Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews – I'm hoping this will turn out to be a fairly decent sized fic that I'll spread out in my writing since I haven't done that in a long time. I haven't done a lot of writing at all recently, besides essays! Haha Anyway thanks for reading and reviewing, I'm a newbie to the Yu Yu Hakusho world of writing, but a longtime fan of the show.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. Rated M for language and sexuality.
"Kaido?"
"Hai."
"Keshiyama?"
"Hai."
"Kuwabara?"
The sky was incredibly blue with just a few clouds rolling by. The sun streamed in through the window and splashed upon the teenager's face. The pleasant feeling was lost upon Kuwabara, though, his mind stuck elsewhere.
Here's a one way ticket for you straight to hell, you bastard!
Images of Hiei's fiery rage, Kurama's cold and calculated hatred and his own feelings of absolute despair swept into him, with no sign of ever leaving. Kuwabara allowed a tiny sigh to be released. The energy of their anger and hate was so enormous that he felt as though it were burned into his skin, his mind and soul. No amount of sunshine and blue sky was going to make him forget what happened in that cave. Why can't I get over this bullshit..
"Kuwabara?"
He looked up with a growl, "I'm here! Geez.."
The names continued to be droned out and the teenaged thug sat back in his chair. This is what I'm supposed to be doing, going to school like a normal kid. But I'm not a normal kid.. not anymore. Was I ever? Were any of us normal to begin with before all of this happened?
"Urameshi?"
All eyes shifted to the empty desk. Kuwabara grimaced. He hasn't shown up to school at all since we got back. Not that this is any different from before cuz he never came to school anyway.. But this was different somehow, Kuwabara felt. It was almost as though.. I miss him, he realized with some surprise. He missed the "normal" days, the ones he reminisced over during the fight between Yusuke and Sensui.
He imagined how it would be if Yusuke were sitting there. He'd be making obscene gestures, sticking out his tongue, snickering under his breath at the stupidity of their teacher. Keiko would be reprimanding him for it, but unable to hide her giggles. Yusuke would look at him and throw a paper airplane with some sort of rude drawing of the teacher. Kuwabara almost chuckled to himself at the memory of the last time that happened.
The red-head would look up and see Yusuke's dark coffee-colored eyes with that wild look in them, that usual smug grin on his lips and strong jaw, that soft, devilish laugh always on his tongue..
The whole world's probably screwed. Who cares? I will know one thing though, I'll know the winner of this fight.
Kuwabara came back to reality, knowing he was staring at an empty desk with an empty chair. Perhaps.. what are you feeling is more than friendship? More than friendship, what did that even mean?
He cursed silently.
Urameshi! Get out of the way!
His blank reflection stared back at him in the mirror.
Yusuke washed his hands in the bathroom sink, and thread his fingers through his hair. It feels weird short now, as if it doesn't suit me anymore. Nothing does. The boy frowned with a small defiant pout. It had been a few days since his run in with Kuwabara and he hadn't seen him since.
He looked down. This has only gotten worse and worse and there's nothing I can do about it. There was an aggression deep inside of him that was never fulfilled through all of his fighting. It could never be quenched of its thirst for the fight, its thirst to run..
"Yusuke, I wanna shower.."
"Geez, Mom, I've only been in here for two damn minutes!" Yusuke pushed the door open and trudged past his half-drunk mother and over to his room, slamming the door behind him. He threw himself on his bed, looking up at the window. "There's no fucking point in being here.." he muttered to himself. So why was he? That was what he couldn't decide.
He had been skipping school, avoiding his friends and his mother, even Keiko, as much as he could anyway. Yusuke had trapped himself in his thoughts, reminiscing about the recent events of the last case. What the hell happened? was the one question that kept running over and over in his mind, and he couldn't get away from it.
And then there was the issue with Kuwabara. Yusuke let out a sigh. I should probably talk to him. He'll want to question me about my motives and how demonic I am and all of that.. we never really got to talk after the case was finished with.
Not that I really want to talk to him though.. Yusuke breathed in deeply.
He had been surprised and humbled by the loyalty of his friends.. but Kuwabara is different. How do I talk to him about that? The old times are gone, that's for sure. What's to come next.. I don't know.
With a yawn, Yusuke pulled himself off the bed and out the door. "I'm going to the arcade!" he called, not expecting a reply as he walked out the front door.
"Wow, that guy beat the game in two rounds!"
"Really? No way!"
Kuwabara guffawed to himself, "I haven't lost my touch at video games!" He fiddled with the controller, soaking in the sound of kids yelling, pushing, the buttons and beeps and sounds all going off around him. It was a normal atmosphere that he missed dearly. Way better than demons screaming "Kill Yusuke!" or the sound of that cave collapsing..
Kuwabara looked down at that thought. I need to stop thinking about that, I'm a man! I can deal with a little danger now and then! I was hoping the arcade would let me relax for a little while before I went back to my studying.
The boy put the controller down. "Whatever," he grumbled, putting his hands in his pockets as he prepared to leave.
Just then, the kids around him were suddenly rather quiet and hushed. Kuwabara looked around to see what punk had just walked in the door of the arcade. Of course, he couldn't help but think to himself. It was Yusuke, dressed up in street clothes on a school day afternoon.
The half-demon spotted him immediately and with a nearly feral grin, approached him and the game Kuwabara stood in front of. "I challenge you," Yusuke drawled in a raspy voice. "To a duel.. of the minds."
There was quickly a crowd around them, and a smile began to spread across Kuwabara's face. "Just like old times," he muttered, not seeing a pained look flash in Yusuke's eyes. He picked up his controller, "Bring it on!" The crowd of teenaged boys cheered. This was a scene that hadn't happened in a long time; everybody knew the two thugs who battled each other as if it were to the death in the arcade.
Yusuke picked up the other controller and a strong wave of déjà vu hit him. The game was a simple electronic fight game with little muscled players, one of his all-time favorites. The game began and the two boys clicked their fingers upon their controllers with lightning speed as the group of boys surrounding them cheered on.
All grins, the boys battled it out; closely listening to the cheers and boo's behind them. Yusuke heard a bet made on him, and he laughed outright.
That's when a chant started, "Kill him! Kill him!" One boy started, and several of his buddies followed suit.
Yusuke was laughing until he glanced at Kuwabara. The red-head had gone stiff, rigid, and sweating. Yusuke lost his smile, a frown replacing it. "Kuwabara.." the said boy put down his controller and like a zombie, walked out of the arcade. There was a moment of silence when the crowd of boys suddenly realized what had happened.
Not wanting to deal with their anger, Yusuke ran after Kuwabara. "Hey!" the boys yelled after him, but he was already gone.
"Kuwabara! Kuwabara!" the boys weaved in and out of traffic, as Kuwabara didn't seem to be slowing down. Yusuke growled, Figures! He's gonna lead me to the stupid park where we can have a "talk". Goddamnit..
They finally reached the park, where Kuwabara slowed to a halt in front of a tree. Yusuke stopped short of it beside his friend, his anger peaked to the brim, "What the hell, Kuwabara? Making me run all over town after you! I know you want to talk, but .. what the hell!"
Kuwabara turned to him with a strange frown, as if he couldn't quite decide what he was going to say. Which was the truth, What am I doing, running like a freaking girl. Kuwabara is a man! He doesn't turn tail and hide! "I just want to talk Urameshi, you don't gotta get all upset!"
"Fine! Let's just fucking talk already and get this over with so you can stop acting so weird toward me!" Yusuke flopped down beside the tree and immediately grabbed a piece of grass to stick in his mouth. "I don't even know what the hell we gotta talk about but let's just do it."
Kuwabara looked down at his friend, "Shut up! You know what we gotta talk about!" He sat down beside the half-demon, locked eyes with him and suddenly all of his anger and confidence was drained. The pain within those chocolate eyes captured him, and Kuwabara found himself staring deeply into them, lost inside. Realization dawned on him, "Are you just gonna pretend like nothing happened? Like life can just move on without a second thought?"
Yusuke broke the trance like stare and looked up to curse the sky. "Nothing happened! Same old, same old, bad guy wants to destroy the world, we beat him, end of story."
"Nuh uh!" Kuwabara urged, leaning closer. "You died! You died and came back to life, again! What the hell, Urameshi! How is that nothing?"
"It just is!" Yusuke rebutted, but the anger within him was also dying, and he realized that all he could feel was the overwhelming sadness that had once again consumed him. I knew this was a mistake. Why did I even bother to go out looking for Kuwabara, what was I expecting beside a stupid-ass conversation like this one?
He looked at Kuwabara.
The red-head was wearing his usual blue uniform, but there was something different. He looked somehow older than before, as if the experiences now behind them had aged him faster than normal. Yusuke guiltily bit the inside of his lip. It was his fault, and he knew it, he just hated to admit it. He had hurt Kuwabara, and deeply.
But looking at him, with that determined expression, his hands clasped in tight fists in the grass beside him, his eyes so full of strength and questions at the same time, there was something.. attractive. Yusuke gulped. "..Kuwabara.." he sighed heavily, hoping the boy would misinterpret his sigh that was really more like a repressed moan.
"You died," Kuwabara repeated. His determination turned quickly to despair, "Not only that, you practically killed yourself. Again. For what?"
"I did it for you guys!" Yusuke lamely protested.
Kuwabara shook his head, "I don't know why you did it, but it wasn't just for us. And now you're just trying to pretend like it was nothing. You didn't even know you were gonna come back to life, did you?"
Yusuke's jaw opened, but no sound came out. He couldn't pull his gaze away from those heated eyes of Kuwabara.
"Did you!" Kuwabara nearly yelled. He suddenly grabbed Yusuke by the neck of his shirt and moved as though he were about to hit him. Yusuke didn't even flinch. Instead, his eyes caught sight of Kuwabara's lips, thin and red, but not unpleasant. Yusuke wondered briefly if Kuwabara had ever kissed a girl.
The red-head in question was so furious that he growled. Reaching back, his right fist caught as Kuwabara's mind realized his action. He dropped the half-demon and pushed him farther away. "How can I have a normal conversation with you, a normal arcade game with you, any kind of normal friendship with you if you won't even recognize what we've been through."
"Kuwabara, just listen to me!" Yusuke's frustration started to build up again. "What the fuck is this normal word you've been throwing around, as if our lives have ever been normal?"
That question got Kuwabara to think. Confusion and distrust were written over his face, hurting Yusuke slightly.
"We've never been normal. So let's just go back to the usual of what we always did. We don't have to have stupid gay talks like this," Yusuke grumbled. "Let's just kick it at your place and play video games, let Shizuru yell at us for being too loud but bring us snacks anyway. Why can't we just go back to that?"
Kuwabara shook his head slowly. "I don't know. It just .. doesn't feel the same anymore. Something is different."
"Yeah, I know," Yusuke admitted. He caught Kuwabara's glance, that heated look he had only seen once before. Yusuke's breath caught in his throat and the next thing he knew, they had both leaned forward so close that he could feel the other boy's breath upon his face. Yusuke's eyes fell once more on Kuwabara's lips.
What would they feel like pressed against his?
Kuwabara closed his eyes and the spell within them seemed to break.
"Shit," the half-demon cursed and pushed himself away from his friend. He quickly stood, unable to look at what he knew was a crestfallen expression on Kuwabara's face. Yusuke found his hands on his head, "I gotta go. Shit."
The teenaged red-head put up a hand, "No. I don't know why I thought talking to you would make it better, but obviously it hasn't. I gotta get some studying done." He looked guiltily at his friend, "I can't be around you right now. I don't know what it is, but I feel.. weird.."
Yusuke shook his head and opened his mouth as though to talk, but Kuwabara stood up.
"I'll see you around."
For the second time, Yusuke watched his friend walk away, but this time with even more confusion. What the hell.. is this how all of our conversations are going to end from now on? Yusuke bitterly spat out the piece of grass. Whatever.
There's been a scheme, a bigger reason for it all. We've learned!
Have we? Yusuke looked down at his hands. Maybe this is just because I don't feel like myself recently.. that must be it.
To be continued…
Author's Note: Thanks for reading, please review and let me know how you feel about it! Thank you!