AN: I was asked not to let you hang over the weekend, and who am I to refuse... hope this does the trick... don't forget to let me know!!
Sam knew he had seen his brother's last conscious moments, and what he saw terrified him. The sound of tires squealing, Dean cussing as the brakes failed, the sound of the Camero slamming first through a fence before careening into a light post where it and the occupant moved no more. The sight still lingered with him as he saw his brother unconscious and pinned in the car with the engine smoking and people yelling while trying to find a way to get Dean out. The thought of Dean dying made him sick to his stomach but he fought the feeling knowing that his big brother was in worse shape than he was. He knew that if anyone deserved that to happen, it was him not Dean; his brother had helped so many people and was still needed. He was just a trouble magnet and more of a burden to his brothers than anything else. No, if anyone deserved this, it was definitely him.
Taylor didn't like the silence that had descended on his little brother, it was as if the kid was blaming himself and he didn't like that one bit. Trying to concentrate on the road, he attempted to keep the conversation he'd just had with Joseph out of his head with little success. Although it had been short and to the point, it conveyed more than just words; Dean was in trouble. The car had apparently lost all braking function sending Dean straight into a light pole where they had to pry him out with the Jaws of Life in order to assess his condition. At the moment Joseph and Stephen were at the ER waiting on news and wanted the rest of their brothers with them. One thing that definitely stood out in the conversation though was they were more than scared, they were terrified, which left Taylor wondering just what they would find when they got there.
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Stephen stood in the middle of the waiting room with the need of at least appearing to do something besides sit on his ass and stare at the doorway. 'Yeah, like standing in the middle of the room staring at the doorway is so much better.' He thought bitterly, wondering when he became such a damn jellyfish. Then he remembered, it was about the time they realized that Dean wasn't hotrodding down the street, but really in trouble. No matter how old he got he would never forget the sight of Dean slamming into the post and then… nothing. The realization that Dean wasn't going to jump out of the car with a grin and a smart ass remark like 'What a rush!' had hit him about the time that he saw Dean bleeding, unconscious and barely breathing. Sighing, he ran his fingers over his head and tried to release some of the anxiety that was still prominent in his body and mind.
Looking over he saw Joseph staring at the floor tiles with an untouched cup of coffee in his hands that he was pretty sure a nurse had thrust into the man's hand in hopes of keeping him still for two seconds. Their arrival into the ER was definitely filled with energy and Stephen understood why the staff was concerned about what they might do. He almost laughed at the thought of what they had to look like as they escorted Dean's seemingly broken body into the doors yelling for more help and completely disregarding the paramedic's opinion of things. Yes, he could definitely see why the nurses thought they both were deranged lunatics. With that thought in mind he was once again looking around for security personnel sure that they had not only been called but that they were watching very closely in case they were needed.
"Stephen! How's Dean?" a voice boomed down the hallway causing more than one displeased nurse to turn their way.
Seeing the Colonel as well as Jenna rushing down towards them, Stephen and Joseph quickly made their way to meet them wondering what they were doing there already. Noticing their confusion Jenna answered their unspoken question.
"I was supposed to start treatment today so we were here already." She said as she watched the two closely. These men were like brothers to her, sons that her parents never had, and now one of them was hurting in another part of the hospital and there was nothing they could do about it. "How's Dean?"
"We're not sure yet, the doctors are still with them and nurses aren't telling us a damn thing." Stephen growled in frustration. He knew it wasn't Jenna's fault and he was sure that she knew he wasn't angry with her, but he still felt bad snapping at her especially with her being so ill right now.
Jenna nodded in sympathy and was about to voice her opinion about hospital staff when he saw movement close to the doorway ceasing her train of thought. The sight of Sam so scared sent cold chills through her and made her want to hide from the evidence that her rock was infallible.
Terrance saw Jenna's reaction and turned to see both Taylor and Sam rushing towards them looking more frightened than he'd ever seen either of them. Glancing at his daughter he could only imagine the pain that she too was feeling, but also knew that this was something that she was going to have to deal with.
"Sam, Taylor, in here!" the Colonel called out, hoping that keeping Jenna close wouldn't be detrimental to Sam's health. After all he was completely oblivious to the amount of stress the boy had been under and having Dean out of commission was just going to be one of the additional factors that could be the young man's undoing.
"Anything yet?" Taylor asked while looking at everyone. He hadn't obeyed any of the posted speed limits and ran every light he could to get them there quickly. Now it looked like it was a wait and see game and that wasn't something that Taylor liked to do.
The Musketeers watched their little brother closely and knew without a doubt that the kid had a vision of what happened which was something that they each wished hadn't happened; Sammy didn't need to be that privy to their brother's pain. Seeing that Sammy was about to collapse in the middle of the room Stephen and Taylor grabbed his arms and guided him towards a chair that Joseph pulled closer. After getting their little brother sat down, Joseph took position next to him rubbing circles on his back in the effort to calm him down. There was no doubt that Sammy wasn't going to say anything to anyone for awhile, but that didn't mean that he needed to feel alone.
Celia walked into the waiting room not sure what she would find but not fully expecting what he did. Sam was bent over holding his head in his hands while Joseph rubbed his back, Stephen and Taylor took guard positions next to their brothers as if to field any interference from the outside world, and the Colonel seemed to be overseeing the whole operation while Jenna looked like all she wanted to do was hold Sam in her arms and never let go.
"I have news. Dean is still unconscious and has a definite concussion but we're also suspecting a fractured skull. His ribs and sternum took a nasty beating from the steering wheel slamming into them, but the good news is that there doesn't seem to be any breaks to bones or damage to his heart. We'll have to wait until he wakes up to fully assess damages, but from what I hear Dean's extremely lucky to be alive." She said calmly, praying that she hadn't just giving them too much too quickly. These men were like family to her, and the one thing she didn't want to do was hurt them more than they were already.
Sam looked up and tried to fight back the tears while he asked, "He'll be ok?"
Ignoring the effort it took Sam to stammer the small question out, Celia nodded, "I believe so yes. Right now our main concern is the head trauma which can be tricky, but we'll monitor him and take care of any issues that arise before he wakes. Right now though, he's getting a CT scan to assess whether or not he has a skull fracture. Once that's out of the way then we can figure out the best course of action for treatment. Sam, I know that you're going to want to be in there with him, and I can arrange it but you have to take care of yourself too, alright?"
Nodding, Sam would have agreed to anything in order to see his big brother. He hadn't told anyone about what he saw, but he had a feeling that they already knew and that was why they were insisting on staying so close to him. Right now though all he wanted to do was make sure Dean was alright and let everything else fall away; he didn't care about himself, all he cared about was Dean.
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Celia was more than a little concerned about what was going on in room 203. The patient there for all intents and purposes was going to be fine, but he still hadn't woken up in order to alleviate everyone's fears. However it was the other person in the room that had her more concerned. Sam hadn't left his brother's side even for a moment since he had been allowed inside the room and that was more than twelve hours ago. Each of the Musketeers had tried to coax the boy away to get something to eat and to take a few moments to relieve the stress he was obviously under, but nothing seemed to work. Short of sedating him, Celia wasn't sure what else she could do, but if something wasn't done soon, she was sure Sam was going to pass out from exhaustion.
"Sweetheart, what are you thinking?" Stephen asked from behind the doctor, the concern more evident than ever as they both watched Sammy from the doorway as he stared at Dean as if he was concerned that the only thing keeping his brother in the land of the living was his presence.
Shaking her head, she didn't want to voice her opinion, but knew that the brothers were thinking the same thing… Sam needed intervention soon otherwise they could lose him. "I don't know Stephen. I want to give him more time with Dean, but at the moment that's the only thing he's focused on. We need to get him to eat and get some rest, but right now I don't know how to do that without isolating him more than he's done himself."
Looking beyond his girlfriend, Stephen watched the monitors and noticed that there wasn't any change in Dean's vitals which could easily be considered good, but didn't help anyone's fears. The severe concussion had thrown Dean into a shallow coma, but the longer he stayed in that state, the more concerned the doctors were becoming that he could slip deeper and that would devastate Sammy. Looking again at his little brother, Stephen saw the signs that the stress was becoming too much. They had noticed the slight stutter in the ER waiting room, but since then he had refused to speak to anyone verbally, instead making his intentions known by body language and the intent refusal to be moved. He knew they were going to have to do something soon, but short of carrying Sammy bodily out of the room, no one had any ideas of what they could do. Taylor and Joseph were on their way back from getting everyone something to eat in the hopes of at least trying to keep Sammy's strength up, but that would only work if he ate.
Jenna walked up to the pair and waited a few moments before she asked, "Do you think I could help?" She knew that Sam hadn't left Dean's side and she was more than a little concerned about the strain it could put on his health.
"I'm sorry Jenna, but I doubt if seeing you right now would help much." Stephen said, aware of the pain he was inflicting on her but unable to care.
She knew she deserved the attitude, but at the moment she was more concerned about Sam than what anyone else thought about her. Straightening her shoulders, she walked past Celia and Stephen and didn't stop until she was next to Sam. "Sam, you need to eat. Why don't we go down stairs for a quick bite then we'll come right back."
Sam sat quietly and continued to watch Dean's even breathing not acknowledging Jenna until he quietly asked, "What are you doing here?"
"I was supposed to start treatment today. Daddy and I were here when Dean was brought in." Jenna said quietly, wondering if there was more to the question than what she thought.
"Supposed to?" Sam asked, barely glancing at her but knowing that she would answer anyway.
Standing silent for a moment, Jenna wondered how she should respond. Sam had his own worries right now, and adding her issues to them just seemed too selfish. Seeing him glance back at her again she nodded. "I backed out. I know that it seems silly, but what if this treatment didn't work, I'd be too sick for them to try anything else and I just couldn't do that to Daddy." She hadn't meant to let everything out, but once she started she couldn't seem to stop. "I know that it was the best way to go if I had a chance of surviving and possibly having kids later, but if it didn't work then it would take everything away anyway. I couldn't see the point of risking everything on a maybe when I have a definite chance as long as I stick with another protocol."
Silence took over the room as Sam listened and understood what Jenna was saying. Sometimes it was a simple case of the lesser of two evils; the problem was distinguishing the two. It took a moment before he nodded and answered. "So you think a more traditional approach gives you a better chance."
"No, not really. There's just too many unknowns and I worry about making the wrong decision and leaving Daddy behind; he's been through so much already."
Sighing, Sam ran a hand through his hair before turning towards her. "Jenna, if having children wasn't a factor, which one would you go with? Deep down you know the answer, the question is, are you ready to admit it." Having said that he turned his attention back to Dean, effectively dismissing her.
Stunned, both Celia and Stephen stood still and watched the interaction between Sam and Jenna. At first they were both angry that she would lay her pain at his feet, but then understood that for that moment it took the focus of his pain away from him. Seeing Jenna suddenly understand what she needed to do was something that neither would ever forget, it was as if something had finally been pieced together within her and a light came on giving her a confidence that she had been lacking since her own diagnosis.
Jenna gave a short nod and a final glance towards Dean before she exited the room leaving the others quietly contemplating the last few minutes. It wasn't until Taylor and Joseph came in with bags of food that Celia and Stephen moved from where they were standing, but what got their attention the most was what Sam said so quietly to Dean that if there had been any other noise in the room they would have missed it.
"I'm so sorry Dean, it should have been me."