I walked back from the pharmacy, hand in hand with Kat.

She squeezed my hand, giving me a smile. "You know this doesn't mean you're a slut, right?"

I shrugged, hating that she knew exactly what I was thinking. "I'm just dreading having to tell Moose. Because it's better I tell her instead of her finding out by herself – which she will do."

"Why would she care that much?" Kat asked, her eyebrows pulling down a little. "It's not like she'll be disappointed in you."

I shook my head, sighing. "No, it's not that. Its just up until that point I hadn't felt anything for him, and now all of sudden – you know, and Moose may think I've lied to her."

Kat shook her head, slapping me around the back of the head. "Don't be stupid. As if Moose wouldn't believe you. In fact, I'm sure she'll just be upset that it was him you lost your virginity to instead of her."

My eyes widened as I stopped walking to start beating her. "Kat!" I shouted as I slapped her arm. She laughed loudly.

"I'm kidding!" she said, then when I stood back she pulled a face as if she was lying. I picked my hand up to backhand her face and she started laughing, knowing I new that she was just joking.

"So," she said, dragging the word out and raising her eyebrows suggestively. "When are you going to talk to Brady?"

I let out a long, loud groan, pulling her too me and burying my face against her shoulder. "I wasn't planning on it. I think I'm going to avoid him for the rest of my life." I said, but even the words made me feel sick.

In fact, the whole situation was making me feel sick.

Kat patted my arm. "Aw, hon. It'll be fine!"

"Fine." I scoffed as I pulled away in enough time to see her wince.

"Well, it'll be awkward at first… but I'm sure it'll turn out okay."

"Kat! You're really not helping."

She rolled her eyes. "What do you want me to say, Zo? You should have brought Ava or Nicks, they're so much better at this stuff than I am. Why did you even ask me to help?"

I shrugged. "You have the most experience with buying the morning after pill."

She snorted. "True. - Hey! We're the only two uninnocent ones out of the group!"

"I'm going to be sick."

She laughed and rolled her eyes, shoving me.

Then with a sigh she checked her cell. "I have to go look after Macy. I'll see you later?"

"Can I come with you?"

She shook her head. "You have to go chat with Moo-moo. She's really angry last time we talked. Apparently Paul hasn't been home in a while or something."

"Ah." I said and she shrugged.

Kat put a hand on my shoulder. "You know I'm not much of a optimist, but Zo, things'll be fine. You've been through a hell of a lot worse."

I smiled sadly at her, shoving her with the top of my head and she smiled and walked in the opposite direction. "Bye!" I called and she turned and waved.

That was when I saw Paul walking down the street and I seized the opportunity while I could.

"Get off me, Zoë." He sighed, carrying on walking without even pretending to be scared. I continued trying to beat him while I was on his back.

"Never!" I shouted, slapping at his head, but he just seemed totally unaffected.

"I have to be somewhere. I've been told it's quite urgent." He said and I shrugged.

"Nothing is as urgent as my needs, Paulie-bear."

He stopped walking, pulling me off his back and holding me out in front of him, my feet dangling in the air. "You promised to never call me that again."

I grinned. "Do you promise to do what I ask?"

He stared at me, and then chucked me over his shoulder, where I then continued to hit him.

"If this is incredibly important, you will leave, yes?" he asked and hearing the tone of his voice I agreed.

"Why won't you tell Moose what's going on, Paul?" I asked softly and he let out a short, agitated breath.

"Don't start, Zoë." He said sternly. "I'm not in the mood."

"When are you ever in the mood to talk?"

He snorted. "Right you are, oh little one."

"I'm not little, you freakish giant!" I protested and he snorted.

"Again, right you are the first part. Packing on the pounds for the cold winter, are we?" he said, jostling me up and down.

"Ha ha ha, Paul! You make me piss myself with laughter." I said – sarcastically.

"You better not have, 'cause I'm dropping you."

I relaxed on his shoulder and started slapping his back repeatedly.

"Why doesn't this hurt you, bitch?" he just laughed as a response. "And why are you topless? You're really not hot, Paul. You think way too much of yourself."

He snorted. "Yes, Zoë, whatever you say. I'm sexy and you know it."

"Right you are, oh massive one." I said sarcastically then groaned in frustration, turning my hands into fists and hammering onto his back when he turned and started walking up towards a house. "No, god damn it, Paul!"

He chuckled, bouncing me up and down on his shoulder again. "You know you aren't going to be able to use force on me, right?"

"As we're on the topic, why have you decided to bulk up? Is it that gang you're in? Do you have to be a certain body type to be in or else they don't like you? That short on friends, huh?"

He let out a groan/sigh. "You're way too fucking persistent, Zoo."

"And you're way too fucking secretive, Pauline."

"You're way too fucking nosey, Zoo."

"You're way too mean, Pauline."

"You're-,"

He was cut off by a stern voice calling his name from somewhere in front, at the house I'm assuming, but I couldn't see.

"What? Is it important? Because I can get her to fuck off easily." he said and I dug my elbows into his back.

"You little hoe! That used to hurt you." I grumbled when he didn't even make a noise.

He laughed. "Sorry, Zoo, you're just way too fucking weak."

"And you're way too fucking alive for my liking."

"Zoo?" another man said and I tried to see over Paul, but I wasn't in a particularly comfortable position so I couldn't see a thing.

"Huh? Who is it?" I said as Paul came to a stop just before the house.

"What's going on?" he asked and here was silence and I think they were mouthing of something.

"What!?" Paul screamed and I jumped about a foot off of Paul's shoulder. "He? On -?"

"Paul, calm down." The first man said and I groaned, starting to hit Paul's back again.

"What the fucks going on, you little fuck-face?" I shouted, but I seemed to be getting ignored. "Okay, that's it, Paul. We're going right home, right now!"

Yes, I also kind of consider Moose's house my own. He knew what I meant. I have known her all my life, and I do spend half of my time there anyway, so it's all good.

"Zoë?" Finally! Someone spoke to me!

Oh, fuck. My whole plan of 'avoiding until I die' is working out terribly. Oh yes, people, that beautiful husky voice belonged to Brady… fantastic.

The sad tone of his voice had my heart in fucking pieces on the floor.

I squeaked a little. "Oh, umm, hey, Brady."

I'm pretty sure if Paul didn't have a heart of stone, he too would have winced at how awkward I sounded.

All of a sudden Paul was shaking and we were rushing forward, quickly entering the house.

There was thump and Paul let out a sort of growl. "What the fuck have you done, Brady? I'm going to kill you." He snarled.

Ah, I do believe that thump was Paul pushing Brady up against the wall, as I'm pretty sure my leg just touched him, because I felt that spark of electricity on my skin again.

"Paul!" One of the guys shouted but Paul just carried on shaking.

"You better not have touched her!" Paul said in a threatening tone. I let out a nervous, awkward little noise and he growled. "What did you do, Brady? What did you do?"

"Okay, Paul, calm down right now. You wouldn't want to hurt Zoë, would you?" the man with the stern voice said and then Paul let out a frustrated noise, but set me on my feet.

All the blood rushed to me head and I'm pretty sure my eyes rolled into the back of my head as I started swaying.

I felt the brilliant touch of Brady's hands on my arms and my eyes snapped to him.

Oh, hell. He looked terrible. Like, sunken eyes, distressed look, unbelievably messy and greasy hair terrible. He still somehow had a rugged, sexy look.

Fuck! Get a grip of yourself, Zoë!

Okay, that was weird that I said my own name to myself. Strange.

"Are you okay?" he asked, capturing my eyes with his. I gulped and nodded.

Paul snarled at him, another growl ripping from his chest as he wrapped his hand around Brady's throat, slamming him against the wall.

"Don't touch her!" Paul shouted in a murderous tone, glaring the shit out of Brady. "Now tell me what the fuck you did to her?"

"Paul!" I shouted, pulling at his arm, but he wouldn't budge. "Calm down."

"We had sex." Brady said, staring intensely at Paul's angry face.

"Wo!" I shouted. That was totally inappropriate. Paul let out a loud growl, headbutting Brady in the face. "Okay, Paul, come on." I said, dragging him away.

Luckily he let me. I let out a loud breath as I pulled him into the other room. "Wow, Paul. You sure do have anger issues."

He looked at me sarcastically. "I get it from my mother." He spat and I winced.

I squeezed his forearm that I was still holding. "I'm sorry, Paul."

He groaned sort of through his nose, glaring at me. "Dean made me promise to keep you safe. And innocent."

I stepped away from him sharply. "Yes, well, that wasn't a promise for you to make, and that wasn't a promise for him to ask for, and he's not here."

He let out a frustrated breath. "You can't just keep ignoring Dean, for Christ sake, Zoë! He did it to protect you! He's coming out soon, for the love of god!"

I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. "He did it because he's an aggressive, violent animal. Now that I think of it, just like you."

Paul glared at me, not moving or talking and he grabbed my hand, putting it in front of my face. He twiddled with the ring on my thumb.

"Tell me you don't care about him," he said and I looked away quickly, hating the burning in my eyes that meant that tears were on their way. Yipee. I held them down, though. I don't even fucking know who's house I'm in. "I would have done the exact same if I was in his position."

I let out a disgusted noise and pulled my hand away quickly.

"What would he say if he knew?" Paul said, shaking his head and I kicked him in the shins.

"You don't know what he'd say because he's not here. And you will not tell him in a fucking letter."

"Who the hell is Dean?" Brady practically growled out and I turned my head quickly to see him standing at the door frame, shaking.

"Out! Get out!" The stern man shouted and Brady just glared at him. He really didn't look that well. I wanted to just run up to him and hug his head off, but that would probably be inappropriate and we'd just end up fucking on the floor again or something.

The stern man all but picked Brady up, dragging him outside.

"I'll join him." Paul growled out and stormed out of the house.

Oh, hell. I wish I'd just gone straight to Moose's now. That would have been so much easier. Paul would have never found out, would have never gone all caveman brother on me – even though I'm not even his sister, so he really is in no position to be like that, whether he made the promise to my real brother or not.

"Want to sit down, hon'?" this lady asked softly and I shook my head.

"Oh, umm, no, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here – I, err, I'll just go." I stuttered embarrassedly, now aware that I was in some stranger's house, and just caused a massive scene.

She smiled and put a hand on my shoulder as I tried to get past. "It's okay, Zoë, come have a drink. It will be nice to have another person in this house who isn't testosterone filled."

I laughed uneasily, pushing my messy hair out of my face. "Oh, god, I'm so sorry. This is your house and I – I'm really sorry. I don't want to –,"

Her laughter cut me off. "It's quite alright. Come have a drink. I'm Emily, by the way."

I nodded and followed, only because it really didn't seem like I was going to be able to get out of here alive. I can't meet new people. I just can't.

I either know them all my life, or I just don't spend alone time with them. I usually cock it up, or just freak them out. Apart from Ava, but she fitted right into our group the moment we saw her break out into a street dance outside the school on her second day in La Push when she moved here seven years ago. And Brady, but I really don't want to go there.

"So," Emily said as she got a cup out of the kitchen cupboard, "when did you i-… meet Brady?"

She sounded like she was going to ask something else, and I raised an inquisitive eyebrow, but she didn't turn to me.

"La Push has, what, seven hundred people on the reservation? I probably met him for the first time quite a while a go."

She laughed. "Ah, right, yes."

"Bollocks. I'm sorry – I didn't mean to sound so bitchy, I just-,"

She handed me the glass, an amused look on her face. "It's okay."

I nodded, taking a large gulp from the glass. She giggled at me and I smiled uneasily.

Oh no. Awkward silence coming ahead.

"Well, look at the time, must be going!"

She held onto my arm. Damn she has quick reflexes. "You're not going anywhere."

"Why do I feel like I'm being kidnapped?" I asked quietly and she laughed.

"Because you are. Have a muffin."

Muffin. For fucks sake, everything reminds me of Brady.

"Thank you." I said as she handed me one. "Why can't I leave, again?" I asked and she grinned.

"The boys'll probably want to talk things through when they come back in. I can tell you'd like to be there." She said, smirking.

She laughed loudly at the look on my face.

"Now, now, Emily. Don't go scaring the poor girl." The stern man said as he walked in, a smile lighting up the room on his face as he walked towards her.

She giggled at him as he took her in his arms, kissing her lips and she grinned at him. He placed kisses on the three scars on her face before turning to me. "Paul and Brady are now coming back in."

I dropped my head down to the table with a loud thud. "Cool."

He laughed. "I'm Sam."

I lifted my hand up above my head. "Zoë. It's a pleasure to meet you." He shook my hand, his deep chuckle filling the room.

"Come on, Zoë." Paul said, picking me up as he walked past. Oh great. He's sill in a shity mood.

I looked up at his face. "You can't tell Moose anything you've learnt today."

His head snapped to me, eyebrows practically in his hairline. "You're kidding me?"

I winced and shook my head. "Give me time."

He laughed as Brady walked in, glaring at Paul. "Oh, you are dead!" Paul said with an amused grin. Right. He appears to be in a good mood now. Bipolar…

Brady raised an eyebrow. How can even his eyebrows be perfect? They're all thick and defined. I wish he had horrible eyebrows. Like a monobrow or something. At least I could try and focus on that instead of how flipping beautiful he is.

Paul flopped down on the sofa in the lounge that we'd walked into, me going with him, landing under his arm.

I leaned against him, closing my eyes and leaning my head against his shoulder.

Why is life never uncomplicated? Why can't I just be normal?

I swear to god, if Moose reacts badly to this… oh fuck. It'll be fine. We'll be fine. Moose is my constant in life. She will be with me always. We need each other to live. Everything will be fine.

"You alright?" Paul asked as he gave me his hand.

"Fuck off." I mumbled and took his hand, playing with it.

He knows of my strange obsession with hands. I don't know why, I just love playing with people's fingers and hands and stuff. I love how everyone's hands are different. How you can define a person from their hand alone. Another reason why I can't be left alone with people; I usually start inspecting their hand.

I think it's because of my mother. She uses her hands like they're eyes. To recognise objects, people, to try and use them to picture a person she had just mets face. Hands are very, umm, handy.

"So," Sam started. What is it with everyone and saying 'so' today? What is it, 'so' day or something? "Paul and you are…?"

"We're in love." Paul said and I gagged.

I turned to Brady, who had been shaking slightly since he came in, but was now full out shaking all over.

I finally found one thing of Brady's that wasn't one hundred percent perfect. That look on his face as he stared at Paul and the way his body shook in anger. Quite frankly, it scared me a little. Fuck, I'm such a pussy.

Brady's eyes flickered over to me and he instantly stopped. "Zoë – I-," he cut short and I looked away, shrugging.

There was a tense and awkward moment in the room until I remembered what Paul said. "Ew, what the fuck, Paul? In love? I feel sick!"

He grinned. "I thought it would annoy Brady."

I pulled a disgusted look at him. "It's still weird." He shrugged.

"It's not like I meant it."

"You're still a weirdo."

He glared at me and opened his mouth to speak but this other guy cut him off. "How do you two know each other?"

Paul pulled me closer under his arm and a growl came from Brady. I turned to him quickly and he cleared this throat, looking away. Woohoo – another awkward moment.

That's why I liked being close to Paul. I've never felt awkward around him. I think it's because he reminds me so much of Moose. He smells like her and he has that protective feeling Moose carries. I really need to see her. Like, now. I'm having a Moose craving. And those cravings usually have to be fulfilled quite quickly or else I go coo-coo.

"I've known her since she was in nappies." He said, not giving any answers properly.

"He's Moose's brother." I said to Collin, whose eyes widened as he looked at Paul.

"Really?" he asked, his voice an octave higher than its usual tone.

"Don't even think about her, Collin." Paul said sternly, not even bothering to look at him.

"So…?" Sam said.

"She's all but my sister." Paul said, turning his eyes to Brady. "Who I happen to be very protective over."

"You can hurt me all you like, Paul. It won't change anything." Brady said, unaffected.

"I can forbid her from seeing you." Paul smirked and I gaped at him. He did not just say that. Hell, I'm close to him, but that's just not gunna happen.

Brady, however, didn't seem to think this, and he looked like he just had his guts kicked out of his stomach. Oh yeah, thought you were going to get in another fuck, did ya, pal? Ha ha, I don't think so sunny Jim!

And then, they spent the next thirty minutes arguing about if I should be able to date Brady or not. And all of the others joined in too. I mean, fucking hello? I wasn't even invited into the conversation. They didn't even see me gaping at them.

They just assumed that I would be game for whatever they finally agreed on. I was really angry. And none of them even seemed to fucking notice! They were too busy trying to work out how I would spend the rest of my life, and who with.

Well, apart from this girl who was as tall and muscular as all the guys in this room seemed to be. She was having a right little chuckle to herself in the corner.

"Fine." Paul eventually said after a long thought. I raised my eyebrows, 'eager' to hear his conclusion. "She can be your girlfriend, but you can't have sex, make out too heatedly, or in fact touch her."

"Agreed?" Sam said and Brady sighed.

"Yes." He said, tightly.

"Oh my god!" I screamed. "What the fuck is with you people?"

They all turned to me in surprise as the girl stifled her laughter. "You can't agree on things like that!" I shouted at Paul. "That is not something you pick. Especially you!" I said, turning to Sam. "I've never even met you before!"

It was silent as the girl muffled her laughter. "Oh, be quite, Leah." One of the guys snapped and she growled at him.

"It's not my fault you're all so think. Considering she 'means so much to you', Brady, you completely ignored the massive facial expressions she was pulling." She, well, Leah, said and I swear Brady's skin got a slight redder tinge.

"Sorry, Zoë." Brady mumbled quietly and I almost crumpled to floor in pain. He was freaking adorable. So unfair. I just wanted to jump in his arms and scream 'LOVE ME FOREVER?' in his face.

"So," again with the fucking 'so's. "What do you want?" The same man asked, whom I didn't know.

"Erm, I don't want to be Brady's girlfriend." I said bluntly. And I shouldn't have. I didn't mean for it to sound so bitchy. But it's not like he really wants me to be his girlfriend, is it? He just doesn't want to admit I was merely a quick fuck in front of Paul.

Brady is just a very convincing actor… yes, that's it. He can pretend to be utterly crushed very well. Very, very well, indeed.

"Oh." Was the general response. Now I just look like a bitch.

"Right. Okay. Umm… why?" Sam asked as Brady fell back in his seat, staring at me with hurt eyes. Like I said, brilliant actor. Right?

"I, err, don't have the time." I yanked at my hair nervously. "You know, lots of stuff happening and all…"

Leah snorted. "What the hell do you have that's so time consuming in your life?" she asked and I sucked in a breath, tensing my jaw.

I glared at her and she raised an eyebrow. "It's important, don't you worry."

That's it, good Zoë. Don't remove the girl's head from her body. She doesn't know. She doesn't have a clue what's going on, so calm down.

"What? The only thing girls like you worry about is running out of de-frizz serum."

Okay, not only was that a reference to the mess that is my hair, but she also stereotyped me. I hate stereotypes. I literally detest them.

I stared right into her eyes, trying to keep as calm as possible.

"Err, Zoë. Let's leave." Paul said.

Yeah, now he wants to leave.

"For your information, Leah, I'm so busy because I'm spending every free moment that I can get with one of my terminally ill best friends. And when I'm not spending what could be my last moment with someone who means the world to while she's alive, I'm looking after my mentally scarred, blind mother." I said in what I hope was a calm voice. I took a deep breath. "So I'm awfully sorry if I don't have time for a boyfriend. But I assure you now, fucking 'de-frizz serum' is so far off of my list of worries, that your jab at my personal appearance feels pretty lame and immature."

She stared back at me, her hard face slightly fallen. Yeah. Feel guilty, bitch. I like being able to throw my emotional baggage at people whenever they think I'm a 'typical teen'. But in reality, noone's life is easy. Nobody's biggest worry is 'running out of de-frizz serum. She just believes her life is so hard, that she can't even take into consideration what other people could be going through.

"Oh." She said quietly, eyes darting to the floor. "Sorry." She grumbled, reluctantly.

I groaned loudly. "No! Don't fucking say 'sorry'. You're only 'sorry' because I have such a big load of shit going on so that makes you feel slightly guilty. You're not sorry that you're an inconsiderate selfish stereotyping bitch. You won't change your ways. You won't stop thinking or saying that to any other person who you walk past who doesn't look like they've got the worst life ever, so I don't want to hear your apologies."

She glared at me. "What did you call me?"

I let out a sort of laugh, breathing loudly through my nose. Trust that to be the bit she listens to. "Nothing."

She continued to glare at me, her nostrils flaring. She started shaking and one of the guys sighed and pushed her. With long last glare she got up and stormed out of he house. I stared at the door she went through. The back door that leads into the woods. She's probably just taking a walk. With apparently no shoes on. Eh, whatever floats your boat.

Paul grinned at me as he stretched, standing up. "I've taught you to be a bitch so well." he said and I grinned, wrapping my arms around his warm body.

"And I thank you profusely for it."

"Now," Paul said cheerily, pushing me towards the front door, helping me to forget the awkwardness of the atmosphere in the room. "Lets go tell Moose you lost your virginity!"

"Fuck you, Paul. Fuck you." Just when I start liking him again, he fucks me off.

He smiled down at me and I shoved him.

A couple hours later, I lay in bed, my head resting against Moose's shoulder. She took it fine, she believed I didn't lie. I don't know why I always worry so much. Moose is just perfect. Whatever strange thing I'd tell her, she trusts my judgment and would literally go along with anything I said. If I told her that fucking wizards and vampires and zombies and werewolves were all real, she'd believe me. I love her more than words can describe. She really is the best friend I could have ever wished for. I've been through a bunch of shit, but I reckon myself incredibly lucky. I have the best friends in the world, who really understand me. I have a loving and wonderful mother, despite her flaws. I have some amazing people who mean a lot to me, and that overrules the bad parts of my life. I was happy.

Even if the look on Brady's face for the whole time today was still haunting me.

Okay, this chapter is slightly longer. On my other fic the chapters can range from about 2500 to 9000, so I'm trying to keep this story's chapters to roughly the same amount, but there was noway I could cut bits out and I didn't want to have to split it in half - I really hate that. Anyway, what did you guys think? I'm still not sure on everything, and reviews make me happy! And they also make me right more. PLEASE review :) I need to know which bits you guys like/dislike. I LOVE it when you tell me bits you hate, so don't hold back!