game sitting on a table nearby, she changed the subject. "You play Go?"

"Yeah. I love it. But I can't seem to convince anyone else to play," Rowen said with a meaningful look at the guys. "They think it's boring."

With a wicked grin, Hali asked, "Care to go a round?"

For a moment Rowen stood uncertainly. "You play?"

Shrugging Hali said, "Whenever I can find someone to play; which isn't exactly every millennium."

"That's an understatement," Rowen agreed moving over to the table as Hali took a seat.

Seeing the two of them engrossed in beginning a game, Ryo and Sage decided to let them have at it.

Rowen and Hali played and talked late into the night neither one gaining the upper hand in the game. The two of them were totally engrossed in their varying conversations that covered everything from quantum physics to the dynamics of nuclear reactions and everything in between. Most people anywhere near their age would have thought the two had come from another world altogether. Thankfully the others had left them alone to their discussions. But it was well after three in the morning before they finally retired for the night, leaving the rest of the game for another day.

Within minutes both were sound asleep in their beds. For the first time in years, Hali found herself feeling a sort of peace. As the darkness of sleep closed in, Hali let herself drift off blissfully. At last she felt as though she had found friends. Maybe even real friends. For the first time, Hali didn't care how long or short it lasted. She would enjoy it to its fullest while she had it and think of nothing else.

Only a couple of hours later Hali awoke from her light sleep to the sound of a sharp but short cry from one of the nearby bedrooms. Instinctively she got out of bed and silently headed down the hall. Hearing the sounds of movement and a soft voice in Ryo's room, she knocked on the door gently. A moment later the door opened to reveal a robed Ryo looking at her curiously.

"I thought I heard something. I-I just thought I'd see if you were okay," Hali stammered.

Sighing heavily, Ryo motioned her into his room. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just have a lot of nightmares, that's all."

Hali took a seat in a nearby chair while Ryo sank heavily onto his bed. Patting White Blaze absently on the head, he watched as the huge tiger moved over to Hali.

"What about?" Hali asked, curiously.

"A lot of stuff. I've always had nightmares. You get used to it after a while."

"You mean being woken up in the night or the dreams?" she asked, eyeing him closely.

For several seconds Ryo eyed her equally sensing she had meant more by that then she was letting on. Finally he said, "Both, I guess."

"Yeah, it gets old after a while, doesn't it?" Hali told him, her eyes focused solely on tiger as she rubbed his head softly.

"You have nightmares too?" Ryo asked in surprise.

Slowly, Hali nodded meeting his eyes once more. "There are some things that you can't hide from yourself and they always show up in your nightmares."

"Yeah," Ryo agreed, looking away from those hypnotic multicolored eyes.

"Sometimes the nightmares are so real you feel as though you're reliving it all over again. And you're always looking for a way to change it. You always think that there must have been some way to change what happened."

Now Ryo met her eyes fully unable to conceal his shock. Never had he met someone that could understand what it was like. He almost couldn't believe she now did. Yet, there was no denying the guilt or understanding that lay within her eyes. Slowly he nodded, never moving his eyes from her.

"Over and over again you see it and keep wondering what it was you missed that could have made everything right," she told him. Sighing heavily, she stood and gazed out the window. "But sometimes there isn't anything you can do," she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself to keep from shivering at the memories.

"But…." Ryo just couldn't think of what to say.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "There's nothing you could do, Ryo. I don't know what it is that haunts you in the night, but I'm sure there was nothing you could do to change it. Not then and not now."

"That's—that's not true," he stammered, unable to face her.

"Maybe," she replied softly. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she took his hands in hers and faced him squarely. "I see it in you even now. You hold a lot of guilt for things that weren't even in your control. One day you'll learn to accept that, but the nightmares will always be there. Ryo, the nightmares are there to remind you of what was, not what is. Whatever happened is in the past."

"I know," Ryo said, hanging his head. "But it doesn't make it any better."

"Yes it does," she told him firmly, forcing him to meet her eyes. "Think about it, Ryo. What are the nightmares telling you?"

"I…I don't know," he finally said after several seconds of thought.

"The nightmares are there to tell you that there are things you can do to change what is here and now. Why dwell on the past when you can use that time and energy to do so much more with your life now?"

Slowly Ryo nodded, feeling somewhat better.

"Don't push away the nightmares, Ryo," she said softly, but intently. "You'll only forget what it was that fear taught you. Hold on to them and understand that they are there to help you in the future. As bad as it sounds, those nightmares are a part of what make you who you are. They give you strength."

Ryo stared out the window distantly for some time in total silence. Hali let him do so, contented with the fact that at least he had heard and understood what she had said. The two sat in peaceful silence as they withdrew to their own thoughts.

"What you said makes a lot of sense," Ryo finally said softly, breaking the silence. "For the first time the nightmares actually don't seem so bad."

"That's good. Just take it one thing at a time. Who knows? Maybe one day the nightmares will become dreams," she said wistfully.

"What about you?" Ryo asked gently. "Why do they bother you so much?"

Smiling sadly Hali rose to leave. "Some things were never meant to be dealt with so easily. You should get back to sleep. I'll quit bothering you now."

Ryo watched Hali leave at last feeling a sense of understanding and peace. Never had he met anyone that could give him such a sense of peace. Until now he had never met anyone that had understood his nightmares. Yet, he couldn't help but admire her. She seemed no older than himself, but she had obviously been through a lot. The sense of peace she carried with her was awing in the face of so much. There was much to be learned about her. But for the time being, he was glad just to know someone so understanding.