Yay, reviews! Glorious reviews! -spins around in them before a gigantic pile flies from the heavens and squishes me- oh noes!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the reviews!
And I'm super happy I can entertain people with my silly story, but let me get this point across so it doesn't come up anymore.
Look, I know, this is a fan fiction site. And to be honest, I do read romance stories between the Joker and some random OC, but I do tend to like stories better when they're more realistically written, but most times that's not the case, so I'm only putting this out here to show you people not to blow everything way out of proportion.
If you make a character, at least make her realistic.
So make her nothing like this.
The end.
Now enjoy.
DISCLAIMER! I DO NOT OWN TDK!
PS. I love how I'm getting love confessions… In almost every few reviews. Ladies and gents, -slicks hair back- I know I'm irresistable, but... Kekeke. If that doesn't get me flames I dont know what will. lmao
PPS. My grandma is visiting today, that's why this chapter will possibly be the last for a bit. Don't worry, I'll hopefully be able to update soon. And that will give you the chance to suggest more ideas for the story! I've already decided to put Joker in the nurse outfit, because, well, thats just sexy. Who wouldn't want THAT walking in the hospital while you were in intensive care?
I know I would.
--
The Joker cracked his knuckles and grinned in such a disturbing way, it made Mary-Sue uneasy.
"Alright! Finally an action scene.." He fell into a fit of cackles before walking towards the door, whistling something that could only be compared to 'Twisted Nerve'. Before slamming the door behind him, he held his head in an odd angle, and it looked as though it might snap off. He then called out..
"Don't let tuts get away now, alright?" He waved in a peculiar manner, making each finger go down in an odd domino looking effect before turning away.
"You heard boss!" One of the henchman spoke loud, nodding to the others.
"Grroaaaaaaagghhhh…" The undead henchman moaned, now gnawing on the other henchman's arm.
Mary-Sue pouted, then began all out wailing.
"What's wrong with her?" One of the henchman asked the other two.
"Uh.." One shrugged, turning to the one currently gnawing on his arm.
"Graaauuwghhh.."
"I know what you sick freaks want!" She sniffled, now unbuttoning her blouse.
All three of them gasped at the same time.
"You want to rape me! Multiple times, possibly at the same time! And there's nothing I can do about it because I'm a poor defenseless teenager and you're all strong, grown men!"
All three of them stared at each other while Mary-Sue tossed her blouse aside and began trying to slip out of her skin tight mini-skirt.
"Woah woah woah, Mary-Sue. We can't do that! We actually have some respect for our boss, we would never do that with his woman. Besides, he already bought you a wedding ring and promised he'd marry you along the pearly white beaches of Jamaica."
"No he didn't." Mary-Sue said flatly.
"Oh well hell. Okay then," one of them laughed maniacally, rubbing his hands together in that evil way that evil people.. Do.
The other henchman slapped him across the face. "Man, come to your senses! We can't do that, she's… underage." He shuddered.
The undead one nodded.
"Eeek!" She cried out, dropping to the ground.
"Why'd you do that?" He asked.
"There's no point in running, because you'll just catch me!" She sniffled, tears streaming down her face. You'd think everyone's face got red and puffy from crying, but not Mary-Sue's. She remained flawless while the tiny tears cut paths down her face.
"No really," The one henchman began, "We're not going to rape you, okay? Now put your clothes on and stand up."
"Just don't harm anyone else in Gotham!" She cried out, shaking a can of whipped cream.
"BOSS! HELP US!" They all shrieked in girly voices, clinging to each other for dear life.
The Joker slammed the door open, an emotionless look on his face.
"How'd the fight with Batman go?" One piped up, still clinging to the other men.
"It was just Adam West again.." He grumbled, before realizing something was amiss.
Mary-Sue was sprawled across the floor, half-naked and badly beaten.
"YOU MONSTERS!! I LEAVE YOU IN HERE FOR TEN MINUTES WITH HER, AND YOU BEAT HER HALF TO DEATH AND RAPE HER!" He had never sounded so angry. No one messed with his woman and got away with. Not even…
"Christopher Walken?!" The Joker exclaimed, just now noticing the man standing in the corner making googly eyes at Mary-Sue, who then burst through the window never to be mentioned again.
"Boss.. We didn't beat her. You did, remember? Earlier?" One suggested, a frown on his face.
"LIES!" The Joker screamed, bitch-slapping the man into oblivion.
The other two stared wide-eyed.
"Uh.."
"Ugh…" Mary-Sue moaned, but not in a pathetic way like all other girls, it was in a strong way. But not too strong, because that would be manly. And no manly sounds ever escape from Mary-Sue's lips.
"Mary-Sue!" Joker gasped, scooping her up in his big, strong arms..
Let's all just take a minute to soak that in and pretend it was me in his arms.
Yeah.
That's nice.
Joker carried her into a bedroom, laying her on the bed and covered her with his purple trench coat. I mean, I guess he could go get her clothes, but that would take away from the sexiness, you know? And you know me and my stories. I always bring sexy back. Always.
Not really.
I just made that up too.
"If only I had tried harder to save you.. If only I had.." Tears began to form in his eyes as the theme from Titanic played in the background.
WAIT.
WAIT.
NO, THAT'S TOO MUCH.
EVEN FOR ME.
Lets totally forget I ever wrote that and have him sitting on the edge of the bed watching the Gotham News, despite the fact he's apparently in an abandoned warehouse that has no electricity.
Mary-Sue awoke with a stir as Joker sat on the edge of the bed, discussing what was on the T.V.
"Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.." He snorted.
"Joker.." She said weakly, reaching out for him..
POW!
He back-handed her and turned to her with deep, cold eyes.
"Don't ever scare me like that again." He then held her again in his big, warm, strong arms…
Yeah.
That's still nice.
"Joker.." She said softly. "Tell me about you."
"Wanna know how I got this scars..?" He grinned, shoving her roughly off of him.
"But-" She began, but he cut her off sharply.
"I was working at McDonalds, using the patty cutter. Well, I started making out with the patty cutter because I did a lot of LSD back then--"
Mary-Sue stared.
"And then I was attacked by the HamBurgler! He slapped the back of my head, and I hit it at just the angle that my mouth got split," He ran a finger across his lips, "Just like this."
Mary-Sue was wide-eyed. "Are.. Are you serious?"
"Do I look like someone who's ever serious?" He frowned.
"Can I have a hint?"
"It depends."
"Depends on…?" Mary-Sue questioned, already understanding what he was getting at. She began taking off what remainder of clothes she had left.
The Joker then proceeded to beat the living hell out of her, but not before a window crashed open and Batman was thrown into the equation.
"Joker, you sick cross-dressing clown and cheap imitation of IT, I will now proceed to kick your ass!" Batman growled, grabbing Joker and throwing him down the stairs.
"Mary-Sue, you stay here. I've got some unfinished business to attend to…" He began to turn away, his cape going all 'woosh' in the wind that came from the broken window.
"Wait!" She cried out, grabbing his arm. "Who are you, strange masked man?!"
"… Weren't we childhood friends or something?"
She shook her head.
He looked at his costume.
"Can't you tell who I am?"
She shook her head.
"There's a picture of a… on my chest."
"A hickey?" She asked.
"What? No! No, its an animal! Damn, woman!" He rubbed his temples.
Mary-Sue stared long and hard.
"An elephant?"
He sighed irritated.
"I'm… A three letter word, man."
"Catman?"
"Try again. A creature than can fly."
"Birdman?"
"FOR GODSAKE'S WOMAN, IM BATMAN! BATMAN! BIRD IS A FOUR LETTER WORD!" He screamed at her, and her eyes immediately filled with tears.
He sighed.
"Sorry, I'm just really angsty lately. Apparently I'm not supposed to let go of my feelings for Rachel until we officially meet, without my mask. I'm Bruce Wayne, billionaire extraordinaire. Owner of Wayne enterprises. Your other love interest. Anyway, I must be off. Goodbye, Mary-Sue," He kissed her hand, before flying down the stairs to continue kicking more ass.
Because that's what Batman does.
Kick ass.
"Goodbye, Fatman.." Mary-Sue said dreamily, softly touching the hand he'd kissed.
--
If you're questioning my Joker story, before you ask-- Yes, there is such a thing as a patty cutter. No, it would not be wise to make-out with it. Or do LSD. Or do drugs while on a job.
DANANANANAANANANANAANANAAAA BATMAAAAAAN!!