Chapter Sixteen
Jerking awake almost violently, Hali lay silently still in the darkness of her bedroom listening intently for what had awakened her from such a deep and sound sleep. Throughout the night even the darkest, bloodiest of nightmares had failed to wake her from the healing sleep she had put herself into. Holding her breath tensely, she listened only to the pounding of her heart as her eyes adjusted almost instantly in the inky, moonless blackness of her room. Moments later, she heard the stealthy footsteps of one moving about the house. For just an instant she felt herself rising to her feet in expectance of an attack. Yet, as she listened further, the footsteps moved from the hall outside her bedroom and down the stairs. Somewhere down below she heard them cease as she quickly relaxed.
Heaving a deep sigh of relief while grinning at her own unwarranted fears, she lay back upon her pillows for just a moment. Closing her eyes once more, she felt the renewed power running through her body and again thought wistfully of the true power she wielded in her astral form. But for all the rejuvenating powers of the sleep she had just had, there remained a single mar upon all of this. Ever so slightly her chest ached where Sage's sword had sliced her a deadly blow only a day ago. Reaching up, she touched it gently to find that a thick scar had remained, as well as one upon her spirit's form. Whatever power Sage had used when he struck her had been much more than she had originally estimated. Though she was infinitely powerful by comparison to anything in this universe she had encountered thus far, he held a power that was a close rival for her while still trapped within the confines of her body.
Still considering this, she rubbed the thick tissue of the scar that ran from just below her left shoulder to just below the lower, right ribs. Briefly she considered ridding herself of the scar to avoid suspicion or questions, but decided not to. She deserved it…for many reasons. From having underestimated the power of another as well as for the deception she had played upon the only five people in this world that still cared about her. Brushing aside the twinge of pain these thoughts brought her, she thought about the others and what power they might have as well. If they were anything like Sage's, she was in for trouble in the days to come.
Sitting up in her bed, she curled her knees tightly to her chest and buried her head in her arms. Today would be the day she would discuss all of this with her friends. She needed to know if they would be safe in her absence. She needed to know if they would fight with her. She needed to know if she…had the heart to tell them. She needed to tell someone before the darkness consumed her.
Her head buried deeply in her arms, she sighed once more wondering how she could ever tell them. Maybe it would be easier to simply erase their memories as she had Sage's. Then she could just walk away and pray they would never remember her. She could only wish that nothing would ever come after them and only follow her alone. But she knew they would always hold a special place in her heart and soul. No matter what, she would not forget them.
Just then Hali brought her head up chuckling softly. Already she sounded so bitterly human. It would be so easy to just erase their memories and then walk into the woods and kill herself once again. Even though it sounded like a perfectly usable plan, there was only one catch she could not bring herself to overlook. She could so easily take to the immortal form and forget a mortal body forever. But what if she truly had no control and ended up instead being reborn once more?
"Then it would start all over again and been a waste of time," she whispered flatly to the darkness.
Even as she spoke these words, she could faintly hear the stealthy movements of Sage in the next room. Though the footsteps that had wakened her only minutes ago had stopped, Sage was still awake. Once again Hali's mind was brought right back around to many a curious question concerned Sage and the others.
Frowning slightly, Hali shook her head as if to clear her mind. Too many distractions. Too many thoughts. Too many questions. Round and round these things tumbled through her mind in countless dizzying forms. She was circling round and round and getting nowhere with her thoughts or anything else. Shutting off her mind, Hali let go of her legs and relaxed slowly. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, she closed off all her sensed and let her mind and heart drift aimlessly through the sea of her being. Shutting off everything but her most primal instincts, she began to focus herself on nothing beyond herself and the very moment she now lived.
Moving as her body commanded, she began to dress herself in total silence so as not to wake anyone else. Once dressed, she moved with equivalent silence out of her bedroom and down the stairs. As she moved through the living room toward the door, she couldn't help but notice Rowen lying peacefully upon the sofa. Unable to sense what he was feeling or dreaming at the moment, she simply watched the steady rising and falling of his chest beneath the covers with all the wonder of a child seeing for the first time. Still with an empty mind and heart, she felt the curious tugging of something in the back of her thoughts at the sight of this. Something seemed out of place here, but what she couldn't tell. Nor was she about to start thinking about it now.
Tearing her eyes away from the simplistically alluring scene and all its normality, her body began to move silently to the door and out into the icy morning air. Once the door closed behind her, Hali opened her eyes to a scene as though from a postcard—or a fairy tale. A world covered in black and white, the stark colors of Life and Death, Good and Evil. But there was no evil, so the world she now saw was nothing more than a lie. There was no good, either. Not only was all of this before her an illusion, but a truth in and of itself. For the mortals that inhabited this world, everything was black and white. And this world belonged not to her, but them and them alone.
Who was she to say otherwise?
Yet as her vacant, uncomprehending eyes took in the scene before her, she also saw beyond the moment and it's lies and truths. The white world covered in seemingly frozen sleep began to shift and change as another image superimposed itself over the one she now saw. Through each and every tiny vein of every living thing around her Life began to flow once more. From the tiniest, unseen pores of the most insignificant living plant came renewed vitality bringing with it the newborn leaves of a spring in full bloom. Shifting from the coldest, deadliest of winter chills to the height of warmth and rebirth, the world shifted itself in her vision until she beheld a world of beauty and color in its endless cycle of death and rebirth.
This she took in fully with the vacant eye of one who neither understands nor cares. But as the greens of spring faded into the reposes of summer, the Life that flowed from every living thing seemed to pause in its world much as it did in winter. But instead of the sleep that winter brought, this scene paused in waking wonder of the universe around it. For just a heartbeat in time it would hold this pose for all it's human inhabitants to enjoy and take pride in.
But, much like spring in its ever-changing ways, came also the autumn of the cycle of the human world. From the countless shades of green the season of summer brought and held for ever so short a time to the myriad colors of autumn bringing the chilling yawn of the tiring world in need of a rest once more. Little by little the season of summer and the tiring world gave way to the splendor of death that autumn held. For even in a season of death came an eternal beauty only mortals seemed privileged to cherish and take for granted.
Then Hali blinked, and the flowing, changing scenes of seasons and cycles was shattered once again leaving only the empty black and white of the icy winter she seemed to forever live in within herself. But, for her, there was to be no spring or summer or autumn. Only the cold, dead world of winter in her heart and mind. Until someone could come along and free her from her prison of power and destiny, she would forever remain here until it consumed her wholly.
"Perhaps it already has…" she whispered unthinkingly, unfeelingly to the scene before her.
Much as the burden and acceptance of those words, the breath they had been spoken with hung heavily in the air. From somewhere far away in the depths of her heart and soul, Hali felt the tugging sorrow of pity as if from another being within herself. As empty as one already dead, she turned herself from this image and distantly detached thoughts and slowly began to make her way out into the cold morning. Wearing only her thin, cotton clothing, the cold bit sharply into her tender skin chilling it to a painful numbness.
Yet, once again, Hali found herself so withdrawn into her own being that she was beyond the physical discomforts of the human, mortal body. Her feet taking her wherever they had a will to, her numbed, distant mind followed without thought or comprehension. Neither knowing nor caring where she would end up, she simply walked on, paying no heed to the world around her or the tiny steps her bare feet left in the snow. As if treading a path through death in a desperate search for life, she left the countless imprints in the snow for others to follow. Hoping one would overtake her and lead her aimlessly searching footprints in the direction of the peace and tranquility she so desperately sought.
But she was alone. Bitterly alone in all of this—in all of herself. For all her mortality and humanity, she was far above and beyond the reach of any human. And forever would she remain as such. Alone in the light. Alone in the darkness. Alone on the path she was condemned to walk into Destiny…