Chapter 5 - Weathering the inevitable

Buffy and Angel had thought about telling the others one person at a time, but finally decided to get it over and done with and tell them all together. Buffy had invited Willow, Xander and Giles over to her mom's house. She hadn't told them why she wanted to see them. Buffy was glad that at least Willow knew already and was on their side. Xander was the only other person she was certain on which side he was, namely not on theirs. Giles and her mother were harder to predict. She had told Angel that he shouldn't worry about Giles, but now she wasn't so sure anymore. She hoped he would be happy for her. But Angel had a point. He had killed the woman Giles had loved and now he was the father of his protégé's baby. How well would that go over with him? Buffy was the most worried about her mom. She would probably freak out. Buffy had some hope that the baby might placate her because it was at least an inch of a normal life she had always wanted for her daughter. But could she overlook the fact that the father was not normal at all?

"Relax, it's gonna be fine," Angel said, when they approached the house. They had deliberately been late to avoid having to explain to her mother what Angel was doing here before the others would arrive.

"Wasn't I the one who had to reassure you last night?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, so why are you so jittery today?"

"Why aren't you?" Buffy asked surprised and definitely on edge herself.

"Well, I was thinking that since Willow is on our side, she won't put a spell on me for getting you pregnant. Your mother probably isn't too proficient with a stake to be a threat. Xander I can take out easily. Giles probably needs some tea first before he decides on how to punish me. And after a cup of tea he hopefully sees the error in killing your baby's father."

"Interesting train of thought," Buffy said, not feeling better one bit.

Angel stopped her and grabbed her shoulders gently but firmly. "That was my try at lightening the situation. Since it didn't work too well, here is my second set of thoughts. Buffy, no matter what happens in there I will not leave. And I won't let anybody take you or our baby away from me. I don't care what they will think of me or of you. It's not important. The only thing that is important is that we are together and that we are there for our baby. We can do this with our without them. Of course I would prefer to have them on our side, but it is not a necessity. If need be, we can do this without them." Angel looked at her searchingly, waiting to see some sign that his words had sunk in.

Buffy tried to muster a smile and nodded. "I guess."

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Buffy."

Buffy took a deep breath. Angel put his arm around her shoulder and steered her towards the house again.

"Where is Buffy?" Xander asked impatiently.

"I'm sure she was held up. Maybe she came across some vamps on her way here," Willow said.

"Can I offer anybody something to drink?" Joyce asked. "Would you like some tea, Mr. Giles?"

"Um… no, thank you, Mrs. Summers. Maybe we should wait until Buffy arrives to see what it is she wanted to tell us first. But thank you for the offer," Giles replied politely.

"Willow? Xander?"

"No, thank you," Willow said, way too jumpy to even think about drinking anything.

"Sure, I'll have some lemonade" Xander said. Willow gave him a disapproving look and Xander amended, "Water will do. Thanks."

Joyce was still in the kitchen when Buffy came through the door. When Angel came in right after her, Xander burst out, "What is he doing here?"

Willow hit him lightly on the shoulder and admonished him. "Xander, behave!"

"Hi, everyone," Buffy said reserved. That moment, Joyce returned with Xander's drink. "Hi, mom."

"Buffy. Angel," Joyce said surprised. Not knowing what else to say, she asked awkwardly, "Would you like something to drink?"

"No. Um… we have some things to tell you."

"We?" Xander said unbelievingly. "Please don't tell me you are letting that thing back into your life. Our lives. I'd like to reach the average life span of a male American citizen. And with him around that's not gonna happen."

Buffy had expected backlash from Xander. But it still hurt.

"Xander!" Willow admonished him again.

"No, I will say this. Don't tell me you are on her side. He tried to kill us."

"Will you at least let them finish first?" Willow asked.

"Buffy, what is this all about?" Joyce asked.

"Mom, I… we…" Buffy stuttered.

Giles noticed how Angel was holding Buffy's hand and how Buffy dug her fingers into his hand. It must have hurt even him. She seemed extremely tense. Angel lightly stroked his thumb over her skin in an effort to calm her down. This was more than a simple case of we-are-back-together. What else could there possibly be that would make her so anxious? "Buffy, you asked us here to tell us something. It seems we are all here now. What is it you wanted to tell us?" Giles prodded with a kind voice.

Angel squeezed her hand and Buffy took a deep breath. "Well, where to start?" Buffy chuckled nervously.

"You could start from the beginning," Giles suggested calmly.

"It has to do with the problems I had with my slaying… um… with some vamps." Buffy kept it deliberately vague as to not upset her mother more than necessary. "I went to LA to find out more. Angel took me to see a friend of his. He…" Buffy took a deep breath and decided to do it the blunt way, since that was what she did best. "I'm pregnant."

Willow gave Buffy an encouraging nod.

"And Angel is the father."

Xander's mouth fell open and would have fit a whole swarm of bees in it. Joyce looked at her daughter as if she had grown horns. Giles took off his glasses, but forgot what he wanted to do with them and kept holding them in front of him in mid-air.

When after a few seconds nobody had said a word, Willow ran over to Buffy, embraced her and joyfully said with an unnecessarily loud voice, "Congratulations!" Expectantly she looked at the other people in the room, hoping someone else would join her in her jubilation. Her plan failed miserably.

When her gaze fell on Xander, he said accusingly, "You knew, didn't you? You knew."

"Nice try, Will," Buffy said. "I appreciate it."

"Buffy, did I hear you right? Did you say you are pregnant?" Joyce asked.

"Yes, mom."

Joyce sat down on the sofa.

Giles looked at Buffy, then at Angel. "How? How could that be? You are still a vampire, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am."

"Then how?"

Angel looked at Buffy to see if she wanted to explain this part.

"You tell them."

"I was human for one day. But I had to turn back the day. Nobody but me remembered that day. Not even Buffy remembered it happened at all."

"Human?"

"Yes, I came in contact with the blood of a Mohra demon."

"A Mohra demon? I have only read of them, but I didn't know they could have that effect on vampires."

"Me neither."

"How interesting. And did it reverse everything or just certain aspects of your vampirism?" Giles asked intrigued.

"Everything."

"You mean you were able to walk in sunlight?"

"Yes."

"Fascinating."

"Excuse me, can we please come back to the matter at hand?" Joyce asked in disbelief.

"I absolutely agree," Xander said. "How could you sleep with him, Buffy?"

"He was human, Xander."

"I guess we have to take your word for that," Xander snorted.

"I was human and there was no risk involved," Angel said calmly.

"Except for Buffy getting pregnant by you," Xander spat back.

"Buffy, you are barely nineteen," Joyce pointed out.

"Mom, I know that. But for me chances to turn even 25 are very slim. I don't want to leave a baby behind, but if I ever want to have one, now is better for me than later."

"I will not let any harm come to you, Buffy," Angel said.

"I am the Slayer, Angel. There is nothing you can do about that."

"But, Buffy, this obviously wasn't planned and-" Joyce started.

"It wasn't, and I don't care. I want this baby."

Angel's eyes lit up. He looked at Buffy joyfully. It was the first time she had said that she really wanted the baby.

"But, Buffy, what about Riley?"

"Riley? How can you think about Riley right now?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"He is a nice young man. How could you deceive him like this?"

"Deceive him? We didn't even date."

"But he likes you."

Buffy couldn't believe this. How could somebody be so in denial? "But I love Angel."

Angel stared at Joyce with cold eyes. "Mrs. Summers, I don't care what you think of me. But I will not leave my baby to be raised by somebody else. I will not leave Buffy ever again!"

His words made Buffy happy. It was the first time he didn't suggest she would be better off with somebody else than him.

"Mom, why can't you understand? This is what I always wanted. This is an absolute miracle. This baby shouldn't even be here, because its conception basically never happened. And it might have been an accident, but it is absolutely wanted."

"But-"

"Mom, please, just be happy for me. Because this is the only child I will ever have. There won't be another one." Joyce started to say something, but Buffy went on. "I will never want a child with somebody else after this. Never did in the first place. This is your only shot at being a grandmother."

Buffy waited for her mother to say something. But she just sat on the couch and looked back and forth between her daughter and Angel.

"Please, mom, I know this is a shock. It was for us, too, at first. Just think about it, okay? I'll stay at the mansion tonight."

Buffy and Angel turned towards the door. Xander wanted to say something. But Willow, who had been observing him closely to prevent him from doing anything stupid, hissed at him, "Don't even think about it!"

Xander gave Willow a defying look. He was just about to say something, when Giles stepped into his field of view and instead of glaring at Buffy and Angel's backs Xander now looked into the threatening eyes of Giles. They unnerved Xander long enough for Buffy and Angel to shut the door behind them without realizing what was going on.

Xander started to go after them, but again Giles stepped into his way. "Buffy was gracious enough to invite us here tonight to share some very important news with her closest family and friends. I think your part was nothing else but listening. Be thankful that you were invited at all, for I believe Buffy was aware of how you would react. I don't believe anything you could say would be of much value to any of us right now. And since this wasn't a discussion to begin with but rather an announcement, I suggest you keep your mouth shut."

Angel and Buffy left and made their way back to the mansion.

"Buffy!"

They turned around and saw Giles coming after them.

Giles was worried. He didn't want Buffy to feel she had to run away again, if everything got to be too much. Although with Angel around he wasn't too worried about that. But a pregnant Slayer, the implications were unpredictable. But Buffy didn't need a patronizing speech right now. And he had a feeling Angel would make sure that she was careful. Giles had observed them closely. Despite Buffy's outward nervousness, he had seen something in her tonight that had been missing for quite a while, an inner calmness and contentment. She seemed determined like he had only seen her in battle. She had been anxious about their reactions, but her mind had been made up. Buffy and Angel had presented a united front tonight, consciously or unconsciously, he wasn't sure. And it didn't matter. They finally had what they wanted, each other. And they deserved it. It still hurt sometimes to see Angel, because it was inevitable that his mere presence would remind him of his own loss. But Giles would never sacrifice Buffy's happiness because he had lost Jenny. That had been an accident, an accident that would not have happened if Angel and Buffy would have known the consequences. And that's why he was certain that it wouldn't happen again, especially not with a baby on the way.

Giles came to a halt a few steps away from them. "I just want you to know that… that I am happy for you. You deserve it." Then he looked at Angel. "You both deserve it."

Buffy hugged Giles gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, it means a lot to me to have your support."

"To me, too," said Angel. "It means a lot. Thank you, Giles."

Giles smiled at Buffy and then nodded his head to Angel. "Well, one day you have to tell me about that demon."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "You two can discuss all that when Grandpa Giles comes over to help with the babysitting."

When Buffy and Angel got back to the mansion, Angel asked, "You tired?"

"No, I'm fine. That went actually rather well, don't you think? Hardly any yelling."

"No staking."

"That's always a plus. Well, at least for you."

"You sure you don't want to lie down? You didn't get much sleep lately."

"No, I'm still too wired."

Angel sat down on the couch. Opening his arms to her, Angel said, "Come here."

Buffy just looked at him thoughtfully.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I've just waited so long for you to say that to me." Buffy smiled and went over to him, settling in his arms.

"Buffy, no matter what your mom says or does once she had some time to think everything through, I would like you to move to the mansion permanently."

Buffy was happy, this was all her dreams coming true. But it was fast, very fast. Maybe too fast? Or too good to be true?

"We don't know if your powers will get better or worse. Even if they stay like they are now, I want to be able to protect you. I can do that here at lot better than at your house."

"I see your point."

"And you'd have a lot more room here. We could even get you some mirrors." Angel looked at Buffy expectantly.

"I don't know if I want those mirrors anymore," Buffy answered unenthusiastically.

"Why not?"

"I don't need a reminder when I get fat and ugly."

"You will never be fat and ugly. You will be beautiful when you start showing. Expect to be ogled all the time. I am planning on relishing that sight and savoring every moment of your pregnancy." Because Buffy had been right when she had told her mother that this would be their only child.

Buffy tried to make herself more comfortable on the couch.

"Do you think that is a good position for the baby? You'd be more comfortable in bed."

Buffy was reluctant. She wanted to, but they hadn't talked about how this was gonna work yet, like sleeping arrangements and such. Angel didn't wait for an answer and simply swept her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom.

Lying on the bed safely encased in Angel's arms, Buffy finally asked, "What about the curse?"

"We'll deal. We've done it before."

"Don't you want to look for a cure?" Buffy asked.

"I do. But first, I want you to realize that if we don't find a cure, it isn't a deal-breaker. I'm here to stay, no matter if we can get rid of the curse. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Second, there are more important things to take care of right now."

"Can't you ask those Oracles?"

"They were already reluctant to give you back the memories. They didn't think it was necessary. And then they threw me out. Just like that. They are not very cooperative if one wants something from them."

"But we could ask."

"We could."

"When we go to LA."

"Yeah."

"You don't seem very enthusiastic."

"Sorry, I just don't want you to get your hopes up unnecessarily. They are moody people. They have a lot of power. When I think what they could have done and spared us. But they never did."

"It's worth a try."

"It is. But the baby has priority right now. We can look for a cure, as long as it involves me and you in the same city. I just don't want to leave you alone, at least not more than necessary."

They were both quiet for a while, each deep in their own thoughts.

"Can I…?" Angel started.

"Can you what?"

"May I touch your belly?"

Buffy rolled onto her back, pushed up her top a little, took Angel's hand and laid it on her stomach. "Sure."

Buffy watched Angel closely. He looked mesmerized and lovingly at where his hand was touching her stomach. He smiled a big smile. When Angel noticed Buffy observing him, he looked deeply into her eyes. "I love you so much. You and our baby."

Buffy smiled happily. "Me too."

Angel kept stroking her belly, until his hand brushed over her ribs. "You are thinner than I remember," he said concerned.

"I missed you?" Buffy suggested sheepishly.

"You need to eat more. How about we get you something?"

"I'm so comfy here."

"I have nothing here. Sorry. We'll change that soon. But for now, I could go out and get you something. What do you want?" Angel sat up.

Buffy grabbed his hand. "I want to not be separated from you." She sat up as well. "But I am hungry. Let's go."

They went out and got something to eat for Buffy. She was indeed hungry and finished her food in the car. And then she fell asleep before they even arrived back at the mansion. Angel carried her inside and settled her into bed. Buffy slept through it all.

The next morning Joyce made her way to the mansion. She had hardly slept at all.

"Mrs. Summers. Please, come in."

"Thanks. Is Buffy here?"

"Yes, but she is still asleep. Can I offer you some coffee?"

"Coffee?"

"Yeah, coffee."

"Um... sure."

Angel led her into the kitchen, where he had been cooking breakfast. He put the pan back on the stove and turned over some pancakes. A plate with freshly cut fruit was sitting on the table.

"You are making breakfast?" Joyce asked dumbfounded.

"Buffy needs to eat properly."

"Oh… um… yeah, she does." Joyce didn't know what else to say.

Angel handed her a cup of coffee. "It's decaf though. I didn't buy anything else."

Joyce took the cup from him. "Thanks."

Seeing how Angel was making breakfast for Buffy was not really what she had expected. She didn't know what she had expected, but this somehow wasn't it.

The silence was getting awkward.

"So, are you planning on moving back to Sunnydale?" Joyce finally asked.

"I would prefer to wait until Buffy joins us to talk about anything like that."

"Oh, okay."

Joyce sipped on her coffee.

"How is the gallery going?" Angel asked.

"Good."

Angel flipped over another pancake.

"How do you like LA?" Joyce asked.

"It's okay. I've been there before."

"Oh, I see."

They were both silent after that. Angel continued making pancakes and Joyce sipped on her coffee.

Joyce observed Angel closely without being too obvious. She had thought he was gone for good. She had thought him to be an infatuation, a first crush. Buffy had never been very forthcoming about anything concerning Angel. Joyce had taken that as an indicator that there couldn't be many positive aspects to the relationship, if Buffy kept it a secret. And he had killed people.

Out of the blue, without looking up from his pancakes, Angel said calmly, "I won't leave her again, no matter what you have to say, Mrs. Summers. Nobody will ever separate me from Buffy again, or our baby. Never again." It wasn't a threat, it wasn't an accusation, it wasn't a justification. It was simply a statement.

His bold declaration of devotion towards Buffy and the baby surprised Joyce. Just like him making breakfast even though he didn't need any had surprised her. Angel really seemed to care deeply about Buffy. But then, Joyce had never taken the time to get to know him. And she had to admit that she wasn't really aware of much that was going on in her daughter's life to begin with. But what Joyce did know was how difficult it was to raise a teenager on her own. But raising a baby on her own? She would never wish that on Buffy, or the baby. Joyce was aware how hard it had been for Buffy to grow up without her father. Angel was willing to stay with Buffy and his child. And hadn't she been the one to tell him to leave Buffy in the first place? Had she been too rash with her judgment?

Joyce's train of thought was disrupted by Buffy coming into the kitchen.

"Mom," Buffy said surprised. She hadn't expected her mother so soon after last night.

"Good morning, Buffy."

"Morning." She went over to Angel and hugged him, needing the support and reassurance of his touch to brace for what her mother would have to say. "That smells good."

Angel gave her a quick kiss on the head, seeming rather unconcerned about her mother in his kitchen. "Do you want juice or milk?" he asked.

"I smell coffee," Buffy pointed out.

"Juice or milk first, then you can have coffee."

Buffy pouted, but Angel stayed firm. "I got all this healthy food for you and the baby. You get your coffee, but babies are not really allowed to drink coffee. So you have to pick something else for the baby first."

Buffy couldn't help but be touched by his words. "Aw, that is so sweet of you." She raised herself on her toenails and kissed him chastely. In the back of her mind she was still aware that somebody else was in the room.

"Sweet? That's not exactly what I was aiming for," Angel said.

Joyce observed everything closely. If she had had that discussion with her daughter it would have probably developed into a full-grown argument.

Buffy grabbed the milk from the fridge and Angel prepared a plate with pancakes and fruit for her. "Would you like some, too, Mrs. Summers? I made plenty."

"Oh, no, thank you. I already ate."

After Buffy had eaten a few bites, Joyce asked, "How do you plan on doing this?"

"Mom, we only found out three days ago. It's all still a bit overwhelming."

"Mrs. Summers, I can't tell you how we are going to do this exactly right now. But I can promise you that we will work this out. Buffy is still very early in her pregnancy. We have plenty of time to get everything in order until the baby arrives. I will move back to Sunnydale. But I'll keep my business in LA. I will be able to provide for her."

"What about slaying?"

"Angel will help me out."

"I think you should stop completely, Buffy. You might get hurt."

"Mom, I can't stop," Buffy said exasperated. "I'm the only one to do it."

"Buffy, we do have to consider alternatives for your slaying," Angel said. "I can do it."

"You can't take over my patrol and still go to LA once in a while to do cases there. I think I am starting to figure out what exactly causes my powers to desert me. I think I can influence it, to a degree."

"Desert you?" her mother asked confused.

"Ops."

"Buffy, what are you not telling me?"

Buffy sighed. "Well, since I've gotten pregnant, my slaying powers are not cooperating too well."

"Could you please drop the slayer jargon?" Joyce asked annoyed.

"What do you mean you think you can influence it?" Angel asked.

"Well, it only kicks in – or rather signs off - when my body thinks the baby is in danger. If I slay from a distance, let's say crossbow, it shouldn't happen."

"That doesn't mean you won't get involved in hand-to-hand combat."

"No, but it will reduce the risk greatly. I do like to confront my vamps directly and let them see who's staking them. I find it unfair to stake them from behind. And it's less fun. But I guess, for a couple of months I could try to keep myself in check." Buffy grinned.

Angel didn't look too happy with her suggestion. Joyce was completely baffled by the conversation that was going on. "So the baby is making you weak, weaker than normal, I mean?"

"Kind of. But it's only temporarily. As soon as the danger is over, my powers come back and even if I do get hurt, I heal as quickly as before. So it's only painful for a while."

"I still don't like it, Buffy," Angel said.

"But the baby is alright?" Joyce asked, still confused.

"Yes, it is."

"Have you been to a doctor yet?"

"Mom, please, we'll take care of it. But I am not even far enough that it shows up on a pregnancy test for sure. It would be rather strange if I show up there and tell them that I think I am pregnant."

"Then how did you find out at all?"

Buffy looked at Angel, considering whether to tell her mother the truth. Angel just shrugged his shoulders. "A green demon told me while I sang karaoke."

"What? Is that a joke?"

"Nope."

"Buffy, you have to get checked out by some serious doctor, not by some witch demon."

"Mom, please…" Buffy had a hard time not to point out that a demon and a witch were not the same thing. Any witch would be greatly insulted. And probably most demons as well.

"Are you sure the baby is fine? I mean…," she looked uneasily at Angel.

"Mom, don't you think that we want to know that our baby is alright, too? Lorne assured me that the baby is fine. And yes, it is completely human."

"Lorne?"

"The green demon."

"Buffy…," Joyce said disapprovingly.

"Mom, he is probably more qualified to judge something like that than any doctor we could ask. Please, mom, just trust me on this."

"Okay, I get it," Joyce said offended. "No interfering from your mother in things she has no clue about."

"Mom, don't be like this. We want you involved in this pregnancy. But there are some things I wish you would just trust me with. We are not normal people and never will be. You have to come to accept that one day."

Joyce looked at her daughter and finally nodded. "Okay, I'll try."

"Thanks, that's all I am asking. And, mom?"

"Yes."

"I am planning on moving here permanently."

Joyce surprised her daughter by not objecting right away. She was contemplating what she had witnessed before. Joyce had never seen her daughter so at ease. And whatever tension there was was most likely because of her coming here unexpectedly. Buffy would be taken care of here a lot better. She never objected to Angel's fussing and coaxing. Joyce's own pushing and begging had changed nothing about Buffy's eating habits over the last months. She had noticed that Buffy's appetite had gone and she had worried, but she hadn't been able to do anything about it. Today it didn't even seem to be an issue anymore.

"Mom?"

"I heard you."

"And?"

"Well, you are starting your own family. A family should be together," her mother said a bit sadly.

"Mom, you are part of that family."

Joyce tried to give her daughter a smile.

"Mom, I'll still be around."

"Just promise me to be careful."

"I'm always careful."

Joyce gave her a doubtful look.

Angel came up behind Buffy, having deliberately kept in the background. "I'll take good care of her. I promise."

Joyce's mind was not completely at ease yet, but she was by far more reassured than last night.

Note:

Next chapter: Some bumps in the road.