Chapter Fifteen

After taking a shower in record time, Sage all but ran back to his room being careful not to wake the others he knew to be asleep. Though he half expected to find Hali waiting for him, he was relieved to find his room empty. Shielding himself from anyone that could sense his thoughts or feelings at present, he carefully slipped the notebook out from beneath his mattress. Turning on his bedside lamp, he sat cross-legged at the head of his bed.

Ever so carefully, he opened the cover of the notebook once more. As expected, most of the pages were soaked through and greatly weather damaged. All the clippings and scraps of paper stored in the pockets were beyond being readable. Not daring to move them, he just left them where they were. Slowly he took some of the topmost sheets of paper that were on the rings and flipped them over. To his total amazement, he found some of these still readable in bits and pieces, though greatly smeared with running ink from other pages. Squinting, he examined each of these barely readable sheets closely, but still not learning much.

"…in Mexico now. Some strange oc…"

"…and left it to the rest of the Guild for safe…"

"…I fear my suspicions may very well be proved right. Two months now and still…"

"…on Bourbon St. She hasn't changed a bit. I miss them, sometimes. But what is done is…"

"…so beautiful this time of year. But it will be cold soon and I need to be moving south. I just wish I had at least something of…"

Separating each of the soggy, moldy pages was a painstaking process that made reading next to impossible. Not that it seemed to matter anyway. He was learning nothing of use. At this point he was beginning to think that this was beyond just being pointless, but downright stupid. Besides, what could any of this do for him? It was probably just left by some homeless woman with nothing better to do.

Rubbing his eyes tiredly, Sage considered giving up and turning in. Yawning widely and resting his head on the wall behind him, he rested for just a moment debating on what to do next. Just when he was about to close the notebook and stuff it in the nearest trash can, his door started to open ever so quietly. Seeing this out of the corner of his eye, he quickly pulled a pillow over his lap to cover the notebook even as he opened his latest book on Zen philosophy.

Watching out of the corner of his eye as Rowen stealthily crept in the door and closing it just as silently as he had entered. Seeing it was only Rowen, Sage heaved a sight of relief as he put his book aside and turned to his friend.

"I was beginning to wonder if you had fallen asleep," Sage, whispered softly.

Shaking his head in response, Rowen silently took a seat on the bed in front of Sage. "So what's up?"

Frowning slightly, Sage shook his head slowly. "I don't know. I've just had some really weird feelings and even visions of Hali today."

"Like what?" Rowen asked, curious.

"I can't remember what I saw, but I vaguely remember seeing something really bizarre that involved her." Here Sage paused wondering just how much to tell his friend. Deciding that there was really only one way to go, he brought his eyes up to meet Rowen's evenly. "I don't trust her, Rowen. I can't put my finger on it, but there's just something not right about her. She's not what we think she is. She's…powerful," he said with an involuntary shudder.

"What do you mean she's powerful? In what way?" Rowen asked, unable to disregard the intensity behind his friend's words, or concerns.

Hesitantly Sage went on slowly. "I don't know for sure what it is I feel in her. I know she's extremely psychic—way more than I am, actually. But that's not all. Remember when she and Kento went at it the other day? Did you notice that Kento was putting everything into it, including Hardrock's added speed and strength, and Hali didn't even break a sweat? And I still have the feeling that wasn't the full extent of her ability!"

Eyes darkening in seriousness at understanding the gravity of the situation, Rowen considered all of this with a frown and deeply furrowed brows. "Do you think she may possess another armor? Maybe one none of us knew about?"

Shaking his head Sage said, "No. It's not like that. I can feel something different. Whatever this power is, it's all her own. I never thought much of it before. But, something's very wrong here."

"In what way?" Rowen asked.

"That's just it. I don't know. But every time I so much as think of her, my instincts go crazy. I feel like she's dangerous…like she's betrayed me somehow," he said in a distant voice as if struggling to grasp a thought that was ruthlessly taunting, yet evading, him.

"What's that?" Rowen asked, seeing a corner of the notebook sticking out from beneath the pillow in his friend's lap.

"Huh? Oh, I sort of found this out in the woods earlier," he said, setting the pillow to the side. "It looks like some kind of a journal or diary. So far I haven't been able to get anything useful out of it, but I'm still working on it."

"How exactly did you find it?"

Grinning slightly at the thought of just how little he was able to get past Rowen, Sage went on to tell about how he found it and where. All the while Rowen listened in silence taking all of it in with an unreadable expression. Only when Sage was finished did he speak.

"Do you think it has anything to do with what you're feeling or seeing about Hali?" he asked, curiously.

"I don't know. I just know that what happened was more than a little unusual. I feel like I was lead there for a reason. This might be the reason, if any. So I'm going to go ahead and read whatever I can from it."

"Let me help you. Maybe together we can find something useful," Rowen volunteered.

Taking great pains not to smudge or tear the papers more than they already were, Sage removed a small stack of them from the rings. Handing them to Rowen, he went back to his own reading, now more than one hundred pages into it. To his surprise, these pages here in the middle were not nearly so damaged. Yet all the dates, times, and even signatures were still soggy and smudged.

Entry 113

I found myself unable to resist the curiosity that has been

eating away at me for months now. Though I first awoke in New

Orleans, I decided not to even try to return home. I could just as

easily sense that the others weren't there anyway. Since I was so

close, I decided to stop in and see some of my old haunts. I knew

full well that no one would be able to recognize me as I am now,

so I wasn't overly concerned.

Of all the things I had thought to find, never had I

expected this. Though I didn't encounter many people I had once

known, it didn't take long for me to find out. Even now I find

myself filled with tears and laughter at the very thought of it. At

this point I'm not sure which one will win out. Probably laughter.

It seems that in the months since the Guardians made

their last stand, we have all been declared either dead or missing.

Archangel, Stoner, Mysteriarch, Vampyre, and myself…

Entry 114

I've decided to continue my search elsewhere. Though

I managed to get in touch with a couple of the Watchers, I have

still found nothing useful. With no leads to go on, I've decided

to search the West Coast.

For all the searching I've already done, I cannot help

but feel as though I have missed something that might help me.

The Watchers have no worthwhile leads, save for Europe. But

I don't believe there is any point in going so far. Even if any of

the Guardians survived, they would be returning to their home.

And, considering my present state, it is left to assumption that

they were not reborn either.

Perhaps the key lies in my survival. If I could understand

and even bring forth the memories of those last moments,

perhaps I could find out what became of them as well. Maybe

that is what I'm missing or overlooking. Yet I shudder to so

much as touch upon those memories. For many reasons, not

just what became of the Guardians.

Even for the few, scant visions I have of that last instant

before darkness I find myself all but overwhelmed by the power

that was held there. Not just the power of the combined

Guardians. I still feel as though there was something more.

Something so vast and…

Unfortunately the next several pages were entirely unreadable because the edges had long ago been meshed together making them inseparable. Using this opportunity as an excuse for a quick break. Sage glanced over to his friend who was squinting intently at the sheets he still held.

"Found anything? A name? A date? Anything?" Sage asked hopefully.

Setting the sheets in his lap, Rowen shook his head as he sighed. "No, but I do know that they was searching for someone. Several people, it would seem, though I can't make out anything specific. They obviously covered some ground. Hitchhiking it would seem like. From Mexico to Canada and quite a bit in between."

Nodding slowly, Sage took this in. "Yeah, but did you notice how this person was searching?"

"What do you mean, besides it seeming totally random?"

"Here in Entry One-fourteen it says they could sense whomever they're looking for from as far away as New Orleans. And, unless I miss my guess, they're considering the Southern region of the US as a whole."

At this statement Rowen's eyebrows shot up almost into his hairline. "Sense? That's not entirely unlikely. But an area that big?"

"I know. Do you realize just how psychically gifted this person would have to be? I mean, I can sense you guys from several miles off, but we're talking about hundreds of miles here."

Slowly Rowen nodded. "It would make sense that this person could sense things so far off if you notice the wide-spread travel patters. It's not even as if they stopped for any length of time anywhere, save to build up money."

"That, and they mentioned something about Guardians. It hints toward them possessing some kind of power or great purpose, but it doesn't say what," Rowen added several seconds later.

"I know. The same here. In fact, there seems to have been…five, including the writer. Mysteriarch, Vampyre, Donovan, and Stoner."

"Nicknames?" Rowen mused.

"Or something more specific about them," Sage added.

"Maybe."

Letting it go at this, Sage and Rowen returned to their reading. Handing Rowen a few more sheets, Sage went on beginning again somewhere near the end of the journal/diary entries, though there were many miscellaneous notes, sketches, and maps further on.

Entry 161

The weather has gotten noticeably colder in recent days.

I find myself wondering aimlessly these days not sure where to

pick up again. I've considered going to Europe and Asia. But

now is not the time. I need a place to stay, but I know I can't

afford a place right now. Besides, I think I would very much

prefer the peace and quiet of a more natural lifestyle. I'm

considering just setting-up a camp several miles out in the woods

somewhere.

It might be rough, but it's nothing I haven't done before.

Besides, I've still got a few weeks before the first snowfall. If

I'm lucky I can have a shelter built before then. In the meantime

I can erect a makeshift tent with the materials I already have. I

don't think it would be so bad.

Aside from that, I can resume my search in spring when

the snow melts. Though not many people could possibly

recognize me as I am now, I know my appearance has caused

quite a stir in certain areas. As well as some of the things I've

done. I know the Watchers have finally identified me for who I

really am. But that is of no real concern. At the moment we are

all at peace. The destruction they had expected from the

Guardians so many months ago has yet to come and they have

begun to…

Finding more unreadable entries, Sage didn't even bother to scan them. Setting them aside, he moved on to pull out an almost perfect sheet of paper by comparison to the rest. Though the two entries that were on the front and back of it were considerably shorter than most of the others, Sage found himself tingling with excitement as he red them with a pounding heart. Pressing the sheet onto the notebook to still his trembling hands, he read with wide eyes as he felt the color drain from his face.

Entry 168

I would say Happy Halloween, but why bother?

There's no one to share my bitter tears that I can no longer

shed to relieve myself of the misery in which I live. I am

consumed in the darkness of days gone by. So many things

happened on this day so long ago. Yes, it seems like an

eternity since I last walked the paths of the cemetery with

my beloved Raven. It seems aeons since I was last able to

hold my one and only friend, Redeemer.

I look back upon my life, all my lives, and cannot help

but laugh bitterly at the irony of it all. All I ever wanted was

to be free. Yes, I am free of the Guardians and what I was once

obligated to do. But now I am a slave to my own powers. My

powers are what condemn me to remember day after day the

miseries I lived in the name of the Guardians. They condemn me

to remember hundreds of thousands of lifetimes and more. They

are what have alienated me entirely from society as a whole.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I've all but given

up hope on everything. All I can think of is how much I want to

die. But I have never been a quitter. What is it that gives me life

now? What is this thing that refuses to let me rest in eternal

peace? Even if it meant eternal, unending darkness, I would

welcome it before this any longer.

I do not know how much longer this will go on or what

will become of me in the days and weeks to come. All I know

is what I am now. A wretched, abused thing of power that

inspires only fear. If something doesn't change soon, I don't

think I will be around much longer. How nice it would be to

rest once again. This time forever…

Hachiliah

Entry 169

It is now early November. I've wandered the whole of

this continent in search of the others and found nothing.

Donovan, Raven, Redeemer, Kevyn….I still see their faces

and hear their voices. It's all so clear to me now. All the

memories of those years still possess a power unlike anything

I have ever known before. Whereas all my other memories of

past lives feel two dimensional, these have a life all their own.

They are me.

I've traveled all of Mexico, United States, and Canada

in search of even the faintest traces of their spirits. Nothing

remains of what were once the Guardians. I am all that's left.

Though part of me still wants to continue my search, I know

in my heart that they are all gone. Once again I have outlived

all that I love. I am cursed to this life it seems.

All I wanted was my freedom. I wanted a normal life.

The chance was given to me, but I can still never have it. In

my travels of these past six months I have come to understand

that I can never have a peaceful and normal life. People cannot

accept me for what I am, what I have become. They fear me

or call me evil. Some just think of me as a freak. I cannot

deny what I am. I have powers unlike anything the mortal

world has ever seen.

That is another thing I have discovered in recent

months. All the power I had before is still with me. But, this

time, I lack the guidance or the consciousness of my

Guardians or other parts. Now all the power is mine and no

one to share it with. I laugh at the thought, but it is a laugh

without mirth. Never had I thought I'd end up so bitterly alone.

There is no purpose to my wasted existence. I try so hard to

live a mortal life only to find that people cannot accept that

I am different.

So very different…

Already Sage had read the signature once. He didn't need to do so a second time. He knew who it was now. Though it confirmed many of his curiosities about Hali, it also hurt bitterly. Unlike his friend in the next bed, Sage could feel every bit of the powerful, heart-wrenching emotions she had unleashed in these last two entries. Though he did not know exactly what had become of her immediately after writing this last one, he knew now how she had ended up in the river…and why.

Blinking back the sting of tears, Sage closed his eyes against the pain in his heart. Though what he had read had hurt him deeply, he still had to focus on the purpose for having done this. Yes, he had learned that Hali was far more than she appeared, though not exactly what. Still, it gave him no concrete clues beyond what little information he could glean about Guardians and Watchers.

"What is it? What did you find?" Rowen repeated for the seventh or eighth time as he reached over to shake his friend.

Unable to speak or even sort out his scattered thoughts, Sage handed over the sheet of paper that contained Hali's last two entries. With a dubious, yet inquiring look to his friend, Rowen quickly read both of the last two entries. After seeing the signature at the end of the first, his eyes widened as he read the second in shock. Pale faced as his friend, Rowen could only stare in disbelief at Sage.

"That's how she…"Rowen let his words go unsaid, knowing his friend understood.

Slowly Sage nodded in confirmation. "Now we know she was involved in something, but we still don't know what."

"I'd say it's about time we had a little talk with her," Rowen stated firmly.

Considering it for a moment, Sage slowly shook his head. "I don't think so. I doubt she would tell us anything anyway. In any case, we'd be better to just let it on to the others quietly and keep an eye on her."

"You think she might be somehow involved with something connected with the Dynasty?" Rowen wondered.

"No. Not likely. She seems to have lived a human life here on Earth for the most part, and not just from what we've read in the journal," Sage pointed out. "Besides, she doesn't strike me as evil."

"But she doesn't exactly seem good, either," added Rowen distractedly.

"True. But we have no way of knowing one way or another at the moment."

Just then Rowen released a great yawn. Glancing to the alarm clock on the table, his eyes widened in surprise.

"It's almost five o'clock!" he hissed jumping silently off the bed. "I better get back downstairs before Sai gets up."

"If you get a chance, tell him what we found. But don't let on to Hali, that we know anything. We've got to play normal until we figure out what's going on. We don't know what she'll do if she finds out how much we know."

Sparing just enough time for a quick nod, Rowen slipped out the door as quietly as he had entered hours earlier and was gone. Knowing he couldn't just leave the notebook out in plain sight, Sage quickly gathered all the papers and filed them carefully back into the notebook. Deciding that under his mattress was actually the best place of all, he slipped it back into its earlier spot. Shoving aside all emotions that crept around the edges of his mind and heart, he prepared himself for the battle he knew was to come. A battle of weaknesses beyond anything the immortal realm could ever understand. Because no immortal ever known possessed a heart as powerful—or weak—as that of the mortal humans.

And, in the game of war, there were no victors…