James – Underlined
Sirius – Bold
Remus – Italics
Peter – Bold italics
Snape – underlined Italics
Hey everyone I hope you enjoy the new chapter :)
Welcome to the 7th edition, I introduce, Severus Snape.
Boy, Sniv, we have had loads of questions in about you and your greasiness!
God, Black he has been here for about 2 minutes and you are already trying to pick a fight!
That pan of grease started it.
By doing what exactly, Black?
Looking at me, it creeps me out.
How mature.
Q. Snape - Are you secretly gay? If so do you fancy Moony?
Back off Snivelly, Moony is our friend.
The last I heard was that Black had a thing for him.
I am not gay!
Denial! (Thanks wildwolfy!) )
Watch out Moony, he might start giving you the look like you used to do to me, watch out!
Why would I give him 'the look', fool?
We don't care about your opinion, no one wants you here. Go die!
Black! Stop it!
I don't want to be matey with a two-faced deatheater!
Lily? Why do you always stick up for him?
Unlike you, Potter I do not ask her out every moment of the day, I am a true friend to Lily.
God, there is an awful stench in the room, open a window! Took a bath this week, Sniv?
Shut up Black, at least I do not carry around a comb and try and perfect my hair every minute of the day!
At least I care about my appearance. Cracked a mirror lately?
Severus! Black! Can we just get on with this, without the both of you going on and on?
Sorry, Lily.
Q. Severus – Ever heard of 'Clearasil'?
I have! It's that muggle spot stuff, ive used it a couple of times, but it ran out.
Yeah I borrowed some, it worked quite well.
I used some, but it just gave me more spots.
So that's why you walked around school looking like a pizza!
Pete, you know you're allergic to one of the ingredients in it.
You could have told me!
Serves you right for nicking my stuff! If you didn't love me so much and tried to copy everything I do-
As much as we love talking about you, Black, we should answer the question.
Why would I want to use a filthy muggle treatment?
Ive used it before and I still do now, its quite good!
I was only joking Lils.
Sniv, you're a bad liar, apologise!
I only said, why would I use it?
You called it a filthy muggle treatment! If you don't shut up I will throw something in your potion in our next class so you will fail.
James, stop it, it was only by accident.
I don't want him insulting my girlfriend.
Potter, you are so delusional, you're not going out with Lily.
Are you going out with her Prongs?
Yeah, we are.
In your dreams, Potter.
I am sorry to say this Severus, but we are.
But you hate his guts!
I did, but he has got much nicer this year, and he has stopped hexing everyone who walks by him.
What about me?
What about you, Sniv?
You know what I am talking about, Black, you and Potter hexed me yesterday!
You're a special case.
Q. Snape - If they took potions of the curriculum would you kill yourself?
Let's hope they will get rid of Potions!
Is potions your favourite lesson, Severus?
Yes, it is.
So would you kill yourself?
Well, Lupin, I wouldn't be very happy would I if potions is my favourite lesson, but I certainly wouldn't kill myself. God, why don't you think next time!
God, I was hoping and praying that they would take it off, and don't be mean to Moony!
Yeah, Sniv he was only asking.
Don't be such a moron, Sniv!
James, Black, there is two of you and one of him, lay off.
Yes, I don't mind Padfoot, thanks for sticking up for me though. What's your favourite lesson, Lily?
I really like charms.
Can you remember that time when you tutored me in charms?
Yes I can, and I was really shocked to find out that you were actually really good at it, and we had only done one lesson.
Yeah, Lily stopped them after that.
I should have waited a bit longer to enlighten her with my magical abilities.
Q: For Sirius, are your accusations of Remus being gay just compensation of your own homosexuality?
Who picks these questions?
Your mum, haha.
Pete do you know how annoying that is? Everyone says it, it was funny at first but it isn't now.
Sorry, it was just a joke.
He is just following the crowd it's the only thing he knows how to do.
Thanks, Padfoot. Hey! I do not follow the crowd.
Stop with the 'your mum' jokes then!
By the way, in answer to the question, I am not gay.
Denial!
If I was gay, why would I go out with nearly every girl in the school?
Well, let's put it this way, no one else does this, it isn't normal behaviour. You're just trying to bottle up your feelings. I don't mind if you're gay.
For the millionth time, I am not gay!
Denial.
Why does everyone keep saying that?
We are saying it because we know you are gay.
Fine call me gay, but Snape is even gayer.
I don't think 'gayer' is even a word.
And Moony, you're the gayest!
God, Padfoot, just admit you're gay! We wont hold it against you.
Prongs, if you suggest that I am gay again I will dunk your head in a toilet, just like I did to Snape last week. I am sure you wouldn't want to experience it.
By the way, Snape how was your hair afterwards?
It must have been the first wash in what? A month?
Black, how did you get rid of the zits I gave you afterwards?
Easy, Sniv, that spell wasn't very advanced.
Q. How do you get your hair so greasy, I mean mine is SO bland. I think it's perfect the way you can just slither your hands through it while you make out...
EW! That is so disgusting, what happened to wanting shiny smooth hair?
I know, putting a hand through greasy hair! It would feel like vegetable oil or something.
How do you know what vegetable oil feels like?
No reason.
Tell her Prongs, she is your girlfriend.
Shut up Padfoot, it's embarrassing.
Tell me James!
He used to cook a lot with his mum. It's not even embarrassing.
It is, just think – sexy Quidditch captain, fab hair, likes to cook. How gay does that sound?
Aw, I think it's sweet.
Ew, I feel repulsed again, just think the conversation has turned from the greasiness of Snape's hair to food, gross!
How do you get your hair so greasy, Sniv?
He simply doesn't wash it, instead he bathes it in a pan of grease.
Way to be mature, Black.
Hey everyone, I hope you like the new chapter, let me know if anything needs changing. Moony wasn't mentioned much in this one, I will try and make him say more in the next chapter. Do you think I should keep Snape in the next one? Please keep sending the questions in. Please review :) xx