Chapter Nine – Heartbeats

A/N: The Success of this chapter is totally in the hands of my wonderful crippled beta Rayc. Heres another one. See if you can guess the inspiration for the title... lol. And I'm sorry for the long wait. I hope its up to standards.

As I sat there next to my grandfather, I understood for the first time the feeling of being completely helpless. I had been in the same position since I arrived at the hospital eight hours before; eyes riveted to the heart machine. My knuckles were fisting the sheets next to my grandfather's hand so tightly that my knuckles were white. It was then that I understood that we are all insignificant in this, 'game of life' that we played and to waste it on trying to be invisible is not really having a life at all.

I know that all through college, I participated in the Life and Death Brigade—trying to live life to the fullest. In reality, it was just a tool that we used to feel something, anything, before being eaten alive by the parasites that would in evidently invade as soon as we take over the family business. And, the truth of the matter is, I wanted to feel numb. But nothing that I ever experienced with my friends even compared to the bone chilling cold that I felt sitting at my grandfather's bedside.

Although we had our differences, my grandfather was the only one to ever see me for who I truly was—beyond my act. He was the one to persuade Mitchum to send me away to London, so I could be away from him. He knew the type of relationship that we had, it was similar to the one he and my father held before he took over the company. He understood the absolute need that I felt—the need to escape.

I was jolted out of my reverie by a pair of soft hands on my shoulders.

"Are you alright?"

I stuttered as my eyes connected with Rory's bright blues. "H-how did you get in here?" I asked, standing up to give her a hug.

She gave me an impish smile. "Finn sweet-talked the nurse into letting me in."

I looked at her incredulously. "Grandpa's male nurse?"

"Of course, you my, dear friend, underestimate Finn's powers of persuasion," she said blithely.

I rolled my eyes and sat back down in my chair. "I never will again, I promise." A few moments later, I remembered something. "When did you get here?"

Rory laughed. "We just flew in. When Tristan filled me in on your grandpa's accident, I felt really sorry for the way I treated you on the phone, and decided that you would need moral support for this. So I called in the troops."

I narrowed my eyes. "The troops?"

"Yeah, I called Finn and Sophie, Finn called Colin, who called Stephanie, and then I called the airline and booked the next flight out. I called my mother, who called my father, who brought my sister, and your parents couldn't be reached, so—

"The gang's all here…" I finished with a chuckle.

Suddenly Rory's eyes dimmed. "How is he doing?"

"Still the same," I replied, gazing over my grandfather's supine form.

I felt Rory take my hand in hers. "What happened, Logan?" she asked me tentatively. "Tristan could only tell me that he had an accident and you went to see him at the hospital."

"At that point, I didn't know much else myself," I confessed. "And I'm still not exactly sure – when Honor called me in hysterics, telling me that he had been in an accident, and was dying, it was all I could do to get here as quickly as possible. When I got here, the doctors babbled some stuff off to me, but I didn't really understand…"

Rory rubbed my back soothingly. "Well then, I guess I'll find that out for you won't I?" she said, patting my shoulder once and placing a chaste kiss on the top of my head. "I'll be back as soon as I can." She turned away, and I caught her hand as she started to move towards the door.

"Thank you," I whispered, standing and pulling her into a hug.

"It's what friends are for," she replied, giving me a little squeeze.

'Friends,' I thought. That was the last thing I wanted with this girl. I sighed and thrust the troubling thoughts from my mind. 'Focus on Grandpa,' I reminded myself.

"Thank you for everything," I whispered into her hair as I held her close.

"It was my pleasure," she replied just as softly. "Now let me go find a doctor, so we can start worrying the right way, okay?"

I simply nodded and let her out of my arms, my brain screaming at me for not kissing her. The one time that I could kiss this girl and pass it off as stress and grief, I decide to grow a conscience. 'Great…'

We spent nearly a week in the hospital, waiting for any news on my grandfather's condition. We had discovered at last that he had suffered a major heart attack when his car was hit by a drunk driver. He hadn't sustained any injuries from the crash itself, but the shock had done terrible things to his heart. For the most of the week, Honor was in an almost constant state of panic. We both were, to recount truthfully, and it was hard on both of us. We were losing the only person who still cared for us. And, as much as we wanted to be optimistic, we knew we had already lost him. He wasn't going to wake up, that was for certain, and it was only a matter of time before it became our choice to end his life for him.

The night that marked our tenth day in the hospital, I could tell everyone was on edge. Honor, curled up in Josh's arms, was shooting death glares at Colin and Finn, who had just entered the wing—carrying what they deemed to be "provisions," which were a guaranteed one-way ticket out of the hospital if they were caught.

"Mate!" called the voice of a slightly, inebriated Australian.

Honor glanced over at me and shot me a look that told me point blank that if I didn't get rid of them yesterday there was going to be a scene.

"Hey guys," I said, getting up and walking over to them, deliberately drawing them away from my sister and down the hall towards the elevators. "As much as I love this visit in the hospital, what prompted it? How can I make sure it will never happen again? Honor has that homicidal tic in her eye."

Both Colin and Finn shuddered. Having already experienced the result of pushing my sister over the edge, they were more than wary, and they had every right to be. It had not been pretty—a wonderfully funny memory for me, but kind of scary. It's not every day that your big sister beats up your best friends and you live to tell the tale.

"Logan, you promised never to bring that horrible experience up again!" Finn said as both he and Colin visibly convulsed at the memory.

"You mean the time that Honor smashed both of your faces into the ground when you ripped her favourite doll's head off and replaced it with an alien head?" I inquired with my voice dry.

Both my friends scowled in reply as I inconspicuously led them out of the hospital doors, and into Finn's Escalade.

"And in my opinion, it is in your best interest to leave Honor alone right now. I'll call you if there's any news."

"Alright," Colin replied, climbing into the passenger seat. "C'mon, Finn, let's go call the girls and go out."

"Okay mate, but if you need anything, just call us."

"I know guys, and I appreciate it. I'll call you later."

Finn nodded and slid his sunglasses onto his face, carefully pulling his car out of the parking lot.

I smiled as I watched their car pull away, realising how lucky I was to have them as friends. My smile soon fell off my face as I remembered my grandfather and the responsibility that was waiting to fall on my shoulders. 'It was time to get to work.'

When I returned to my grandfather's room, I had already begun to make calls; trying my best to fill both mine, and the old man's shoes, while my father was mysteriously absent. Running away was more like it. Mitchum never could deal with emotional problems and he always flew at the first inkling. Most likely, a 'problem' had sprung up in Tokyo or Australia that he had to deal with personally.

'Coward.'

It was this thought that had me even more determined to make sure we all pulled through this. I made the important calls, a confirmation to the Mr. McCrae to be ready with Grandpa's Will, telephone calls to all the relations, and a cursory call to Montage to inform mother to book herself more days in at the spa, if she didn't wish to be with her family in their time of need.

'Ridiculous,' I thought to myself, 'this is the reality of the Huntzberger family—renowned ice queen and shrewd business mogul, afraid of confrontation and emotion, what does that say about me?'

"Hey."

The word pulled me out of my introspection and I looked up into the unforgettable, azurite eyes that had been haunting me ever since our first meeting.

"Hey Ace," I replied.

"How are you doing, Logan? Is there anything I can do for you?" She asked, a concerned look crossing her face.

"No more than you've already done. You've been a huge help, to both Honor and me. I couldn't ask for anything else."

"I was more than happy to help. It was the least I could do for a friend in need," she said blushing.

"You've gone above and beyond the call of friendship, Ace, thank you."

I stared at her face, wishing that I could tell this girl all of my problems, fears, and have her fix them for me, but why would she want to? She was neither my girlfriend, nor a family member, and I couldn't afford to let someone into my heart only to have them rip it out, that would just be too much for me to handle.

'Screw it,' I thought to myself, 'I'm done playing it safe.' For once in my life, I was going to take a real risk and face reality, taking on confrontation and emotion in one go.

With that decision, I stood up and stepped closer to the girl that was quickly becoming the centre of my universe. Cupping her chin in my hand, I softly pressed my lips to hers, conveying all my emotions into this one kiss. The ones I had been repressing for her ever since our first meeting, and the ones filled with pain and loss that I had experienced ever since I had received the news of my Grandfather's accident.

When we broke apart, I looked her in the eye to gauge her reaction. Which I'll admit looked a little confused.

"Thank you?" she said, timidly, before doing the one thing I had hoped she wouldn't do. The one thing that Gilmores do best.

As I watched her run out of the ward, I felt my heart crumble. The one girl I had come to rely on, gone. 'And it's your own damn fault,' I thought angrily to myself.

'It's my own damn fault.'

For the next two days, I sat constantly by my grandfather's bedside, leaving only to use the facilities, and to deal with any work problems that cropped up. While I sat next to the old man, I relieved all of my problems.

I talked to him for hours, telling him of my issues with Mitchum, and the office in London. How I had made friends, the happenings of Finn and Colin. And most importantly, my feelings for Rory.

I sighed, realising how stupid I was. "You're the only person that has been there for me through all of my life, you're barely here, and I'm burdening you with my troubles? God, what kind of grandson am I"

"The best kind," a quiet voice rasped.

My eyes shot up to the bedside. "Grandpa!" I cried. "I—"

He quieted me with a twitch of his hand. "I love you, my boy, and if this girl doesn't see you for who you really are, and appreciate you, then she doesn't deserve you. But if you really love her, don't give up on her. However, you've already made your intentions known and you have to let her come to you. Never give up, Logan. I have always believed in you and your sister and I love you both. Let your sister know that I love her, and I'm sorry that I'm not able to say goodbye myself."

"No, grandpa, you have to say goodbye yourself," I whispered, hoarsely, tears running silently down my cheeks. "We can't do this without you. You have to get better."

"No, Logan, I am at the end of my life. Say goodbye to everyone for me, and remember to seize the day. Never let anyone take that from you. I love you, my son."

With that, Elias Huntzberger's eyes slowly shut and I knew without a doubt that he had passed into his eternal rest.

A moment later I woke with a start.

It was only a dream...

But as I looked over to the old man lying on the narrow hospital bed; I knew without a doubt that the final outcome was the same as I had dreamed. Elias Huntzberger was dead.