Hi all, and welcome to the second part of our amazing advice, what a beautiful day it is, when I could be outside playing Quidditch, JAMES!

Padfoot, you said that we should start writing an 'advice thing' so you of all people should give up some time and write to it.

Ooh what's got your wand in a knot? Did she say 'no' again?

How did you guess?

When your hurt James, I'm hurt, when you have problems I have problems, when-

Stop with all the gushy-ness Padfoot, it doesn't suit you to suck up.

After we have answered a few questions Padfoot we will go and play Quidditch.

On second thought I might not, I feel rather sick.

You were fine hopping about the common room earlier.

I get the feeling that you have committed a crime, what have you done?

Well, you know the other night when you said I could borrow your broomstick? Well, while I was on the pitch I saw that girl, I think her names Melanie. She called me over and I sped down on the broom, I must say Prongs its amazing. Well, it got a scratch on it, I'm sorry.

You're SORRY? Is that all you can say?

Blame Melanie, you can't blame me, you should she how hot she is. You can't see me NOT going to see her.

I'd run if I were you Padfoot, he is getting that twitch, what he gets when he is mad.

Prongs, if you don't back away now I'll tell McGonagall you stole her knickers.

Didn't you steal them for a dare?

Yeah but I can just blame Prongs. She loves me, she's bound to think I'm telling the truth.

RUN!!!

I'm sorry I'm late guys, what's wrong with you Potter?

Oh, nothing my Lilyflower.

Nothing? You were just about to kill me!

What did you do Black?

ME?

Now Padfoot looks like he is going to murder someone, wow him abd Prongs both do that face so well.

I'm going.

No, Sirius don't, don't get in a paddy. Paddy get it? Padfoot – paddy? Haha.

Moony that was the worse joke ever.

It tickled me.

I thought it was quite funny.

Well, Wormtail I bet you didn't even get it.

I think we should move on things are getting out of hand.

Q. Remus: I LOVE YOU!! Anyways, I'm almost out of books to read. Do you think you could give me a few suggestions?

Wow, someone loves you Moony.

Why do you seem so surprised?

Yeah last week he got asked out by that girl.

That's a nice name.

And you said my joke was bad.

It wasn't bad, it was awful.

Well thanks, but I might get back to answering the question.

Go on then enlighten us with the whole 'book talk'.

Well, I have to say one of my favourite books of all time, is probably Hogwarts: A history. If you haven't read it I would advise you to do so, this is because you will find out about the past and the secrets of Hogwarts.

No offence but none of us will read it, we are the masters of Hogwarts.

We don't care about you and your little 'fantasy world'. Go away.

Hey, we do know the ALL of the secrets of Hogwarts.

I assure you that you don't, this is because Dumbledore himself doesn't know about all of the secrets of Hogwarts.

Whatever.

By the way, if you want to find a good book, take a browse through the library, I have found many good books from doing this.

I don't read books, I read magazines.

Yes, and we all know what magazines you read.

Hey, you read them too.

Stop it, we have a girl in the room, I'm sure she doesn't care about your 'magazines'.

Your right, I do not care what those two idiots get up to in their spare time.

You're just jealous.

About what exactly, Black?

You just are.

That was such a brilliant comeback.

Q. Sirius -Your hair is ABSOLUTELY gorgeous (but Lily's is better!). I was just wondering how you get it so shiny, because my hair, while nice-looking, is nowhere near as shiny or soft.
Why didn't this person mention my hair? Mine is the best of all.

Yes, maybe, but this person wants the get-girls-with-great-hair-look not the just-got-out-of-bed-look.

Padfoot, I'll have you know it's the just-got-off-my-broom-look.

We don't care, just answer the question Black!

My hair is better than yours any day Evans.

Black, the question clearly states, I quote 'but Lily's hair is better'.

Yeah, but the questioner wants to know how to get great hair like mine so there! HA!

Sirius, answer the question.

Wow Peter you have spoke for ages, where have you been.

Sitting here being annoyed by you!

Ooo, someone's mardy.

Black, some of us have a life, just answer the question.

Ok then.

Black, if you don't start I will rip of your head and hang it on the school gates.

Arrghhh, a fiery red head! I shall tell.

Come on Sirius.

Well, before you can get lovely hair like mine, you must purchase Dr Shine's Hair Care Shampoo and Conditioner. You can get it with owl order, you just get the quibbler and-

The quibbler?

Huh?

You said you would never read that trash.

I only buy it so it can lead me to shiny and smooth hair.

Carry on.

Wow moony you're hanging on to my every word!

Erm, no I'm not, just carry on, I'm bored.

Go away then.

No Sirius I will go when this is finished.

Ha, I told you he wanted great hair like mine.

Whatever, just get on with it.

And all this time, you were trying to get in the bathroom while I was doing my hair, to steal my hair products, I thought you fancied me Moony.

Black, no one cares about your tormented past GET ON WITH IT!

Oh ok where was I? Ah yes. You must get the little coupon on the back of the quibbler send it of and, well it tells you all of this on the back of the coupon. Well on the back of the shampoo and conditioner it tells you to wash rinse and repeat. DO NOT FOLLOW THIS! To get great hair like mine you must not repeat.

Is that it?

Yeah Padfoot I always thought you had a mysterious way to get shiny hair, not something so stupid any one could figure out.

It's not stupid. If you don't want good hair then, don't follow it.

Don't worry, Black, none of us will.

You can't fool me! Tonight all of you will be doing this.

Where has moony gone?

Probably to wash, rinse and NOT repeat like me.

Black? How come you always turn the conversation to yourself?

It's a gift.

I would say it's more of a curse than a gift.

Q. Lily - I like this guy. How do I tell if he likes me back?
How would she know, her list consists of Zero, zip, zilch, nada.

Hey, she is going out with me, so her love life consists of more than that.

Potter, let me put it this way, if you were the last guy on the earth, I still wouldn't go out with you. So stop asking me.

Now that's saying something.

Hey Moony, your back.

Your hair looks well shiny.

I told you he was going to wash, rinse, and NOT repeat.

Get over it Black, but I must saying Remus your hair looks really shiny.

My work here is done.

Thanks everyone.

I'm brilliant.

You are not Black, you did one thing right, so shut up.

If you come down with shiny hair tomorrow, you shall be named a hypocrite.

Lily, how come you didn't write back? That was about a minute.

I'm just shocked that with Black's pea sized brain he managed to use the word hypocrite in a sentence correctly.

Jealous much?

Not really Black, it's not a great accomplishment.

What was the question?

It was about this person who wanted to get this boy to like her back.

Haven't we answered a question about this before?

For once in your life Black, I think you are correct.

That's twice in one day, I'm getting good!

Well, the answer to this question is do not change yourself to get a guy to like you.

Oh I remember this question! It was when we finally found out that Moony is gay!

If you say that one more time I am going to tell everyone you named your broom Mr. Windy-wobbler

Moony, come out the closet! I said that because you just told everyone about Mr. Windy-wobbler. How dare you, he shall kill you in your sleep tonight.

Black, we are in seventh year, I can't believe you could be such an immature idiot.

If you don't shut up Evans, he shall kill you in your sleep too!

I'm sorry everyone but this is the end to this edition because we must go and give Padfoot his pills.