Chapter Nineteen
Shivering almost too much to be able to walk, Hali could feel the first stages of frostbite settling into the painful numbness of her unprotected hands and feet. Already the skin beneath her thin clothing was covered in a fine sheen frost. Blood flowed from countless cuts and scrapes she couldn't even remember having gotten. Probably hadn't even felt them in her trance-like state. She had been walking steadily, purposefully for almost an hour now. Where she was going she neither knew nor cared as she pushed her way through waist-deep snow that had been hardened into something just short of solid ice by the thawing and re-freezing of the day and night.
Now more than two miles from the house, Hali fell to her knees as she once again stumbled weakly. As if the sharp sting of ice and snow against her legs had penetrated to the very core of her being, she suddenly found herself released from her trance-like state. Aware once more of her surroundings, she looked all about in mixed confusion and wonder. Just as quickly the feelings of confusion were replaced with understanding as Hali felt the exhaustion and excruciating pain her body now endured. Biting back a cry of pain, Hali quickly focused beyond the pain to where she now sat huddled in a snowdrift.
Even for the disguising layers of snow that had settled upon the land in her absence, Hali recognized this place. Glancing to the gentle blue hues on the eastern horizon, her vague memories of this place were confirmed as she spied the telltale markings she had left the last time she had been here. This hill led to the cliff she had once camped on in the days before she had been taken in by her friends. But in all this snow she could not remember her way back.
What would have brought her back to such a place, she wondered silently as she sat shivering in the snow. Briefly she considered delving back into the sub-conscious thought that had led her here, but just as quickly rejected it. Her body had brought her out of her mindless wandering because it knew all too well just how close death hovered around the edges. Withdrawing into herself would mean certain death in the icy exposure of the winter elements.
Using limbs that screamed icy agony at every motion, she rose unsteadily to her feet still wondering why she had returned to this place. Maybe death wasn't so bad, but she just couldn't find the will to give in to it so easily either. There had to be a way she could remember how to get to her cliff before exposure killed her. Glancing back to the meandering trail she had left, she wondered if she might not be better off just going back. There was nothing left there for her. Moreover, no good could come of re-visiting a place of so much bitter suffering.
She was about to turn back and return to the house when her sharp eyes caught the fleeting glimpse of motion on the edges of her vision. Spinning her head in the direction she had been moving only minutes before, she was stunned to see a ghostly figure standing statue still less than a hundred feet in front of her. From this distance it looked exactly like Anubis. But this figure had the gray hair of one much older than the ghost she knew. Extending her senses she was shocked to find there was no consciousness or power whatsoever in this entity. For all intents and purposes this entity simply did not exist. Knowing there was nothing that could mask its power from her so completely, she wondered if perhaps she wasn't hallucinating. Blinking a few times to clear her vision, she was only mildly surprised to see it still standing there. But what had grabbed her attention so completely now was the mysterious way with which this vision silently beckoned to her with his hand.
Curious, Hali set aside the pain and exhaustion of her body and continued to follow this entity as it lead her ever deeper into the forest. So engrossed in this bewildering turn of events had she become that she failed completely to notice anything or anyone else around her. Pushing her body once more beyond its limits of pain and exhaustion, she moved slowly forward. Fighting the stabbing pain, bitter cold, and the deepening snow, she followed this mysterious vision that left no mark upon the snow. Always it stayed just within the limits of her dimming vision moving from tree to tree leaving Hali to catch mere glimpses of fluttering robes as it made not a sound.
Breathing heavily of the stinging air, Hali leaned weakly against a tree as she came upon the open clearing that had once been the location of her camp. Falling to her knees, she wrapped her arms around herself as if to gain warmth only to find her arms colder than her body. Knowing her curiosity was going to be the death of her, Hali laughed mirthlessly. She had made it all the way here, but it was too cold and she was too tired to ever even hope of making it back to the house on her own. Still holding that mirthless grin, she decided it wasn't worth using her powers to return to the house. There was nothing there for her, just as there was nothing here…
From where he sat crouched and balanced silently in the branches of a nearby tree, Sage watched Hali fall to her knees once more. As with all the times he had seen this in the last hour or so he had been following her, he expected her to get to her feet once more and keep moving. Many times he had marveled at the inhuman stamina she seemed to possess. No human could ever have made it this far as exposed as she was. If the cold hadn't gotten to them first, the exhaustion and pain would have. He knew full well just how much her muscles must be hurting her by now from the cold and struggling through ice-like snow that all but buried her at times.
In the first several minutes Sage knew that the state of detachment she had been in mentally had been enough to separate her from the physical feelings of her body. But he had felt her awaken some time ago as she resumed conscious thought. At that point he had been certain that he would be discovered. It had shocked him that she hadn't even taken any notice of him at all. But what had disturbed him had been the curiosity Hali seemed to be consumed in as she continued. Watching intently from his aloof vantage point he began to wonder what it was that seemed to be leading her on. As yet he still couldn't understand where it was she was going or why.
Shaking this off, he continued to follow her, praying she wouldn't discover him. But now he sat watching at the edge of the clearing he now recognized to be her former camp. She had come in from a different direction, but it was still the same place. Sage knew this by the obvious footprints he had left the day before. Cursing silently, he continued to watch and wait wondering if she was ever going to get up. But his heart skipped a beat fearfully as he sensed her lost hope and desire for death. Watching her curl in painfully on herself, he fought back the urge to take her in his arms and share his warmth and gentleness with her…
"What? What did you say?" Rowen asked his friend across the dining room table.
"What's wrong with you, Rowen? You're acting like a space case. Is it what happened between you and Sage last night?" Ryo asked as he sat waiting for Sai to finish making breakfast.
Shaking his head slowly, Rowen said, "Not really. It's…"
Just as Rowen was about to tell them what was really on his mind, he caught himself. Meeting Ryo's questioning gaze briefly, he heaved a sigh.
"I didn't sleep very well last night. Yeah, I'm worried about Sage and it's bugging me. But I guess it doesn't matter," Rowen rattled off with a distracted gaze.
"Well it matters to me," Ryo said angrily. "He had no right to treat you like that."
"Or anyone for that matter," Sai added from where he stood by the stove.
"Yeah," Ryo continued. "What's gotten into him, Rowen? Did he and Hali have a fight or what?"
"It's not Hali," Rowen said exasperatedly. "I don't know what it is."
"Then it's about time we ask him," Ryo said angrily as he rose from the table. "If he thinks he can hide-out in his room all day, he's wrong."
"No! Wait!" Rowen said, jumping up to stop his friend. As Ryo and Sai eyes Rowen curiously at this unexpected outburst, Rowen flushed not sure what to say. "Look, he's not there. He and Hali went out this morning before anyone got up. He said he wanted to be alone with her for a little while."
"Alone?" Ryo and Sai chorused in surprise.
"You mean to tell me that after what happened yesterday that he wanted to be alone with her?" Ryo asked in disbelief.
With a wistful smile Sai's watery eyes glittered softly. "Making up for his rude behavior I would imagine," he said cheerfully.
"Yeah, something like that," Rowen mumbled darkly his gut tightening at having lied to his friends.
"But haven't they been gone quite a while. They're usually back by now," Ryo observed, not without suspicion.
"Oh, relax, Ryo. If what Rowen said is true, they've only been gone an hour and a half," Sai told him.
"If they're not back in half an hour I say we should go look for them," Rowen said suddenly, ignoring the seeming question the truth of his earlier statement.
Once again two pairs of eyes focused in surprise on Rowen.
"What's wrong, Rowen? Do you feel something from Sage or what?" Ryo asked.
Quickly Rowen shook his head bringing Sai to say, "No. He's just jealous and was hoping for a shot at Hali."
Even before Sai finished these words, Rowen's pale, taught expression flushed a deep crimson at the very thought. As expected, this brought deep, rolling laughter from both Sai and Ryo as they sat back down at the table.
From far beyond the realms of mortals and men came the deep, rolling laughter of a being of infinite power and existence as he watched the scenes being played out before him. Much like the mortals, laughter felt good in a giddy, lightening way he rarely felt. But as he watched his creature jump from role to role leading these simple mortals around in their game, he laughed greatly at the amusement of it all. So long had he lead others around in a myriad games of life and fate that he had forgotten just how much fun it was to sit back and let another do all the work.
Laughing heartily, he let his echoing laughter flow and bounce away in countless directions. Spreading its joyful influence to anything it touched, his laughter rang out loud and clear through aeons of time and space unchecked by its source.
On the cliff overlooking an all but frozen river, Hali suddenly ceased in her shivering. Shoving away the desire to give up and die right here, she rose to her feet as her eyes fell upon the footprints that lay frozen in the snow all over her former camp sight. Someone had been here—and recently. What she ha thought was correct in more ways than she liked to admit. There really was nothing here—not anymore.
Even the powerful imprint of emotions she had left here all those weeks ago had been taken from this place. Ever so slowly she entered the clearing one step at a time. Her eyes wandering from the footprints to a black square on the ground only a few feet in front of her, she struggled to remember what it was that had been there when she left. Vague memories of her last day on the cliff began to surface as she at last understood why she had been lead to this place.
Less than a minute later she remembered what it was that had rested in this black hole in the snow. Her journal. And, all around it lay the footprints of a familiar tread she knew to belong to one of the five young men she had come to know as friend. But it was none of this that gave away the identity of the friend that now possessed the tattered remains of her journal. The lack of emotion and the healing of the land that she now felt upon the land all around her told her whom it had been.
And that was not all she found…
Coldly she walked to the edge of the cliff giving no indication of her intentions. A gentle, chilling breeze swept over the cliff and around Hali as she stood motionless. Shoving away all feeling she closed her eyes and took in the world around her. Extending her senses to the farthest reaches of her vision, she took in everything. A world frozen in the sleep of winter pulsed just underneath the surface with renewed life and vitality. But, from Hali's point of view, the world was crashing in all around her. Suffocating her with misery and slashing at the very core of her being with shards of shattered hopes Hali let these feelings consume her.
Yet, for all of this, Hali felt the urge to laugh. She was so undeniably human to the very core and all of this disturbed and pained her in ways she couldn't even begin to feel. But she was so beyond human in so many ways that none of this should even matter to her. She could die here now and none of it would touch her anymore. Or she could stay and face it all and the truth of what she really was. Either way, it shouldn't bother her. Why she let it crush her and beat her down she couldn't understand. The mortal world held nothing but misery and sorrow for her. Why did she insist on staying?
"Because I'm human," she whispered to the wind, to the Earth, to anything listening.
Bitter, mirthless laughter erupted from the very core of the being that was Draconis—that was Hali. Together the two laughed loud and clear creating a distant, reverberating echo throughout the valley and river below her. Never moving beyond the chest and stomach spasms of laughter that rolled from her lungs freely, she stood on the very edge of the snow-covered cliff neither knowing nor caring that she was being watched. For just a moment, none of it mattered. For just this one, brief moment in time she was above and beyond the touch of mortals and all their misery.
Moments later the laughter ceased as quickly as it began when Hali caught the distant echo of laughter filled with humor and joy unlike anything she had ever heard. Brought to her by the winds across incomprehensible distances the laughter had been heard only in her mind. Though it lasted only for an instant, that was all it took for her to recognize that laugh, that joy. Many times had she heard it in the past, but never had she heard it like this. This was something else altogether different that she had only felt in the moment she had been at the peak of her power ready to toss aside the mortal confinements of body and life.
Standing still and unmoving once more, she again considered that laugh and what it portended. Perhaps she had been shortsighted in the past, but not anymore. There was much to be done and little, if any time. This time she wasn't going to just accept what destiny tossed her. This time it was her turn.
But first she was going to enjoy a moment of peace. If never again, she would enjoy the tranquility this world held in balance with the misery it wrought. It was doubtful she would ever again feel this way. What it was that whispered to her on the wind of what was to come, she didn't know, nor did she care. All that mattered was this one moment she now lived as nothing more than a human. No power, no senses, no destiny, no pain...no purpose. Just the blissful, cherished moment of simple human existence upon a world of life and untold splendor.