Broken and Bound
Chapter 7
I do not own any lyrics to the Seether song. I don't own Harry Potter. I don't want to own Harry Potter either. Now Severus Snape (Alan Rickman) I wouldn't mind owning him, but sadly I don't own him either. I do however own other soon to be known Characters. I also own the plot of the story. I adopted this fic from SpikesWoman77, and I hope to do her some justice. I posted this fic on my web groups. If you would like to check out the groups go to my profile. Summary—This is an abused Harry bonds with Snape fic. Harry is kidnapped by Death Eaters, tortured and raped. Severus happens upon him and alerts the Order. Harry is brought back to headquarters where he has to face what he's gone through while dealing with the death of Sirius. Dumbledore is his usual meddling self and finds a way to "help" his two most important "friends". Features a slightly OOC Snape and dark Lupin. This will be HP-SS slash. I hope it's original enough for you all and I hope you enjoy. And don't forget to review!
Warning—this chapter contains mentions of Rape and Torture though I will not be describing much of it. Be warned! I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed so far. I would also like to suggest if you like Flaming then light a match. No one is perfect so please be nice constructive criticism is one thing but to be rude is not.
Thanks,
Serena
(Rena)
'Cause I'm broken, when I'm open
And I don't feel like I'm strong enough
'Cause I'm broken, when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel light when you're gone away
-Seether-
The train ride to Hogsmeade was relatively uneventful for the raven-haired teen. Molly Weasley had kept the redheads at bay long enough for Harry to gather his thoughts and come up with some sort of story to tell them. He wasn't quite ready to share his experience with Ron and feared the hot-tempered teen's reaction towards Draco should the truth ever come out.
Harry settled on giving them the cryptic excuse of his holiday being Order business. The redheads weren't too happy with it but luckily the twins backed Harry's statement. Ron and Hermione were glad to see Harry of course, but spent the bulk of the trip in the Prefect car, keeping order and what not.
Rumour on the train was that Draco Malfoy was strangely absent and even his gorilla-like goons had no idea where he could be. Harry had a feeling that Draco was unable to face the rest of the school without Snape nearby and chose to accompany the Potions' Master to Hogwarts early. Harry felt a pang of jealousy, which was strange, but he didn't dwell on it.
The only other thing bothering the teen was a strange lingering feeling that he'd lost or had forgotten something. That wasn't the odd part though; the odd part was that he had no clue what it was he was missing.
Harry brushed it off as nerves and decided it was best to keep silent through the long ride to Hogsmeade. Though it was still summer, the night air had a bit of a bite to it as the students clamoured out of the train and headed for the Thestral-drawn carriages. Harry still felt a shiver creep up his spine as he remembered the last time he'd come in contact with those beasts. He felt a strong pang of sadness as he missed his godfather terribly. Neville, who was standing next to Harry waiting to climb aboard the carriage, gave the other teen an awkward pat on the back.
"Still hurts?" he asked cautiously.
Harry had a strong urge to snap at his friend but he knew Neville meant well. "Yeah," he finally answered and climbed onto the seat. He was joined by Luna Lovegood, Ginny and a sixth year Ravenclaw he didn't know.
"My name's India Devan," she said quietly as the carriages started away.
Harry gave her a small smile. "Harry Potter."
"I know who you are," she said wryly.
"Of course you do," Harry said a little bitterly.
Ginny rolled her eyes. "You'd think you'd be used to it by now Harry," she chastised.
Harry glared at her a little. "One would think that."
Ginny huffed, still peeved a bit by Harry's lack of answers about his holiday, and turned her gaze out the window.
Neville shifted uncomfortably and drew Luna into a casual conversation about her holiday. The loopy girl prattled on about her father chasing strange beasts in China but Harry wasn't really listening. He waited tensely for the carriage to finally pull up to the castle.
Once the wheels had come to a stop, Harry clamoured out of the carriage and marched up to the entrance. He could see Hermione and Ron directing others toward the Great Hall and Harry paused to stand with them.
"Oh Harry," Hermione said a little sadly, "I do wish you'd accepted the Prefect badge."
Harry shrugged. "I've got enough to do this year as it is. I didn't really want the responsibility."
Ron sniggered a little. "No mate, you just wanted to keep on wandering 'round the castle in your cloak without having to worry about giving yourself a detention."
Harry smiled a little at his friend, knowing they both meant well and knowing both were completely in the dark about what had happened to him. "Yeah, so long as you two don't give me a detention or take points away I'll be happy."
Hermione scowled but Ron grinned and clapped him on the back. "That's what nepotism is for mate!" He elbowed Hermione none too gently. "Right 'Moine?"
Hermione sighed. "You know I'd never do anything like that Harry…but really, do try and stay out of trouble this year. I mean, we've got so much to worry about, NEWT's, graduation, careers…"
Ron gapped at her. " 'Moine, those are a whole year away! We don't need to be bothering with our NEWT's just yet!"
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Suit yourself, but don't come crying to me when you fail your NEWT's and no one in the wizarding world wants to hire you."
Ron rolled his eyes back at her and turned to Harry. "So you're still not going to take Potions?"
Harry shook his head. "No, I don't really want to deal with that stress daily. I mean, once I off Voldemort I don't think I want to spend the rest of my life chasing after the idiots who think they want to be like him. I'd rather settle for something a little calmer."
Hermione watched a group of second year Gryffindors pass, openly gaping at Harry and she glared at them, daring them to say anything. "Move along, the Great Hall's that way. You'd think after a year here you would have learned that!"
The younger students paled and rushed into the hall, muttering something about Prefect bitch under their breath.
Ron and Harry burst into laughter. "Merlin Hermione, I didn't know you had it in you," Ron gasped out.
Hermione crossed her arms. "Well they don't need to just stand there and stare at Harry. He's not an exhibit in the bloody zoo!"
Harry shot her a grateful smile but it was soon replaced with a frown as he felt his scar begin to tingle. "Er…can we go sit?"
Ron looked at Harry's face and he became immediately concerned. "Harry mate, you okay?"
Harry nodded but as he did, the tingling increased. "I just need to sit."
The trio started forward just as a large group of Slytherins passed them. Harry noticed that Draco was among them and he was watching Harry carefully.
"Oh great," Ron muttered. "Malfoy."
Draco stopped at the sound of his name and stared at Ron. He gave a small sneer, but said nothing as the group moved past them. "Not worth wasting my breath," Draco muttered to Pansy Parkinson who was clinging to his arm.
The trio had no choice but to follow the Slytherins closely as they walked into the hall. The tingling in Harry's scar started to progress to intense pain as the teen started towards the Gryffindor table. His eyes watered as he groped for the nearest body. It happened to be Draco, but the pain prevented Harry from caring about keeping up the animosity front.
"Draco," Harry hissed, "get me out of here."
Draco's eyes flickered to Harry's scar for a moment before he pulled away. "Get your slimy mudblood tainted hands off me Potty!" he sneered in a raised voice to alert one of the teachers.
Ron pulled Harry away from Draco and glowered at the blonde. "Like he'd want to touch you, you foul little ferret."
Draco turned on his heel and marched towards the Slytherin table with his friends in tow. Harry cried out as his scar split open and he sank into unconsciousness.
()
The teen woke sometime later in the hospital wing. It was quite dark though the sky was turning a faint blue signalling that it was most likely near dawn. Harry stretched and absently rubbed at his scar that no longer hurt. It was strange waking up like this for Harry because for the first time since his scar had started to act like that, he did not remember having a vision.
Looking around the room, he noticed that he was alone and still clothed in his school robes. Wanting a hot shower, Harry toed on his trainers and started down the hall. The teen walked as quickly as his tired and slightly sore body would let him and made his way up the agonizing flight of stairs and stopped in front of the fat lady.
"Ah bugger," he cursed, "I have no idea what the password is."
The fat lady yawned sleepily and looked at him out of one eye. "No password no admittance," she said irritably.
Harry sighed and kicked the side of the wall. "Fine, I'll just wear the robes I slept in," he muttered. "You'd think after having me here for six years you'd remember me," he grumbled as he walked down to the bathrooms to wash under the hot water.
Despite having to don the same robes, Harry felt much better after his quick shower. Students were slowly starting to filter in to ready themselves for classes so Harry thought it would be a good time to catch someone from Gryffindor to learn the password.
Harry made it halfway up the stairs before he ran face first into Dennis Creevy. The smaller boy gasped and sputtered a fierce apology to Harry blushing furiously.
"It's fine," Harry muttered irritably. "I've been in the hospital wing and I haven't gotten the password."
"Oh," Dennis said still sounding breathless. "The password's knightmove."
Harry nodded. "Thanks." Ignoring the look from the boy that stated he had more questions, Harry dashed up the remaining steps and gave the fat lady the password. He clamoured through the portrait hole and swiftly walked up to his rooms.
Seamus and Dean had already departed but Ron was still snoring away in his bed. Chuckling, Harry found his trunk and pulled out clean robes and changed quickly. He sat down on the edge of his bed and threw a pillow at Ron to wake him.
"Oi!" Ron shouted chucking the pillow half-heartedly back at Harry. "You could just prod me or something you great prat."
Harry snickered. "That wouldn't have been as much fun," the teen declared. "It's time to wake up ickle Ronnikins!" he cooed in a sing-song voice. "Breakfast will be served soon and I want to get my timetable early enough to grab my books."
Ron grumbled though he eventually got out of the bed and lazily threw on his robes. After tying his shoes, the redhead raked his fingers through his hair, not doing a very good job though it still managed to look neater than Harry's messy mop.
The two teens made their way out of their dormitory and walked to the Great Hall to meet up with Hermione. The bushy-haired teen was sitting at the table eating alone with her nose buried in her new Charms tome.
Harry and Ron sat down next to her closely followed by a yawning Dean and a bleary eyed Seamus.
"All right Seamus?" Harry asked with a grin as the Irish boy plopped down and gave a jaw-cracking yawn.
Seamus rubbed his eyes sleepily and began to fill his plate. "I would be had I gotten a full night's sleep. But thanks to someone and his snoring," he said glaring at Ron, "I'm forced to function with only half a brain."
Ron snickered. "Half a brain's all you got," he quipped.
Seamus showed Ron his middle finger as he stuffed his face with his breakfast. Hermione had long since put her book away and she was staring pointedly at Harry. The raven-haired teen shifted uncomfortably under her gaze.
"What 'Moine?" he finally snapped.
Hermione huffed indignantly. "Well are you going to tell us what happened or are you going to make us wait?"
Harry sighed and ruffled his hair. He really didn't want to have this conversation. He wasn't ready to share what happened with his friends and he was afraid that they would single out Draco for it. He was also quite unready to relive his experience at the Malfoy Manor.
"What are you on about?" he finally chanced weakly.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "What the hell happened to you last night? One moment you were fine and the next you were clinging on to Malfoy."
Harry fought to keep control of his breath. "I erm…well I just grabbed onto whoever was closest to me cos my scar was hurting," he finished lamely. "I didn't mean to grab Malfoy."
Ron glared at Hermione. "His scar's hurt before 'Moine, what's with the third degree?"
Hermione sat back and shrugged. "I'm not trying to pester you Harry, but last night was different. When you black out, normally you channel V-Voldemort and you scream, or say things. Last night you just went sort of limp and clammy. Prof Snape ended up carrying you to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey wouldn't let us in there but Prof Snape came out about a half hour later and said you would be fine."
"Greasy bastard took five points from me," Ron said through a mouthful of toast. "Just because I tried to go in after he told us to go to bed."
Harry kept silent feeling slightly weird that Prof Snape had been the one to bring him to the hospital wing and oddly comforted by the same thought. "I'm fine now," Harry said to Hermione after a few moments. "I don't remember having a vision but it could be something else Voldemort is up to. I plan on talking to Prof Dumbledore later on this afternoon."
"Yes you will Mr. Potter," came the voice of McGonagall. She was walking among the table handing out the timetables. "Prof Dumbledore would like to see you just after lunch." She leaned in and lowered her voice. "The password is Peppermint Imps."
Harry took his timetable and nodded. "Thank you Prof McGonagall."
The older woman gave Harry a sympathetic and knowing look before handing the rest of the students their bits of parchment. Harry fought back a groan, hating that the teachers knew about him and wondering when he was going to be allowed to just get over it.
Harry was just finishing his breakfast when he got the overwhelming sensation that he'd lost something again. It was like it had been before only this time the pull was stronger. Harry glanced down at his timetable and sighed. "I've got to get my Charms and Transfiguration tomes…and…er something else. I'll be right back."
Ron stood up. "I'll go with you, I've got to get my books as well."
Hermione huffed, "You two should have come prepared," she said going into lecture mode.
Harry looked at Ron who rolled his eyes. "Spare us," he moaned dramatically. "We promise we shall never do something so stupid again so long as you spare us the lecture this time."
Hermione snorted. "Nothing I could give you could stop the two of you from doing those outrageously stupid things."
Harry grinned and grabbed Ron's arm. "We'll take that answer," he announced and dashed out of the hall with his best friend in tow.
The two teens raced up to the tower and gasped the password to the fat lady. "Why're we in such a hurry?" Ron asked as Harry burst into their room and pulled open his trunk.
"Oh I've just…well I've lost something and I have to find it," Harry explained with a wave of his hand. "I just need to locate it before we go to class." He tossed his quill, ink, parchment and tomes in his rucksack and chucked it at Ron. "Take that for me, will you? I'll be down in the common room in just a second."
Ron gave Harry a strange, quizzical look as he grabbed his own book-bag and headed down to wait for his friend who, if truth be told, was acting very oddly…more so than usual.
Harry meanwhile was tearing apart his trunk searching for the unnamed item he'd lost but nothing was making the feeling go away. He emptied out his clothing, his books, his supplies, and nearly everything he owned but nothing seemed to be the lost item. Finally Harry wedged himself between the floor and his bed searching the underside for anything loose that may have rolled under but again found nothing.
He was just standing up, brushing the dust from his robes when Ron came back into the room. "Harry er…what were you doing?" he asked eyeing the severe coating of dust on the raven-haired teen.
Harry shrugged. "Just looking. I told you I'd only be a minute."
"Well you were fifteen minutes," Ron said sounding a little irritated, "and now we're nearly late for Charms."
"Shite," Harry cursed and dashed down the stairs after Ron. He grabbed his book-bag and they ran out of the tower as fast as they could, lost item momentarily forgotten.
()
The first half of the day passed rather quickly for Harry, though halfway through Transfigurations the feeling he was missing something very important came back full force. He found himself absently emptying his pockets and even took to ruffling through his rucksack so often that Prof McGonagall had to ask him to stop.
Blushing furiously, Harry shoved the bag under his chair and tried desperately to pay attention to the lesson. Ron and Hermione were now watching him closely though they tried to be discreet about it. The pair lagged slightly behind their friend as they made their way to the Great Hall for lunch.
The trio sat at their usual spot and Hermione began to doll out large portions of the steak and kidney pie. Harry began to stuff his face with relish, suddenly feeling absolutely starving.
"Wow mate," Ron commented carefully, "usually I'm the one to inhale my food. I saw you eat at breakfast so you couldn't be starving yourself…"
Hermione rolled her eyes at the redhead. She was worried about Harry's behaviour but she wasn't worried about his eating habits. Leave it to Ron to be so thick when it came to the real problem. "Ron, do shut up," she snapped.
Harry snickered and took another large bite. "I dunno why I'm so hungry," he said with a shrug. "Guess I'm just trying to catch up from being starved at the Dursleys…" he stopped and clamped his jaw shut. He hadn't meant to mention the Dursleys. They were dead and he wasn't ready to come to terms with that. He wasn't ready to think of three more people who'd lost their lives because of him.
Hermione frowned at the sudden change in her friend but was careful with her words. "Harry, did something happen this summer that you aren't telling us?"
Harry sighed. "I er…well yeah but I can't tell you until Prof Dumbledore gives me the okay."
Hermione smiled and nodded though Ron turned a bit red. "We understand Harry," Hermione said quickly seeing Ron's face. "We'll be here when you're ready to tell us."
Harry smiled at Hermione, thankful he had one friend who could see reason and wouldn't push him. He finished his lunch a little slower now that the thought of death had somewhat dampened his appetite. Finally he pushed his plate away and sighed. "I've got to go see Prof Dumbledore. See you lot later?"
Ron nodded. "Yeah. Hermione's got Potions and we've got Divination. But we'll be together in DADA later this afternoon."
Harry smiled. "If I look like I'm going to be late could you grab my books?"
"Sure mate," Ron said with a half smile.
"Thanks," Harry said and slowly walked out of the hall. He knew his friends weren't going to tolerate his silence for much longer and he knew he could only use the Dumbledore card for so long. In any other circumstance Harry would have immediately told his friends, Dumbledore be damned. But now…well now it wasn't the information that shouldn't be relayed…it was his absolute fear of having to relive the experience.
Harry didn't notice that he'd come to a stop in the hall and was searching his pockets again and only looked up when he heard a drawling voice say, "Potter, what are you doing?"
Harry looked up and saw Malfoy standing in the corridor alone, watching him with his arms crossed. "I was going to see Prof Dumbledore," Harry replied absently, still searching.
"No, what are you doing digging through your pockets like that?" Draco clarified. "You've been acting rather odd lately."
Harry snorted. "When don't I act odd Malfoy?"
Draco gave a small smile and shrugged. "True." He watched Harry still riffling through his robes and he sighed. "What exactly are you looking for?"
Harry pulled his hands out of his robes and blushed. "Erm, I dunno exactly. I've been looking for something since yesterday but I don't know what it is. I just have this strange feeling like I've lost something and…" he trailed off and shrugged. "Well I think I'd better find it if it can effect me this way, don't you?"
Draco frowned darkly. "I don't know about that Potter. Sounds dodgy to me. Have you asked Sev-er Prof Snape?"
Harry shook his head. "Not yet. I was thinking about going to see him tonight but right now I've got to talk to Prof Dumbledore."
"And you're standing here in the middle of the hall fondling your robes why…?" Draco drawled.
Harry blushed again. "I guess when the urge to find what I've lost hits me hard I don't notice I'm doing this."
Draco frowned even deeper. "Definitely dodgy," he said. "I'd ask Prof Dumbledore if he know anything. That's…just not normal even for the wizarding world."
Harry laughed and started down the hall again. "See you ferret-boy," he called lightly.
Draco showed Harry his middle finger and smirked before walking in the opposite direction. Harry wondered when exactly it was he had forgiven Draco…and though he was still hurt by it, he truthfully couldn't bring himself to hate the blonde. Even after all the years of rivalry and the years of listening to Malfoy berate the Weasleys. Harry guessed that now he understood the blonde a little better and while his actions hadn't been excusable, the reason he did them was.
Harry found himself standing in front of the Gargoyle and gave it the password. He fidgeted slightly as he rode the steps up to Dumbledore's office and found the large Mahogany door wide open.
Walking in, Harry smiled at Dumbledore and took a seat across from the desk. "Harry my boy," the old man said, "how are you feeling today?"
Harry shrugged. "Not bad I suppose. I woke up a little sore but after a shower I felt better."
Dumbledore chuckled. "Yes Poppy had kittens when she came to check on you this morning and found you'd left your bed."
Harry blushed. "Oh. I didn't think about letting her know I was leaving," he said lamely.
Dumbledore waved his hand. "We all knew you weren't seriously hurt. You know Poppy, bit of a mother hen."
Harry smiled. "Yeah, but she does take good care of me."
Dumbledore poured two cups of tea and handed one to Harry. "So…what happened last night in the Great Hall Harry?"
The teen took a sip of the hot, sweet liquid before answering. "Er, I don't know exactly."
"Was it Voldemort?"
Harry shrugged. "I don't know, but I do know I didn't have a vision. Well, not one I can remember anyway."
Dumbledore didn't seem surprised by this information but he did not bother to clarify why. Instead he sipped his tea and watched Harry for a long moment. "Anything else come to your attention Harry?"
Harry nodded but felt a bit embarrassed by such a simple problem. "Er, well I've been having this strange feeling that I've lost something," he said softly. "And well, sometimes it gets so strong that I start to search through my robes and my rucksack and I don't even notice I'm doing it."
Dumbledore ran a hand over his beard. "Hmm, well that's rather interesting."
Harry shrugged. "D'you think it has something to do with Voldemort?"
"No Harry I don't, but we can't be too sure. Keep me informed of any changes and if you need anything at all, feel free to see one of the Professors. I'm sure that Prof Snape would make time for you if you needed him." Harry missed the strange insinuation in Dumbledore's voice.
"Yeah he told me that before," Harry replied gathering his things. "Thanks Prof Dumbledore."
The old man smiled and watched Harry walk out the door. "Now all we need is for Severus to start feeling his symptoms and all will fall into place," he said softly.
"They're going to hate you for this," Minerva said walking into the room. "Severus is not going to take this lightly."
"Yet he will accept it…if only to save Harry from insanity."
Minerva pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Albus, you're playing a very dangerous game."
"That I am," he commented popping a sherbet lemon into his mouth. "But I always do, and I always win."
A/N-- Sorry this took ages to update but I'm fighting tooth and nail to keep my writer's block at bay. I know where this story is going but I can't seem to write on it steadily. Oh well I suppose.
And I would also like to point out that the Gryffindor Password Knightmove is actually a friend of mine with BRILLIANT stories that you should all go and check out. They're slash which is wonderful and she writes under the name Knight-move!