"Im the doctor, and if you don't help me get this door open right now I will get very, very angry!" the doctor said through gritted teeth. He beat the door with his fist, but no matter how hard he tried, the door still remained completely intact, not a splinter appeared
"calm down doc," jack laughed "I wont let anybody near her, they would have to kill me first, and I can't die"
"I don't care, help my pull this door down, or there will be no jammy dodgers for you" he scolded jack
"what kind of doctor are you, a paediatrician or something? Because doctor what ever you're name is, frankly, I don't give a shit if I don't get any jammy dodgers" jack said, still remaining uncooperative.
"captain jack harkness," the doctor shouted " I have saved you're American arse twice as many times as you've saved mine, and this is when you return the favour. I am the doctor the oncoming storm and if you do not come and help me right this minute, the storm will be coming straight for you're sorry arse"
"for the doctor, you don't sound an awful lot like him" jack criticised the doctor
"well, new face, new voice" the doctor said indignantly.
The air was filled with laughter, as jack had a sudden laughing fit, he had a penetrating howling laugh, that was amplified by the cavernous room. The doctor was beginning to get very angry, and it took a lot to get him angry.
"STOP LAUGHING, IT'S NOT FUNNY" the doctor tried to remain serious, but jacks laugh was and always has been highly contagious. He also ended up slumped against the wall, trying to stop his sides from splitting. After about 5 minutes of non-stop laughter, they finally calmed down.
"and if you don't want any jammy dodgers it's you're loss, all the more for me" the doctor mumbled with a mouthful of biscuit.
"I'll have to pass on that one, thanks" jack replied, extracting a long metal razor, which was poking out of his neck
"tut tut harkness, I guess you just don't appreciate the finer things in life: jammy dodgers, Stetsons and the legendary bow tie" the doctor tutted, straightening his tie as he spoke.
"I don't know about that, I like Stetsons, Stetsons are cool, I've got a hot pink one in the back of my wardrobe, if there is one thing I can rock, it's a Stetson"
After an awkwardly long pause, the doctor broke the ice.
"If that's what you hide at the back of you're wardrobe, I dread to think what else is in there" the doctor stated.
"you don't wanna know doctor, you don't wanna know" jack said, the doctor couldn't see jack, but he could tell he was grinning his smug little face off.
"So, old chum, do you fancy helping push down this door?" the doctor asked.
"Chum?" jack asked "how much more British can you get? Next thing you're gonna tell me is that you've grown a beard"
"No, but I did have one once, and I dare say I looked quite fetching" the doctor scoffed in a very posh accent.
"But seriously, can you help me bash this door down?" the doctor
"Otherwise I'm going to end up dislocating my shoulder."
"Make way for the master" Harkness rubbed his hands together and swaggered over to the door.
"I strongly advise you do not attempt to open that door" jigsaw waffled through the speakers.
"Jigsaw," the doctor whispered very angrily, "there is nothing in the world that will stop me from opening that door."
Unwisely, the doctor stood in the doorway; face about 2cm away from the door. He promptly received a bash on the nose, which made sickening crunch of a sound
"Watch it" the doctor hissed, rubbing his sore nose, thankfully it hadn't started bleeding, yet. Splinters of wood were flying in all directions, dust clouds hung in the air. Slowly but steadily, the door was falling to pieces, the corners were the first to fracture and brake off, and then gradually eroded the rest of the door.
"How can you do that so easily, and I cant?" said the doctor, quite embarrassed.
"Well doc, I've been locked in a bathroom for the past six months, I thought it would be a good time to improve my physique" jack bragged. The doctor leaned on the wall, tapping his foot and whistling to himself while jack did the dirty work.
"Doctor?" came a rather uncertain, nervous voice.
"What is it Jack?" the doctor sighed
"That wasn't me, doc," jack declared "it looks like you're girlfriend is waking up"
"For you're information, he is not my boyfriend, I have a husband I'll have you know,"
"oooooooooohh! Doctor, get you!" jack whistled
"I mean, I knew you were a ladies man, but, get in there doctor!"
"Shut up, now let me see that face, I can't trust a voice, but I can trust a face" Amy commanded.
Jack sighed
"What the lady wants, the lady gets" jack said, not bothering to argue.
Jack came around from behind, stood in front of her and did a mock salute.
" captain jack harkness, at you're service, ma'am" jack laughed. Amy giggled in response.
"I tell you what it's a shame you're married, because if you weren't I'd take you on a date"
"are you done flirting yet, jack?" the doctor butted in
"nah, you've got to be gay" Amy said, trying to stop herself from laughing. But after seeing jack storm off in a huff, burst out laughing.
Jack, In a rather sulky mood, continued his work without saying a word, in fact, no one said a word for a while.
The doctor lazily gazed around the room, the dalek was still asleep, heart going at a slow but constant rate. There was another door, and the doctor assumed the key that was currently in the dalek brain open that very door.
Then the doctors eyes fell on some thin black wires, connected to the door hinges, and noticed the constant beeping noise, that wasn't the heart monitor, beeping with every second that went by, had gradually speeded up . Then the doctor remembered 2 very important things, two things that could potentially jeopardize the whole possibility of getting out alive:
The door must be wired up to some explosive device, which would detonate, as soon as that door collapsed. To deter him from going back to see Amy.
Dalek's don't sleep.
"JACK STOP," the doctor ordered "STOP, STOP, STOP"
"What?" jack sighed "I've spent a good 10 minutes trying to bash that door down, and now you're telling me to stop"
"I know, I know," the doctor replied " but see those wires poking out of the door, there is 90% chance is we bash that door down, a explosive will blow up in one of our faces, and I don't particularly want that and neither do you"
Backing away from the door and rubbing his arm, he wished he'd never started it, all that hard work had cost him quite a few splinters.
The doctor calmly said, staring directly at the daleks eyestalk
"you've been listening in to us this whole time, haven't you?" in a complete monotone, watching for the slightest movement.
"Huh?" jack interrupted.
"shhhhh…..not you jack" calmly putting a finger to his lips.
After a small pause it replied
"I WAS NOT-"it screeched "I WAS NOT A-SLEEP…. I WAS RES-TING" a dim blue light began to glow from the end of the eye stalk, and it lifted its head to stare at him with a single, penetrating eye.
The doctor cursed under his breath in a number of languages, mostly third world Swahili.
Jack said incredulously
"You have GOT to be kidding me"