"We have to do WHAT?" Elena glared at the red-head as he did the booty dance in the middle of their office, rubbing against her desk. "God, you're SICK!" She flung her three-hole-puncher at him, barely missing his head. It broke against the wall, leaving a dent. Reno cackled and bounced around, rubbing his chest.

"Leny, you just WISH you could give into your desires... It's all into your mind. You can give in...it's okay. I know you want a piece of this!" His dance was cut short as she flung a cup of coffee at him, burning herself, though most of it landed on his bare chest. What few hairs he had were most certainly gone by the time he got finished shrieking and hopping around, rubbing the area. "That was just UNCALLED for."

"Nasty bastard. Be damned if I do your paperwork while you're laying up in an office playing on a computer and flirting with a course instructor."

"Boss's orders, Elena," Reno crowed, narrowing those glowing sea-green eyes. "Imagine what Tseng would say if you didn't follow our boss's orders. I daresay he wouldn't wanna take you out tonight. But wait...he doesn't wanna do that anyway, does he?" Reno squeaked and started running when she took her shoe off and came after him.

In a nearby office, Tseng ignored the red-head's screams for mercy and the angry-sounding whack of a shoe against skin. "He's putting you through a course?"

"That's what he said, boss," said Rude. "Beats me why." Rufus had confiscated his favorite pair of sunglasses, but of course he always had a backup, which he was currently wearing. He peered at Tseng over them. "I think he's mad about something." His voice rose a few notches. He had to talk over the now desperate shrieks as Elena took her fury out on Reno. It sounded as if she'd thrown him against a wall or either straight through it. "I think he's pissed off at Reno."

"Reno's Reno. He gets his work done and does the dirty work on the side." Tseng paused and listened as Reno's screams stopped. Placing a hand to his face, he sighed. "Go see if the fool is dead." This can't be good for my blood pressure. Tseng sat down at his desk and picked up the paper he'd received in his mailbox that morning. Rude came back when he was satisfied Reno was still breathing and sat down opposite Tseng in a chair nearby. "Your instructor's name is Mrs. Grunt."

Rude frowned. "Mrs. Grunt? I don't like the way that sounds."

"Sounds like you're in for a piece of trouble. Whatever you two do, don't give the lady a heart attack if she's old. And if she's young, don't let Reno harass her. Or at least, keep him from incriminating himself or pissing Rufus off. The last thing we need right now is a cut to our department, and knowing that sadistic little bastard, he probably knows this Mrs. Grunt." Tseng put the paper down. "Am I clear? No heart-attacking, and no incriminating acts. Be two good Turks, hear?"

Rude snorted. "Yes mommy. Want me to change Reno's diapers while I'm at it?"

Tseng edged back and rolled his chair to peek out of the door at Reno's prone figure on the floor. "You might have to if she wrung his neck. Just remember, no alcohol either. We want to make a good impression. Good impression means good money, Rude. Keep him from screwing up, will you?"

"You know that's impossible."

"Try to keep him from killing the instructor."

"That might be impossible."

"Make it possible, for my sake?" Tseng rubbed his temples, feeling a headache starting right between his ears. "For my sanity?"

"You can save your sanity all you want," Rude replied. "Might as well put it in a lock box and swallow the key because if you don't, Reno'll take what you have left and eat it." He heard Reno stir and call Elena something that pertained to her body-size.

"Indeed, but I think he might find the key and rob me. Just give me a katana and let me end myself..." The squawking started again very promptly, the thwacking of hard leather against soft skin and clothing making Tseng smile.

Later that morning...

"Hello dearies." Rude and Reno stared, slack-jawed at the little old lady that hobbled around in front of the computer consoles. Yellow skin gave the already haggard-looking woman an ancient look. Gray hair was pulled up into a tight ball right on top of her head. Large plastic glasses were settled on her nose, each lens around the size and shape of the bottom of a large coke bottle. Reno caught a case of the giggles as she grinned at him and revealed she had no teeth in. As she blinked at the two of them, Rude staring wordlessly from his computer chair, and Reno cackling beside him; Rude thought she really looked like an over-sized mosquito. "I am Mrs. Fiona Grunt." That sent Reno into a renewed cackling-spree. "And I am your instructor today, dearies." She eyed Reno, raising a brow from behind the coke-bottles. "May I ask you what is so funny, young man?"

Poor Reno couldn't reply, especially after he looked up at her. He nearly peed his pants as he tried to pick himself up so that they could start. Rude grinned. "Have to ignore him. He's on them wacky mushrooms that grow in the old slums. Addict, really. Gotta watch him when he starts twitching. Dangerous little bastard."

The woman gasped and stared at Rude. "What did you just say?"

"What?" Rude asked. He wondered if she was hard of hearing, but plastered a grin on his face.

Grunt blinked and shifted a little closer. "Huh?"

"What?"

"HUH?!"

"WHAT?!"

"OH! I said what did you say?"

"..." Rude blinked innocently behind his sunglasses. "... Huh?" Reno howled again, peed his pants, and screamed in laughter some more. Rude really did wonder if he was on something that morning, but just shook his head. It was going to be interesting, that course. That was, if they got through it.