Oh my gosh this update took 3 weeks... well i have excuses :) first my computer was screwed then cross country started then school started and besides me having a life my beta does also so he it is finally...chapter 5.

Thanks to everyone who reviwed last chapter...someone brought a good point to my attention so ill clear it up. When i was writing this i forgot Shelby was a surrogate so for this story were going to pretend she wasnt a surrogate and gave Rachel up for adoption. Thanks whoever informed me.

I hope to never take 3 weeks to update again and if it get lots of reviews i can guarantee it wont take that long so please please review and i will make sure to update. Happy reading!

Chapter Five

Quinn looked at the clock next her bed and sighed. It was midnight and her husband still had not arrived home from work. Ever since their big blow out a few days earlier he had been home even less than usual. Quinn would have never started that fight if she would have known it would back fire so badly.

Lately Quinn caught herself staring off into space for minutes or hours at a time just thinking. She couldn't get the sound of Beth's sweet voice out of her head and she ached to call her daughter and hear her voice again but she was afraid it would be too much for Beth and even though Quinn didn't like it she knew Beth had to come to her, like before.

She was also preoccupied with the fact that her marriage was falling apart right in front of her eyes. She couldn't bear to see the looks on her kids' faces when she told them their dad had already left for work when she woke them up for school, especially because morning was usually the only time of day they saw her father. She understood why Joe was ignoring her, she had started the fight after all, but why did he have to take it out on his innocent kids?

She heard the door creek open and hoped it was Joe. She saw a small shadow make its way into the room and by the size she knew it wasn't her husband. She watched as the tiny blonde figure made its way towards her bed.

"Mommy, I had a nightmare," came the small, shaky voice of her daughter. Quinn patted the spot on the bed next to where she was laying and watched as her weeping daughter climbed in. Quinn wrapped her arms around her daughter's skinny frame and began to rock her, singing quietly into her ears.

Hush little baby don't say a word, mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird, and if that mockingbird don't sing, mama''s gonna buy you a diamond ring.

She watched as her daughter's eyes closed, then opened a few seconds later, trying to fight off the sleep that was taking over her body. "Why don't you go back to sleep baby?" she asked her daughter.

"If I go back to sleep the monsters will come back and they will get me because daddy's not here to protect me," Ella cried.

Quinn didn't know what to say. Her husband had always promised the kids that nothing would ever be able to get them when he was there, but he wasn't there, he was never there.

"Oh baby the monster's won't get you, I promise," she said gently brushing a piece of blonde hair out of Ella's eye. Quinn loved that Ella had her hair, but that was about the only thing her daughter had inherited from her other than her tiny frame. She had her father's blue eyes and oval-shaped head, his tanner skin and rounded chin. She silently wondered what features of hers Beth had. Does she even look like me at all or does she look more like Puck, Quinn couldn't help but wonder.

She continued to rock her daughter until sleep finally overcame her tiny body. Quinn gently laid her in the bed next to her, careful not to wake her up. She hated seeing her daughter this way and knew that if things between her and Joe didn't improve soon it would just get worse. She knew what it felt like to be abandoned by parents, to feel like they didn't love you and she promised herself her kids would never suffer through the same pain she suffered through. She had to talk to Joe and fix everything.

When Quinn woke up the next morning she got the kids ready for school, and as usual her husband was not there. She spent the rest of the day planning the romantic night she wanted to have with her husband. She called the teenage girl across the street to come over and babysit so she could surprise Joe at work with his favorite meal, steak with a baked potato and green beans.

She cooked the special dinner while her kids were at school, then went to pick them up. She fed them and helped them with their homework before the sitter came over.

Quinn changed into her best outfit, wearing her sexiest lingerie underneath. She knew her husband always had a fantasy of doing it at work and until now Quinn had refused. She knew it would help him accept her apology.

Quinn gave her kids a kiss on the cheek, said thanks to Lauren, the babysitter, and grabbed the prepared meal before making her way out of her large house and into her BMW. It only took about fifteen minutes to drive to Joe's office. Once she was inside the parking lot she took a deep breath, praying to God that her husband accepted her apology and would come home.

When she got to his office she noticed his receptionist wasn't at her desk but Quinn just figured she had already gone home for the night, it was eight o'clock after all and most people didn't work as late as her husband.

Quinn quietly knocked on her husband's door and continued to open it without waiting for a response.

"Hey babe it's…" Quinn suddenly lost the ability to speak when she saw the scene in front of her. Her husband was lying on his desk, half naked, his receptionist straddling him wearing just her bra and panties.

Quinn stood where she was, momentarily paralyzed. She suddenly had the urge to tackle the girl on top of her husband and pound her face into the wall. She fought the urge as she turned around and slammed the door. She ran towards the elevator as big, hot tears rolled down her face. How could she have been so stupid? Of course there was another reason her husband was always at work. How could she have been so naiive to think that he was actually working during those late nights at the office? Suddenly she heard the sound of the door opened and her husband appeared in the hallway. She pressed the down button for the elevator over and over again hoping it would make the elevator go faster, but knowing it wouldn't.

"Quinn!" he yelled when he saw her standing by the elevators. "Quinn let me-"

"No Joseph I don't want to hear it," she said, cutting him off and holding her hand in front of her face. Finally the door to the elevator opened and Quinn stepped inside.

"Quinn," Joe repeated, his eyes filled with desperation.

"Don't even think about coming home tonight," Quinn said through gritted teeth. She watched his face fall as the doors to the elevator closed.

Once the elevator got down to the ground floor Quinn quickly ran out of the building and to her car. It wasn't until she was in the safety and comfort of her own car that she let herself break down. She cried big, loud sobs that shook her whole entire body. She cried until she had trouble breathing. She wished more than anything she had someone to go to. She needed a shoulder to cry on and someone to tell her everything was going to be fine. She had never really made friends here and she hadn't talked to any of her other friends in fourteen years.

Quinn cried hysterically for another hour before she was finally able to calm down. She took some water from a water bottle she had and splashed it on her face, hoping it would help the redness and swelling in her eyes. Although she was pretty sure her kids would be asleep by now, she couldn't be sure and she didn't want to be bombarded with questions.

By the time Quinn got home she was exhausted. She paid and thanked the sitter before making her way up to her bedroom. She collapsed into the warmth of her bed. She looked over at her nightstand where a picture of her and Joe on their wedding day sat. Quinn couldn't bare the sight of her husband's face any longer. She picked up the picture frame and threw it at the wall as hard as she could, which only started a fresh batch of tears.

She was so angry at herself for being so stupid. She had promised herself years ago she was not going to end up like her parents. She didn't want their loveless marriage. She didn't want to be miserable like her mother had been for years. Now here she was, in the exact same situation her mother had been in fifteen years ago.

Quinn cried on her bed for hours. She cried for herself and she cried for her kids. How could she ever tell them about this? Would they even understand they are so young? After hours of crying, more silent this time so she wouldn't wake the kids, she finally fell asleep.

X-X-X-X-X

The next day Beth was in geometry, trying but failing, to concentrate. There was a knock on the door and her teacher Mr. Meager, went to open it. Someone handed him a note, which he read.

"Beth Corcoran," he teacher said. "Please come up here."

Beth gathered her books and stood up, curious as to what was going on. Mr. Meager handed her the note. Apparently she was to go visit the guidance counselor, Mrs. Schuster, formerly Ms. Pillsbury.

Mr. Meager grabbed a paper on the top of a big stack and handed one to Beth. "Here's the homework," he said.

"Okay thanks," Beth said before walking out the door, feeling awkward because she knew everyone in the class was staring at her.

Mrs. Schuster's office is all the way on the other side of the school so it took Beth about three minutes to arrive. She knocked on the door and was met by a faint "come in" by the counselor. She opened the door and awkwardly stepped into the office.

"Hello Beth," Emma said smiling at the teenage girl entering her office. "Please take a seat," she pointed to a chair sitting in front of her desk. Beth obeyed and took her seat.

"Why am I here?" Beth wondered. She didn't mean for it to come out bratty but it did.

"I like to check up on my students every once in awhile, just to see how they are doing," Emma smiled. Beth had never met someone who smiled so much in her life and to be honest it kind of freaked her out.

"Mr. Schuster told you about my birth parents didn't he?" Beth sighed. She probably should've figured he would, she was his wife after all.

Emma nodded. "He just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Beth smiled. She wasn't mad at Mr. Schuster; it's not like she told him not to tell anyone and she probably needed to talk to Mrs. Schuster anyway. She hadn't really been opening up to anyone lately and maybe it would help if it was someone she knew wouldn't judge her.

"You won't repeat anything I say in here right?" Beth almost whispered.

"There are a few exceptions such as abuse," Emma answered and Beth found herself shuddering at the word. Emma didn't seem to notice as she continued, "but other than that everything you say is between you and me only."

Beth sat in her chair for a moment, seriously considering whether or not she wanted to tell Mrs. Schuster about Jim. She knew if she told Mrs. Schuster would have to tell but maybe that wouldn't be so bad; it would keep her from having to tell everyone herself. Once again Beth tried to get the words out but they wouldn't come. It was like she was physically incapable of saying them. Instead she just went with her original plan. "I called my birth mom," Beth said. "And I talked to her on the phone."

"Wow that was a big step," Emma said surprised. "How did she react when she knew it was you?"

"She cried at first, I guess she was both shocked and happy to hear my voice. I told her about my life and Mr. Schuster and then she told me she thinks about me all the time," Beth couldn't help but have a big smile plastered across her face when she said this; her mom really did care about her. "She had to go very suddenly though," Beth lied," and I didn't get a chance to say good-bye."

Emma nodded. "And how did you feel while talking to her?"

Beth shrugged. "I guess I felt really excited but really nervous at the same time. I was scared at first she wouldn't want to talk to me and when she did I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life."

Emma smiled at her. "That's really good, Beth. I've worked with many kids who have been going through the same thing and you have been taking this so well."

"I think I'd like to meet her some day," Beth said. "And maybe my father too. Even if it's only one time I'd really like to see them and get to know them more; to fill my curiosity I guess."

"That's understandable," Emma answered. "There's a lot of curiosity that comes with being adopted. You want to know you're identity and where you came from."

Beth nodded. "That's exactly it. I don't know if I'm ready to meet them right now but I think I will be in a few years."

"Whenever you're ready I'm sure your parents will be happy to meet you," Emma said.

The bell rang and Beth decided she better leave, not wanting to miss another class. "Thanks for everything Mrs. Schuster," Beth said as she slung her back pack over her shoulders. The counselor gave her one more smile before Beth opened the door and into the sea of teenagers.

X-X-X-X-X

That night Shelby was working late, her play only had a week left until opening night which meant she wouldn't be home much, and Beth was forced to eat dinner alone with Jim. They ate dinner together every night as a family and Jim always insisted they do it even when her mom was at rehearsal. Beth knew better than to fight him on it so she sat at the table, pushing around the mashed potatoes on her plate with her fork.

"You haven't eaten much," Jim commented as he watched his step-daughter play with her food.

"Yea well I haven't really had much of an appetite since last weekend," she mumbled. That was enough for Jim to leave the subject alone and the two went back to their usual silence.

After about ten more minutes Beth had only eaten about two more bites. She was about to stand up and excuse herself when Jim spoke again. "I got you something when I was at Target today," he said as he walked into the kitchen and returned with a wrapped box. "I saw this and I knew you wanted one and it was on sale so I bought it."

Beth rolled her eyes. "You can't buy my forgiveness Jim. You know what you did and buying me gifts every month after it happens isn't going to change anything." Beth watched as his smile turned downwards and anger formed in his eyes.

"Fine you ungrateful bitch!" he said slamming the present on the ground in anger; Beth flinched and began to back away towards the hall. "I try to do something nice for you and all you do is complain!" He threw his hands into the air in frustration. Beth continued to walk backwards until she was in the hall. She turned around and bolted to her room and locked the door once she was finally inside. She heard Jim's footsteps go down the hall and she held her breath. Luckily they turned right, instead of left, which meant he was going into his own room. Beth let out her breath in relief and collapsed onto the bed.

It took her a second to realize she was shaking. That was the first time she had really stood up to Jim, usually she just accepted his gift with a smile and thank you, but today something inside her snapped and she couldn't do it anymore. She can't sit around and pretend everything's okay when it's clearly not.

Before Beth knew it she was crying. She thought back to her session with Emma today and talking about her birth parents. She told Emma she wasn't ready to meet them but the truth was she had never been more ready in her life. She needed to get out of this toxic house; she needed a change of scenery. Beth thought about it long and hard before deciding she was going to go to Cincinnati in two weekends, which was her fall break, and she was going to visit her mom. Beth knew if there was one person she would be able to tell her secret about Jim to it would be Quinn. Even though she had never really met the woman she somehow felt safe just by the sound of her voice. So it was settled. In two weekends Beth was going to see her birth mom and potentially tell her the complete truth.