Chapter 4: Never Drink Alone

Ray's stomach flipped. For a split second he thought he was hallucinating and for an even shorter second he wished that he were.

Neela's face was stained with tears. Her body that seemed almost fragile was curled up on the edge of her bed. He stood fixed in front of her, torn between what he should do and what he wanted to do. Her apparent disregard to his presence easily decided it. He stepped further towards her and shut the door behind him.

"What's wrong, pre-wedding jitters?" he said, trying to ignore the sickening taste in the back of his mouth.

"Screw you, Ray." she muttered.

"Do you really want me to reply to that?" he asked, unable to mask the familiar playfulness in his voice.

Ray stood awkwardly in her room, studying it for the first time. His eyes darted between her bed and the chair sitting across the room. He drummed his fingers on his thigh, silently contemplating what to say. His eyes continued to travel around the room, hoping for some kind of clue. He spotted 2 empty beer bottles on her dresser and wondered if God had heard his prayers.

"Have you been drinking?" he asked but she made no effort to answer. He slowly sat down on her bed, consciously choosing the furthest side from her as possible. His logical reasoning made no difference to his uneasy stomach.

"What happened to the apartment?" he looked towards her, his line of sight hovering over her distressed form.

With no answer, "How long before Joeys are kangaroo's?" he continued trying to provoke her, "Wait, here's an easy one. How'd the leopard get his stripes?"

"Leopards don't have stripes, Ray." She mumbled, willing herself not to let him affect her.

"I knew there was logic in you somewhere." Happy to finally get a response, he decided to try his luck, "What's wrong, Neela?"

"Nothing is wrong." She let out all too quickly.

"You sure?" he said unconvinced, "Cause, you know… you just went a whole minute without yelling at me or calling me a jackass." He stopped for a minute to grab the box of kleenex, "And I know you've been crying."

Neela slowly sat up and made a lame attempt to dry her tear-stained face, "You're not… always… a jackass."

"I know." He sighed dramatically and lay down next to her, not even trying to conceal the smirk forming on his face, "What? I wanted to hear you say it."

Ray closed his eyes and slightly shifted his body to get comfortable. He couldn't see her, but he knew she was probably staring at him. "Hasn't anyone ever told you never drink alone?"

"What can I say? I'm a rebel."

He opened his eyes to see her staring blankly out the window, "You can start talking anytime now."

"What do you want me to say?"

"All previously listed questions."

Fed up with his prying, Neela fell back onto her bed, "Good night Ray."

He was battling within himself to calmly assess the situation. But as he watched her sink further into her pillow his mind began racing with images that made him extremely uncomfortable.

Don't think about it. Don't. Think. About it.

Ray grabbed the half-empty beer on her nightstand and quickly downed it, hoping to clear all thoughts of Gallant from his mind.

Gallant and Neela… on this bed… having sex.

He ached for another beer, or four, but he knew she needed him. He needed to keep his temper under control.

Neela sighed, noticing no shift of weight on her bed, "Ray."

He struggled to maintain composer, "Hmm?"

"That wasn't meant as an invitation."

Ray rolled over onto his side, "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong."

"Fine." She conceded, but lay back down to sleep, "Have it your way."

"Okay…" he exhaled dramatically, "But I should warn you, my hands tend to travel a lot in their sleep." He smirked and started to slowly lift the blanket off her.

Neela sat up quickly and smacked his arm. "Ray!" her voice was stern, but he could see a hint of a smile on her face as she pulled the blanket back over her.

"You hit me." He said, feigning shock.

She glared at him momentarily but eventually relaxed back on the bed. They sat in silence for a minute, until Ray finally decided to speak.

"I don't get it, Neela." He struggled to keep the bitterness from his voice, "Isn't this the part all girls dream of? Planning the perfect wedding?"

"Maybe…" she eyed him carefully, "If there was actually going to be a wedding."

Ray looked up, positive he had misunderstood her, "Huh?"

"He proposed." She said, rolling her eyes, "You assumed I said yes."

"Oh."

"That's it? That's all you have to say?" disappointment unmistakably in her voice.

"I'm just surprised..." Ray looked cautiously around the room, expecting someone to jump out and yell the whole thing was a hoax.

"Tell me about it." Neela sighed.

"I thought you guys were the real deal." Ray searched the room, trying to stare at anything but her, "Your devotion to him… even when he was away for so long…"

"I didn't mean actually tell me about it." Her slightly narrowed eyes were fixed on him, obviously growing annoyed.

But Ray didn't care, "What happened?"

"He's going back."

"Come again?" his eyebrows raised slightly.

She laughed shortly, but there was no humor in her voice, "Iraq. He wants to go back."

"Oh."

"I mean, who does he think I am?"

"I'm not sure…"

"Abby was right. We're complete strangers. How can he expect me to just wait idly by? He's choosing that life over me."

"But he proposed, he loves you." He paused slightly, "He'll come back." Trying to sound convincing, hoping it wasn't obvious his heart was cheering for the other side of the argument.

"He's in love with the fairytale. The perfect marriage… wife… family." Neela shook her head sadly, "I'm not sure that's what I want anymore. Not sure that's what I ever wanted."

Ray tried to swallow the venom that rose from his throat; "Do you love him?"

"Of course."

"Right. Just checking." Ray looked uncomfortably towards the floor; realizing how thankful he was that she had been drinking. She wasn't likely to remember this conversation in the morning.

"I mean, I care about him." Neela looked thoughtfully at her comforter, trailing her fingers lightly over the frayed edges. "I'm attracted to him. I enjoy being with him."

God, being with him. On this bed.

"Are you even listening?"

"Yeah, sorry. I'm just thinking. Isn't that enough?"

"What's enough?"

"Love. Isn't it enough to try and make it work?" Ray silently told himself to shut up, but he couldn't obey.

"Two people can fall in love… unwittingly… and be forced under shitty circumstances. But life isn't supposed to be easy, Neela." He could feel his heart pulsing as he paused to look at her, trying to gauge her reaction, "Neither is marriage." His voice trembled with frustration, "Or love."

He tried to take a deep breath, he knew he shouldn't say any more, but he was on a roll. It was uncontrollable now. "You say you're strangers, but doesn't that make it more interesting? That journey of discovering their deepest darkest secrets?"

Ray suddenly became aware of how close he moved to Neela, how soft his voice became and if he leaned in… just a little bit further… he could kiss her.

"What if I don't like what I find?" her voice subconsciously matched his soft tone.

"There's only one way to find out…"

"Ray…" her gaze was serious, but her voice gave away her discomfort.

"Neela…" he mimicked her, but his tone was far from playful.

"Why are looking at me like that?" she asked, somewhat embarrassed.

"Like what?"

"Like you're…"

"I'm…" He said, gravitatingcloser to her.

"About to be sick."

Ray leaned slightly back, "What?" confusion shown clearly over his face, "I'm not about to be sick."

Neela shook her head violently, "No, I am." and she quickly sped to the bathroom.

Author's Note: WHEW! Thank God that's over with. I got a little lazy at parts, especially towards the end, but I didn't think I'd ever finish! Hopefully it was worth the long wait… So anyway, (if you made it to the end) let me know what you think. Or not.