Okay, now it's dream time! I think…

Authoress: Good…whatever it is. Morning, evening, night; whatever. Now it is finally time for –stops mid-sentence because she has just noticed Gaspard Paradizo- How did you get in here?

Gaspard Paradizo: -shrugs- I don't know.

Authoress: Well, you'll be a distraction to my actors; so I'd appreciate it if you left.

Gaspard Paradizo: Where's the door?

Minerva: Don't go, Daddy!

Authoress: -points to the door- It's right there.

Gaspard Paradizo: I'll see you later, Minnie.

Artemis and Anna- Maria: -collapse to the floor, giggling-

Authoress: -blinks- Minnie?

Minerva: -reddens- Daddy, we agreed you wouldn't call me that anymore!

Gaspard Paradizo: Sorry, honey; I forgot. –walks into the wall-

Authoress: That wasn't supposed to happen.

Anna-Maria: -whispers to the Authoress- Um…Heera, that door was just painted-on; as a decoy. The real door is over there. –points to the real door-

Authoress: That's odd. –turns to Gaspard, who is rubbing his head- Mr. Paradizo, the door you seek is actually on the other side of the room. –gestures to the real door-

Gaspard Paradizo: -still rubbing his head- Well, that's good to know. Good-bye.

Mulch: -trips Gaspard- Oops! –grins-

Gaspard Paradizo: -stumbles through the door, which, fortunately for him, was open- Bye, pumpkin!

Minerva: Daddy! We agreed that there would be no more 'pumpkin'!

Gaspard Paradizo: -voice echoing from far away- Sorry!

Authoress: -shakes her head, frowning slightly- Okay, if any further distractions –

Mulch: -plants whoopee cushion on the couch-

Artemis: -sits on the couch-

Whoopee Cushion: Pubbbh!!!!

Readers: -start laughing-

Anna-Maria: Was that what I think it was?

Artemis: -looks embarrassed- I was not passing wind; it was –
Authoress: -glares at the tunneling dwarf- Mulch! Enough with the distractions; we need to get this act going!

Mulch: Hey, it was funny!

Artemis: -stands up and backs away from the couch a little- Yes, humorous for you; how would you feel if you sat on a whoopee cushion?

Mulch: Like eating the person who put it under my bum.

Artemis: So?

Mulch: Your teeth aren't the right type for eating me.

Authoress, Artemis, and Anna-Maria: -exhale in a depressed way because they were expecting something more serious-

Anna-Maria: -thumps the back of Mulch's head-

Mulch: Hey!

Authoress: -clears her throat to get their attention- Okay, time for A Midsummer Night's Dream!

Minerva: -opens her mouth to speak-

Authoress: No, Minerva; we are NOT changing the script!

Minerva: Humph!

Authoress: Okay, Demetria, Lysandra, Hermio, and Helenus; on the stage now!

Artemis and Anna-Maria: What stage?

Stage: -appears-

Authoress: That one.

Minerva/Demetria: -gets on the stage, followed by Lysandra, Helenus, and Hermio-

Authoress: Alright, Minerv – I mean, Demetria; your line first.

Minerva/Demetria: Oh Hermio, Hermio; where art thou Hermio?

Authoress: Cut! Demetria, that's not A Midsummer Night's Dream; it's Romeo and Juliet!

Minerva/Demetria: -blinks- The fault, dear Hermio, lies not in our stars…

Authoress: The Tragedy of Julius Caesar! Somebody get Minerva a script!

Random Reader: -rushes to the stage with a script and hands it to Minerva- Listen, Anna-Maria; if you're free on Saturday –

Artemis: -growls-

Random Reader: Meep. –runs off of the stage-

Minerva/Demetria: Oh, Hermio; why dost thou spurn the one who loves you so?

Artemis/Hermio: Thou mayst love me; but my love stands with Lysandra.

Anna-Maria/Lysandra: -walks over to them- But despair not, fair Demetria; the noble Helenus loves thee so.

Minerva/Demetria: Hermio, thy heart may be with the cunning Lysandra; but the heart of Helenus lies not with me. Spurn thy Lysandra, and you shall possess all the happiness of the world with me; thy Demetria.

Anna-Maria: -breaks out of character- Excuse me? Cunning? I am not sly in the least!

Authoress: It's in the script, Anna-Maria. Demetria is just babbling because she wants Hermio to love her instead of Lysandra.

Minerva/Demetria: -breaks out of character- Hey!

Authoress: Shut up, Demetria! Just read your lines!

Artemis/Hermio: Demetria, thou art mad. Should Hermio spurn his Lysandra; who he loves so and returns his affection?

Anna-Maria: -out of character- Where's Mulch – or Helenus?

Authoress: Wasn't he on the stage five minutes ago?

Artemis/Hermio: -out of character- Yes, but he could be anywhere by now.

Authoress: -stands up and walks over to the mini-fridge in the corner of the room- No, not anywhere. –pulls Mulch out from behind the fridge by the ear- Get on that stage and act, Mulch!

Mulch/Helenus: -grumbles but gets on the stage- Fair Demetria, spurn me not; and I shall be a happy man. -out of character- What? I'm not even a man, I'm a dwarf!

Authoress: -growls loudly- Mulch, stick to the script or I'll tear you to shreds and feed you to a lion!

Minerva/Demetria: Oh, who is Demetria to refuse thy love? But Helenus, I love thee not. And – what the heck is this gibberish? -reads from the script- 'Ek main hoon, ek tu hain. Chaahatein hain, aarzoo hain'?

Authoress: -snatches the script from Minerva- Oops! Those are lyrics from a Hindi song; how did they get in your script?

Random Reader: -raises his hand- Sorry, I think that's my fault.

Artemis: -raises an eyebrow- 'There is one me, there is one you. There are desires, there are wishes'?

Anna-Maria: Sounds like a nice song. -note the sarcasm-

Authoress: It's actually pretty modern, you know! Just keep acting!

Minerva: -jumps on Artemis- I'd rather not!

Anna-Maria: -drags Minerva off of Artemis- Me neither Minerva; I'd rather give you a nice, hard punch on the jaw!

Artemis: -picks himself up off of the floor- And put some clown make-up on her!

Authoress: -shudders involuntarily- Clowns and genii should never be in the same room.

Anna-Maria: I heard that Minerva's not really a genius; she cheated on her I.Q. test.

Minerva: I did no such thing!

Authoress: What? No, I was referring to Artemis, you, and me.

Artemis: -frowns- You're a genius?

Authoress: Maybe, maybe not. I don't like to broadcast it much.

Artemis: You don't act like a genius.

Mulch: -attaches himself to the mini-fridge while no one else is looking-

Authoress: Oh, that's because I'm the creative half. I just come up with the stories and write them. You're thinking of the intelligent half – she writes the reviews and did our profile.

Anna-Maria: -sits on Minerva to prevent her from jumping on Artemis again- Intelligent half?

Intelligent Half of the Authoress: -appears- That would be me.

Artemis and Anna-Maria: This is weird.

Intelligent Half: -shrugs- Try living with her. -gestures to the Authoress- Her perkiness is highly irritating.

Authoress: -frowns- You only think I'm irritating because you're too serious!

Intelligent Half: I like being serious.

Authoress: Look at her! She's not even cracking a smile! No fifteen year-old is this serious!

Intelligent Half: I am not the typical adolescent teenager.

Artemis: As I said beforehand, this is extremely odd.

Authoress: I may be too perky, but at least people of my age group can understand what I'm saying!

Intelligent Half: It is through no fault of mine that those of our age group find my choice of diction too intricate to comprehend.

Readers: -look confused- What?

Anna-Maria: It's not her fault other teens have a hard time understanding what she says.

Readers: Oh. Stop using big words!

Intelligent Half: -looks amused, in a serious way- I hear that quite a lot, usually from my lab partner.

Authoress: You're such a party pooper!

Intelligent Half: I do not find parties enjoyable.

Authoress: You don't find anything enjoyable!

Intelligent Half: I find algebra quite entertaining.

Readers: -whisper to Artemis- She's crazy.

Artemis: I think they're both crazy.

Authoress and Intelligent Half: -both look thoughtful- Well, Father did say I was weird.

Intelligent Half: Although personally, I prefer the term 'unusual'.

Anna-Maria, Artemis, and Minerva: -blink-

Anna-Maria: -turns to the readers- Maybe you all should come back next time.

Artemis: -nods- Yes, in the meantime; we'll try to…occupy the Authoress's intelligent half with something. Maybe I'll just give her a complicated algebra problem to solve.

Minerva: That should do the trick. –jumps- Oh, Arty, you're so smart!

Anna-Maria: -catches Minerva's collar, preventing her from landing on Artemis- Not this time, Minerva.

Minerva: Rats!

Artemis: Oh, good idea! We can put rats down her dress!

Minerva: -looks frightened- What?! No!

Anna-Maria and Artemis: -move towards her with cages of rats in their hands and grins on their faces-

The Authoress and her Intelligent Half: -continue their verbal argument, which the Intelligent Half is winning-

Mulch: Ha! I managed to open the mini-fridge!

Random Reader: I call dibs on the tuna fish and peanut butter sandwiches!

Readers: -back away from the Random Reader- We'll just come back in time for the next update. -run away as fast as they can-

Wow, that was random! But fun to write…don't forget to (please) write a review!