Here's Chapter Three. More fun with the crazy Kaiba-sitter ensues. Also, I gave Yami his own body, but he's considered Yugi's cousin in this. Thanks for reading, and I hope it is very enjoyable.

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything. Not Yu-Gi-Oh, not Obsession or Chanel (parodied as Possession and Janel), not even the being from which Ms. Toilet's handbag was made.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Later that night, after Ms. Toilet's departure, Mokuba grabbed some bacon, called his brothers to his bedroom, and partook in a lovely Lotusshipping-filled hour…

Just kidding.

Mokuba summoned his brothers to his bedroom for a strategy meeting (he held off on the bacon; it might distract them from the task at hand). He didn't know what Ms. Toilet was planning, but whatever it was, it couldn't end well.

"I think Ms. Toilet is planning to do something to Gozaburo," he told them when they arrived.

Noah and Seto wore unconcerned expressions. Mokuba was nonplussed.

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"Of course she wants to do something to Gozaburo, Mokuba. He, along with the three of us, own Kaibacorp. Everyone wants to do something to him," Seto responded matter-of-factly. "Really, I think we should just let her, after he inflicted her on us."

"But I think she's planning to drag us into it as well. She said something about 'subduing' us," Mokuba explained.

Seto and Noah became very animated. "Oh, hell, no! Nobody subdues me, no, plots to subdue me, and gets away with it!" Seto affirmed. "Wait, where were we during all of this?"

"Incapacitated." A rim shot sounded from somewhere in the ceiling.

"Did she happen to slip up and say what she's going to do?" Noah asked.

"No, but she said he'd be 'hers, all hers' within the week."

"She's a gold-digger. She wants to use us to get close to him so she can leech off of his-and our-money," Seto spat.

"It didn't sound like she wanted his money. It sounded like she just wanted him," Mokuba replied.

-O-o-O-

On the other side of Domino, Yugi took off his headphones. "Is it just me, or do I hear the Kaibas laughing like hyenas?"

"No, it isn't just you," Yami responded, not taking his eyes off his book.

-O-o-O-

"So what do you propose we do about her?" Noah asked, when the three had caught their breaths.

"For now, we'll keep a very close eye on her," Seto concluded. "If she does anything shady, we'll find a way to get her fired."

"And if that doesn't work?"

"Well, then we try to corner her into the upstairs bathroom, with all those nice big windows and that wall that blocks our property…"

-O-o-O-

Another day, another session with the "Kaiba-sitter" from hell.

And another eye-crippling outfit. Today, Ms. Toilet was clad in a banana yellow suit and a floppy white tie with red polka dots. On her feet were enormous lime green platform boots and on her head sat an impossibly high pink beehive with blond curls dangling at random intervals.

"She looks like a clown," Mokuba whispered to Noah and Seto.

"Yeah, really. I understand that looks aren't everything, but damn," Noah whispered back.

Ms. Toilet must have heard, because she whipped around (all of her, not just her head) and yelled "Why don't you check yourself before you wreck yourself, Mr. Hot Pants?"

Noah looked down at his shorts. "They're not that short," he said in a small voice as Ms. Toilet rifled through her bag (most likely for the mind-numbing video for that day's session).

"Seriously, she looks like a clown on acid," Seto snickered behind his hand.

Ms. Toilet sprung up in front of him and shouted, "What do you think you look like, you little punk?"

Seto looked down at his black shirt and pants and white studded trenchcoat. "Durr…Normal?" he responded in his most condescending tone.

"Don't you take that tone with me." Ms. Toilet glowered, her brows lowering nearly to the top of her eyeshadow smears (they didn't have far to go).

"Oh, then what type of tone would you prefer, O greatly venerated nursemaid?" Seto shot back in a not at all kind voice.

"I would prefer no tone, because you are NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK BACK TO YOUR ELDERS!" Ms. Toilet shrilled in his face. She then turned back to her bag (which was made of the leftover material from yesterday's outfit) while Seto wrung the layer of talk-spittle out of his shirt.

"Today," Ms. Toilet continued, "you will be watching another four hours of 'Barney and Friends.'" Upon hearing this, the three brothers rolled their eyes. Seeing this, she continued, "And if I hear any more comments about my fashion sense, you will all have to stand with your noses on the wall and write 'I will not talk back' ONE HUNDRED TIMES!" Ms. Toilet warned. The Kaibas stared at her like she was completely off her rocker, which she was.

The video began to play. Ms. Toilet stalked out of the room.

The brothers shared a look, then very quietly, crept towards the door.

Seto was thankful that the door had been oiled earlier that week as they slowly pushed it open. They saw Ms. Toilet enter the bathroom, then close the door.

"Let's listen," Mokuba said. "She's probably going to talk to herself some more about her plan."

As the three crept towards the bathroom, a most foul scent permeated the air, particularly the air surrounding their noses.

"Good lord, Seto, what did you eat?" Noah fanned the air.

"Does that seriously smell like any odor that I'd emit?" Seto glared. "It smells more like that atrocious perfume, Possession."

"Smells more like Janel number two," Mokuba remarked, snorting a tissue.

"But why is it wafting through our house?" Seto mused, leaning toward the crack in the door.

Ms. Toilet stood in front of the mirror, spraying the yellow perfume over her hair and neck.

However, the perfume was forgotten when the brothers took notice of the fact that Ms. Toilet was clad in a yellowish girdle, bra, and high-waisted underwear. The drooping mustard stockings and orange toenail polish did not help matters.

"Oh, god, this is worse than when I walked in on Father in the shower!" Noah covered his eyes.

"Why did you have to put that image in my head? Now I have to pour bleach up my nose," Mokuba lamented.

"Quiet! She'll hear you," Seto hushed his brothers.

Ms. Toilet continued to drown herself in the perfume. "Oh, with this scent I'll be irresistible!" She added a final spritz to her beehive. "Gozaburo Kaiba will have no choice but to give me his undivided attention for the rest of the week. As for those three brats, they'll be busy taking a nice ride on the porcelain bus when they get a whiff of this!"

"She's irresistible in the same way a car wreck is fascinating," Seto grumbled.

"She'll be irresistible to a swarm of flies," Mokuba snickered.

"Actually it's not so bad." Noah sniffed the air.

Seto and Mokuba stared. "You've been smoking rubber bands again, haven't you?"

In the bathroom, Ms. Toilet's head perked up. "What was that?" She snapped her head around the room, sniffing. "I smell….Kaibas…"

Before the brothers could beat it down the hall, the door flew open and slammed Noah square in the crotch.

"What are you doing out here?" Ms. Toilet hissed. She looked down at Noah, who was writhing in pain. "What's his problem?"

"You hit him with the door," Seto answered.

"What are you—" Mokuba started to ask, but stopped after a look from Seto.

Ms. Toilet cocked her head. "What am I what?"

"What are you….Using as a perfume? It has a nice strong smell. You know, perfume was first invented in France," Mokuba rambled.

"It's called Possession," Ms. Toilet answered, sounding increasingly irritated. "Why are you standing outside the door when I am changing my clothes?"

"Er…Well….We weren't watching you undress…" Mokuba started. Seto smacked himself in the forehead.

"You little voyeurs," Ms. Toilet started.

"We had to use the bathroom," Seto interjected.

"All of you? At the same time?"

"Yes. Do you have a problem with that?" Seto put his hand on his hip.

Ms. Toilet turned up her nose. "Your perverted bathroom rituals are none of my concern, so no, I do not." She picked up her dead Big Bird bag. "Now if you will excuse me, I am going into another room to change." She stalked off down the hall.

"Well, a lot of good that did us," Seto griped. "We didn't find out one bit of information we couldn't have figured out ourselves."

"Not necessarily," Mokuba said. "From the way she said 'irresistible,' we now know what she wants from Gozaburo."

"But why would she want just attention from him? She must want some money out of him," Seto argued.

"I think," a newly recovered Noah suggested. "We need to delve deeper into this lady's life."

The brothers were interrupted by a masculine scream from the den, shortly after Ms. Toilet entered it.

"Sorry, Roland," Seto yelled down the hall.

-O-o-O-o-O-

It'll get even more ridiculous in later chapters.