Sorry if this isn't as funny as the last few, but I'm kind of sick to my stomach.. And grandma's here until Tuesday... So I've decided to hide in my room to escape her wrath. lmao

And I felt guilty after getting so many reviews, so I typed this out. I tried my best, okay? -sad eyes-

You know you love me.

-eye twitch-

I loved most of the ideas suggested, and I'm sorry I haven't been able to reply to all of your reviews. I don't really know if you guys care if I reply or not..

Well, anyway.

Hope you enjoy.

I LUFFLES YOU ALL

DISCLAIMER! I don't own TDK!

--

Mary-Sue looked out the window, noticing the cops had arrived. They must've realized she had been kidnapped for a total of an hour and five minutes. She wiped tears away, hating to part with the man she loved.. But she'd known all along it couldn't work. She was, after all, Commissioner Gordon's oldest step-daughter. His pride and jewel.

He had commented time after time at numerous Christmas parties how much more beautiful Mary-Sue was than his real daughter.

Mary-Sue sighed humbly, wiping tears from her eyes. They were so much more loving than her actual parents.

A loud crash was heard below, and Mary-Sue quickly hurried down the stairs.

Well, actually she fell down them because she's very accident prone.

But that only makes her even more adorable.

So everyone just lets it slide.

When she finally tumbled down to the final step, she landed perfectly on her feet.

Some henchmen stopped the fight with Batman to clap, and held up signs that read '10'. She bowed, smiling sweetly and giving one of those Miss America waves.

They then began cheering.

Batman had beaten the Joker nearly to a pulp, then threw him to the ground and pulled his HANDCUFFS OF JUSTICE! From his utility belt. "Joker, get on your knees." He growled.

Don't you dare think about this in a dirty way.

The Joker stared up at him, licking his lips.

"Don't get all gay on me fatso."

Batman then poised to kick him again, but Joker grabbed his leg and threw him to the ground. Standing up, he cracked his neck.

"I reckon' there ain't enough room in the… room for the two of us." The Joker spat, running his fingers through his hair. He was now wearing a cowboy hat and ass-less chaps.

What? If people can't write him at least a little bit correctly, I'm going to go all out and make this completely off.

"Well, spank my ass and call me Debbie!" Batman shouted, standing up. "It appears I've soiled myself from the sheer impact of the floor hitting my head!"

"Is that a bat-a-rang in your pants, or are you just excited to see me?" The Joker giggled, spinning around about the room.

"How much do you know about… Davy Jones? Savvy?" Batman asked, chugging a bottle of rum.

"One ring to rule them all…" The Joker snorted, tossing a Lord of the Rings DVD to the side.

SEVERAL OVER-USED MOVIE LINES LATER…

The cops drug The Joker away, and he turned to Mary-Sue one last time, winking at her.

She winked back, but her left eye was bruised so bad it was swollen shut, so he only thought she blinked.

"Have a nice trip, see you next fall," A cop said, opening the door.

"SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!" The Joker shrieked before they slammed the door to the patrol car. Mary-Sue sniffled, realizing she'd lost the love of her life. Remembering all those times, the good and the bad, she slowly realized..

"I'm still in my bra and underwear!" She gasped, wondering why all the cops couldn't seem to keep their eyes off of her. Batman turned from a cop he was discussing the Joker with, then said goodbye to all of them.

"Peace out, girl scouts." He waved and then drove away in the bat car.

The Joker glared out of the window in the car, swearing to be with Mary-Sue again one day.

"I swear to be with Mary-Sue again one day.." He stared, as Mary-Sue now flaunted herself to the policemen asking for a ride.

"That's hot." Paris Hilton motioned to Mary-Sue, wiping some mascara off her face.

"You're damn right."

A DAY LATER…

Mary-Sue walked into her job, wearing a tank top and a very skimpy blue-jean mini-skirt. She held her head high, trying not to let people know she would probably be more emotionally scarred than she already was. Must. Stay. Perky.

"Dallas!" She hummed, tossing her beautiful hair around in a circular motion while all the men in their cubicles stood up, jaws nearly dropping to the floor. "MY GOD, IT'S MARY-SUE! WE'VE MISSED YOU, O' GODESS OF INFINITE BEAUTY!" They then bowed down and worshiped her.

"Dallas!" She prodded the black-haired teen in skinny jeans who sat in the business office, currently transfixed on the fish swimming around in the tank on the desk.

"Why the hell am I here?" Dal asked no one in particular, then peered over a paper. "Shame-less self inserts.. Haha, oh yeah. Durrrr."

Clipping a clip on tie to look more the part of an office worker, Dallas smirked.

Have I ever told you I look great in a tie?

Hm. Maybe I should quit being such a narcissistic asshole and continue on with the story.

"I'm so in love with her.. I've divorced my ugly wife to marry her, and today's the day.." A man said happily, clutching a wedding ring that currently had a finger on it.

"Chuck! I thought what we had was special!" The woman who owned that finger then began sobbing uncontrollably.

"Shut up bitch!" He ordered, kicking her out the window of a ten story work office.

"Hey!" Another man yelled. "You can't do that!"

Chuck gasped, suddenly remembering murder was one of the 'no-no's' at work.

"You can't give Mary-Sue that ring because I'm already going to marry her!" He said angrily.

"Alright, which one of you sons a bitches said that they're going to marry my Mary-Sue?!" Another man yelled, clutching an AK-47.

Chuck and Bob pointed at one another, and in no time were blown to bits.

Dallas then walked out of the office, wanting a soda. Mary-Sue gleefully trailed behind, leaving the bloody massacre to end its self. "It's time to duel!" A man cried out, now beginning a Kill Bill style battle with another man.

.. A FEW MINUTES LATER..

Dallas was focused on a newspaper while Mary-Sue jabbered on.

"Don't you remember, Dally-Wally? Bruce, you, Rachel and I were all the best of friends! You silly banana, how come you keep ignoring me? Do.. Do you not want to be friends anymore..?"

"Did you just call me a bana-"

"Oh! What're you reading?" Mary-Sue exclaimed, completely forgetting about the emo teen's ignorance to her sad plight.

"Oh, uh.. They're looking for a new mayor since Dent died." Dallas mumbled. "Apparently they're having some kind of rally today that's conveniently placed right outside our work. Go figure."

A light bulb went up above Mary-Sue's head.

"I'm going to be the new mayor!" Mary-Sue said happily, running out of the office and to the rally.

"Oh god.. What have I done.." Dallas spoke. "Woof woof! MEOW! QUACK--" Then promptly exploded.

A crowd stood, listening to a fat man on the stand.

"And, I promise to lower taxes, feed and clothe the poor, try my hardest to get the mob out of this city, capture the Batman, and fix this beautiful town up the way it should be!" He spoke out, raising a fist.

Because when you raise your fist everything looks professional.

"Wait!" Mary-Sue yelled, stepping up on stage.

"My god, she's beautiful!" A man screamed, then they all began to scream. After a few minutes, they even all stood up and clapped and cheered. "Our new mayor, Mary-Sue!"

"Yeaaah!"

"Woo!"

"Hurraay!"

The pudgy runner up for mayor looked flabbergasted. "What.. What makes you think she's even qualified to be the mayor of this city?! You don't even know what she stands for! Don't you want to fix Gotham, and change the way things are now?" The man huffed, red-faced and angry.

The crowd went quiet. "We.. Hadn't really thought of that." One piped up.

"Mary-Sue," The pudgy man asked. "What are your ideas to fix the city?"

"I like cupcakes!" She grinned, twirling in a circle to show off her glossy thighs.

So It was decided.

Mary-Sue was the new mayor of Quahog..

I mean Gotham.

"Mary-Sue's the new mayor.." Bruce said, glancing at his television. Then rewinding it and putting it in slow motion to get a better look at her sexy legs. "Thank god for Tivo.."

"You got that right." Alfred agreed.

"So it is decided, I will have a party for Mary-Sue. I can see her making changes to this town." Bruce nodded, now making out a list of guests..

--