Nope, still not dead. So Lal Mirch won, after briefly tying with Bianchi, but more on that after the chapter I made you wait so long for. Again. (I am a bad person and I should feel bad. And I do.)
In other news, there really needs to be a word for better than awesome (stupendous, maybe, but that just sounds kind of frilly and pretentious), because I need a new adjective to describe how great you reviewers are (past the two hundred mark and apparently someone recc'ed me. The horrifying fangirl squee I swore never to make could be heard for miles.). Unfortunately, I haven't actually gotten any email notices from this site since late December. Well. I got a PM last week, but I'm still not sure if that was an exception or it's finally working again. Um. Has anyone else had this problem?
But yeah, there should probably be actual chapter right about now. So…here!
Lal Mirch
1.
Lal Mirch spent her years prior to the Arcobaleno Incident juggling between Comsubin, tutoring Colonnello, and serving as the Rain Guardian of the Varia.
(Before the tutoring, she had always felt convinced that nothing would outweigh her devotion to the Vongola's Varia)
Many years later, when she has regained her adult form, the first thing she does is return to the Varia's castle and beat the hell out of Superbi Squalo for being such a crappy replacement.
2.
Contrary to popular belief, Lal has no problem wearing dresses outside of work.
It's so much easier to conceal weapons in a skirt anyway.
3.
The only thing Lal refuses to admit even more than her less-than-secret love for Colonnello is the fact that, deep down, she honestly does resent him for taking her place among the Arcobaleno.
4.
Lal Mirch hates Luce the moment she lays eyes on her. The Giglio Nero boss is everything she is not—sweet, empathetic, tactful, gentle, and unquestionably loved by all. The only other Arcobaleno not instantly smitten by her are Viper and Verde, and she seriously doubts either of them would know sexual or emotional attraction if it bit them on the ass.
Hating Luce quickly becomes an exhausting task, as the woman does not seem to have a single hateful bone in her body, and so it doesn't take much for Lal to give in when Luce asks her (not Fon, the legendary martial artist, or Reborn, the flawless hitman) to teach her how to defend herself. In return, Luce helpfully gives her advice on flirting and seduction that Lal knows she'll never have the confidence to use.
As they get to know each other, Lal's hatred turns slowly into pity. Luce, she discovers, puts a great deal of effort into being a lovely figurehead, but little to none into being a functional human being.
Lal would like to think that they're friends now, but she's still glad she isn't around the day Luce finally breaks.
(She flat-out refuses to ever meet Aria for the same reason.)
5.
Lal Mirch and Fon have a dynamic eerily similar to a certain other pair of Rain and Storm Guardians, save for the fact that she's the short-tempered one and he incredibly laid back. She hesitates to call what they have 'friendship' ('what does it take to wipe the retarded grin off that spacey bastard's face' would be far more accurate), but it certainly serves to make both of them stronger and Luce never seems to mind paying for the property damage.
It's always amused her that Colonnello feels more threatened by this less-than-stellar relationship than her amiable friendship with notorious Casanova Reborn.
6.
When Timoteo decides to adopt Xanxus, Lal Mirch is among the many dissenters. When Xanxus claws his way to the top of the Varia, she is the first to tell her boss that he should stop his son before the boy manages to screw up everything she and her generation worked so hard to achieve. Following the Cradle Affair, it is only by Reborn's intervention that Lal is prevented from punishing the rest of the Varia personally.
When news reaches her of Xanxus's defeat in the Vongola ring battle, Sawada Tsunayoshi wins Lal's eternal gratitude before she ever meets the boy. She knows Timoteo would hate her for it, but she wishes she'd been there to watch that bastard burn.
7.
Lal, to the surprise of no one, comes from a military family. Her father is a decorated admiral who clearly would've preferred a son, and her mother absent for much of her life due to the aforementioned traits of her father. Her father raises her as the son he'd always wanted before foisting her off on his old friend Daniela, better known as Vongola Ottavo, when he has to go back out to sea.
Daniela in turn sends her to the same academy as her son, where Lal puts the years under her father's strict training regimen to good use and promptly wipes the floor with all the boys in her year (including a certain future hitman, but excluding Timoteo, who's fortunate enough to be several years older than Lal).
The ruthlessness of the mafia captivates Lal Mirch and the Vongola welcome her with open arms, but her upbringing and blood will always belong to the military, which is how she finds herself trying to balance two fulltime jobs and absolutely no personal life.
(Then that third job comes along, and she'll deny that it's personal as long as she has to, damn it.)
When the Arcobaleno curse goes horribly awry, Lal is convinced that she's rejected not because of Colonnello's interference, but her own conflicting loyalties.
8.
The first thing any member of CEDEF learns about Lal Mirch is that she's a terribly sore loser with a competitive streak a mile long. It is for this reason that, despite her seniority, Sawada Iemitsu makes damn sure she stays away from the more diplomatic missions.
(Naturally this reaches its logical conclusion when, in a comedy of errors, she, Xanxus and Hibari Kyouya are assigned to attend a conference in Venice together. While the ensuing destruction and bills nearly send Vongola Decimo into cardiac arrest, every witness to the incident immediately allies themselves with the Vongola afterwards, no questions asked.)
The only exceptions to this are Lal's students. She's not doing her job if she hasn't worked them more than half to death, but she's always proud to see them surpass her.
9.
Lal Mirch honestly doesn't notice Colonnello until Reborn formally introduces them, but she finds it impossible not to notice him afterwards. Out of all the passionate, driven men under her tutelage he's probably one of the most passionate and driven, but the thing that strikes her most is his rather worrying martyr complex. When he takes her place as the Rain Arcobaleno she's dismayed, but not particularly surprised.
Lal can pinpoint the exact moment she falls for Colonnello; it's two seconds before she decides she'll never tell him. It's not the confession itself she's ever been afraid of, so much as the knowledge that she'll inevitably lose him to his own ideals no matter what her decision.
(And yet, when she finally does lose him all she wishes is that she'd given them a chance after all.)
10.
Due to a variety of circumstances, Lal Mirch never actually meets Sawada Tsunayoshi. She's seen the work he's done as Decimo and most of his Guardians are eager to sing his praises, but she's heard that song and dance before with Timoteo, and the Vongola still nearly collapsed after Xanxus's second grab for power.
So Lal's more than a little surprised when the world keeps spinning after the Tenth is assassinated by Millefiore. Yes, the family's despair is practically palpable and the Guardians seem especially devastated, but there's no civil wars or power grabs or even total collapse and surrender to Millefiore, only the ongoing fight and a sense of expectation.
Lal doubts even the infamous Vongola Decimo has a backup plan in a situation like this, but she appreciates his influence nonetheless for giving them the strength they need to keep fighting.
Man, I am reaching on the number tens now, aren't I? Also, welcome to the weirder corners of my head-canon. I apologize if it ever gets TOO weird.
Again, the future events are meant for the TYL-verse rather than the current canon, partially because the TYL-verse haunts me forever but mostly because it was still going when I started this and I wanted to stay consistent.
Anyway! Because of the brief Lal Mirch-Bianchi tie, Bianchi is actually done, but as much as you guys deserve another double-whammy I thought you deserved the return of a regular schedule more. So Bianchi will be posted sometime next week, which will hopefully give me enough time to finish the next one. Which is decided. Alas, the vote has been put to rest. After Bianchi the order will be Haru, Kyoko, and then at long-last, the Varia.
I will finish this, damn it.