Instead of another chapter, I'm gifting you with a few little 'prank scenes'. I was originally going to find a way to include all these in the story itself, or reveal it later, but none of it hints at the plot and it was already written, so what the heck. Yes, Harry gets to Hogwarts. That's one of the only things you can definitely gather from this chapter.

The red-haired boy smiled brightly at Harry, who rolled his eyes. "I'm Ron Weasley. What's your name?"

Harry made a rude gesture as an answer and thought about the Weasleys-he knew them, from when Draco listened to his father a bit more. Nowadays, Draco preferred rebellion over senseless following, something Harry attributed to his own good influence, because he was just that awesome, but he still disliked the Weasleys. Harry privately wondered why. This boy was extremely annoying, yes, but not entirely abysmal in character.

That didn't mean he had to tolerate the annoyingness, though. Harry was seriously considerinh getting up to go find someone he already knew, but that might require effort. And the Weasley boy chattered on.

And on.

And on.

"Say." The boy finally said, interrupting himself from another description of his favorite Quidditch Team, Harry hadn't even bothered to register what it had been, "I have a joke for you. But it takes rather a long time to explain."

Harry rolled his eyes, but anything was better than senseless chatter, even if it was a probably a horrible joke. He nodded.

"Alright then!" Weasley said, grinning. "It's a muggle joke, my stupid brothers pulled it on me once. Bloody brothers..." He muttered, but soon seemed to remember that he was going to tell a joke, because he started talking, still managing to smile impossibly wide.

"A man is walking through the desert leading a donkey. There's no water in sight, and he takes a swig out of his water jug. His donkey looks at him and asks, "Oh, master, can't I please have some water?" The man merely says, "Patience, jackass, patience."

He repeated this about five times before Harry got the joke. He leaned back in his seat, waiting and grinning. This was going to be fun...

~*v{o}v*~

It was almost five minutes before the monotonous droning stopped. "Look." Weasley said exasperatedly. "Aren't you going to ask what happens next?"

His grin a real smile now, Harry answered, "Patience, jackass, patience." Ron looked completely flabbergasted at being outdone at his own joke, and Harry took that opportunity to flee and find someone who had actual conversation skills.

Harry had somehow managed to convince almost all of the Gryffindor* second years to play poker, after explaining the rules to the ones who had never played. Even Hermione had finally huffed and left her Transfiguration notes, as Ron wouldn't stop bugging her.

They weren't actually betting anything, as most people didn't keep money on them at Hogwarts until third year, as there was no chance to buy anything. Until Harry said, "I bet my fifth child."

There were a few snorts from around the table, and Dean, a muggle-born Harry hadn't had many conversations with, said, "Think you'd manage to find someone who'd have kids with you?" It was his turn next, though, as he was one of the few in the gathering that had an actual understanding of poker, and he shrugged, saying, "I bet my third puppy."

Harry gasped, faking distress. "Do you plan to do it with a dog, then, Dean?" A few people giggled. Dean answered, smirking, "Maybe." Harry grinned. He liked that guy.

Hermione was next. She'd insisted on being first as soon as she'd agreed to play, bossily explaining that she knew the rules, but Harry had given her an icy glare and she had wisely shut up. She was third to demonstrate how things were done "properly". Dean had just barely managed to squeeze in between her and Harry. Harry theorized that Dean had a crush on her, although how anyone could have a crush on Hermione he couldn't fathom. She was bossy.

"Fine." Hermione glowered. "I'll gamble nonexistent family members. I bet my sixth wife."

It was a moment before anyone realized exactly what Hermione had just said, but when they did, the room burst into giggles. "Coming out of the closet, Hermione?" Harry snorted. Hermione, for her part, was blushing furiously. "I didn't..I.I meant..."

But it was too late. Hermione Granger had officially parted with her dignity.

It had taken months to plan this particular prank.

First, he had had to convince the Weasley twins to invent a magical equivalent of a video camera. There was simply no other way to record this inevitably priceless event. Plus, he liked the Weasley twins. Unlike Ron, who was really annoying, they were funny, and decent pranksters. His first day, they'd short-sheeted his bed.** An old and undoubtedly muggle trick, but they had added a charm that made it next to impossible to fix. Harry had, of course, responded by the old reliable trick of turning a Gryffs' hair and robes green and silver or a Slytherins' red and gold. It was rather boring, but technically advanced magic. Then again, living with two Marauders as your parental figures, you kind of pick stuff up.

He had finally gotten them to agree to inventing it, short of telling them what he was planning on doing, which went against his morals as a prankster, by telling them who the Marauders were. That had definitely depressed them a bit, learning their heroes were respectively dead, dead, apparently lost to wizarding society, and a convicted murderer, but it had also made them curious as to where Harry had gotten his info. They had also sent off a letter to Remus straight away. Harry had promised to tell them one story about his father that he'd heard from "somewhere" if they made the video camera-ish thing.

So he had his recording device, and he just had to plan when. That was, surprisingly, easy enough. The Headmaster always attended meals. Harry simply peeked into the Great Hall to make sure Dumbledore was there and then he was off to the Wizard of Oz, or possibly just the Headmaster's office. Whichever.

He had initially learned of the Headmaster's candy obsession after the Sorting, and several other visits as well as well-placed questions confirmed the password thing. Really quite careless, any Death Eater with who knew about it could guess it. Not that Harry cared. Who was he to complain if all it took to get into the Headmaster's office was seven guesses?

Also, apparently Dumbledore had already invented the 'video camera' thing. It was very convenient, really, having a view of just outside the room to be mysterious about.

~*v{o}v*~

Dumbledore returned from his delicious lunch slightly concerned. Harry had not been at the meal, which had never been a good thing, in his experiences so far with that particular youth.

Especially when, just outside his office, he heard a serene voice greeting him, "Come in, Headmaster."

Albus hurriedly did just that, worried for his state of mind if he did otherwise. Among other things.

He was greeted by one Harry Potter with a peculiar grin on his face and a twinkle in his eyes. He was almost drowning in the large chair he was sitting in, which just happened to be behind one Albus Dumbledore's desk. Which had a large glass bowl sitting on it.

"Lemon drop?"

*By the way, this doesn't necessarily mean Harry's a Gryff. Maybe he just likes having poker games with them. So NYAH. Don't make assumptions.

**I'm pretty sure this involves making it hard to get into your bed. I'm really horrible at thinking up pranks, all the 'pranks' on this page actually happened to someone I knew. Except for the last one. I'm pretty sure I'm the first one to use that, and it definitely didn't happen to someone I knew.

If I get any more ideas, and sufficient response, I might post another chapter like this sometime. It depends, really...