Chapter 4

Pop-Pop – I looked at Jess. Her head was in my lap. I was stroking her damp hair. She was calm now. For a few moments I feared she would cry herself into an apoplexy. My heart hurt for Jess. Here was a girl who has tried to do the right thing her whole life and receives nothing but hell and pain in return. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve such an asshole of a 'father' that was Riddick. She had grown and progressed so much from the scared 9-year-old that had slept in the back yard the first few weeks she lived with me. Dear Jess, an avid problem solver, but only when it came to problems other than her own.

Jess is probably the smartest person I know (She was tested once, the girl's IQ is some in the high one-hundreds.) and also the most confused human beings alive. I can't count how many seminars, speeches, class visits, assemblies, group discussions, and interviews where she has said:

"If your parent or parents walk out on you, please, please just remember, it's not your fault. It has nothing to do with you. There is nothing wrong with you. There is something wrong with them."

Too bad she can't listen to her own advice.

Tish, who I had stayed right outside the door after Jess had told her to leave, and whom I swore I would have to hog tie to keep from going after Riddick, helped me carry Jess to her room. When we laid Jess on her bed, I could tell she was emotionally and physically worn out. The poor girl was a mess. Rage filled me, I wanted to go after Riddick as badly as Tish, but Jess didn't need her grandfather dead or in jail right now. I had to be strong for her. But it was going to be alright, I assured myself and Tish as we left Jess' room. Once the Family, hell all of the L.C.S., found out the wrong that been done to its matriarch, the Child Queen herself, it was CTW. Circle The Wagons.

Riddick better thank his lucky stars that Michael McPheron wasn't alive to see this happen.

Jess- I looked around my room. Well, it was my room now; it used to be Mikey's. I smiled at that. He hated being called Mikey.

…Correction, he used to hate being called that…Chimed the cruel-realist of a voice in my head, reminding me that Michael was gone forever, and that he would never roll his eyes at me again for taunting him with his childhood nick-name. I expected fresh tears to come at the realization, but they didn't. I was too exhausted to cry, my head was throbbing, and I was hot. Tell-tell signs that I'd had a whopper of a crying spell. I hate crying, actually. Even though I know it's healthy to do it, it makes me feel like I'm weak.

So I got up and started pacing the spacious room, swinging my arms back and forth. With out warning I jumped up in the air and did a round house kick (Sub-consciously I think I aimed my foot somewhere in the vicinity that Jess head would be.) and landed perfectly on the floor with cat-like grace. I started doing spinning kicks till I got close to the wall. I took in a quick breath and began doing back-flips. After a few, I switched it up and began bobbing and weaving, jabbing and swinging at the air. I repeated this work out a couple of times till I was ready to collapse. Finally I rested against my desk.

But wouldn't you know it, a flashback hit me. I had been reclined in this same stance, some four years ago. Usually I would fight off memories about good times with Michael, but this one…this one I think about every day, for fear I might forget if I don't. So I closed my eyes and let the memories of a summer four years ago come back…..

It's a midsummer's evening in Anderville. Hometown to Michael "Mad Mike" McPheron and all the McPheron clan. He and his family have just spent the day barbequing, swimming, and having a good time. One last hoorah before Michael has to head off-world. He's going to Dekron System for a charity event. They need a famous young face there to draw the crowds and money, anything for the kids.

The sun is going down, but the party is nowhere near over. A bon fire is started and the lights in the pool come on, but the happiness and laughter don't even skip a beat. Mad Mike is making his way around the party to different groups of friends when he notices that the youngest member of his tight circle isn't anywhere to be seen. But it doesn't take him long to figure out where the real life of the party has gone. He does an impromptu cannon-ball into the pool and heads into the house, trunks dripping.

She's in his room of course, just where he knew she'd be. She's standing at the desk near the window, with a towel wrapped around her wet body, watching the sunset over the desert. Michael thinks about grabbing her sides and play fighting with her, but right away he senses something isn't right.

"Angel, what's wrong girl?" His thickens his accent to play off his worry.

Silence.

"…You're not mad that I'm not letting you go to Dekron with me, right?"

She half laughs: "Jeeze Mike, I'm not that childish. It's just that…"

What he hears in her voice makes his stomach coil. He can tell she's been crying.

He reaches out and turns her around to face him. "Jess, please. Tell me what's wrong."

"I don't want you to go. I have a bad feeling."

Michael knows there is truth to this statement. Jess has always been insanely intuitive. But he senses that there is more than what she is telling him.

He tilts his head, inquiringly: "Anything else you want to add to that?"

She's silent for a moment, and then looks up at him. Big green eyes look pleadingly into his bright hazels.

"I don't want you to leave."

And that was all that needed to be said. The message was clear. Michael and Jess were extremely close, despite the six year age difference. Some would have claimed romantically close, but it had never gone to that. But, maybe, maybe if she had been two years older…yeah their relationship would have been A LOT different, he would think.

Mad Mike looked at the freshly turned 14 year old in front of him. Beautiful already, even at this tender age. Intelligent, witty, loyal to a fault, and heartbroken that her best friend was leaving her behind. But he had a plan that would hopefully make their parting easier, if not memorable.

Jess saw the mischievous look in Michael's eyes. A devilish glint that let her know that there was something afoot and that he had a trick up his sleeve. Her heart immediately began beating faster.

"I've shown you a lot of stuff these past few years, huh?'"

Jess knew she was being led somewhere, a place she didn't know, but curiosity made her answer:

"Yup, skateboarding, surfin', moto-cross, Bob Marley, drinkin', brawlin'…" she looked over both her shoulders, as if making sure no one would hear "…weed." They both laughed.

"In other words, a lot of first time experiences."

"…yeah."

"Well, I wanna give you another first."

Jess took in all of Michael McPheron at that moment. His still dripping swim trunks, his wash-board abs and bare chest, his teenage frame was starting to fill out with muscle that he would carry into his adult manhood body. Pale skin, ebony black hair, and beautiful hazel eyes.

"And what would that be?"

He smiled a wicked smile then swooped forward without warning. Jess barely had time to gasp before his mouth covered hers in a kiss. Her first instinct was to push him away, but then she remembered who she was with. Michael who had taken her in off the streets, who'd given her a home, who'd set her up for nothing but success. Her best friend and confidant. Jess told her rigid to body relax and pay attention to what Mike was doing.

His soft lips moved playfully with hers, then he would slow down and she mimicked the movements back on his lips. Michael smiled to himself, she had always been a quick learner. He slanted his lips over hers, getting a better fit. Her hands went up to his chest, while one of his gently pulled off her towel, and then he put his arms around her. Jess hesitated for a second at having there almost naked bodies pressed together. But then she felt the soft mouth on hers demanding an answer, which she happily gave. After a moment of him coaxing she slipped her tongue into his mouth. She was glad she did, because he eagerly started sucking on it. Jess whimpered and pushed closer. But Michael pulled back for air, and to stop them from going any further. They were both a little shocked to find that Jess had slipped her arms up around his neck and that her body had risen fully up against his. (So much so that she stood on her tip-toes.) And Michael had her pushed against the desk. Michael stepped away from her and they laughed nervously.

"Are you going back out to the party Angel?"

"Yeah, but I'm guessing you're not, right?"

"Right, the ship leaves in the wee hours. I wanna get some rest before I have to deal with the bullshit space-port scenario." The two friends laughed heartily at that. Michael had always hated the drama surrounding the space-port and had been arrested a few times for starting trouble.

"So this means that this is the last time I'm gonna see you for while."

"Yeah, unless you wanna go for a Midnight Skaterun."

"No, that would just be dragging it out…Here this is for you." She pulls a sealed envelope out of the top drawer and hands it to him. He starts to open it, and then realizes she probably wants it opened when no one else is around and stops.

Jess smiles. "Bye Michael."

"Bye love." He hugs her tight.

Jess leaves the room feeling better about the separation, not knowing it would be the last time she would ever see Michael McPheron….

I opened my eyes from the memory, and yes, now there are tears streaming down my face. My loss of Michael is the only thing that could make me forget the heart ache of what I had just gone through with my father. But it doesn't make me forget, just adds to the pain I'm already in. I grab a pillow off the bed and start crying into it. The cruel-realist voice pops back into my head:

…You just don't seem to be able to keep men in your life Jess…

"Shut up."

…It's funny how the only two men in the entire universe who can hurt you like this…aren't around to care…

"Shut the fuck up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up."

I sat there and cried into my pillow for God knows how long. Till finally I picked myself off the floor, I grabbed my stereo system remote and flopped onto my bed. I turned on the stereo.

No, woman, no cry;
No, woman, no cry;
No, woman, no cry;
No, woman, no cry.

I say I remember when a we used to sit
In a government yard in Trench town,

Oba - obaserving the hypocrites as they would
Mingle with the good people we meet, meet
Good friends we have, oh, good friends we have lost
Along the way,way
In this great future called life, you can't forget your past;
So dry your tears, I seh. Yeah!

No, woman, no cry;
No,no, woman, no wooman cry. Eh, yeah!
no no wooman no wooman no cry
i say I remember when we used to sit
In the government yard in Trenchtown,
And then Georgie would make the fire light,
I seh, logwood burnin' through the night, night
Then we would cook cornmeal porridge, well i mean it
Of which I'll share with you, yeah!
My feet is my only carriage
And so I've got to push on through.
but while I'm gone,
Everything's gonna be all right!
Everything's gonna be all right!
Everything's gonna be all right, yahj!
Everything's gonna be all right!
Everything's gonna be all right-a!
Everything's gonna be all right!
Everything's gonna be all right, yeah!Everything's gonna be all right!So no, woman, no cry;
No, woman, no cry.
I seh, O little - O little sista don't shed no tears;
No, woman, no cry, eh.

No, woman - no, woman - no, woman, no cry;
No, woman, no cry.
One more time I got to say:
O little - little darlin', please don't shed no tears;
No, woman, no cry.

I couldn't help but smile at the irony. There is a God after all, and He is good. Terrible shit just happens. Shit happens. But good things from Him are around if you look for them. Like Bob Marley.

"Praise Jah." I said out loud to no one in particular. I closed my eyes and took a well deserved nap.

Yeah, I'm worried about my mental state too.

Epilogue

Five miles west of Anderville Lord Vaako sat alone in the cab of the stolen eighteen wheeler. His men were either in the trailer or out training in afternoon sun. Vaako took out a tattered envelope. He had gone through hell keeping this secret when he had been converted; the Necromongors took everything from you. But some how he had managed. He carefully pulled out the envelopes only content. A photo.

It was a picture of his old self: Michael McPheron, and Jess. It was the first picture taken of them together. They both had on black bandannas. He was pretty sure that there had been a larger copy of it in his old room as well. He smirked, he now knew after all this time what the 'R' in her name stood for. The picture itself wasn't near as important as the note that was written on the back, in Jess' neat script:

I love you Michael McPheron, I always will.

I'll holler you home.

- Jess R. Casper