Yeah, so school started and all that jazz. I'm really trying hard because I want to be the first person in my family to go to college, therefore all my time has been consumed into studying and practice my art to possibly get a free scholarship.
Yeah..
And my funny has kinda been sucked out. The person I've been in love with for quite some time used me, and I think it's kind of messed me up mentally.. A lot.
No worries though, I'll update time to time when I can.
Okay, Disclaimer!
Don't own the dark knight never will blah blah to lazy to capitalize the dark knight..
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Batman stood inside the bat cave, looking rather insane as usual. He's a grown man dressed as a bat, okay? What the hell kind of person dresses up as an animal? Okay, furries, yeah, but besides that?
Anyway, Batman was angst-y as usual because that's all he ever is in this stories, when his sex drive isn't through the roof because of all the Mary-Sues. Oh come on, you know it's true. Don't give me that look.
I took a shower today.
Bruce was remembering that fateful night, the one fateful night out of all those other random fateful nights where his parents were killed.
It was a tragic night, but not more tragic than Rachel's death because he loved Rachel a tiny bit more than his parents. You know what, screw that.
Bruce loved money.
He loved it good.
It was the tragic play, the play of doom, the play to end all plays. Hell, let's make it a musical.
It was…
Singing in The Rain.
No, it was actually Sweeney Todd.
Want to know how he got those scars? Bruce knew. Joker was a born a poor boy, who always wanted to tap dance. It was his night, but sadly Sweeney when a bit crazy with the blades and scarred Joker's beautiful, luscious, red..
Bruce licked his lips, taking a bite out his juicy chicken wing.
Hm, would that be considered cannibalism? I suppose not, I guess chickens are more reptilian. They are cold blooded, and bats are mammals, so…
Any who, Joker was scarred for life and bleeding everywhere so Bruce's parents took him outside. Not because they didn't want Bruce to see the potentially life-scarring event, it was because they needed a smoke.
SMOKE.
It wasn't cigarettes either.
It was…
Cigars.
I know what you all were thinking, and you were wrong. Does it make you feel sad to be wrong? Do you feel unaccomplished?
Let me just inhale that shame of yours.
Mmmmmm.
Delicious.
"Bruce my boy, we're filthy rich, me and your mom. I'm sorry, but you were an accident, you were never supposed to even be born!" He gave a full and hearty laugh. "In fact, your mom was going to get an abortion but it was too late because we were in the delivery room and your being was thrust onto us. Damn woman, I thought it was just the Twinkies but no, it was your ugly carcass coming to form within her fat gut."
Bruce shed a tear that day.
"Oh and your friend Rachel only hangs out with you because we pay her, in fact she hates you too. She says you're ugly and you smell, and your face looks like a butt. Don't take it personally, some people are just given natural beauty. Like Harvey Dent, for instance." Bruce's father stifled tears. "That is one fine lookin' boy. Way better than you will ever be, well in fact-"
"THIS IS A ROBBERY!" A random bum with a gun stumbled up. "Give me all your jewelry and no one's gonna get hurt, okay?" The bum smiled, ruffling Bruce's hair. "I could never separate a boy from his parents. Family is an important thing is this society today, in fact, I never knew my father. That's why I'm a hopeless drunken bum. Stay in school!"
Bruce's father and mother smiled, handing over every single expensive item that was on them.
"Have a nice night!" The crazy bum smiled and waved, walking off.
"OH HELL NO!" Bruce had screamed, stealing the gun and blowing his parents away in a matter of seconds.
Bruce frowned, now finishing off a sandwich. Is that how it had happened?
Hmmm.
Random lights flashing, Bruce stood up his cape all flutter-y.
"OH NO! THIS RANDOM LIGHTS INDICATE DANGER!" He yelled, slamming his fist onto his computer.
A screen that conveniently showed every single girl in the world killing over in a matter of seconds popped up, and Bruce couldn't believe his eyes.
"WHO COULD DO THIS?! WHAT MONSTER HAS KILLED OFF ALL THE WOMEN?!" Bruce said in frustration, pulling out clumps of his hair from the very anger that boiled his blood!
I'd hate to be the next person to piss him off!
"Girl scout cookies," A girl chimed, walking up to Bruce.
BLAM BLAM BLAM
Gunshots!
GASP!
DEATH OF A SALESMAN!
Which is also a play.
Bruce munched cookies over the corpse of the small child, frowning.
"I'VE GOT TO STOP THIS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! MARY-SUE, I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU!"
And with that he was gone from the Bat cave in a flash.
Wait, how'd the girl scout get in there…?
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