Yup, another chapter! Which means…more reviews! PLEASE!
Anna-Maria: -sitting and watching an Indian movie with the authoress-
Authoress: You know who Aishwarya Rai reminds me of? –passes Anna-Maria the samosas (Indian/Pakistani appetizers, like small turnovers, containing either vegetables or meat, vegetables in this case)-
Anna-Maria: -takes a samosa- No. Who?
Authoress: -leans back- Oh come on, think. Green eyes, dark brown hair, fair skin – remind you of anyone?
Anna-Maria: Hey, watch it; I've already been confused with Ashwarya once.
Minerva: -pops up- Really?
Anna-Maria: Where did you come from?
Minerva: I heard you were watching a movie so I decided to come over.
Anna-Maria: Artemis isn't here.
Minerva: Oh. Well, then, we don't have to fight!
Anna-Maria: In your dreams, blondie!
Minerva: -sits down- So, what movie are you watching?
Authoress: Dhoom 2.
Minerva: Great…but I don't know Hindi.
Authoress: Read the subtitles on the bottom.
Minerva: Uh…okay.
Artemis: -comes in- Hey, Anna-Maria, there you are!
Minerva: -squeals- Arty! –jumps on Artemis, no, wait, she missed-
Artemis: Oh, oh. –backs away and sits next to Anna-Maria- I really should get a restraining order. Hey, you're watching Dhoom 2! I heard it was a great movie; I didn't know you watched Bollywood films!
Authoress: Every Friday.
Anna-Maria: I usually
don't have time.
Minerva: HELLO! I'm still HERE!
Artemis: -takes a samosa- Shush, Minerva, I can't hear!
Authoress: Say, Artemis, doesn't Ashwarya Rai look like Anna-Maria?
Artemis: Ash has already got a look-alike, Sneha Ullal is new to Bollywood but she's practically a clone; only with younger-looking skin.
Authoress: -frowns and thinks 'I know that, but why do you?'- Yes, but look again. Doesn't Anna-Maria look like Ash?
Artemis: Now that you mention it, yes.
Anna-Maria: Oh, great! Next you'll ask me to dress up like that –points at the TV screen- and start singing 'Crazy Kiya Re' at the top of my lungs!
Authoress and Artemis: -exchange looks- Yeah, that would be terrific!
Anna-Maria: -sighs-
Minerva: -looks confused- Crazy what what?
Authoress: Crazy Kiya Re – roughly, it means something along the lines of 'Made Me Crazy' or 'Make Me Crazy'.
Minerva: Oh. Say, that's a catchy beat. –starts to dance, and then begins singing- 'Chori chori kiya re, dil yeh dil diya re! Jadoo se jadoo kiya – what?
Artemis, Authoress, Anna-Maria, and the Readers: -stare at Minerva-
Authoress: Do you have any idea what you're saying?
Minerva: No.
Random Reader: Where's my camera? I got to record this.
Anna-Maria: Why am I not surprised?
Artemis: -rubbing his forehead- I think I got a headache.
Anna-Maria: I can massage it for you.
Minerva: -jumps up and runs over quickly, knocking over Anna-Maria's chair in the process (on purpose!)- Oh, Arty, let me kiss it; I'll make it better!
Anna-Maria: -gets up and dusts herself off- Hey!
Artemis: -looks scared- No, actually, I think I'm okay now.
Minerva: No, Arty; let me kiss it!
Artemis: -backs away slowly- Please refrain from calling me that.
Minerva: Oh, you're too formal with me! –runs to jump on him-
Artemis: -runs away from Minerva-
Artemis and Minerva: -running throughout the entire room-
Anna-Maria: -chases after Minerva- Hey, goddess of wisdom! Leave Artemis alone, he's mine, remember?
Minerva: -stops and faces Anna-Maria- Since when? Artemis and I are meant for each other, each of us is named after a goddess!
Anna-Maria: So? My middle name is Venus, after the Roman goddess of love. And –
Minerva: -interrupts by gasping loudly- Your middle name is Venus? That explains how you've bewitched my Arty! You probably have a magic girdle, too!
Artemis: -accidentally runs into Minerva (or it might have been on purpose)- Your Arty?
Anna-Maria: -frowns at Minerva- We've been through this before; I did not at any time bewitch Artemis. Besides, we are made for each other.
Minerva: -looks haughty- What makes you say that?
Anna-Maria: Artemis is Irish, and I'm Italian. They both start with 'I'!
Readers: What kind of logic is that?
Authoress: -always answers rhetorical questions- Love-logic.
Artemis: -shrugs- Works for me. –mumbles- As long as I don't get stuck with Minerva.
Anna-Maria: Thank you, Artemis.
Minerva: -whining- Hey, nobody li –
Authoress: -interuppts- Shush! This is one of my favorite songs in the movie!
Artemis: -leans over the Authoress- Which one is it?
Authoress: Dhoom Again!
Minerva: What?
Authoress: That's the name of the song, 'Dhoom Again'.
Minerva: -goes google-eyed- Wait, who's that on the screen?
Authoress: Hrithik Roshan, he's one of today's most sought after Bollywood actors.
Minerva: -squeals- He is such a HOTTIE!
Artemis and Anna-Maria: -back away from Minerva-
Anna-Maria: -muttering- Something's seriously wrong with you.
Authoress: -blinks- Okay…just so you know, he's married.
Minerva: So? He can get a divorce!
Authoress: So soon after the birth of his first-born? Unlikely.
Artemis: Isn't there a highly controversial kissing-scene between him and Ashwarya Rai?
Readers: Why is it controversial?
Authoress: There are different censoring methods in India and Pakistan. Kissing-scenes in Indian movies have only recently been added to the scripts of movies. Such profanity is frowned upon; plus Hrithik is married and Ash already decided not to do kissing-scenes in any of her international movies, so it's like she's turning back on her own word.
Readers: Really?
Authoress: -glares at the Readers- I don't lie.
Readers: -look a little frightened- We'll take your word for it.
Artemis: But isn't Ashwarya engaged to Abhishek Bachchan?
Authoress: -looks at Artemis- Yes, but they were engaged in January of 2007; Dhoom 2 was released in 2006, plus I hear that that relationship was a no-go.
Anna-Maria: But Abhishek already broke off one relationship when his engagement to Karisma Kapoor went kaput!
Artemis: -looks at Anna-Maria- 'Went kaput'? I think you've been in the LEP for too long, Anna-Maria Venus Root.
Anna-Maria: What's with the full name?
Artemis: I don't know, but it has a nice ring to it; don't you think?
Minerva: -blinks- They lost me on the kissing-scene thing.
Readers: We got lost on the 'went kaput' thing.
Random Reader: Anna-Maria, will you marry me?
Anna-Maria: -blinks at the Random Reader- Who the heck are you?
Artemis: -growls and lunges for the Random Reader's throat- I've warned you already, stay away from Anna-Maria!
Random Reader: -screams- I didn't know it was a crime to love!
Anna-Maria: I don't know whether to be flattered or offended.
Authoress: -watches the fight with unblinking eyes- Be flattered, trust me.
Anna-Maria: Okay…what were we talking about?
Minerva: Someone named Abhichic Batchcan.
Authoress and Anna-Maria: -stare at Minerva-
Authoress: Just stop talking, please!
Minerva: -looks offended- Humph.
Anna-Maria: Yeah, well, Abhishek Bachchan has had two broken relationships in the past five years! Poor guy.
Authoress: I think Rani Mukerji should marry him, unlike Ash, she can actually act and look pretty at the same time. And she's my favorite actress.
Anna-Maria: Yeah, they look good together, and Abhishek's only a year older than Rani, they're in the same age group. But Rani's too short for him, unfortunately.
Authoress: -sighs- Someone marry Abhishek!
Anna-Maria: Maybe Shilpa Shetty could marry him.
Authoress: Yeah, she is tall enough.
Anna-Maria: How tall is she?
Authoress: Five foot ten, I think.
Anna-Maria: Wow, that is tall!
Authoress: That's not what my mom said. She said, "that's not tall; that's abnormal!" Obviously she hasn't seen my descriptions of Marie.
Anna-Maria: You mean the princess that Robert tutors? Why? How tall is she?
Authoress: Well, she was six feet tall when Robert started teaching her, but after about…three months, she was the exact height as Robert, six foot three.
Anna-Maria: -falls off her chair- Holy lava-rocks!
Authoress: Uh-huh. -looks over to where Artemis and the Random Reader are- Hey, who's winning?
Random Reader: -speaking through broken teeth- Artemis.
Minerva: Good job, Arty! No, wait, he was fighting for Anna-Maria…that's a bad thing!
Anna-Maria: -shaking her head- Is that as deep as it gets with her?
Artemis: -washing his hands at the sink- I think so. But maybe she'll surprise us.
Minerva: Are you guys talking about me?
Anna-Maria: -blinks-
Artemis: You see?
Authoress: Oh, yeah, she surprised me alright!
Minerva: -totally oblivious-
Readers: Now what?
Artemis, Anna-Maria, and the Authoress: -shrug-
Minerva: -hears Dhoom Again playing in the background- Hey, that's a pretty good song! –starts singing- 'Dhoom Again, you wanna run with me on a roller coaster ride, Dhoom Again, get your heartbeat pumping' -stops because everyone is staring at her again- What?
Artemis, Anna-Maria, and the Authoress: -shake their heads- Oh no, not again!
Readers: -look awkward- We'll just be going now…
So, how was it? Can you review and tell me? I do accept anonymous reviews if some people are too lazy to log in you know.