A/N: los kelzo? Bees that yous?
holy moly los belzo!
O.O I bees haz missed you!
aww! missed you too! and missed this fic! :)
me toos! But you know, despite it being a while since we posted, all things Twi still belong to SMeyer
true, true. so how bout we get to the latest chapter?
Sounds good. And maybe you guys can leave reviews :)
please and thank you!
EPOV
After we showered and had a mini breakfast downstairs, Bella and I were standing in front of the first building. I had her hand in mine, and to be honest I was nervous as hell. No one ever tells you how nerve wracking house shopping is. It's like...investing in something you're going to have for the next five-ish years.
Huge responsibility.
"Ready?"
Bella squeezed my hand reassuringly, but I still wasn't entirely convinced. "Ready."
I grinned at her, squeezing back before we went inside and rode the elevator to the tenth floor, where the apartment was. The realtor was waiting for us at the door, a little too excited about a one bedroom apartment, which was a compromise because it was equal distance to both the heath center and Northwestern.
"I think you'll LOVE it!" She cooed, shoving open the door with a flourish.
Actually...
I hated it.
It was tiny; so small that I probably could have fit just my bed in here and that would have been all the furniture we needed. Crap.
"The windows are huge!" If you're a Lilliputian. "And look at these views!" That you need to be a contortionist to see. "And the fun galley kitchen!" We weren't on a boat. "Good for young lovers." She said with a wink. I turned and looked. Nah, not enough space.
"What do you think?" I asked, leaning over to whisper in Bella's ear.
"I feel like Alice in Wonderland when she eats the bread and grows to be a giant." She whispered, sounding slightly panicked. At least we were on the same page.
I laughed a little, leaning over where the realtor was trying to show us the ugly bathroom. "Can we go?"
"I'll cause a diversion and you sprint to the car and start it up." She grinned, leaning into me a little.
"On it." I whispered, going straight back down to the car, and pulling it around to the front. Bella hopped in a few seconds later and I sped off across town to the next one. "That was...awful. Please tell me that was on the low end of our price range."
"I would but then I'd be lying.I can say it was in the lower end of the midrange of our budget."
Ugh. "Well, we'll make it work, right?" I asked, reaching for her hand. "If we have to have something like that we'll just...make it home."
"There has to be something better. I could always switch to evening classes and get a regular full time job to increase our budget."
"Fuck no." I said, squeezing her hand and turning into a space in front of the next building. "You need to go to school, and that's what's important. The end." I wasn't discussing it. It wasn't happening and I wasn't letting it.
She got out and I almost bumped into her where she'd stopped dead, staring up at the building. It was a traditional looking brick flat building, complete with historic looking windows and walk. "Edward..." She grinned, practically hopping in place.
"Yeah, it's better." I said, grinning back at her then following her inside. "This will be better." I hope.
"I have a feeling about this one." She told me, grabbing my arm and tugging me upstairs.
"Then let's go Mrs. Cullen."
She stopped dead once again (I was sensing a trend?) and turned to me. "Mrs. Cullen?"
"What?"
"You just called me, Mrs. Cullen." She repeated, looking at me like I was in trouble.
Shit. "I call you that sometimes...in my head."
"You do?" She asked, then smiled a little. "But... I'm not."
I pulled her into me, shrugging. "But you will be."
"You haven't asked yet, so who knows." She shurgged, as if she hadn't already agreed to this and pulled me back toward the apartment.
I scowled after her. She was it, she had to say yes. She just had to. We rode the elevator up, and this time, the realtor was alot less jumpy, just letting us into the apartment and not saying much.
Everything was just...home.
It was comfortable, but not huge and clean but not like...sterile white. It was perfect. Completely and totally perfect. Hardwood floors ran across the whole space, blending nicely with the white baseboards and green-gray walls. Two bedrooms, each of an equal size and two bathrooms. Epic win.
I left in a daze. "What'd you think?"
"That's home." SHe murmured, turning to me before pressing her lips forcefully to mine. "That's our home. Let's sign the papers today - now." She giggled, smiling at me that amazing smile of hers again.
I laughed, pulling her closer. "Okay...let's get back over there." I carried her back over to the realtor, where we asked for the apartment and filled out the papers on the dining room table. Not our dining room table, but close enough.
A month later, we were moving in and attempting to utilize what little furniture we had.
Our first meal, for instance, was pizza on the floor where the dining room table was supposed to be.
"Are you happy?" I asked as I grabbed another slice.
"So happy." She replied, dropping her slice back on her plate before crawling into my lap to kiss me. "In fact... completely and utterly fastastic."
I wrapped my arms around her, grinning up at her like a little kid. "Is it weird living on your own at 19?"
She shook her head, her lips still brushing against mine. "I've never felt happier in my life." She murmured, "And now..." Her lips began descending down my neck, and I lost all coherent thought. "We don't have to save fooling around to the back of your volvo."
I moaned against her, my head falling back. "This is true. We can...we can do a lot of stuff here."
"Do anything we want..." She told me, her teeth sinking into the sensitive skin. "say anything we want..." She whispered, moving back to my lips. "wear anything we want..." Kiss. "I could walk around the house naked all the time."
I grinned against her, pushing her down onto the floor so that I was hovering over her. "You could. It'd be a nice surprise."
She wiggled around, getting comfortable then smiled at me. "Marry me."
I leaned down, supporting my weight on my forearms. "That's my question."
"Yea, well the suspense was killing me and I couldn't take another day of waiting." She replied, cupping my jaw and running her thumb over the bone. "Loving you is who I am; what I do. I won't ever stop." She murmured, pressing my lips to hers. "Marry me."
"You can't do that." I said, furrowing my brow. "You're like...spoiling my whole moment."
She pouted, assuming I was declining her proposal. "I'm sorry..." She sighed, but kissed me anyway. "continue."
"No, no." I said, kissing her pout and reaching over for my bag. "Just means I get to do it twice." I sat up, grabbing the box then pulling her up with me. "Marry me because I never want to love anyone else for the rest of my life."
Bella blushed, a small smile crossing her lips, "Well, yours was better. I didn't have a ring to give you." she thought aloud, no doubt making me sweat on purpose. "But I dunno... now that I think about it..." Her eyes drifted up to mine and she was biting her lip.
Shit.
Oh god. She was gonna say no. She was kidding around and now she's gonna say no. Shit shit shit shit shit.
Her lips curled into a smirk before she pressed her lips forcefully to mine. "Like I would ever want to be anyone else's." Kiss. "If that wasn't clear... yes. Yes I'll marry you."
I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close. "Don't ever scare me like that ever again. Ever, okay?" Shit, that was close.
"How could you have ever thought I'd say no." She asked, her hand coming up to my jaw and leaned her forehead to mine. "I've been yours since I got you sticky..." She smirked, "with soda."
I shrugged a little, kissing her again gently. "You never know. Fuck, I love you so much."
"I love you too." She murmured, brushing her lips to mine and twisting her fingers in my hair. "Do you think it would ruin the moment if I asked you to drop the pants?"
"No," I whispered as I rolled her over. "You're my wife; we can do stuff like this."
"Then, pants off. I haven't been fucked properly since my last day in the dorms. Your car is nice but I'm not a fan of banging my head on hard plastic." She giggled.
"It's sexy though," I said, reaching down to undo my fly. "When you get that into it, I mean."
"You know what's also sexy?" SHe asked, pulling off her own jeans. "Christening our dining room."
I laughed, pulling off my tee shirt. "Am I going somewhere?"
"No." She sighed, kissing my neck and pulling off her underwear. "We're... already in the dining room."
"Good." I leaned in, kissing over her chest again. "I'll never go anywhere with out you. I promise."
"I know. I love you so much." She sighed, arching against me and her legs rubbing together. "Please Edward.."
"Oh, Bella..." I whispered, pushing into her slowly. My face immediately went to her shoulder and I started panting. She sucked in a deep breath, then tapped my sides with her knees, letting me know she was okay. I pulled almost all the way out of her, then pushed back in quickly as I found our rhythm. I moved hard against her; not because there was any real need to go fast but because I was just overcome with the feeling of...of us.
She was my wife, more or less. The one woman I'd love for the rest of my life and beyond.
She was perfect.
I started going harder, sitting up a little and lifting her hips to meet mine with every thrust. "Fuck, Bella...shit."
She was panting and moaning under me, her hands coming up to grip my forearms. "Edward...Edward...Edward..."
Guh, that was the best. She always made me feel like she needed me, just the same and just as much as I needed her. And fuck, did i need her.
My hand traced down her hip where I found her clit and I started rubbing fast circles against it. "Bella...Bella...baby, I need you to cum. I want you to milk my cock and cum. Will you do that for me? Please?"
Her eyes snapped shut and her face was puckered, her fingers digging into my arms. "Shit...shit...shit! EDWARD FUCK! I'M...I'M!" She didn't even finish her sentence, and I felt her pussy clamp around my cock, holding it in place as she exploded around me. All I could do was wiggle my hips a little before I exploded inside of her, calling her name and pushing my face into her hair.
She was so perfect.
And she was mine.
She would always be mine.
BPOV
We had a long engagement. Very long.
Edward's medical school was 4 years, plus three years of residency. We had decided to wait at least until he was through with medical school before even starting to plan the wedding.
I had found a well paying Executive Assistant job (I mean, what else could I do with an English degree?) right out of school and that helped us immensly. We began starting to pay on his school loans while even putting away a little bit.
"Edward?" I asked as I sifted through the day's mail while he washed up for dinner.
"What's up baby?"
"Your mom called today to see if we could put it on the calendar now, to save a weekend in June open to meet with a wedding consultant. She said that would give you a month after graduation to unwind and not worry about anything. I told her I'd talk to you since we'd been discussing a vacation and hadn't really decided when we were getting married yet."
He looked up at me his eyebrows furrowed with confusion as he turned off the faucet. "A wedding consultant?"
"Yea to help with all the details that we'd probably forget or not even know about. She'd be like our personal assistant for all things wedding." I shrugged. "It was an idea."
"Well, what do you want?" He asked, walking over to the dining room table where I'd begun to open bills and lay them out by due date. "I mean, do you want a big wedding? Or a little one? Because to be honest, I never saw more than...50 people there," he admitted sitting beside me and reaching for an unopened envelope.
"Me either, but there's still a lot of details involved no matter how many people we invite," I sighed. "I did some research after you proposed and it's... hardcore," I laughed, standing up to grab dishes for the table.
"Don't you just like buy flower and a cake? Oh, and a dress?"
"No, we have to get blood tests done, apply for a marriage license, reserve a venue for the ceremony then one for the reception then figure out plate settings and themes and colors..." I rambled as I dished up the stir fry noodles I'd made us for dinner and walked back to the table, setting our plates down.
He laughed, seemingly both amused and surprised by my detailed list. "Wedding coordinator it is," he finalized as I sat down. His hand reached for mine and he lifted my arm, kissing the inside of my wrist. "Thanks, love. But why don't you pick the lady? It's not my mother's wedding and make the appointment whenever's convenient for you. I'll be there."
"Oh she didn't pick her. We're kind of like... interviewing her to see if she can help us."
"Okay. Sounds like a plan then," He grinned, picking up his utensils and cutting up the peppers and onions. "So, we're really doing this."
"Mhm, as long as you still want to," I confirmed, placing my hand over his on the table.
"No, Bella, I'm moving out next week," he teased shoveling a forkful of chicken and vegetables into his mouth.
"Okay good, because I've been sleeping with Marcus next door so he can start coming over here once you're moved out then." I smirked, twirling the noodles around my fork.
He grimaced, crinkling his nose as if smelling something foul. "Ew."
I laughed feigning ignorance. "What, is the broccoli overcooked?"
"You and...that next door," he winced, shaking his head. "Ew."
I sat back and shrugged. "What can I say? He blows my mind."
"Should we name our first after him then?" He inquired, raising an eyebrow.
"No, no. Just because he fucks me better doesn't mean we should name our first born after him. Now you're just being silly." I waved off, trying to contain my laughter.
His face went from it's normally pinkish pale to a ghostly white; his words coming out in a slow stutter. "Come again?"
"You heard me," I smirked, spearing a sliced carrot.
He set down his fork and knife, pushing back from the table and heading towards the kitchen. "I'll be back in a sec. I need some water."
I got up and followed behind him to the kitchen, sliding between him and the counter where he was reaching for a glass. "You know I was kidding, right?" I asked kissing him softly. "No one touches me but you. No one pleasures me but you. No one fucks me but you." I murmured quietly against his lips.
He sighed heavily, wrapping his arms around my waist, clinging to me. "I know, I just don't like thinking about it. I'm sorry," he mumbled into my hair.
"Hey, no one," I began lifting up my hand to show off my engagement ring. "No one but you gets me. You're stuck Edward." I smiled, leaning in for another kiss. "And no moving out next week because I go where you go and I really like our apartment."
His smile looked sad and slightly forced; it looked like it was plastered there to convince us both that he believed me. "I know. I'm just being a baby." Kiss. "I'm sorry."
"No worries." I told him kissing his lips again. "How is studying going? You were locked up in the spare room when I woke up and when I came home."
"Awful," he replied morosely, moving his head back into my hair. "I'm gonna fail."
I rubbed his back, hoping to soothe his nerves. "You're amazing. You're going to be fine; watch, you'll surprise yourself. I know you and you are brilliant Edward. You're going to be a brilliant doctor too."
He shook his head against me, inhaling a deep breath. "Pretty sure I'm gonna suck."
I pulled back looking at him directly. "You're not. I know you and you've been killing yourself with your study hours. You're more prepared than you give yourself credit for."
"I hope so," he relented, pressing his lips against my forehead. "C'mon, let's go eat. We're getting married and then we're having four kids. We gotta spend this time together practically." He said as if he had a flowchart to how our life was going to be. "I love you."
"Oh, if we're being practical then..." I trailed off grabbing his hand and leading him back to the bedroom grinning.
"Oh, Bella," he laughed, scooping me up unexpectedly and throwing me over his shoulder.
I giggled, glad to hear him laughing again. "See already getting some muscle building exercise. All that's left is cardio."
With one swift movement he flipped me onto my back and onto our bed. "It's coming," he puffed out, tumbling down over me.
I laughed, threading my hands through his hair as he peered down at me. "Do you think we'll always be this happy?"
He nodded instantly. "Forever."
"Even when we have four kids a dog and you're working insane hours and I'm trying to figure out how to pick up Edward Jr. from soccer while taking the baby to gymboree?"
"Yup," he murmured, kissing my lips softly and nuzzling my nose. "And we're not naming any of our sons Edward, Jr."
"Aw." I pouted. "Why not?"
"Because," he started, interrupting himself again with another kiss. "They need their own names because they're their own people."
"Okay," I sighed, conceding to him and tilting my neck up to kiss him again. "Wedding... next summer? Sooner?" I questioned as he sat up throwing off his shirt. I sat up minimally and did the same, unhooking and discarding my bra.
"August 18th," he stated decisively as one hand moved closer to me, placing one hand on the side of my neck and kissing just beside my lips.
I laughed softly. "That's precise. Why August 18th?"
His lips continued to descend to my cheek and then down my neck. "Because it's soon enough so that we can plan, and not too close to your birthday that's it's kind of a two-fer."
"Of this year?" I asked, trying to stay coherent. If he meant this year, we'd have to meet the consultant sooner than June.
"Yeah."
My hands skimmed between us slowly, my hand running down the length of his chest. "You want to marry me that soon?" I pushed, unfastening his pants and tugging them down with his boxer briefs.
His eyes narrowed and his eyes grew darker with intensity. "I would marry you tomorrow, if that's what you wanted."
A chill went down my spine at his heavy gaze and I nodded as if in a trance. "I want that. I want to be your wife."
He moved his lips against mine, sucking on my bottom lip teasingly. "And you will be."
"I'll call in sick tomorrow." I exhaled, lifting my hips and shoving my skirt down. "I want to marry you tomorrow. Desperately."
"Okay," he nodded, kissing me in the same fashion. Thank goodness I'd been laying down otherwise I would have fallen from my knees turning to jelly. "As long as you're sure."
I captured his lips with mine and kissed him with all the love I could possibly express. I felt him moan against me as he tugged my underwear down to my knees. I kicked them off from there and widened my legs, him slipping easily between them. "Tomorrow I want to come home and be able to beg my husband to take a quick study break to fuck his wife on his desk. Does that help?"
The smirk he wore as he hovered above me made me laugh out loud. "I was already on board; that's just incentive."
I beamed, moving my head up to kiss him roughly. I moaned as his teeth nipped at my bottom lip and he pushed all the way inside. No slow strokes to ease in, no gentle movements.
It wasn't urgent but it was need.
I let out a whimper, tossing my head back as our hips met in hard, primal thrusts. He sank his teeth into the curve of my neck and growled as our pace quickened. I dug my nails into his back, squeaks and moans involuntarily slipping from my lips.
This wasn't making love; even though we felt it deeply.
This wasn't sex; it was so much more.
We were possessing each other; making sure each knew that we were the other's forever. That this was all we'd need.
We came together for the first time in all our years together, a mixture of the sound of slapping flesh, guttural moans and breathless whimpers the only sounds echoing through the apartment.
My best friend.
My lover.
And tomorrow, my husband.
Time seemed to speed up after the wedding. Between family members being dissapointed (his) and angry (mine) over the abrupt nuptials, on top of his graduation and my generally high stressed job, spring and summer were all but a distant memory.
Summer turned into Fall which meant the beginning of his Residency.
He was gone... a lot.
He worked as much as he could, absorbed as much information and knowledge as he could and still he pushed.
The night of my birthday Edward and I had decided do a low key dinner party with some of our friends. His friend Ben and Ben's girlfriend Angela, came by along with my old college roommate (and best friend since having moved to the midwest), Alice and her husband Jasper.
Edward was scheduled to end at 3 which gave him plenty of time for a nap and shower before everyone started arriving at 8.
At five, I assumed he got held up.
At six, I started to worry.
By the time seven thirty rolled around without so much as a text message, I was getting irritated. How hard was it to text. I mean.. TEXT.
Everyone had arrived by eight thirty - except Edward. I had laid all the food on the table at once to avoid rushing back and forth from the kitchen.
"To Bella, the most beautiful and driven girl from bumfucknowhere, USA ever." Alice announced, holding up her wine glass in a toast. I laughed, blushing a bit as I shook my head. I raised my glass in spite of myself and we all clinked laughing and carrying on without Edward.
The night wore on, conversation was great and the company even better. Jasper and Ben seemed to really click and we three girls clucked away like hens.
I tried to pretend I wasn't hurt or angry. I tried to even convince myself Edward was supposed to have worked the late shift and that's why he wasn't around.
It wasn't even like my birthdays really mattered to me, until Edward began making them a big deal. And after the first one, I kind of looked forward to my birthdays knowing that Edward would be beside me and holding me hand through them.
But not this year. Not on my 25th birthday.
Everyone slowly meandered towards the doors at a little after eleven. I smiled as best I could when Alice gave me a big hug, whispering in my ear not to worry and that she loved me. I pulled back enough to nod and asked her to text me when she got home.
Once everyone had made it out the door, I locked up for the evening and threw the dishes in the dishwasher. Once the steady hum of the appliance was filling the main area I walked into our bedroom and grabbed my phone; noticing I'd missed a text sent at 9:32.
Running late...emergency. Love you, happy birthday
I scoffed and threw my phone onto the cushioned pillow beside the desk. Thank you captain obvious, I thought as I stripped down and got ready for bed.
I was double checking the locks and the dishwasher (and honestly, getting another glass of white wine) when the lock turned and Edward stepped through, looking beyond exhausted.
"I am so sorry," he panted, dropping his back and quickly walking over to me. "I am so so so so sorry. There's no excuse," he sighed, running a hand through his hair nervously. "Happy birthday."
"It's fine." I said with a shrug. I sipped my glass of wine. It was absolutely not fucking fine, but I knew what I was getting into (or I thought I did), so I couldn't complain.
"It's not fine; I know it's not fine," he let out another deep breath and stared at me. It was almost as if he were gauging what to say next. "I brought you something."
"It's not going to make up for missing tonight Edward, so just... return it." I replied, tired myself. I emptied my glass of wine into the sink and brushed past him heading for bed.
It would have been fine if he hadn't made me start enjoying my birthday... start enjoying the celebrating aspect.
It would have been fine if he had been there.
EPOV
I knew I fucked up royally. I knew it. I knew it as it was happening.
It's like when you get into a car accident; you're watching it happen and there's nothing you can do but sit there and say "shit."
This was one of those moments.
I scampered after my wife, bag in hand. "I know it won't, but can't I give it to you anyway?"
"No."
Shit. "Please?"
"No."
I dropped the bag and pulled off my sneakers in our bedroom. "Why not?"
"Because whatever it is, whenever I look at it I'll wonder if it was a birthday gift or if it was an apology gift for spending years trying to get me excited for my birthday and the one year I am you not only not tell me you're running late but you add insult to injury by texting me six and a half hours after you were supposed to have gotten off your shift to tell me." She said, her back still to me. She was...unflinching.
I went into the closet, pulling the box out of the closet. "Of course it's a birthday gift. I got you something else to cheer you up about my fucked up time table."
"Well.. I don't want either. They'll both be reminders that you weren't here tonight and I know you're just starting the residency and I expected crazy hours, really, I did... I'm just. It's an adjustment for me too and tonight was a big deal to me."
Utter failure. I felt like a complete and utter failure because I let my wife down when I should have been here. "Bella, I'm so sorry. And I know I can't make up for it or anything like that and I know that this was your first birthday with us all...married and..." I sighed, running my hand through my hair. "I'm sorry I ruined it for you."
I took the bag and her gift out to the kitchen and started taking stuff apart because I hadn't eaten since noon and it was nearing one in the morning. I took Bella's cake out of the bag and put it in the fridge incase she changed her mind then propped her gift up on the dining room table in case she wanted it. I heated myself up a plate of leftovers and sat at the island with only my thoughts to keep me company.
I kept telling myself that it was an adjustment; you go through the rigors of it now and it all pays off in the end. But what if it didn't? Would I lose my wife over my job? No, I wouldn't let it get that far. Simple as that. Just because you're meant to be with someone doesn't mean that the relationship isn't hard work. To keep what we had and to sustain it, we both had to put in the effort. Lately, I seemed to be lacking.
I cleaned up my dishes and yawned as I headed for the bedroom, where Bella was already sleeping. I peeled off my shirt and scrubs, taking a quick shower before I got in beside her. I leaned over and kissed her cheek. things would be different now. They had to be.
The next morning was the start of a two day hiatus I had. Never was I more thankful for it to be saturday because it meant Bella didn't have to work either. I woke up with Bella securely at my side and my face pushed into her hair. I kissed the top of her head, feeling her start to stir against me. "Morning, love."
Bella pulled her self tighter to my chest, and her face found the crook of my neck. "Mmm... ten more minutes."
"Okay." I whispered, pulling her closer and rocking her back to sleep. I loved her. I'd do anything for her. This...I had to make sure we never lost this.
All I could think of was how I could make it work. I couldn't let her think she was less important than my job, because she absolutely wasn't. I would do anything; lay down my life for her, whether she knew it or not. Her voice, though, broke my train of thought and my hands ran lines up and down her back. "I'm sorry Edward... for last night."
"Don't apologize when things aren't your fault." I said, kissing her forehead gently. "I'm sorry for being so careless. I should have called sooner or texted...I'm so sorry, Bella."
"No.." She started, but yawned into my shoulder before she could continue. "You were working, I get it. I'm sorry I overreacted."
"Bella, you didn't. I messed up. It was your birthday. I should have been here. That's all there is to it."
"You were working. It's important, you just" Another yawn. "started your residency."
"you'll always be more important." I told her seriously. "Always. I don't care what I'm doing, it's always you."
She gave me a non-commital hum before wrapping her arms tightly around my neck and pushing her lips delicately to mine. I held her there for a second, letting my lips get used to the taste of hers again before she slid back down and adjusted against me.
"Wanna see what I got you?" I whispered, kissing her forehead gently.
She shook her head, pouting into my skin. "No moving."
I laughed, kissing her again. "OKay. Do you jsut want to stay in bed all day?"
"Mhm."
I hitched her leg over mine and closed my eyes. "How was your party?"
"Good. Jasper wanted to know if you could ask Emmett to get him tickets to the superbowl." She groaned as she stretched out, undoubtedly thinking I was going to let her leave the bed anytime soon. Silly woman. "He and Alice are buying a house in Oak Park and they could use the extra money so they want to sell them on ebay."
"Okay. I'll talk to Em. Did you get anything good?"
"Angela and Ben got us those frames we wanted to put our wedding pictures in, and Alice got me lots of lingerie."
I grinned, rolling her onto her back as I kissed down the side of her neck. "That sounds like fun."
"Mhm." She sighed, her eyes blinking open slowly before she gave me a soft smile. "Morning."
I grinned back at her, kissing her slowly. "Hello."
"Hi love." Kiss.
"I missed you."
"I missed you too." she sighed, her lips brushing against mine thoughtfully. "How was work?"
"Awful. We had a baby born with a hole in his heart." I whispered. "But we saved him."
She beamed, kissing me again. "That's amazing baby."
I shrugged against her. "It's weird...you know, to see a kid that helpless. I mean, I always knew I wanted to help kids, I just didn't realize it'd be this hard."
"But you save lives Edward. You saved his life, you saved his parents. It's not just one person you help when you help a child it's the child and everyone that loves them."
"I save some lives." I corrected, pulling her closer. "But what about the ones I don't? What if...Bella, what if it were our kid?"
"You do your best Edward. Whatever is meant to happen will happen. Whether it's a stranger's child or our own, I know you always do your best."
I sighed, taking in a deep breath and closing my eyes.
I hoped so.
I really did.
They say life goes by in the blink of an eye.
They were right.
At least, the last four years had.
I'd finished my residency (finally) and had just gotten a position with a practice at the hospital. It meant that I'd start to keep regular hours which made Bella and I much happier. The residency was tough on us; tougher than I anticipated, mostly because Bella and I had spent so little time together doing it. Toward the middle it was almost like we led two separate lives instead of the one we used to share. I was starting to feel like I lost an essential part of myself. It was a part I wasn't willing to give up, though.
"Bella, do you need help?" I called, looping my tie over my neck and moving back toward the bedroom.
"In here!" She yelled, sounding like she was she was in our closet.
I stood in the door way where she was, and started tying my tie. "You okay?"
"Yea, I'm just trying to clean up a bit. I don't think we've gone through this stuff since we moved in." She laughed, smiling widely up at me. I didn't think I'd ever get tired of that face, or making it happen.
"What is it?" I asked, sitting beside her on the closet floor. It didn't matter how many years we were together, or what we'd been through I'd always love her more than anything. She was perfect. Still. Always.
"Just stuff." She replied, holding up a bright pink spandex tube that I'm assuming was a shirt. "Christmas gift from Jess." she laughed.
Jess. She felt like a million years ago. I nodded. "Attractive."
Bella nodded, tossing it into the giant trash bag to her left. "So.. I have an appointment with Dr. Stevens tomorrow." She told me, trying to sound non-chalant, but I knew what Dr. Stevens meant, and why exactly she'd be going there.
I raised an eyebrow, feeling my heart start to thump harder. "Oh?"
"Yea.." She nodded, tossing another shirt into the trash bag. "So.. remember how after you graduated we agreed we'd take a year of 'us' time and figure everything out before I got off the pill?"
My brow furrowed. "Yeah?" Was this...this was...maybe?
"Well, I waited... and I stopped. And Dr. Stevens said it might take a few months for my body to stop thinking that it was on birth control because I'd been on it for so long.." She spat, obviously trying to get it out quickly, "And it looks like my body's forgotten... and we might be pregnant." She smiled, looking up at me nervously.
I grinned up at her, tugging at my hair. "Really? I mean, you think so?"
She nodded, "I'm late and normally I'm like a fucking microwavable dinner with timing accuracy. And I've been feeling weird."
I leaned forward, putting my hands under her calfs and sliding her toward me. "Weird how?" A baby. We were having a baby.
"Just really tired all day even if I get 10 hours of sleep, and really nauseous to stupid stuff, like deli meat and mint, and my boobs have been more sensitive... not like hurting but just a slight gust of wind and I look like I've been running around in the snow topless." She said, puffing out a small laugh, and shaking her head thoughtfully as though she were going through the evidence herself again.
I bit my lip-a habit I picked up from my wife. "Bella, I think you're pregnant."
She sighed, "Yep. I just wanted to go in for confirmation. I peed on one of those stick things but I didn't want to get my hopes up til it was confirmed." She told me, leaning her head to my shoulder. "Do you want me to call you when I find out? My appointment is at 3 tomorrow, I tried to get it earlier so you could be there but that was all they had open."
"I'll be there; I'll cancel my afternoon." I told her, kissing the back of her head and rubbing her back. "I can't believe you peed on the stick without me."
She laughed a little, and I noticed a hint of sadness to it. "Well I know you've been working extra shifts so we could start looking at houses soon so I didn't want to stress you out or distract you if it might not happen right now."
"Hey, listen to me." I said, moving her head so I could cup it in my hands. "You are never a distraction or a stress factor or.. any of that. If it involves you, it involves me okay? I want to be there for all of it, because this-you and I and our kids, are the most important thing to me."
She nodded, kissing me. "Okay, I'm sorry. I still have the stick." She admitted, the blush springing to life in her cheeks and she laughed. "Wanna see?"
"Yes." I said, looking at her like she was insane. "Did you get a couple tests? Cause even though you already know, maybe we could do it again?"
"No but we can run out and get more. There were two in the box and I was so nervous my hand was shaking and well... it fell in the toliet." She laughed, rolling her eyes. "Typical Bella."
Damn it. I wanted to be there. I leaned in and kissed her. "It's okay. Show me the stick and then I'll just have to settle for being with you tomorrow this time around."
"No." She said,detangling herself from me and standing to tug me up too. "We're gonna go through this together like we should have. There's a CVS on the corner, come on." She said, more dragging me with her than asking me to follow.
I laughed, letting her do like she wanted. "Baby, it's okay. We'll just do it next time."
"No. I know you have to get to work but it'll take us 10 minutes to go there and back and 5 minutes for the results and I'll pee really fast." She informed, obviously determined to have her way.
"Baby, it's not about work because I have...two hours before my first appointment. It's really okay." I reiterated, locking the front door as we left then following her to the elevator.
She pulled me into the elevator, then pressed me against the wall and kissed me. "No, you should have been there the first time. We'll just... pretend this is the first time." She smiled, taking a deep breath as if she realized what, exactly we were doing. What this all meant for our little family. "We might be having a baby." She beamed, taking my hand and sliding it under her shirt, over her belly.
I grinned, running my thumb over her smooth skin. "No way."
She nodded, leaning in to kiss me again. "Maybe."
"I think we are." I whispered, pulling her out of the elevator and turning down the street. "And it's gonna be a blast."