A/N: So... um... xD Really big sorry for the ridiculously long wait. I just went through a massively silly period of not really being inspired to write. It got me annoyed. But the strange thing is, into exam season, I've suddenly found the writing power again xD I'm sure that's not s'posed to happen. But, hope you enjoy this new chappie!

Chapter 17. One Half of the Yin-Yang.

I stayed at the CBI that night, up in my loft, on the make shift bed I used more often than Lisbon liked. I shrugged off my waistcoat, throwing it over the back of the chair by the window. Loosening a few buttons of my shirt, I sank down onto the bed, pulling my legs up and pushing my head into the softness of the pillow. I turned onto my back, my arms draped loosely over my stomach.

A soft milky glow spread over the room from the full moon that hung high over Sacramento. Stars twinkled in the sky, smudged and distorted through the window panes. I let out a soft breath, trying to decide on whether to focus on sleep, the finding of my memory, or Lisbon. I felt sleepy, my eyelids fluttering, trying to shut against my will.

Finally, I let them close, but I couldn't stop my brain from working. I could still taste Lisbon on my lips, and it brought a smile to my face. If only Cho hadn't walked in. I would have quite happily held her for longer.

Those memories ran over and over through my head, and before I had realised, they had guided me into sleep.

I was laying out on a moon-lit beach, the water moving like rippling velvet up the shore. I was staring up at the stars, bathing in the soft glow that fell over me. The grains of sand around me twinkled softly, luminescent in the darkened surroundings. It was peaceful. It felt like a world where nobody had a care in the world, where there was no war, no violence, no hatred, no greed. I didn't feel the need to be anywhere else but there.

But suddenly, I felt something grip around my waist and I was pulled through the sand, straight through, falling, and falling, and falling, until I landed in a chair, bright, cruel lights glaring at me. Restraints snaked around me and a dark figure moved forward, a needle glinting in the light, clear liquid squirting from the tip. I whimpered, trying to move away from the shadow, but I couldn't.

It was when the needle pushed into my arm, that my eyes snapped open, to the pale light of the early sun leaking through the murky windows. I stared at the ceiling, by breathing fast, my throat dry.

Red John.

I could see now. Red John had drugged me; placed a kiss on my forehead before whispering the instructions to kill.

I pulled myself up from the bed, pushing a hand through my tangled hair shakily.

You couldn't hypnotise someone against their will, so he'd taken my freewill away from me.

I got myself up, pulling my waistcoat over my crumpled shirt. I checked my phone for the time. 6.43 am. I hoped Lisbon would be here. I wanted to see her.

Making my way through the corridors and into the main area of the CBI, I probably looked like crap, but that was the least of my worries. I kept scratching at my arm, where I remembered the needle going through my skin. It felt hot, itchy, just from the memory. I soon found myself outside Lisbon's office. I could see her sat at her desk as I pushed through the door, thankful that she was here.

I gave my arm another scratch as I turned around in the space for a few moments, until I decided on heading for the couch. I was suddenly feeling nervous and uncomfortable. I didn't know why. Maybe it was the echo of the image of that mask in my head as it moved towards me with that needle, maybe that unnerving laugh. I didn't know.

'Mor...ning...' Lisbon greeted slowly, watching my erratic movements.

I scratched again.

'Jane, are you ok?'

I let my gaze flicker to hers briefly, seeing her concerned expression. She placed her pen down on the table. Her face was half saying 'What's wrong?' half saying 'You look awful.'

My finger nails kept scraping at my arm every now and then as I spoke.

'I remembered some more.'

Lisbon pushed up from her chair to join me on the couch. 'What happened?'

'Red John. He... he had me tied to a chair. He drugged me so I couldn't resist being hypnotised. He told me to kill you. Told me you'd taken Kristina away.'

I felt myself growing more and more uneasy as the memory kept repeating, like a broken tape recorder. I felt my eyes burning, tears pooling.

'Hey... hey, it's ok. Jane, it's ok.'

I felt Lisbon's hand rest over mine. She looked down at my shaking arm.

'Jane...' she murmured softly, lifting my other hand away from the red rawness just below the crease of my elbow. I stared down at the tiny beads of scarlet blood growing from the surface. I hadn't even realised how much I'd been scratching, but I'd managed to ruin the skin until it bled. I switched my gaze to Lisbon, looking into her eyes until I was brought down to the thin line of pinkish scarring across her throat.

'I'm sorry...' I spoke softly, 'I never wanted you to get hurt.'

I think Lisbon was a little scared. She looked lost; unsure of how to react.

'Jane, I'm fine,' she insisted, 'I'm more worried about you.'

She simply looked at me for a few seconds, before standing from the couch.

'Stay here, I'll be back in a minute.'

Pressing her lips to the top of my head, she left the room.

I sat there, the salty tears in my eyes starting to recede. I ran my hand over the sore flesh on my arm, smearing the droplets of blood across my arm in the process. It stung, but I could barely feel it. This memory was getting to me so much more than the others. I had been tied down and manipulated. I was feeling the fear and helplessness over and over again, every time the memory rewound and repeated. My mind had been penetrated, played with, and my feelings tossed around and mixed up. Red John had played the perfect game to make me feel vulnerable and defenceless. Was that the idea? If the plan didn't go through, then at least he would have played my mind into tangles and knots? I bent over, resting my forehead on my palms, pushing my hands through my hair.

I heard the door open again, the sound of Lisbon returning. I looked up to see her carrying a damp paper towel and a steaming cup of tea. I smiled weakly as she came to sit beside me again. She carefully pressed the cool paper towel against my arm, immediately reducing the burning sting and the itching. She then handed me the cup of tea.

'Thank you,' I offered quietly, staring at the rippling brown liquid, inhaling the soft scent of peppermint.

'Don't worry about it. Try not to let it get to you. I'm ok, you're back. We can make it the rest of the way.'

I nodded, taking a light sip from my cup.

'Besides, Kristina's downstairs in a holding cell. You need to help her. Keep yourself busy. Dr Daniel will be coming in again today. I didn't get round to calling him before, but he can help with Kristina anyway.'

At the sound of Kristina's name, my insides clenched with a strange sense of fear. My heart stepped up a pace. I didn't know why. It was a feeling that made me want to hold Lisbon close, and never let go. I suddenly realised that I couldn't really remember how Lisbon had got the scar on her throat.

'Lisbon...'

'What is it?'

'Why am I scared of Kristina?'

I didn't look at Lisbon, but from the prolonged silence, I could tell she was confused.

'What do you mean?'

'...Something didn't feel right when you said her name.'

'I don't know...' she began, 'Do you remember anything about her? Do you remember what happened yesterday?'

'I remember the police station... I saw her crying. What happened yesterday? I can't...'

'Red John must have hypnotised her too, before you saw her. She was the back up plan. In case you failed.'

'And what, she gave you that?'

I motioned at Lisbon's throat.

'Yes.'

After a moment, I took a sip of tea, trying to push out the bad feelings with the warm cosiness that the tea gave.

The memory resurfaced now. I remembered watching Kristina hold Lisbon back, a knife to her throat while I stood helplessly at the elevator. I remembered feeling the strong sense of fear for Lisbon, the desire to rush forward and snatch her out of harm's way. I remembered seeing the knife slide lightly across Lisbon's flesh, causing droplets of crimson blood to dribble from the wound...

It was just lucky that was only a warning cut, or Lisbon could have been dead, and I would have still been under hypnosis. It was unlikely that anybody else would be able to find the trigger...

I mentally shook myself.

'Can I go and see her?'

'Yeah. I'll take you down.'

Lisbon looked down at my arm, peeling back the now warm paper towel she'd placed over it. The skin was red, but the bleeding had subsided. Carefully, she dabbed away the remnants of the blood stain I'd rubbed across my skin before standing and throwing the towel in the bin.

'Do you want a band aid to cover that up?'

'Why not.' I smiled. Lisbon might as well have been my doctor; she'd already seemed to have patched me up twice before.

Taking me out into the break room, she rifled through one of the cupboards looking for the first aid kit. Before long, she claimed her prize and shut the cupboard door. Walking over to me, she waved a big band aid in front of me.

'Another for the collection?'

Lisbon grinned, peeling off the wrapper, and sticking it over the fiery red patch of skin.

'I should probably take those others off before you start looking like a mummy,' she said, standing back to look at me.

'Certainly don't want that to happen now do we...' I murmured as she reached up for the one on my forehead. I closed one eye as she gently removed the band aid, watching her look of concentration through the other. It brought a smile to my face. Lisbon's eyes moved down to mine briefly, catching my smile.

'What?'

'Nothing.'

'What are we going to be doing today?'

I turned to Eleanor as we walked out of the elevator, tilting my head slightly, 'I don't know. I'll have to work though. I'm sure we can find something for you to do.' I smiled at the red-headed girl.

We had just rounded into the bullpen, Eleanor immediately depositing herself onto the couch, when I caught sight of Jane and Lisbon in the break room. I noticed the smiles on both their faces as Lisbon pulled at a band aid on Jane's forehead. I watched a little longer, realising how normal Jane looked. Happy. Even if he did look a little scruffy and dishevelled still. I felt a smile spread across my own face as I walked round to the entrance of the break room.

'Jane.'

Hearing my voice, Lisbon dropped her arms, taking away the band aid as Jane looked round at me.

'Van Pelt.'

I was about to ask how he was, but suddenly felt more inclined to the 'move forward and hug' option. I enveloped him in a welcoming hug.

'Good to see you're alright again. We were worried.'

'Well it apparently took a few scrapes and bruises, but I'm back.' He smiled back.

'Take it easy for a while, ok?'

'I always take it easy.'

I grinned, 'I guess you do.'

'And you're ok?' I looked to Lisbon.

'Yeah, I'm good.'

From the smile she then gave, I could tell she was happy to have Jane back.

I suddenly heard a frantic whisper of my name from behind me. I turned to see Eleanor hiding behind the wall at the entrance to the break room.

'Uhh...' I began, returning to Jane and Lisbon as Eleanor poked her head out from behind me, chewing the edge of her sleeve tentatively.

'This is Eleanor.'

Jane and Lisbon both looked at her enquiringly.

'Eleanor...?' Lisbon repeated.

'Immer...son,' I replied slowly, biting my lip.

'Eleanor Immerson... as in Jacob Immerson? As in Red John?'

'Mhm...'

While Jane remained a little foggy as to what was going on, Lisbon stared. Eleanor raised the hand that wasn't occupied having its sleeve chewed, to wave sheepishly.

'Van Pelt?' Lisbon muttered through a smile and wave at Eleanor.

I got the message and told Eleanor to go and sit back in the bull pen for a bit. She nodded and left, taking up her middle seat on Jane's couch again. When I turned back, Lisbon was giving me a 'Please do explain' look.

'We found her in the psychiatric hospital in Fresno.'

'And? Why is she here?'

'Uhh... someone fill me in?' Jane asked.

'Well we did want her to stay in Fresno so that if her brother still kept an eye on her, then everything would stay as normal. But...'

'But?'

'She managed to sneak out behind us and hide away in the back of the SUV. We got half way back when we realised she was there... She didn't want to go back.'

I eventually made the connections myself, receiving no help from the two women still in heated discussion. I stuck my head out so I could see the girl sat on my couch.

Red John's sister.

Red John's sister was sat on my couch.

I quietly moved away from the break room, leaving Lisbon and Van Pelt to themselves. My eyes were fixed on the girl as I moved round into the bullpen, approaching my couch. Eleanor watched me walk up to her with a sort of nervous smile on her face.

'Patrick?' she stated simply, lowering her knees from her chin and crossing her legs.

'...How do you know my name?' I asked, stopped in my tracks.

'Grace told me...' she paused, fiddling with her sleeve. 'I heard Jacob hurt you too.'

'What?'

'My brother. Grace told me he's killed people... and he hurt you.'

I was a little confused. I wasn't really expecting her to be like this. I had planned on demanding to know where her Red John was, but I couldn't do that to a girl who sounded so innocent and caring. She was like the complete opposite of her brother. She was the yang to his yin.

'Uhh... yeah...' I replied, my voice a little quieter as I looked away from her for a moment, trying to push down the choking feelings that resurfaced every time I was taken back to that thick coppery scent that stung my nostrils and burnt my eyes.

'I'm sorry...' I heard her say quietly.

My gaze came back to meet hers just for a moment before she looked back down at her sleeve again. I lowered to my haunches, struck by her apology. She shouldn't have been the one to say sorry for the things her brother had done.

'I... I think he just got so angry and upset after mom died...' her voice picked up as she continued earnestly, 'I tried to help, I really did, but he didn't want it. That's why he sent me away. That's why he did what he did.'

'What did he do?'

'Um...he... he made me a little crazy.' A tiny flash of laughter broke her serious expression for just a moment. 'At least that's what the doctors think. I'm not crazy... at least I don't think I am.' She looked up, blank faced, her brain processing.

I was watching, listening to the small child's voice leak out of the older body.

'Eleanor, how old are you?'

Focusing on me now, 'I... I don't know. That's funny...'

After a pause, I heard Van Pelt reply softly from behind me, 'She's twenty seven.'

I briefly turned to see Lisbon and Van Pelt at the entrance to the bull pen, watching me and Eleanor.

'Why do you behave like a little girl, Eleanor?' I asked gently, 'What happened?'

'What do you mean?'

'You talk like a little girl, but you're older than that.'

'Aren't I supposed to be like this?'

She watched me, waiting, but when I didn't reply, her face fell. She began looking around. I could see her eyes watering, tears glistening.

'He didn't mean it. I know he didn't mean it. He... he loves me.'

'Eleanor...'

'Patrick?' she interrupted.

'Yes?'

'I want to play cards. Can we play cards?'